Penname: CarminMoon

Rating: M

Pairing: Emmett & Jasper

Title: My Smokey Mountain Home

A/N: First, huge thanks to MsKathy for putting all this craziness together for a truly wonderful cause. Second, thanks to all my wonderful Betas/pre-readers on this one…MaleficentKnits, AzureEyedI, Naelany, and Lulubelle, y'all are my hot bitches and I lurves you. Third, this is based on the Garth Brooks' song "This Ain't Tennessee" any recognizable lines/references belong to him, just as the characters belong to SM.

ENJOY!!

I boarded the plane with a heavy heart. Heavy with pain, but heavy with hope.

I could still see her face as she stood in the driveway, the wrought iron gates closing behind me like the pages of a book. I saw a broken woman, a woman who wanted nothing more than the American Dream. The perfect husband, 2.4 kids, a dog, the perfect house, the best friends. I thought I could overcome that part of me, the part that rebelled at what she wanted. I was so wrong.

I tried, God knows I tried so hard for her; I learned my part, played the doting husband. I golfed with the fellas, ate those horrible hors d'oeuvres that passed for food. But it wasn't enough. I hurt her every day; every time she touched me all I could see were the eyes that matched the gray-blue hue of the Smokey Mountains surrounding my home.

I knew she loved me with all she possessed, but I also knew she saw through me.

"Am I ever going to get all of you? Are you ever going to see just me?" Her voice pleaded with me as the surf crashed behind her.

I didn't have the courage to look her in the eyes right now. I stared at the swaying palm trees in our backyard and wished they were hickory trees for the millionth time.

"I am so sorry beautiful, I'll try harder. I promise." As if I didn't try hard enough to forget the one thing that I wanted with all my being.

She scoffed to cover the tears that were beginning to spill from her eyes.

"Maybe you should just go. I can't be the person to make you happy. I know you've tried. But maybe this is for the best. Before things get more complicated."

Now it was my turn to scoff. I knew what she meant. We'd been trying to get pregnant for a few months now, it was all that she wanted.

What I wanted was in Tennessee.

"Just go. Go before I change my mind and be the selfish bitch that keeps you here and miserable for the rest of your life." Her face crumpled with her words, but the conviction that laced them told me I should jump at the chance. "I won't give you another chance. Go. Now."

I rose from my chair, walked to where she was seated and kissed her forehead, then whispered, "I'm sorry, Rosalie. So sorry."

I settled into my seat, prepared for the long flight and the possibility of rejection at the other end of it. I had no idea of the reception I would receive in Tennessee; if I had anything to go back to, or if I had just given up a small chance to be the almost perfect husband to a wonderful woman.

I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I met the person who would change my life, haunt my dreams, and open my mind to another choice, though I didn't know it at the time.

I walked into my Econ class, Junior year, and scoped out a seat in the back. No need to be a brown-noser and sit up front, I thought to myself. I chose the second to last row and stepped in, flopping down into a seat halfway down the row.

I was early for class, so I took my time setting up my laptop, taking notes by hand was just a pain in the ass.

I was so absorbed in my own thoughts I didn't hear the footsteps approaching my seat.

"This seat taken, man?" said a gravelly voice to my right.

I looked up into the face of a guy with chin length sandy blond hair and the oddest colored gray-blue eyes I had ever seen. I was immediately reminded of the color of the Smokies, the way the fog and the light turns them that exact shade, and I suddenly missed my home.

"Nah, have at it," I replied, "Name's Emmett." I held out my hand for him to shake. He accepted it without hesitation, his hand clasped mine and I felt the calluses on his hand. They spoke of hard work and long hours.

"Jasper. Nice to meet you, Emmett." He gave me a small smile and settled himself in for the three hour class.

After that we became fast friends. We found that we grew up less than forty-five miles apart, that we shared a love of horses, cold beer, pizza, and football. We hung out constantly; I was majoring in Business, he was in Mathematics, and we actually shared three classes that semester.

Two years later we graduated with honors and decided to move to Nashville. We both had jobs lined up and made the move with the world laid out at our feet.

Jasper had never dated much in college and I really didn't think much about it. I was a consummate playboy, not in the cold-hearted fashion, just in the 'I don't do relationships' fashion. I dated quite a bit, but refused to be tied down.

After we moved I met Rosalie, and shortly thereafter Jasper met and started dating a girl named Alice. We all got on well and became thicker than thieves.

After six months Alice and Jasper called it quits. I didn't know all the details, but it was apparently amicable. The four of us still hung out occasionally, and Rose and Alice were still the best of friends. I noticed that Jasper seemed distraught for a month or so, but then moved on with his life. Or so I thought.

Rosalie was the first one to bring up the question of marriage. We had been dating for almost a year, and she had hinted around at it a few times. I had thought about our future together numerous times. I had a good feeling that I could gladly grow old with the beautiful girl I had come to know. I loved her, and I really wanted to make her happy.

I went to my sounding board and asked him what he thought of my proposing to Rose. At first he seemed pissed, clenching his fists and glaring at me, which I couldn't comprehend. Why would he be mad about that? But then I remembered how much Alice had talked about her dream wedding one night and wondered if it was part of the reason they broke up.

After his initial anger he calmed down and asked me if I was sure, if I loved her, if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. All the questions I had already asked myself. I pondered them again as he sat waiting for my answers. His expression changed so many times in those few minutes and I found my mind asking new questions.

Why was Jasper so mad; why did he question my feelings for Rose? And most importantly why weren't the first words out of his mouth 'congratulations you lucky bastard'?

We must've sat there for ten minutes lost in our own little worlds. He finally broke the silence by simply saying, 'still thinking?' and then left the room.

I called Rose and told her I wasn't feeling well, then shut myself in my room.

A light knock roused me from my nap, and at first I thought about pretending to still be asleep, but realized it wasn't fair to the person on the other side of the door.

"Come in, Jas." His blond head peered around my door, looking almost as bad as I felt. Lying here for the past six hours running over everything in my head had brought me no answers. I was still confused as hell. I did love Rose, didn't I? We were great together, we liked cars and football, we enjoyed each other's company, the sex was amazing. So how did Jasper asking me three little questions bring all of my conclusions to a full stop?

"Em, I'm sorry. I had no right to question--" I stopped him with a hand.

"Jasper, do you see something I don't?" My words made his face explode with emotion. There was love and hate and sorrow.

"Emmett, I…oh, God, I don't know. I have wanted to tell you for so long." He was slamming his hands through his hair at twice his usual pace, obviously a nervous wreck.

"Tell me what? Did Rose cheat on me?" It was the only answer I could come up with to his words. He looked even more pained at my query.

"No. It's got nothing to do with Rose, it's me." His voice was barely a whisper now, and I had to strain to hear him.

He sat down in my desk chair and put his head in his hands, sighing like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Jasper, we've always been able to talk to one another, tell me, man. I am here, and I am listening." I'd never seen him so overwrought, he was working himself into a panic, his breathing was loud and palpable.

"Emmett, I'm gay." Again with the whisper I could barely hear, but the words struck me to my soul. Two words that I would never have expected to come from those lips, and they only started another round of questions firing through

my already distressed brain.

I sat up on the edge of the bed, and my movement caused him to look up from his hands. His eyes were rimmed in red and looked so sad; I didn't know what to say for a moment.

"I shouldn't have told you," escaped from his mouth and before I could say anything he jumped out of the chair to leave the room.

"Jasper! Wait." I shouted at him and he turned, "What does that mean? Why shouldn't you have told me and what does that have to do with me proposing to Rose?" My bright blues eyes met his smoky gray-blues and I immediately knew the answer. Jasper loved me. Jasper. Loved. Me.

"I'm sorry, Em. I didn't mean to--" Once again I held up my hand to stop the words falling from his mouth.

"How long?" His eyes surged with pain and longing before he answered me.

"Since Alice." His gaze never left mine and it was a bit unnerving.

"Alice? You mean you weren't gay before that?" My thoughts were racing a mile a minute, unable to settle on one coherent tangent.

He released a heavy sigh and finally tore his stare from me, focusing instead on his own shoes.

"I was gay long before that, Emmett. I just didn't want to admit it. But I thought you were asking how long I'd been, well, interested in you." I suddenly wished there was a mirror on his shoes so I could see his face.

"Since Alice, huh? Not before that?" Why the time frame even mattered to me at the moment was beyond me, I just didn't want him to stop talking.

"Well, I mean…Goddammit, Emmett." He huffed again and slowly returned his eyes to mine. "I didn't realize how much you meant to me until you started dating Rosalie, and then I met Alice and I hoped I could just make things change for me. Change, so I wouldn't have to admit that I loved a man who could never love me back. Change, so I wouldn't have to explain things to my parents, that I'd never give them the grandkids they'd want. Change, so that I could keep you in my life no matter what, even if it was only as my best friend."

I stood there shocked, speechless, and wondering how I never noticed he was gay. I mean he obviously wasn't a flamer; he was all man, at least in my eyes.

"Jas, man, I don't know what to say. I never knew. You never said anything--" His hand stopped me now, but it was against my mouth, not just in the air.

"I understand, Emmett. Really, I do. You don't have to say anything to me; I'll get my things and move out. Just know that I'm sorry it came out this way." He moved his warm hand from my lips and turned on his heel to go, but I couldn't allow that.

I grasped his bicep, turning him back to me, "You don't have to leave, Jasper. I can't allow you to do that. I still want to be your friend. Your best friend." He gave me a small smile and nodded his head before he left the room.

I was an idiot to think that things wouldn't change between us. There was a constant air of tension in the apartment. We both tried to ignore the gorilla on the tricycle that rode back and forth between us, but it was no use. He didn't feel comfortable anymore and I didn't know how to give him back that sense of belonging. He decided to move out after a month of our stalemate.

I proposed to Rosalie a week later. I was still running those questions in my mind like a broken record, but I convinced myself that I was in love with her and that we would be happy together.

I was ecstatic when Rose told me she wanted to go to Vegas instead of having the elaborate wedding her parents wanted her to have. It also meant that I didn't have to ask my best friend, who was in love with me, to be my best man.

I called Jasper up to ask him out for drinks and explain to him about the wedding plans and that Rose wanted to move out to California. She got a job offer out there and her parents would be giving us the deed to their summer home on the beach. He invited me over to his apartment for football and beer and I hoped that the evening would go well.

Jasper had pizza and beer waiting for me when I arrived. We sat down and watched the first half of the game finishing off the pizza before the end of the first quarter. I had decided to wait until half-time to spring the news on him, and I figured he already knew part of what was coming. It was the moving part that hurt me to tell him, and I knew I was going to be emo enough about the whole thing, so I stupidly asked him if he had any Jack in the house. He looked at me like I grew another head but went to the cabinet in the kitchen to retrieve a brand new fifth of JD. He poured us both a shot of liquid courage and we saluted one another before downing it.

"What's goin' on, Em?" He poured another shot and handed it to me before pouring one of his own.

" I asked Rose, and she said yes." I held my breath, watching his face for his reaction. He showed no emotion.

"Good for you, man. But there's more, I can see it in your eyes." He knew me too well; we'd been too close for too long for him not to see my apprehension.

"Yeah, she got a job. In California." I slammed back my shot; he took the opportunity to slam his as well.

"So, this means you're leaving? What about your job?" He poured another two shots.

"They have a branch in Cali, I'm transferring." The shots went down like water.

He poured two more, the bottle was disappearing quickly and I was already in no shape to drive. But I didn't hesitate to knock back that one and quickly followed it up with two more, to his four, during the rest of the half-time show.

Neither one of us spoke during the slam dunk binge that seemed to hold us prisoner. I hadn't drunk this much in God knows how long and it didn't take but a few minutes for me to feel all sloshy. I was staring at the tv screen watching the game resume, but not really seeing it. I never saw him get out of his chair, or leave the room, but when he returned I noticed him. Christ, did I notice. He'd changed clothes, wearing a ratty old pair of sweats and nothing else. Instead of resuming his seat in the recliner, he sat himself down on the floor in front of me. I watched as he knelt between my legs, running his hands up my calves and over my thighs. I felt my cock harden at the intimate gesture, completely ignoring the fact that it wasn't the person who normally made me react this way.

Jasper's eyes met mine in a silent plea, I didn't move. Part of me didn't want to, but part of me screamed to bolt out the door and run for the hills. His hands continued their exploration when I didn't respond; he was giving me every chance in the world to say no, and I still couldn't form the words.

His hands roamed higher until they grazed over the bulge in my pants, I sucked in a breath at the sensation, unsure of what to do. His eyes stayed locked to mine as I felt him pop the button on my jeans and slowly pull down the zipper. When he had my jeans completely undone he ran his hands up to my waist and grabbed the belt loops on my sides. "Please." He whispered up at me and I felt my hips raise off the couch as he gently pulled the denim down and over my knees. My stiff dick was standing proud by now, and I could feel the cool air hitting my sensitive skin, as I was now naked having gone commando tonight.

Jasper's hands were warm and they caressed my skin lovingly; his eyes, still connected to mine, were darker now bordering on black in the low light. His callused hand softly touched my head and I let a small hiss through my teeth. I had never been so sensitive before, it was as though my skin were on fire at his every touch. I felt like I should be touching him too, but my hands were frozen at my sides.

Without hesitation he leaned forward and enveloped me with his hot mouth; I gasped as he ran his tongue under the head, and then pushed himself further down my length. I was beyond coherent thought at this point and I knew somewhere deep down inside it was wrong for me to let him do this, but the feelings he was pulling out of me with each stroke kept me silent. I saw his hand reach under me and tensed a little before I realized he was only stroking my balls. I was enthralled at the way he was working me over, his mouth and his hand working in tandem were amazing. I was quickly losing my control and I started to gently thrust up into his mouth, eliciting a moan from him that echoed down into my bones. I never wanted him to stop, but he did.

I groaned at the loss of contact when he stood. He quietly reached his hands into his pockets, searing me with a steady gaze. "Em, I want you. I want you to take me, I want you inside of me. Please, please, say yes." I swallowed deeply, then inhaled, thinking. "I know you don't feel for me the way I do for you, but please, give me this one thing before you leave me." I couldn't find the words to say yes, or no. I did the one thing I could do at that moment. I toed my shoes off then used my feet to remove the jeans pooled around them and stood. I pulled his hand out of his pocket, revealing a condom in his fist; I took the condom and laced my fingers through his pulling him to the bedroom without a word.

I gave Jasper what he wanted that night, and somewhere during the second time I came to the astounding realization that I was making love to him. I wasn't fucking him; I wasn't just finding a release as I had with so many women in the past. I was truly putting my entire being into pleasuring the person in the bed with me. I had never felt that all encompassing love that people talk about. I had never wanted to be everything to someone and have them want the same of me in return. Not even with Rose. But lying there afterwards with a lightly snoring Jasper next to me I knew I couldn't back out on her now. We were flying to Vegas in two days.

I quietly dressed in the early morning light and left a part of me behind.

I lied to myself for sixteen months. I felt lower than a snake in the grass for stringing Rosalie along, and every day my heart broke more. It broke for her, it broke for me, but most of all it broke for Jasper. After that night he wouldn't return my calls, my emails went unanswered. The only reasonI knew he was still alive was Alice. She kept in touch with Rose and I asked her if she had heard from him every time she called. Over the months she told me he had moved back home into his parents cabin while they were on a two year trip. I had been there a couple of times during college and I was sure I could find it again.

The plane touched down pulling me from my reverie. I disembarked, found my luggage, and made my way to the car rental counter as fast as I possibly could. Now that I was here I could almost feel him, though I knew he was still over an hour away.

He had perched himself out on a limb for me all those months ago, and I was an ass for letting him do it, and a bigger ass for leaving him afterward. It was my turn to step to the edge of the cliff and see if he would be there to catch me.

The drive through the mountains helped to relieve my anxiety a little. It was early fall and the leaves were just starting to turn on the trees, creating a riot of golds and greens, and the vibrant red of the sugar maples were brighter than I remembered. The twists and turns of the road preoccupied my mind well enough that I didn't notice the passing of time. I had made it to the foot of his driveway without incident and all my anxiousness returned full force as I stared at the mailbox labeled "Whitlock."

I hadn't called him to tell him I was on my way, I hadn't even spoken to him since that night and I prayed to every God there ever was that he would let me in, that he wouldn't tell me to fuck off. With those prayers fervently leaving my lips I turned into the driveway and started up the hill.

The log cabin came into view around the last bend and I held my breath waiting to see if his car was there. I released it as I saw the dark green Barracuda sitting in the garage. I looked up from the car and saw him step out onto the front porch.

He was glorious; his sandy blonde curls blowing in the mountain breeze, the black t-shirt accentuating his muscular chest where his arms were crossed. I took a moment to ground myself, and with a deep breath I stepped out of the car.

When I raised my face to look at him again he had moved, he was now at the bottom of the stairs, his handsome features awash with emotion. There was anger there, and under it was curiosity and sadness. I wanted to take all that away and replace it with love, ecstasy, just like that night so long ago.

"Emmett? What are you doing here?" His voice was accusatory, and still I was overjoyed to hear the gravelly rasp that fell from his lips.

"I am here for you, Jasper." I had practiced this big spiel in my head on the plane and now that I was here it was all gone from my mind. All I could see was him, and all I wanted to do was sweep him into my arms.

"What does your wife think about that?" I deserved that, and I knew he would probably bring her up, but it was inevitable.

"Considering she is no longer my wife, I don't really think that it matters." His face was shocked at my words. They weren't harsh, just matter of fact, and his curiosity tripled.

"What happened, Em?" I noticed how his jeans clung to his hips just the right way, and that he was barefoot. He was walking sex and I wanted to touch him so badly.

"You did, Jas." He moved a few feet away from the steps and slammed his hands through his hair in frustration, turning away from me.

"I'm sorry, I never should have said or done what I did Emmett. I was such a fool, and I was just being selfish--" I crossed the yard as he started his rant, unable to be so far away from him any longer, and grabbed him by the shoulders, turning him back around.

"Jasper," I had both of my hands on his face instantly. His light stubble was rough against my hands and I briefly remembered how it felt scratching along my thighs. "I'm the fool. And more than that, I'm an ass. I should never have left that morning without talking to you. I was scared, and I didn't understand what I was feeling. I have regretted that every day for the past sixteen months. I am so sorry; I need your forgiveness and your understanding."

"Are you saying what I think you are saying Emmett?" His handsome face contorted with disbelief.

"If you're thinking that I am saying I want a chance to be with you, then yes, that's what I'm saying." I stepped closer to him, only inches away from his warm body now and waited for his answer.

"For how long?" He whispered.

"For however long you want me, Jasper. I have thought about you every single day, I wondered what you were doing, how your day was, if you thought about me--" My words were cut short as he pulled me into him and he covered my mouth with his in a tender kiss.

"Yes, I thought of you everyday." He said as he broke away, "Yes, I understand that you were confused. Yes, I forgive you. And Yes, you are an ass, but I still want you."

It was my turn to press my lips to his. I was gentle, testing the waters, letting my mind wrap around the fact that I was finally kissing Jasper, that I was practically holding him in my arms. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist, pushing our bodies even closer together. We fit together like pieces of a puzzle, and I couldn't help but deepen the kiss, softly pressing my tongue against his lips, hoping he would let me in. When his lips parted to allow my exploration I heard a soft moan come from deep in his body and I responded in kind. Our tongues tasted and touched for what felt like hours before we had to come up for air. When we did, Jasper graced me with a genuine smile and I rested my forehead against his. I was in Tennessee, in my lover's arms and I felt more complete than I had in ages.

I was about to kiss him again just because I could, but he pulled back. I was worried by his sudden movement but all my fears were swept away by the crisp fall air and his Smoky Mountain eyes when he said, "Welcome Home, Em."

I was finally home.

A/N Soooooo, I popped my slash cherry with this one...I know there was no major shmexin' but I was nervous about this one.

Leave me some love??