The idea of this fic came to my mind, when I heard of the possibility of Revan appearing on Mortis, during the Clone Wars. I always had a headcanon of female Revan, although I have no problem with the male one, so I used this character. Since she and Anakin are really alike, fallen jedi becoming sith lords and in the end being redeemed I thought a conversation like this could be amazing. Hope you enjoy it! (And of course I don't own Star Wars)
Anakin Skywalker felt lost, like never before. The planet – Mortis – made him feel strong and weak, at the same time. The Son showed him his mother… he felt again the guilt and the grief, that haunted him from the day he killed those sand people, to get revenge. Also, the Force was powerful here, like everything would be full of it… like the whole place would be one with it. In some way, it terrified him… and some way made him feel courageous.
But after the death of the Daughter… he was confused. Ahsoka almost died, because the Son wanted him, and no one could tell where he would strike next time. He was worried about his master's and padawan's safety, so the logical decision was obvious… leaving the planet as soon as possible. But… it wasn't just about escaping anymore. It was about the Jedi Order, about the war, about the Force… and that was exactly, why Anakin felt lost. It was somehow his responsibility. Now, being the "Chosen One" was a terrible feeling. He didn't want it. He never wanted, but this childish tale made him special somehow. And he always loved being special, being the best of all… until now. Now he regretted ever loving it.
What should I do? He asked the same question again and again. Is it my destiny to stay, or to go? To stop the Son, or just don't let him conquer the Galaxy? But something interrupted his thoughts. A voice came from the darkness, which he didn't recognize.
"Feeling sorry for yourself?" – Anakin pulled out his lightsaber. The blue light glowed violently in the surrounding darkness. He searched for the source of the voice, but didn't see anything.
"Who are you?" – He asked, and the answer came. Now, he realized that it's a female voice.
"Just a shadow. Do not bother." – He looked around again, now even more eager, to find the speaker.
She came to sight elegantly, slowly, without making any sound. She looked like a real shadow. Her black hair fell on her shoulders, and although she didn't seem very old, her blue eyes somehow seemed ancient. It reminded Anakin a little of Yoda. Although, the ancient master did look old, he was the one who could create and atmosphere like this. Like he would know everything, because he lived so long, became so wise. He looked at the woman again. No. She wasn't like Yoda. Not at all. But still she scared him.
The next thing he realized was her robe, and the lightsabers on her side. They were created in a different style than his, but this wasn't a surprise; all lightsabers were unique, showed their creators personality, alignment, everything. Anakin would give almost anything to see the colors, mostly because of the robe. It was mainly black with some red and brown parts. It wasn't a jedi's robe. Much more a sith's. He took a step back, although he was really curious. How could the sith manage to get here, and how exactly now? Who was this woman? He never heard of her, never seen her anywhere. And why didn't she attack?
It was obvious, that she not only didn't attack, but didn't even plan to attack. She set down on the steps of the tomb, and didn't seem to care about Anakin's confusion. Then slowly looked up on him, and asked:
"You have millions of questions, right?" – She asked it, like she would already know every last one of them. The young man got angry.
"I won't ask any of those. Don't worry."
"I'm not worried, but thank you." – She smiled. – "And you can ask anything. I will answer."
"What questions should I have to a sith?"
"That is the way." – The woman laughed like she couldn't take the situation seriously. – "In some ways, you are right about me. And in others, not. The Force is complicated. Someone as strong as you should really know that."
"I don't need lecture; I get enough of that, thank you. Would you just… nevermind." – He looked away. He almost asked a sith to leave and leave him alone. He himself did enough destruction on this planet alone, what could a sith woman do?
"I thought that I make people immediately like me, you know. People followed me in my life, because they believed in me. I guess it doesn't work for everyone."
"I don't have time for you now." – he said. – "I…" - for a moment, he thought if the woman is really a physical person, or just a ghost. – "I take you to the ship. Obi-wan…"
"No, you won't take me anywhere." – It wasn't a question.
"Why?" – Anakin raised one eyebrow.
"Because I came to talk to you, not to Obi-wan, or your padawan."
Anakin activated his lightsaber again, this time to threaten the sith. He really didn't have time for her jokes and games. She played with him, treated him like a child, just like everyone, just like the Council and Obi-wan but she did it roughly, she didn't even try to deny it. He made his decision, and walked to the woman, who was faster.
She stood up in the blink of an eye, and pulled out her two lightsabers. Anakin saw a purple and a red glow. The woman was way faster than him, he couldn't even move, and the blades were in perfect position to kill him.
"Don't threaten me with lightsabers. You can't even imagine how much I practiced with them."
"Who are you?" – The young jedi asked again, and now, the woman answered. Her eyes were glowing in the light, and although her face seemed to be a mask, without emotions, he understood, how many thoughts ran through her mind in that moment.
"I am a hero." – She said slowly. – "And a villain. A savior and a conqueror. A sith lord, and a jedi." – She smiled faintly. – "But mostly, they knew me on the name, Revan."
Anakin tried to remember the name… the jedi surely loved history. And that made things even complicated. First, he was convinced that she is a sith. Than it turned out she is not only a sith, but one who isn't supposed to live. She is lying. He said to himself. She is lying; there is no other way… He didn't make a move, nor the woman… the lightsabers could kill him anytime she wanted.
"Let me go!" – He broke the silence angrily.
"I have no problem with it. I hoped from the start that we can have a civilized conversation without turning my lightsabers on." – She put the weapons back to her belt, and looked at the young man, who didn't say anything. – "You know, I hoped to achieve some more attention from you. I didn't think I believed to be such a boring person nowadays." – When Anakin stayed silent, she sighed. – "Share a walk with me, if you don't want to talk."
Anakin bowed his head, and followed the woman. She looked around, with an astonished expression… Took a deep breath, and ran her fingers through a silhouette of a tree. That strange, annoying smile came to her face again, and she whispered:
"Remarkable place." – This was too much.
"What do you find remarkable here? This planet is consumed by darkness, the light is killed, and to be honest, I would give anything to get away!"
"Darkness can be sometimes as remarkable as light." – answered the woman, and turned her head. – "You want to say something."
"I don't believe you, Revan."
"And why is that?"
"We learned about Revan. She was a military leader, a tactician, a great prodigy as a jedi and a terrifying strategist as a sith during, and after the Mandalorian Wars."
"That is right." – She answered, without any confusion or anxiety.
"If you don't get the problem, I would like to remind you, that the Mandalorian Wars were four thousand years ago." – He said. – "And unless you are a vision the Son sent me, to slow me down, you can't be Revan. She is an old tale, nothing more."
"It sure feels good when people refer to you as an old tale." – She answered sarcastically. – "You need a proof of who I am? I can tell you multiple reasons to believe me. I came here from the shadows, as you saw; therefore, I can't be a physical person. Although I seem to be one to you, which can be explained with the nature of this place. You could easily understand by now, that the Father, the Son and the Daughter are also creations of the force, and not humans. You came here, and as the Chosen One, you could make contact with someone, who already became one with the Force. Look at me like I would be the creation of your mind, helping you to reach balance."
And she was somehow right. All of her arguments were proper and logical. Anakin hated to admit it, but he finally believed her. They walked along, but he didn't say anything for a while. He knew Revan was watching him, and he was also aware of the annoying smile on her face. Why did she come? He didn't ask it.
She looked to the distance, and he could see the tower of the father at the horizon. Revan closed her eyes and said.
"You feel alone."
"What?"
"I can sense it. You feel responsible… and you think no one can understand the state you're in."
"I have the right to feel this way."
"You have. But tell me where it comes from?"
"I have only one person, with whom I talk about this…"
"Your wife." – Revan stated. Anakin shrugged. It was strange to hear the word from someone beside himself and Padme. – "But you don't share everything with her."
"You know me better than I know myself." – He sounded annoyed, not surprisingly. Anakin almost gotten used to the idea of always living in secret. He didn't like when someone knew him this much. It made him feel worried, uncomfortable… unsafe.
"That is a possibility." – She answered, without reacting to his emotions. – "Skywalker, the main reason I know you is not the fact that I'm technically dead, but that we are alike, more than you could imagine."
Anakin sighed, and turned away. Of course. Somehow he expected that the woman will come with some "I understand you." kind of speech. If he would tell his secrets to Obi-wan and he wouldn't contact the jedi order immediately, he would come with something like this, too. "I understand you." No, you don't.
"I don't think that a four thousand-year-old sith really would understand me."
"Really?" – Revan run her fingers through her black hair, and started to talk slowly. – "As you said, I was once a prodigy. The jedi believed in me, but I rather became the leader of ordinary men, than be wasted pawn. I had great friends, but still…"
"I don't remember many names."
"I always said, names do not matter, what matters is the message they carry. One of them was exiled, one of them turned to the dark side, and when I came back I couldn't save him anymore. I killed him." – Her voice became quiet. – "Ordinary jedi are good people. They love light and peace. They love the world they swore to protect." – She looked around, and Anakin followed her every movement. – "I'm not good. I know my bad choices. When my war came to an end, I was faced with a choice, and by then I didn't have the wisdom and strength to think through my decision. I was alone. And I chose wrong that time." – her fingers slowly touched her lightsaber.
"Do you regret it?"
"No." – She smiled. – "I regretted it in my life. There were times of great suffering… there were times when I wanted to get revenge on myself. There were times when I felt pain, loss, there was a time when I died but still lived on, clinging to that faint flicker of life inside of me… but now, looking back I don't regret anything. It formed the universe. It formed me. That decision made me realize everything, that later made me remembered." – Anakin finally understood her words at the beginning of their conversation.
"Darkness sometimes can be as remarkable, as light." – Revan bowed her head.
"Exactly. This is what ties us, young Skywalker. This is what makes us alike."
"What…"
"We are leaders in wars we think the most important. But in the end, you will face a choice, just as important as mine… and I hope you will make the right one."
As Anakin watched her, he was sure the woman already knew what choice he will make… and millions of thoughts ran through his mind in moments. About Obi-wan, Ahsoka, Padme, the jedi order… there were so many decisions to make. Which one can be that important? Revan turned around, and made a gesture towards Anakin, to follow her back to the tomb. The young man didn't start the conversation again… their walk back was silent, but that silence told much more than the words before.
Revan sat down on the steps, just like in the beginning, and watched Anakin.
"You have to go, don't you?"
"Where?"
"The Father told you about a place, the center of darkness. Do you remember?"
"Yes, I do. But you…"
"I will find my way back to the place I came from, Skywalker." – She stood up, and covered her face with the hood of her black cape.
"Wait!" – He touched her shoulder, to turn her back. – "Why did you come… exactly? You… I don't say that I don't appreciate the help and guidance you gave me, but… there is another reason." – To his surprise, this time Revan not only smiled… she laughed.
"I was curious." – She opened her arms, like it would be so obvious and simple. - "I simply wanted to know you."
"What?"
"I have always been curious, is that such a sin? Wouldn't you like to meet someone, who seems to be you in another place and time?"
Anakin didn't answer, and Revan turned again, this time firmly and finally to go away. The young man still wasn't sure of her motivations… She was too old, too mysterious, too different from everyone he met. And still, he could see her point. She could make him see her point. Anakin thought again of that final choice he will have to make, than called again after Revan. She didn't look at him… she just stop.
"When will I know, when my decision comes? How long I have to wait?"
"The Clone Wars is getting closer to the endgame." – She said. – "But your decision's time and place are somethings I cannot predict. But choices like this won't come in easy times… and you won't think of it too much."
"How could I forget?"
"My memory, Skywalker will fade from your mind fast. You won't even leave this planet, and I will be no more, than an old tale. A forgotten dream. You will be alone again… but that is the natural state of our kind. It won't scare you."
As she slowly entered the shadows, Anakin whispered the jedi farewell… "May the Force be with you, Revan." And as the young Skywalker followed her till the end it seemed like he could take out other silhouettes around her… Taking the hand of the lonely, tired knight, leading her back to perfect peace and harmony where she truly belonged. The Force slowly embraced it's sister… welcomed her home. For a moment, Anakin thought of that last scene… than went to his airspeeder. He had a task. He had his master and padawan waiting for him at the spaceship. He had a war to win. And he had many, many decisions to make.
