Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything affiliated with it.
Robin was fuming. He was known for his short temper at the expense of the villains they faced on a daily basis, but this fury was aimed at a member of his own team. He unlocked the main entrance to the tower before running along the corridors and up the stairs to the residential hallway where they all slept. Taking a moment to catch his breath, he cast his mind back to the battle they'd just narrowly won – the same battle where he almost lost a teammate.
He tried to justify the fact that she was day-dreaming… spaced-out… away with the fairies… but no matter how he phrased it, in his opinion there was no excuse for not being one hundred percent committed to the fight. Cinderblock was rampaging towards her as she floated in mid-air, oblivious to the danger she was putting herself in. The closer he got to the unprotected demoness, the faster his heart pounded in his chest. He called out her name but received no acknowledgement that she'd heard his cries. Cursing, he shouted for Beast Boy – who thankfully was already aware of the potential predicament - and watched as the anamorph transformed into a green pterodactyl, swooping towards Raven and plucking her from the air just as Cinderblock's gargantuan form was about to hit her.
He breathed a sigh of relief. However, it was short-lived as he watched Beast Boy transform back into his usual human form and fall to the ground beneath him, wincing and grabbing his injured arm. He ran towards the pair, noticing Raven come out of her trance. His eyes narrowed into slits as she took in the scene around her: debris littering the ground, Cinderblock escaping with Starfire following close behind, Beast Boy trying to control the pain shooting up and down his arm. He was about to rip into her lack of responsibility but never had the chance: she opened a portal underneath her and collapsed through the floor.
Beast Boy had told him to go after her, concerned for her well-being over his own. So Robin left him in Cyborg's capable hands and headed back to the tower.
Breath recovered, he marched towards the second door on the right – Raven's door – and punched in the override code to unlock it. The door whizzed open, revealing the dark demoness lying on her bed. At the intrusion of her leader, she sluggishly sat up and waited for him to speak, knowing there was point in her giving an explanation until he'd said his piece. Ashamed of her behaviour, she tried to keep calm as Robin came to side of her bed and glared down at her.
"What the hell happened there, Raven?" he shouted. Silence. She had an answer, but not one that Robin would be interested in hearing.
"You were almost crushed!" he reminded her. "Oh, wait, you were too distracted to even notice."
'Unintentionally,' she thought as she tried her best to ignore the negative energy radiating from him. She felt guilty enough as it was without him belittling her for her actions – or lack of. She shouldn't have gone to battle in the first place, but that would have led to even more questions from her teammates.
"Beast Boy is injured because of your negligence and you have nothing to say. I need an explanation, Raven."
She wasn't looking at him anymore, which annoyed him even more. Raven was one of the most trustworthy, reliable members of the Titans: she was always ready to battle, focused, strategic… he couldn't afford for her to be anything less than her best, especially when so many criminals and supervillains were roaming the streets of Jump City. He could tell this interrogation wasn't getting him anywhere, so he slumped down on her bed next to her.
"You've never done that in a battle before," he stated with less anger in his voice.
"It won't happen again," Raven whispered sincerely.
He could feel that she meant it, which made him feel slightly better. But not enough. Even his conversation was un-Raven-like: the fiery strong-willed sorceress would normally defend herself in an argument. He should know. In such a demanding, stressful job, five teenage superheroes under one T-shaped roof – with five extremely strong and different personalities - was a mix that led to many unnecessary disputes. He and Raven had gone head-to-head on many occasions in the four years they'd been living together, and every time she'd reacted very differently to how she was now.
Robin reminded her, "Whenever we argue, you normally give back as good as you get."
Raven smirked slightly under her breath. "Not when I'm in the wrong," she revealed.
At least she understood why he was annoyed with her. As leader of the team, he took their safety and well-being as a paramount responsibility – regardless of the fact that all four members could handle themselves. Today, watching her put her own life at risk – and Beast Boy's, was frustrating. They trained daily to avoid such situations. They analysed previous battles and strategized to prevent failure. They left their personal matters behind when protecting the city they called home.
"I'll heal Beast Boy and apologise when they return," she said, standing up. Stumbling towards the door, she opened it as a gesture for Robin to leave her alone now that she'd pacified his ill-thoughts.
Not a snowflake's chance in Hell.
"Should I be concerned that you stumbled?" he asked, his mind noticing her every move as she leaned against the wall by the entrance to her room.
"No," she deadpanned.
Now that his anger had calmed itself, he took time to analyse her. Only then did he notice the way she'd suppressed a yawn; the dark circles outlining her eyes; the slight dullness that resided on her face when usually there was a glow of a healthy complexion; the way she was using the wall to support her.
Robin frowned, walking towards the demoness. "Why are you so tired?" he asked, never one to beat around the bush. He could immediately tell that he'd caught her out.
"No reason in particular," she said confidently, hoping Robin would believe her. He didn't.
"Are you sick?" he inquired, removing a glove and holding his hand against her forehead – an action that would leave any one else with one less appendage.
She shoved his hand from her head, stating she was fine and moving back to her bed: she appreciated personal space and presently Robin was taking up too much of it.
"Are you not sleeping?" he persisted. He couldn't help it. Being the protégé of one of the greatest superhero detectives alive meant he was raised to be curious and solve puzzles – his current one being the young powerful girl in front of him.
"Robin, you've said everything you need to. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to rest before Beast Boy gets home," Raven said, suppressing the urge to wrap him up in ethereal black tendrils and throw him from her room.
She watched with relief as he walked towards the open doorway… and firmly locked the door.
"What the hell!" she seethed standing up, even though it was within her capabilities to simply unlock it with her powers.
"If there is something troubling you, I need to know."
"The only thing bothering me is a five-foot-eight stubborn leader who doesn't know when to drop it," she said angrily.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, Raven, so you might as well talk now."
She was growing increasingly impatient. "I'll talk when I want to talk, not when I'm ordered to."
"Yeah, because you're world-renowned for being an open book," Robin argued sarcastically.
Suddenly they could both hear a low giggling noise coming from somewhere in the room. Robin looked at her questionably, but all she did was curse under her breath.
"What was that?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in suspicion.
"None of your concern."
Robin hated when Raven was like this. Of all the admirable qualities she possessed, her stubbornness and independent nature weren't two of them in situations like this. Despite being friends for a long time now, her defensive walls were just as strong as the first day they met on that fateful night that Starfire found refuge on Earth.
"How long have we known each other now, Raven?" he asked rhetorically. She remained silent. "It's been long enough for me to know that 'none of your concern' means I should be concerned."
"Well, Bird Brain certainly does know you well…" the mysterious voice spoke. "But does he know you as intimately as I do?"
Robin didn't like the sinister undertone the voice spoke in, or the way that Raven had suddenly withdraw more into herself, collapsing onto her bed and massaging her temples with both hands. He went into her en-suite and poured her a glass of water, trying to help her out by regulating his confused emotions.
He took a seat next to her, handing her the water which she gratefully accepted. After a few moments of tense silence, Robin asked, "Are you ready to explain?" he asked.
She took another sip of the water, put it down, and turned to face Robin. His earlier feelings of anger had been quickly replaced with ones of concern and confusion.
"Do you remember Malchior?"
How could he forget the all-powerful deceitful wizard-turned-dragon who betrayed Raven's trust and broke her heart? It was over almost two years since the night she'd accidentally released him from his leather-bound prison, leaving him free to attack the Titans and their tower. Robin hated reminiscing about failures: although they'd won the battle, Raven's distress when she closed the book with the recaptured sorcerer locked inside was something he'd never forgotten.
"Is that… him speaking?" he asked, again knowing the answer. Now that Robin had reheard the villain's name, he recognised the soothing tone in his manipulative voice. Raven nodded in reply, pointing to a chest in a dark corner of her room.
"I don't understand – why is he here? I thought you would have cast him into another dimension or something?"
Raven sighed, "It's not as easy as that. Because I created the spell, I technically created a promise to be the guardian of the book. If I were to magic it away, it will return – trust me, I've tried."
"We always did have a bond, didn't we Raven," Malchior chimed in, causing the others in the room to glare at the chest that housed him.
"He was unable to talk before but now he can: I think the spell is weakening."
Robin pieced two and two together, realising that Malchior's incessant talking – and flirting – was keeping Raven up at night and causing her sleep deprivation. It would certainly explain her fatigued appearance and her lack of focus during the battle.
"Can't he be moved to a different room?" Robin suggested, although he suspected that Raven – being the intelligent girl she was – would have already tried that. He was right. She explained how she'd teleported the chest to the evidence room when she'd first heard his voice three weeks previously but the sorceress could still be heard in her head like an ethereal form of schizophrenia. Robin was surprised that she hadn't cracked before now: three weeks was a long time to be hearing unwanted voices – especially the one of the man who broke your heart.
"I'm used to voices in my head," Raven smirked sadly, referring to her emotions. It didn't make her like any easier though and she was struggling with Malchior's advances to be re-released from his paper prison.
Robin placed a comforting hand on her cloak-covered shoulder. "That doesn't mean you should put up with it," he sympathised, giving her a slight squeeze. "Are there any counter-spells you could cast?" he asked, gazing at the extensive library of mythical texts she possessed.
Malchior laughed from within the confines of the chest – a menacing chuckle that struck a chord with the two Titans. "Those books are nothing compared to the magic I control, Robin. They wouldn't even scratch the cover of this wretched place."
Robin glared at the chest, his hatred of Malchior increasing by the minute because of the mind games he was playing. Raven had been mentally tortured by him enough – but he was powerless to help her overcome the problem.
"Besides –" Malchior teased, "– Raven is used to putting up with things by now… what's one more?"
"Shut up!" Raven shouted, summoning her powers and directing them at the chest. It was futile, however, as Malchior continued to cackle in the background. Robin stared confusingly at his teammate, wondering what Malchior meant by the remark – and why she was suddenly so defensive. "I swear," she seethed, "I will find a way to permanently destroy you."
"She told me many things, Robin," Malchior said soothingly, ignoring Raven's threats and tempting the leader into a conversation. "All those years ago, she told me many secrets – many I doubt she shared with you…"
"If Raven wanted to share something with me, she would; I'm not interested in anything you have –"
"Not even that she left the team… twice."
Robin turned towards Raven, the eyes behind his mask searching her for some sign that the monster was deceiving him. Her head was downcast, her eyes trying to hide the disappointment she felt.
"Raven…"
She wasn't given the opportunity to explain herself. Malchior seemed perfectly content – delighted even – to do it for her. "We both know this beautiful creature very well, Robin, yet you let her stay holed up in this room, alone, with her thoughts about how unworthy she is."
"Don't talk about her like that," he threatened, his voice dangerously low.
"Thoughts about how a half-demon like herself could ever be seen as a hero in the eyes of the civilians she saves on a regular basis – those same civilians who cower away from her. They adore the rest of you: they want to be you, but not her."
"Raven is appreciated and admired," Robin argued, talking about her like she wasn't sat right next to him. Malchior had well and truly drawn him in. "Her being half-human has never been an issue to the dynamics of this team – in fact it's a real advantage, and she knows that." He looked at her then, his steely gaze penetrating her violet orbs to let her know just how strongly he felt about her position in the Teen Titans.
"You can tell a woman she's a goddess, but unless she believes it herself, she won't listen."
Robin was growing weary of the fact that Malchior kept reminding him of how close he got to Raven.
"So when she found me in that book, a broken bird ready to give up on the world that had given up on her long ago, I gave her the confidence she needed to blossom – something you couldn't do, Robin."
Raven began to shake, the vibrations of her body shuddering against Robin. She felt like a traitor to admit that Malchior had done that: those two weeks when he was in her life were magical. She felt light. She felt understood. She felt free. She recalled her pure white cloak glistening under the lights of the common room as she levitated an apple from the fridge, humming away as she did so. The wizard had unlocked a side of herself she'd never accessed before, and she despised him for it.
Malchior, although not being able to see the two Titans, knew he'd got under their skin – Robin's especially. "Raven was more beautiful, more powerful, more content and certainly more confident when I was part of her life."
"Until you broke her heart!"
Raven jumped at the tenacity of Robin's outburst and could do nothing but listen in stunned silence as her leader defended her, something she wasn't prepared to do for herself at this point. Hearing the two men argue about her was tiresome, considerably more-so when she was already somnolent. Her eyelids felt heavy under the cumbersome weight of insomnia and she was already drifting away from their conversation.
"You tore her in two and shattered every ounce of trust and confidence she had, you evil son-of-a-bitch, so don't you dare begin to think that you made her a better person! We do that! She does it for herself!" Robin didn't know why he was justifying himself to Malchior, which created an instant cloud of doubt that he was justifying for himself. For the first time, his eyes fell on Raven, who had drifted asleep despite his raised voice. Did the team make her happy? Did she think she was unworthy of their friendship?
It was like Malchior could read his mind. "For a team of outcast meta-humans, you're not very inclusive. Did you know that Beast Boy called her creepy? Or that Starfire constantly judged her for her introverted-nature?"
He did. He didn't condone their behaviour, but he didn't disagree. Raven could be creepy and she was certainly introverted – not negative qualities if you focused on the mystery behind the demoness. But even he couldn't deny that she was different.
"You can't tell me anything about Raven that I don't already know," Robin stated confidently, leaning on his arm and using it to shield her as she slept.
Malchior laughed, "Oh you naïve little boy, don't waste both our time trying to convince me of that. Did she tell you about me keeping her up every night? No. Did she tell you she abandoned you all? No. Did she tell you that she absorbs the pain from any injuries she heals? I'm guessing not."
Robin tried to ignore his growing feelings of jealousy. He wasn't interested in Raven romantically, so he didn't see Malchior as a challenge, but she was one of his best friends and he felt overprotective of her. While she was strong-willed, sincere and intelligent – a woman who could handle herself with grace in most situations – she was also extremely fragile. All of his friends were in their own way, but she was different. Even if she didn't tell him everything, he felt like he'd been friends with her forever.
He heard a door slam from a distance: the others must have returned from the battle with Cinderblock. Looking at Raven, peacefully sleeping for the first time in many days, he wondered if it was best to leave her where she lay and hope that Malchior didn't wake her up. His mind was quickly made up; he didn't want to leave her anywhere where the taunting soft-spoken voice could haunt her. Carefully lifting her from the bed, he began his journey to meet the others in the living area. He found them sat on the semi-circular couch where he joined them, gesturing for them to be quiet as he gently placed her at the end of it.
"Is she alright?" Beast Boy asked, his injured arm now in a make-shift sling until Raven could heal it. When Robin nodded, he continued to ask questions. "Did you find out why she was so spaced-out?" Again, Robin nodded and went on to explain that Malchior was locked in a chest in her room and about the mental torture he'd been putting her through.
"How long has this been going on?" Cyborg asked, his annoyance at Raven evaporating after hearing the excuse. Although it returned just as quickly when he heard Robin reply that she'd been keeping a secret for three weeks.
"Can the chest be relocated out of Raven's sleeping quarters?" Starfire also chimed in without thinking that Raven would have already tried that.
"She's tried; the magic is too powerful."
"What about destroying it?" Beast Boy offered, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He was transported back to when he found Raven kneeling on the floor beneath a large hole in her ceiling. He'd seen her angry, moody, happy, but never full of such sorrow. His heart broke with hers. If that bastard was back, then he deserved nothing less than to be killed.
Robin frowned sadly, recalling his previous conversation with Malchior in Raven's room.
"I don't think she wants to."
Beast Boy growled, retaliating against the ridiculous thought of Raven willingly keeping that arsehole near her.
"Think about it: he was her first love and he hurt her – badly. She'd want to keep him close so she knows where he is and because, no matter how much she'd deny it, she misses him."
Cyborg – like Beast Boy – dismissed Robin's claims. Starfire could understand his logic but couldn't empathise with it. Beast Boy, having had his own experience with deception, courtesy of Terra, could relate. The blond-haired ex-heroine had used him to gain access to the Titans' deepest secrets and given them to Slade, yet when he thought of her, that memory wasn't the first to appear: their night on the Big Wheel; redecorating her room and seeing her face light up when she saw it for the first time; being mesmerised by the power she possessed over earth. Those were the memories that made him smile. Perhaps Raven felt the same way?
From the sofa, they heard Raven stirring awake and walked over to greet her. Her violet orbs opened, seeking out the changeling first. She quickly sat up, summoning her healing power and placing her hands on the cast. In the distance, Robin's eyes narrowed as he remembered what Malchior had said about her absorbing pain when she healed somebody. Unaware of Robin's fixated stare, she sadly stared into Beast Boy's emerald eyes, hoping he could see how apologetic she was for causing his injury. He simply nodded at her in acceptance, and sighed in relief as the dull ache in his arm began to ease. She let go and slumped back on the sofa where the rest of the team joined her.
"We're sorry that the Malchior is causing you distress," Starfire said sympathetically. Raven knew Robin would tell them about her predicament. She wasn't angry with him for it, and she let him know that through their bond. "Is there anything we can do to assist?"
"I can handle it, but thank you," Raven added in a softer tone when she saw Starfire react to her abruptness. In her head, she heard Malchior laughing. Only Robin noticed her change in demeanor.
Beast Boy rolled his eyes sarcastically, "Sure – today proved it." Raven glared at him before looking down ashamedly.
Cyborg stepped in to save the demoness from any further embarrassment. "What B meant to say is that you've obviously coped for too long and now you need to stop being stubborn and let us help." His big-brotherly tone was wise beyond his twenty years of age and instantly made Raven feel like her situation had a solution. She looked up and gratefully smiled at the half-robot, trying her best to ignore Malchior.
"I appreciate your support, but there's nothing you can do," she said negatively. "If my magic can't stop him, I'm not sure what can."
'Nothing can,' Malchior hissed.
"What's he saying?" Robin asked, tired of ignoring her slight twitching whenever the sorcerer's voice spoke.
"Nothing can stop him," she sighed, massaging her head.
"Cy could sound proof the chest?" the leader suggested, interrupting Raven before she could protest. "You've tried with magic, not technology."
She considered it, wondering whether the medieval magic could be stumped by twenty-first century technological advances. She looked up at Cyborg, wordlessly asking him to try. He grinned, his hand going into his forearm and being replaced by an electronic drill. He gestured for her to follow him, but Robin shook his head. She'd been harassed enough for one day and he didn't want her in the room if it didn't work. The half-robot left them, determined to silence the sorcerer. Beast Boy followed him after giving Raven an encouraging thumbs up; she returned his gesture with a small smile. Annoying as he was, he was one of the most empathetic caring men she'd had the pleasure of befriending.
"I will make the pudding of happiness to refill your cheers, Raven!" Starfire said with delight before Robin could stop her. She flew out of the living area, giggling joyfully. Her glee wasn't contagious, however, as the recipient of said concoction had visibly paled at the thought of politely having to ingest the Tamarian delicacy. Robin looked just as displeased as her – if not more so. He slumped down on the sofa next to her, giving her enough space so she was comfortable. They embraced the sweet silence in the common room, neither one speaking, only subtle breaths escaping their nostrils. Robin knew she was still battling his voice as her breath would hitch every so often.
"You left?" he asked quietly, afraid to hear her answer but hoping to distract her from the voice.
She could have denied it and pretended that Malchior was deceiving him, but she couldn't lie. She could have explained herself, but she had no explanation. She could have apolgised for ever abandoning her teammates, but she wasn't sorry - not at the time. Months of listening to their laughing, misunderstanding their jokes, envying their nonchalance left her wondering what her role was on the team. The creepy one. The depressed one. The boring one. Every time she was feeling particularly down, she thought about leaving; it was only twice that she actually did. During the night - both times - she'd teleported far away from the tower, leaving them asleep and naive of her whereabouts. She'd left delicately hand-written messages each time explaining her absence, and both times she returned hours later to find the letters in the exact place she'd left them. Raven didn't know whether to be comforted by the fact they hadn't been read or crestfallen that they didn't notice she'd gone.
Raven chose not to answer and leave the past in the past. She was different now: stronger in spirit and character. Running away had solved none of her problems or soothed any ill-feelings she harboured. She saw no reason to worry Robin now. She was going no where.
Robin knew her silence meant 'yes'; he also knew it meant she wouldn't talk about it. In some ways, he'd rather not know why.
After a few minutes, just as he was beginning to get restless, he knew Cyborg's efforts had worked: Raven suddenly jerked as if she'd noticed something. She breathed a deep sigh of relief, grabbing a cushion and holding it tightly to her chest, her head lowering. He looked on in concern as her eyes began to swim with unshed tears. He realised it wasn't a sigh of relief at all.
"I miss him..."