Hey guys just a random fic I thought up halfway asleep I have put some unorthodox couples together for the fun of it just give it a try hope you enjoy it I am a big fan of the Naruto series! Some bits will be comedic some bits will be serious I really hope you enjoy please give me reviews I like to implement at least some of my readers idea' me if you want me to continue. Please Please Please review:D
Rated T for a little swearing and sexiness though anything with Gaara and Sasuke and Naruto in Shippuden in should be rated T ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters
Things you should know before you read its a bit like clues for the plot so you can try figure out their secrets:
It is set based on Sasuke returning to the Village. But he has a secret he is not even aware of. And has been back at the leaf village for 6 months.
Shikamaru is determined to be a better leader but will he be able to focus on that after he discovers something. Meanwhile Choji is thinking about other aspects of his life...
Ino has been nicer to her team after they nearly perished on their hunt for Sasuke but her and the other village girls have their own problems.
Does Lady Hokage have her own secret?
Two of the sand siblings try to protect the third who is completely oblivious and has been experimenting not with their power though...
Lee is forced to get a job a very perculiar job as he misinterprets Guy Sensei, who is trying to seduce the woman he thinks has caught Kakashi's eye.
Kakashi is beginning to think he is getting pervy than Jeriah can someone finally see his face to answer Sakura,Sasuke and Naruto's question does he have buck teeth or fish lips? And Jeriah is contemplating a terrible thought...
Who does Sakura really like?
Kiba has got a taste for older women but could this lead to heartbreak? Akamaru meets a doggy celebrity!
And Naruto... well he just wonders why everyone is acting strangely he isn't smart enough to understand the idea of secrets. (love naruto he is just so easy to make the plot lighter:D)
Chapter 1: Accidents and Shocks! What the hell happened to our normal day!
Shikamaru's POV
"Hey c'mon Choji you haven't got time for snacks today we have to get to that old friend of Forehead's (sakura) before sundown!" Ino nagged at Choji trying to sound stern but completely failing. I had noticed she nagged less about Choji losing weight ever since the red pill incident and suprisingly nagged me less too.
I would be grateful if it were not for the fact she had been acting even odder over the past few months ever since Sasuke had come back. I can't quite put my finger on it but there was something wrong there thats all her and Sakura used to babble about. Now however she was all too quick to drop the fight with Sakura. Women so troublesome.
"Aw Ino quit nagging me about food would ya! Shikamaru my feet are killing me can we take a break already? Pleaseeeee." Choji begged.
"Sure," I replied jumping into the tree for refuge scanning the perimeter.
Uh- oh Ino looked mad here we go woman moment. "WHATTTTTT!" Ino screeched, "The minute Choji wants to take a break for food we stop but when i wanted an extra 5 minutes with my hair it was noooooo Ino we have to be as fast as possible Ino! We have miles to go yet we can't rest! Favouritism much you lazy sexist pig! this is you *mimics shikamaru's voice* you women are so troublesome why aren't you clouds!"
"Ino." I said calmly. "It isn't favouritism we are simply at the border's of the leaf village it will be a long walk till we get to the Land of Rice which according to Naruto has all sorts of rouge ninja's we cant risk stopping once we leave our borders."
"oh.. um...Hmph," she jumped off behind some trees. Women another one of their many troublesome traits they just couldn't admit when they were wrong. He sighed staring at the cloud's Ino had a point why couldn't women be more like clouds?
Choji looked up at me munching his favourites barbecue crisps with a grin on his face. Maybe I should go after Ino I didn't miss that saddened look on her face as she went off maybe me and Choji did understand each other better but as a team leader I could not make a team member feel left out and Ino had been worrying me lately. "Choji keep your guard up I'm going to go find Ino."
"Sure thing boss!" Choji returned to munching away as i leapt through the trees. When I found her at last she hadn't heard me approaching then I saw it. A single tear was running down the side of her face I dropped down silently next to her, in all our years having known each other I had never seen her cry.
"What's up In..," I never gota chance to finish that sentence because she turned her all to close face round startled as I leant forward... Our lips met in the middle it was like soft feathers dancing on my lips, watching the clouds as the sunset before I knew what I was doing I clasped her cheeks and gently pushed her into the trunk of the tree. Ino for her part held me and started to kiss back my hands slid to her waist.
Just then a voice cried out, "Shikamaru we got company!" I was like a bucket of ice had been chucked on me and Ino we jumped apart and exchanged a shocked wide eyed look. I scrambled to my feet and jumped through the trees to Choji, I landed to Choji's right and Ino to my right.
Six ninja faced us their headbands glinting in the last of the suns rays, Sound ninja. Great. "Formation ShikaInoCho," I called as we flung ourselves into battle.
Elsewhere... Gaara POV
The sun was still high when we had left the village of the sand to help the Hokage for a month keep the peace as part of an exchange programme. I watched as two birds nestled into each other and a couple walked by red faced and holding hands. Okay so I got the whole caring about your family, friends and teachers now but this I did not get!
Kankaro and Temari were a little behind me whispering to each other well they taught me about family love so maybe they could explain this!
"Kankaro, Temari what is love? How do you know your in love like kissykissy huggyhuggy love rather than just love like friends with a person?" I asked them curiousity creeping into my tone.
Temari went "Ahhh" and pulled a funny shocked face. Kankaro went bright red, after clearing his throat a couple of times. "Well you see Gaara when two people get excited when they see each other then sometimes they press their lips and their bodies against each other and a..."
Temari hit him over the head with her fan. "Kankaro! He didnt ask where babies came from you IDIOT! He asked what love was don't go giving him any of your sick ideas!"
"WAIT! When you fall in love you get pregnant!" I half shouted half exclaimed in shock. I looked up in the birds nest sure enough there was 3 tiny eggs laying in there. I couldn't be sure but that girl back there definitly looked a bit tubby to me. "NO WAY WHAT IF I AM IN LOVE ALREADY AND I'M PREGNANT THERE SHOULD REALLY BE SOMETHING TO STOP THAT TILL IM OLD LIKE TEMARI!"
Uh oh Temari's face was red she was glaring at me my sand rose protectively around me so she couldn't hit me. "I AM NOT OLD GAARA!" She calmed herself down and continued."First of all your a boy you can't have a baby secondly love is when you are really happy to see someone and you love just being with them and when they are gone you miss them and when you kiss you get a fluttery feeling in your stomach."
"Well... Okay Temari I think that baby thing is rather sexist of you but thank you for explaining that to me." I smiled up at her just then I heard someone calling my name.
I spun around in time to see Lee rushing up to me, since I saved him from Kimmimarowe had grown close. "Heyy Gaara!" He shouted still running up to smiling. I smiled back I missed him and was happy to see him again healthier this time. WAIT! Was I in love with Lee! Only one way to find out for sure I ran up to him embraced him and kissed him on the lips he was in shock and stood there I wasn't getting the tummy thing I kissed him harder nope nothing.
"Sorry Lee I don't think I'm in love with you." Temari and Kankaro fainted behind me.
Lee looked at me for a few seconds his mouth wide open, "Um... Okay Gaara thats good." He said finally confused.
Sasuke POV
Naruto was being annoyingly loud as per usual as we headed back from the Land of Gas what were they thinking when they named their village that Kakashi had been injured he claimed it looked worse than it was though , "Naruto shut up you dobe I am tired of listening to your sickening voice." I snapped.
"Yeah! Well I have had enough of your jerkish attitude and your inability to tan so neither of us are happy about this Albino Teme!" Naruto retorted.
"Boy's stop fighting for 5 minutes would you! Look I have to go get our hokage to heal this wound but that ninja we took out might have friendsso try not to kill each other and guard the village got it?" Kakashi interjected before the argument could get out of hand.
"No problem Sensei leave it to me!" Naruto said with that idiotic grin on his face. Kakashi looked over at me and I nodded. Code for don't worry I will keep knucklehead in line. Kakashi took off through the gates leaving me alone with the dobe. Great. "Remember don't kill each other you hormonal weirdo's" Kakashi called over his shoulder.
Naruto and I glared each other, "We'll try not to."
"You aren't going to swoop in here and steal my hero status!" Naruto jumped into the tree's sticking his tongue out I hid my smirk he was the only one that still treated me just the same the minute I got back the others were starting to trust me little by little but he and sakura wholeheartedly accepted me. Even Sakura struggled at first though.
"YOU ROUGE NINJA'S BEWARE NARUTO USUMAKI OF THE LEAF PROTECTS THIS PLACE BELIEVE IT!" Naruto Hmph I gave the knucklehead shouted to no one in particular he hadn't grown up one bit I muffled a laugh again. Even if he hadn't matured emotionally he had definitly developed physically his toned chest pressing against his shirt... one minute I'm a dude what do I care about his appearance. I give the knucklehead 3 seconds and he won't be able to keep this up. 3, 2, 1
"SASUKE!" He shouted inches from my face, "I'm bored." Startled I hit him and he fell into a muddy puddle. "SASUKE NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I'M ALL MUCKY I'M GOING TO BATHE ITS YOUR FAULT SO YOU GUARD."
"Okay Princess we wouldn't want you to get dirt in your nails or anything!" He gave me one last glare before strolling off. I couldn't help but watch his confident stride as he stormed angrily Sakura tended to walk like a duck when she was angry.
*20 mins later* I had walked off further into the tree's to better disguise myself when the puddle Naruto had fallen in (okay was pushed in) started to take form and four ninja emerged from behind the three's.
"Boss are you okay?" one asked the puddle ninja as he formed fully.
"No that little twerp he is going to pay for this!" The ninja turned round and had a huge imprint of a butt on his shirt and face before I could react they were running to the stream I took out two before they got there but the leader and two cronies had made it to the stream. Please Naruto. Please be on your guard. Just then I heard loud laughter coming from the stream.
Was I too late? My heart pounded like the day the Uchiha clan was wiped out Iturned the cornerto see Naruto rolling around in laughter in the stream."SHUTTUP KID WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!"
Naruto carried on regardless, "Okay buttface whatever you say!" Laughing at his own joke he laughed even more gleefully as they aimed their Shruikens at him.
"Naruto!" I cried taking the sidekicks down easily with my shruikens.
"Water Jitsu Squirty hose!" A beam ofwater shot at my head as I heard Naruto laugh.
"Squirty hose hahaha hehe" he giggled. Clearly he was going to be no help.
I dodged it easily these ninja were obviously not high rankers "Fireball Jitsu!" My opponent 'Butt face' took a direct hit and after a follow up punch was knocked unconcious.
Naruto was still laughing away, "Naruto you could have been killed!"
"Sasuke how can you look so serious he has a butt! Not just anywhere but on his face! At least laugh in suprise" he howled with laughter again.
"Nothing suprises me anymore not after what I have seen." I said darkly turning my back.
"Really Sasuke-Kun?" A girly voice asked I turned round to see a naked blonde woman which I instantly recognised as Naruto's sexy Jitsu.
"Not shocked." I said blankly.
"Okay hmmm let me think," Naruto held his chin morphing back into himself. I turned around rolling my eyes at him he hadn't transformed back with clothes on!
"AHHH!" I shouted shocked, "Naruto aren't you feeling a little cold! Are you forgetting something!" My eyes trailed down his body against my will he was even more toned than his clothes let on and his abs weren't the only thing that looked like they could do damage... I covered my eyes horrified with myself.
"What did i forget? Hey Sasuke you look like something really did shock you woo hoo I win!" Naruto danced around.
"WHATEVER JUST PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" I snapped.
"Oh yeah that's why I didnt come out of the lake I mean being seen as a nude girl is one thing but a boy thats just..." he rambled
"Just put some clothes on!" I shouted.
"Okay Mr angry pants." Naruto laughed and then I the great Sasuke fainted.
Kakashi POV
I hope they don't kill each other the fifth Hokage loves Naruto if anything were to happen... My breathing was coming out more ragged now it was as bad as it looked but he hadn't wanted to worry Naruto and Sasuke. He wondered how Sakura was doing in her medicinal training.
"KAKASHI SENSEI!" Speaking of the devil I thought to myselfsmiling underneath my mask.
"Hello Sakura. How are you today?" I smiled at the pinkette.
She in turn gasped, "Kakashi what happened come with me right this minute!"He followed her dainty footsteps down the corridor into an empty room. His favourite room in the whole hospital actually because it allowed him to look out at the whole village but how did she know that? "Lady Hokage said you liked this room I can see why Iliketo come in here and watch everyone go about their lives. It feels good when I can seea patient I have helped going about their lives again." She smiled at me she had grown up alot since I first met her for one thing she didn't constantly babble about Sasuke anymore then again no one was settled with Sasuke aside from Naruto they had managed to slip straight back into their old rivalry and she wasn't afraid anymore here in the hospital she was in her element. She always had been caring.
While I was in mid thought I hadn't realised my shirt being pulled off until it covered my face. "Sakura what are you doing!" I asked shocked.
"Awww Kakashi Sensei your red I just wanted to get to your cut I was going to tell the threeof you boys over dinner but I wanna show you!" She smiled sweetly at me, "Besides don't tell me that none of your students have tried to steal your shirt before your a total TILF Sensei!" She went backto removing his shirt as gently as she could.
Suddenly she gasped looking at his torso. Well I thought my chest isn't exactly for the faint hearted it is covered in scars of previous battles. "Sensei you should be more careful based on this your more reckless than Naruto! And you certainly shouldn'thave a favourite hospital room thats so morbid!" She chatised him before she leant over him and dabed his cut with stingy stuff. He tried to stifle a gasp of pain. "Don't worry the antisceptic is just to make sure you don't get infected. I am going to start healing it now okay?"
"Okay thank you Sakura!" He smiled his eye crinkling as her hands touched his cold skin he felt immediate warmth spreading through his shoulder before it swept through his bodyto his heart he hadn't felt so uplifted and free of his emotional burdens since the loss of his team. She removed her hands but the peaceful feeling remained.
"I did it I actually healed you completely!" Sakura cried happily,"I am going to be a real medical ninja soon!" Then she flung her arms around my neck and kissed me through my retreated looking shocked, "Sensei I am so sorry! I just never healed a wound that severe before and I was excited I'm soooo sorry!" She burnt red and flew from the room,
I looked after her stunned. After a while I had three questions. One should I say something to Sakura or just avoid her. How was I going to cope if she did it againwas it really just an excited kiss? And most importantly what is a TILF?
Lee POV
"Gai sensei can I ask you a question?" I asked sadly.
"As long as its not where do babies come from sure!" Gai Beamed.
"Do I look gay? Is that why Sakura won't date me?" I looked up at Gai forlornly.
"No Lee of course not! Why would you ask that!" Gai looked shocked.
"Well Gaara kissed me so I thought I might be giving off a vibe or something." I replied happier.
"Maybe he thinks our feminine what you should do is a masculine job that highlights your physique other than being a ninja to show you are as strong as you are sensitive something a girl couldn't do!" Gai said before darting off to challenge Kakashi for the night.
"You got it Sensei!" I said happily I would prove I was a Macho Man I asked the Butchers, the builders and a gym but no one had vacancies. I sighed dejectedly walking along the path before I saw a sign right in a tavern window.
"Brave Masculine Macho men required for Sunday striptease. Must be physically fit and confident. You will make the woman of your dreams happy and show how macho you are!"
"PERFECT!" I cried and ran inside.
So guys what did you think of the first chapter? I hope you don't hate it because some bits are a bit immature. I hope you enjoyed it PLEASEEEEE REVIEW this is my first Naruto fanfic and I would love your advice!