Dear Brian,
It's been a while. You probably don't want to talk to me and I probably don't deserve this but I need to talk to you about something. You know where you can find me.
From Noah
P.S. I sent some pictures, I hope you like them.
A week later
Re: Dear Brian
I'll be there.
-Brian
It's midday.
It's a great summer day. After Jude and I "reunited", I've been feeling much better. The hole is still there in my heart but I'm getting there. The leaves on the trees have begun to get back their colors, and the everything seems pretty okay. I've started taking walks around my house to reflect on myself. Today, I let my legs move on their own letting destiny guide me. I start running a little towards a little path that leads to the forest. I run deep into the forest until my legs stops moving. It takes a while, considering my shape after these years. Perhaps I should join a the track team.
I sit on a bench I find in the forest, gasping for breath. I look at the path in front of me and start to mind draw. I draw the ground and the green trees and the grass. But then I see something in on the path. A asteroid. Brian, I remember. I pick it up. The stone is warm and comforting. I still miss him and I have a hard time forgetting about, what I did to him. I close my eyes for a second taking the sounds of the treesーmy old friends, trying to keep my eye sweat from coming out.
"So do you still go to this place?"
That voice… I turn my head and open my eyes andーI see the sunーhim, Brian.
I try to say something like "Hi, it's been a long time." but it comes out as "I'm sorry".
My face suddenly feels a little cold. Tears, tears that shouldn't have fallen but they keep falling.
I turn my head from him. How could I even look at him even after all I've done. I feel so ashamed when I look at those eyes and those lips… My heart stops beating for a second...
I feel a body embracing me, trying to comfort me. Brian, Brian, my joy and sorrow, my love and my revolutionist.
I don't deserve this. I don't deserve him after that day.
"You came back." I cry.
"It's okay, everything's fine." He whispers.
I feel his body next to mine. I pull away. He looks a little hurt. Because I pulled away.
I make an attempt to dry my tears but they keep coming.
"I don't want to hurt you more than I've done,"
"Then be with me, so we can fix this mess together," he says softly
I feel his hands around my wrist and he pulls me in his arms and our lips touch. He fills me with his love, and I can't resist… I love him, this idiot. I love him so damn much, that I'd rather have him hate me than to be hurt by me. I love him so much that all these years waiting was worth it and I'd do it as many times as it takes and I'd trade the earth for just a moment with him. My body feels whole again, like it did for three years ago.
We sit on the bench, after basically making out. None of us making a sound for a while. Taking in everything that happened. I guess this is it then, he will move on...
"Noah?" he says, still not looking at me.
"Yeah."
"How's life going?"
I chuckle, no I laugh, a lot. He turns to me, looking surprised and then breaks into a grin.
Oh, that grin. It's been three years since I've seen it. Still cute as always. Even after three years I can see that he hasn't changed much at all. Me however…
I thought he was hurting because didn't want to be gay, and that I was making it worse. But now I realize that he wanted to be with me all along. I feel my feelings bubbling up again, and I feel my tears coming. Brian sees me and gets tense.
"Noah, did I do something wrong?"
I punch him lightly on his shoulder.
"No, you idiot. I'm crying because of you. You make me feel like I can live a happy life. You are my joy and sorrow, Brian."
"Wait, so you're not angry at me?"
"Angry for what?"
"For leaving you alone."
It makes my brain stop for a second. He thought that I was angry at him for leaving me. I suddenly feel at ease.
"No," I finally say.
It might have affected me before but I won't let it happen again. I want to be with him even though he may break my heart again some day. Brian breaks into a smile… my heart stops. He's so cool, fancy, nice and so much more. He's mine, and I won't let go of him again.
I pull him towards me and we kiss and I feel like we're back again, to that summer three years ago...
The End
10 Years Later
Selfportrait : Two boys holding hands while the world stops for a second.
Selfportrait : Two boys kissing.
Selfportrait : Two men happily married.
continuation? and other stuff
"I still can't believe that you kept that stone"
"Well, I couldn't just have thrown it through the window"
"I guess."
Silence
"You've changed a bit I see"
"You don't seem at bit different from before"
"So are we together now? Like boyfriend and boyfriend?"
"I guess so BOYFRIEND"
This makes him blush. OMG he's so cute.
"Do you remember the bird at our neighbor's house?
"Yeah, how so?"
"Well, we found Ralph. And it's the drunk model from CSA and he's Jude's boyfriend."
"Wow, I guess I missed a lot of things."
"Brian, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you ashamed of what we had before?"
"I was scared which made me panic and which only got you hurt. I still can't forgive myself that I just left you and-"
"I feel so relieved. I thought that you hated me"
"I like you Noah. no. I love you Noah and I want to be with you from now on.
"Brian, I love you more than anything and I would like that too.
"So let's try this again, for real, okay?
"Okay." (Why did I put a TFIOS in this?!)
"Well I guess we should get going."
"I think that Dad and Jude has finished swimming.
I stand up but Brian looks a little troubled.
"Come on, it's just my dad."
"Yes, but still wha-"
I put (slam) my hands in his and drag him up.
He looks happy and a bit embarrassed but I don't care anymore. I want to show the world that he's the one,that I love.
I'm so happy and I think he's too. I can feel his pulse rising.
And we exit the forest, hand in hand.