AN: Had some angst Miya-Al-Hibi
Setting: Human Ad, AU.
Warning/s: Self-harm.
Summary: "And when your sorrowed is comforted you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so for that pleasure...And your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, 'Yes, the stars always make me laugh!' And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you..."
"And when your sorrowed is comforted you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so for that pleasure...And your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, 'Yes, the stars always make me laugh!' And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you..." The man in bunny jacket quoted from the book he loves so much, looking at the slumbering person besides him...This person, he wants him to be happy even though it'll mean that he will be lonely, certainly he wouldn't care if that was the price.
A sad smile came across the man's lips "I know you don't want this but...can you live for me as a human and be happy..." he says, his voice sounded raw. The man slowly swipe his hand over the person's face and the person's body broke into tiny pixels.
"Goodbye...I'll watch over you my precious." The man said with a crestfallen expression all over his youthful face.
There's a lone tear cascaded down onto his cheek as soon as he opened his eyes. It's finally the day, Al Saiduq woke up from his comatose state. Saiduq sat up then look at his own hands there's an IV connected to the back of his hand, he blink. "Is...it all a dream...?" he ask himself, trying to process everything. Someone suddenly entered the room, it was a girl with butterfly-like ribbon at the back of her head. The girl gasp, "You're awake! Thank goodness." as she hurried to get over to his side. She then took one of his hand, holding it firmly and kisses his knuckle lightly. Saiduq stared at her, confuse. What...happen?
Saiduq lick his chapped lips before speaking, "Wh...What happened, M...Miyako Hotsuin?" he asked, hoarsely. "Where's _?" Saiduq asked for the person that is important for him but once he said the name, he can only hear was nothing but a static like noise. Miyako tilts her head, repeating the name yet all he can heard is a loud static sound. He frowned, cupping his mouth, pondering something.
"Are you okay? Don't exert yourself, Saiduq." She says. "You don't remember but you were involved in an accident and went on a coma for two years." Miyako looks at the other, smiling with tears at the corner of her eyes. "I'm glad you're awake..." she said, her voice tremble with happiness. Saiduq stared, confusion was clear on his face.
"What the..." He mutters. "No...that...wasn't...I'm..." Saiduq said brokenly, grasping his head, his eyes looking around the room in a frantic manner. "No, no...No!" He screamed as he pulls the IV needle out of his hand. Miyako quickly moves to the phone near, calling for assistance before holding Saiduq down. He thrash wildly, he needs to find that "person" no matter what. "Let me go!" Saiduq yelled still thrashing. "No." She said firmly. "Calm down first before I let you go. I had no idea what is making you agitated but please, we'll talk about it, if you calm down." Miyako says, pinning him down.
Saiduq grits his teeth, "You won't understand, if it is what I think it is, you'll never understand! Let me go! Now! I need to find..._!" He yells, trying to kick her but failing miserably. She stared at him, tightening her hold.
"Are you sure that person exist? Are you sure they aren't just a fabrication of your dream?" Miyako says softly as if asking a child. Saiduq stops thrashing, it dawned that maybe it was only a dream but it feels...real. She stare at Saiduq, sighing in relief. Miyako didn't really know why Saiduq is agitated. "Confusion, perhaps...maybe he's mixing reality and dream at once." She thought still holding Saiduq by both wrist. "If this person you speak of exist then we'll find them...promise so please, calm down. My dear." Miyako smiled softly at him.
Saiduq bit his lower lip, pondering the things. "Miyako...what are you...to me...? I f...forgot." he asks, his voice was barely audible, deciding that he'll go with this 'accident' just to find that person he seeks. Miyako can feel her heart clenches at the question but she smiles at him, answering with the words Saiduq feared.
"It's fine. The doctor said you hit head hard." She says. "As for our relationship...we're..." The girl pauses, letting Saiduq go. "We're...lovers." She mumbled, looking at him wearily before going to the phone again, saying that she didn't need any assistance.
Saiduq blankly stared at her. "I...I see...please, tell me...more." Miyako sighs and set herself on a chair, obliged to tell everything.
Saiduq learned that this 'accident' was caused by a car, she said that he's just walking, innocently across a bookstore when a car came crushing towards him. She also said that her brother was with him at that time. Saiduq listens to everything what she says and the more he listens, the more it didn't make any sense to him. He had no recollection of these events. The boy let out a sigh, he tiredly stared at Miyako.
"Which...is true...her story or the dream?" he ask himself, looking at the window. "Maybe that person knew...perhaps...he had the real answer." Truth to be told, he vaguely remembers his dream but the people there...he's sure they exist except for that person, he couldn't shake off the feeling of losing a very important person.
Saiduq feels something dark is boiling in his heart yet he couldn't figure it, maybe if he let it be...he'll attain what he need...that person, perhaps?
Miyako stared at him before standing up. "I will leave you for awhile...I'll tell Ms. Otome that you're awake, See you tomorrow." She says, placing a kiss on his forehead before bowing gracefully. Saiduq paid her no heed, staring at her coldly. Her heart clenches tighter than the last but she lets it be, it'll go away anyway. Miyako walked to the door, looking back at Saiduq before leaving, closing the door.
With Miyako out of sight, Saiduq went to the bathroom and stared at the mirror. The reflection shows himself, A boy with white curly hair, looking weak and frail, sickly pale skin, thick lashes attach around his eyes making him a bit feminine. He wondered if he really look like this. A blade caught his attention, dangerously glinting in the light. Saiduq absently grabbed it, inspecting the blade. Saiduq lifted his sleeve to reveal his flawless wrist.
"What would I feel if I do this." He presses the blade on his wrist, hard before swiping it across his wrist, A vibrant red blooms on the wound he inflicted on his wrist. Saiduq watches it flows out of his wrist, "Ha...haha..." he laughs hollowly as he dropped the blade to the floor. "It hurts...haha...like the way I feel." Saiduq said weakly, turning his head on the mirror and smiles forcibly. "Oh look, I'm smiling." He says to his reflection as he smiled, tears suddenly flowed down from his eyes. "Why...am I crying...?" Saiduq asked no one in particular, sliding down to the tiled floor, bleeding his wrist as tears flows down to his cheek.
On great timing, Otome comes into the bathroom, she saw her patient, sitting on the floor with a cut on his wrist. "Mr. Saiduq!" She exclaims, rushes besides him, assisting him out of the bathroom to his bed. Otome then get first aid kit and tend Saiduq's wrist. He wiped his eyes the watch her, wincing occasionally as she apply whatever it was.
Otome sighs in relief after tending the wound. "Please don't do that again." she says. Saiduq stared at her before tilting his head. "Can...you heal this one as well?" He asked, pointing where his heart was. "Its painful..for some reason..." She stared at him for a moment before patting Saiduq on the head. "Does it feel like you lost someone? If so then, I can't do anything about that...Time will heal it although there's still be a pain that remains but harming yourself will only inflict more..."
"'Time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." Saiduq replied, putting a hand where his heart is "I think the wound in my so-called, "heart" is deeper like an abyss. It might not get healed by time. Alone." He force a smile, looking at her. Otome stared at him, worry paints her face. "He...reminds me of someone...but who?" She thought.
Saiduq look down to the floor with a blank expression.
Months passed rapidly, yet Saiduq still feels the emptiness within his heart, he needs to be by that person side or he'll break even further.
Saiduq hides everything he felt, no one will understand what he feels anyway. He continues to hurt himself to ease some of the pain inside his chest...
Saiduq and Miyako was out on a date, the two of them was walking side by side yet Saiduq kept his distance away from her. He still feels uneasy when he's with her.
Miyako lets him be, she's just afraid that he might do 'it' again, everytime they take off their eyes off of him. Saiduq is bound to have a new wound on either arm, thighs or anywhere he can hide it. It's becoming tedious, Miyako did asked him what he wanted but every single time she would get a cold or sometimes a condescending stare from him.
She's starting to get jealous by this 'person' Saiduq speak off. She do wondered what kind of a person they were... "...Perhaps, this person...is someone familiar...? But who...?" Miyako pondered, "Hi-_-_, person?" something is odd about the name, it's nostalgic yet she can't figure it out nor remember what was nostalgic about the name. Miyako shrugged it off, walking beside Saiduq, she then firmly holds his hand.
Saiduq, inwardly cringes at the sudden contact, he tried to pull his hand but the hold is a bit tight. She pulls him somewhere. The two wind up in an amusement park, Miyako pulls Saiduq to a booth. The so-called "lovers" begin to ride the rides as they roam around the park. Miyako is certainly enjoying herself but everytime she sees Saiduq expression, her heart starts to experience a pang of pain. As usual...Miyako will shrugged it off.
They were in the crowd when finally, Saiduq can pull his hand from her grasp. He shakes it off and flexing it as he drifts away from Miyako, leaving her as though not caring for her well-being. It is unknown to Miyako that the boy she held hand with was gone.
Saiduq walked out of the amusement park. "...I wanna sleep." He muttered, walking elsewhere, somewhere just to be away from her. Someone caught his attention. It was a young man with a stylish brown hair and a yellow scarf, somehow it reminded him of certain character from a book. Saiduq stared before realizing that this young man is familiar. "Daichi...Shijima..." He absently uttered but loud enough for the young man to hear.
Daichi stops walking and looks back as soon as he hears his name, the owner of the voice looks like he was younger than him, he was wearing a hood on top of his head, yet there's a sense of familiarity but he can't remember as to why he feels it. "Y-Yes...?" he asks, clutching the book in his hand. "Can I help you?" Daichi asked again. Saiduq stares at him then to the book in Daichi grasp for a moment before showing him a strained smile.
"Sorry, I...uh...was just playing a game of guess the stranger's name...ha...ha." He say. Daichi stares before nodding his head. "I-I see...you sure do play it good, haha... Well, see you later?" He waves his hands at the boy before continuing to walk. Saiduq watches Daichi to walk away, he suddenly feels glad to see him, safe. He wondered why? "I should...read the book he was holding...It seems to be a good one. "The little prince" was the title." Saiduq mutters, stuffing his hand inside his pocket, going to a near bookstore before going home.
Meanwhile, Miyako is restlessly searching for Saiduq, he was gone the moment she turned away from him. She's afraid that he might harm himself again. Her phone vibrated in her hands, she quickly answer it.
"Yes, brother?" She says automatically still searching for Saiduq.
"Where are you?" Yamato asked from the other line. "Searching for Saiduq, why, is he there?" Miyako says, looking around. "Yes, he's in his room, as usual, locking himself." He grumbled. She let a sigh out escapes her lips. "Please look after him while I'm gone." She can hear him sigh before grumbling. "Fine." Yamato cuts off the call. Miyako heaved another sigh, walking back elsewhere.
Saiduq let himself to be indulged by the book, some of the words are familar as if he heard of them from someone...that person perhaps. He sniff before reading the line aloud,
"And when your sorrowed is comforted you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so for that pleasure...And your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, 'Yes, the stars always make me laugh!' And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you..."
Saiduq burst into tear. He felt his heart was going to burst as well, That line is awfully familiar, he continues reading every familiar line.
"I shall look as if I were suffering. I shall look a little as if I were dying. It is like that. Do not come to see that. It is not worth the trouble."
"It was wrong for you to come. You will suffer. I ahall look as if I were dead; and that will not be true..."
Saiduq finishes reading the book, he just wanted to flip the world as he cry, unexpectedly a certain memory arouses within his mind.
He stared at his Sword, before opening his mouth "Say, Alcor...can you do me a favor?" Alcor look at the current administrator, smiling genuinely. "Anything that would please you." he says. The Administrator smiled. "It'll be hard for you but...will you live as a human."
"Shining One...we talked about this, I'm...fine as long as I'm at your side." He replied. "Sorry but I refuse." Alcor mumbles, staring at his Shining One. The Administrator sighs, his sword was being obstinate. Certainly he got no choice but to force him. "Who says you can refuse." He muttered almost menacingly. "You will live as a human." The Administrator smiled at his sword, "...Hibiki Kuze...why are you doing this?" Alcor asks solemnly. "I'm not going to be happy if you're not there...Hibiki."
"I know but...can you live for me, be happy for me."
"No, I cannot do that...I knew you were ought to break but please don't push me like this..." says Alcor, gently reaching out for Hibiki's hand. "Lean on me when you need to, Shining one." The administrator smiled but his mind was already made up. "I'm sorry, Saiduq...I don't need your assistance, anymore..." he says as he snaps his fingers.
Alcor suddenly felt his eyelids grew heavy, he opens his mouth,"No...Hibiki,..not like...this..." he uttered before falling asleep. Hibiki laugh mirthlessly. "I'm sure, she'll love you..."
Saiduq stared blankly, waiting for Miyako to come. A strained smile came across his lips...he feels empty after regaining the memory. "I see...if you really want it..." he thought.
Miyako walks into Saiduq's room, she was welcome by a mess, everything was turned over and disorganized. Saiduq sat in the middle of the room, hugging his legs. She cautiously walks towards him...this is a normal occurance, Saiduq messing up his room for him to steam up is 'perfectly' normal. He stared at her,
"...Welcome back..." Saiduq greeted, forcing a smile as if acting to be warm, yet failing miserably. He then stands up, walking towards her. Miyako stops in her tracks, staring at Saiduq. "I...I'm back..." She greets, frowning at the smile on Saiduq's lips.
Saiduq pulled her towards himself, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips before hugging her. "I love you..." He says, his voice held no warmth, There's something inside her that just broke, her heart suddenly stop feeling the pain. Miyako let out a sigh, hugging him while giving Saiduq's neck a kiss mark,
"I love you too."
Hibiki Kuze was watching the scene from where he was. "...Well that was...expected." he said, his tone was coated with mirth. "Poor him."
"Are you sure you want him to end up...like this, Hibiki." A boy with light silver curly hair and long bangs that cover his left eye, asked while staring at his creator through his lashes. Hibiki look at the boy. "Shut it, Alkie..." He mumbles. "Get back to your work." he ordered. The boy, Alkie nodded his head.
"You still 'love' him yet you don't admit...you're sad that he broke...It was your fault. after all." Alkie said, turning his back and leaves.
The current Hibiki said nothing but laugh, hollowly.