(A/N: Hello peeps! Yes I know I'm starting a new story and I probably shouldn't be but oh well. I've gone insane from not writing! Lol…anyways enjoy my new story!)
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or any of its characters!
Chapter 1: Everything is Not fine
Feathers…there were feathers everywhere. There was so many of them that I couldn't see anything else. I could feel their softness over my cheeks and arms and it's not until I reach out to touch one that something else dawns in my consciousness. My arm was tied down. Well that's funny…why would my arm be tied down? It's when I try to untie one arm that I realize my other arm is tied as well.
Suddenly, a tension around my legs and neck appear in my consciousness and I begin to panic. What was going on? I couldn't even turn my head for there was something pressed against both of my temples.
The feathers start to clear at this point and I wish they hadn't. From what I could see, beeping machines were everywhere and tubes seem to be protruding from each of them with their ends leading to me. I try to talk but my throat felt rough, so instead I do what any normal person would do who's confused and trapped. I struggle.
"Oh she's awake. Let's get this over with so we can get back to business." A male voice says from my right side. I strain to see who it was but the container my head was in didn't budge. Shouts erupt from where the first voice came from and my mind gets jolted by something…a memory? No…I've never heard this voice before…have I?
"No! Don't take her! No!" The male voice shouted and it filled me with such anguish that tears started forming and I wish with all my being that I could call out to him to tell him…to tell him…a prick in my neck sends pain down my body as I feel my consciousness slowly draw back into the blackness.
I groggily open my eyes and peer around to where an annoying buzzing sound is emitting. It was my alarm clock and it was doing its job, but I still loathed the device and its signaling to another wretched day.
My hand flies out and knocks it to the ground but the buzzing persisted. Fuck my life…my mind thinks as I drag myself out from under the numerous comforters and blankets I had piled up, and reach down to hit the off button. The cold air of winter hits me and I wish for the millionth time that my parents would stop being frugal and invest in a heating system. It's a fucking heating system! People need to stay warm damnit! Especially in Utah where six months out of the year there's snow or something close to it in temperature.
Hastily, I get dressed in normal blue jeans and t-shirt with a heavy sweater thrown over it. Allen didn't like bright colors or new styles so all the clothes I wore to school were neutral colors and bland, normal clothes. Nothing exciting.
I sigh as that last statement settles into my mind. No…nothing was ever exciting around here, especially since I got with Allen. He's just worried and over protective all the time. I wish he'd realize that I'm not a china doll and that I do have feelings and won't break with one touch.
"Hitomi! Wake up class is going to start in 10 minutes!" My roommate Yukari yells from the bathroom. I bolt up from my depressed thoughts and rush around the room grabbing my school bag and books for the classes I have today. Shoving previous thoughts from my head, I knock on the bathroom door and yell that I'm going to the cafeteria and then right to class and that I'll see her this afternoon.
I run down the hall and burst into the cafeteria short of breath and silently wish I don't run into Allen. The lunch line was short and I grab a banana and apple quickly, but right when I reach the door a voice sounds behind me, "Hitomi! Over here sweety!" Oh my god…Allen…I retain a sigh as I plaster a smile on my face and turn to greet my wonderfully over bearing boyfriend.
He runs at me but stops right before reaching me to tenderly take me into his arms and hug me. Sometimes I wish he'd actually bulldoze me over and knock me to the ground in his excitement to hug me. Sometimes…I wish he'd actually show me how much he says he loves me.
Yes I know I'm being picky and that I should be happy that he's so tender because that's a rarity among men from what I've heard but I just want something different. I want someone who shows raw love to me; someone who will just grab me on a whim and kiss me hard and passionately.
Allen lets me go and smiles at me in a friendly manner. He really doesn't love me like he says he does. I'm not sure why he stays with me living this lie but I'm getting tired of it. I'm getting tired of this small town, of this small school, of this no love relationship, of everything.
I turn around and mutter over my shoulder that I have to get to class before hurrying out the door. The problem with my actions was that Allen didn't find anything wrong with them. He wouldn't come running after me to see what was wrong. He would leave me be and be his same friendly self the next time I saw him.
Classes weren't anything exciting. I still wasn't sure what I was majoring in which was an ever constant thought in my already thought filled head and it got worse after each passing semester. Soon my generals would be done and I was supposed to know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
The end of the day brought relief in the sense that I would be going to sleep soon and wouldn't have to think about my life. Yes I know I sound emo but really, I'm just not going anywhere in my life. My life has no purpose to me and it isn't going anywhere in my opinion. I've been with Allen since the beginning of high school, five years ago and nothing has happened except for my life plummeting in the excitement department.
Getting into bed brought a sigh of contentment from me and I happily snuggled into the blankets until I closed my eyes. Feathers flashed through my mind and I instantly shot up as my last nights dream comes back to me full force. That was a weird ass dream Hitomi. Maybe stay away from the violent movies from now on. I reason with myself as I snuggle into the pillow again and close my eyes.
"Don't take her!" A voice screams and I shoot up shaking violently. I knew that voice. Where had I hear it before? I feel my eyes hurt as tears well up. Where was all this anguish coming from Hitomi? I ask myself as I furiously wipe my face. I was against crying ever since Allen saw me crying one day and made fun of me.
"You have nothing to cry about Hitomi." He had said looking incredulous. Sure, nothing to cry about. It was just my 16 year old dog had died. The dog that I had grown up with my entire fucking life. But I listened to him. I was young and naïve and didn't want to lose him. Having a boyfriend meant everything to me in high school and even through my freshman year of college, but now…it was different. I don't know what had changed inside me for me to look at everything in my life so differently but it's happened and now I'm miserable.
I try to think of where I'd heard the voice before again but drew up a blank. Frustrated, I hop out of bed and go into the kitchen to raid the fridge I shared with Yukari and Millerna. They had been my best friends through elementary school on up to now but even they didn't seem to find anything wrong with how Allen treated me. In fact, they drooled over him more then I ever had and he's my boyfriend! So many things didn't seem to make sense in my life.
Expelling another defeated sigh I opt for left over pizza and throw it into the microwave. I let my mind wonder as I absentmindedly watch the pizza turn in a slow circle. Flashes of feathers flitted across my mind whenever I closed my eyes but the shouting was gone. Just feathers…
The beeping of the microwave jolts me back to reality, and I again feel disoriented and anguished. Groaning, I bend over rubbing my forehead on the counter muttering quietly, "Fuck…my….life."
"Van, it is time for your appointment again." The man says from my doorway and I lift my head slowly from the pillow. Yes, it was time for my appointment. Yes…
"Ok." I say blandly as I slowly get up from my mattress and follow the man down the hall to the examination room. Time for another appointment…yes…another appointment. My mind thinks over and over again.
The man enters the room and I follow closely behind already knowing what is to be done. This happened every other lighting time and I was used to the procedure. I had always been used to the procedure. At least, that's what they tell me. They tell me I've lived here my entire life, but it's been so long that it's normal for my mind to retain only the past eleven or so years; that my childhood was just too far in the past for my mind to remember. They say this and I believe them. I believe them because they say this.
I sit on the long, white bench with my legs straddling either side and wait for them to continue. They check my pulse and draw a blood sample, and check my ears and eyes. I don't even flinch when they start putting in the needles. It was part of the procedure. Everyone had procedures they said, but we weren't supposed to talk to each other about our procedures. They were personal just to us. This was fine because they said so. They said this so it's fine.
Merle and Dilandau are fine and so is Folken. They are all fine and I am fine.
"Now Van, produce your wings please." The man says in a nice tone. He is a nice man and I do what he says. I vaguely feel him pulling and prodding my wings, and pricking them with different needles but it is fine. Everything is fine.
Soon, I am done and they let me go. I thank them and leave the room, walking further down the hall to the eating room where Merle, Dilandau, and Folken are already eating. They greet me and I greet them before going to the eating line and picking out some food. Today's special was broccoli with cheese melted over it. The food was always good.
I scoop some broccoli onto my white plate and head back to the table. There was only one table but that was fine. There were enough chairs for all four of us and so this was fine.
We talked about the food and about how Merle moved her bed to the other side of her room. This was big news for such a change is exciting. She says her room looks completely different now and she's a little scared to go in to it again. I tell her that I'll come with her and we will move the bed back if she wants. She said she'd like that a lot and so she and I say goodbye to Dilandau and Folken and head to her room
Merle's room was smaller then my room but she was a smaller being than I was so this was fine. Her room did look really different with her bed moved and so we moved it back to its original place. She was happy about this and I left her in a good mood.
"Darkness in five minutes. Darkness in five minutes." Said the man and I walk a little faster to make it to my room in time. When darkness hits, it's impossible to see in the hallways but we are still allowed to turn on our lamps if we wish to stay up later.
Right when I reach my door the lights up and down the hallway shut off simultaneously and blackness surrounds me. But this is fine but it's the natural way of life. The darkness comes for so much time before the lighting takes its place.
I didn't feel like staying up so I fold up my clothes neatly at the foot of my bed and cover my now naked skin with the sheet that is provided to us from the man. The man is very nice because he gives us a sheet. Without the sheet we would be cold with no clothes on. He is nice and everything is fine.
(A/N: Soooo what did you guys think? There will be more action in the second chapter but this was just an intro chapter. Please review and let me know what you guys think so far! Thanks :D)