Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or the characters

A/N: I've been working on this story for a few months now and finally I'm done with it and can share it with y'all. It's more like what I usually write, but it's still really different. I hope you'll enjoy it and it would mean so much if you would be kind enough to take a few seconds from your life and review.

Post apocalypse

Its nights like this that is the hardest. Nights when he wakes up from thunder and is unable to go back to sleep. He sits up on the bench he was sleeping on and knows he have to find some sort of shelter before it starts raining. He doesn't have any other clothes than the ones on his body and he doesn't want to get sick by walking around in wet clothes. He stands up and begins to walk slowly amongst the ruins of what used to be a crowded city. Sometimes he passes other people. People that don't even look at him. It hurts. But it hurts even more that his brother isn't with him.

You see, a few years ago the apocalypse happened. The big showdown between Michael and Lucifer. People died and the world was put to ruins. Michael won though. He killed Lucifer, killing Sam in the process. That's what's hurts Dean the most. Michael was in his body. He remembers Lucifer/Sam standing on his knees, literally begging for his life. He remembers Michael saying something about that he would spare him if he could, but he had to finish what was begun. He remembers Michael pressing the blade through Lucifer/Sam's heart. He remembers Michael leaving his body and standing in front of him. He saw Michael's true form. And honestly it wasn't what he had expected. Castiel had said he was as big as a Chrysler Building. And Zachariah said he had six wings and four head's one of which was a lion. Dean expected Michael's true form to be bigger and odder looking than he imagined Castiel and Zachariah. He was wrong. Michael's true form looked like a human. Michael must have been a couple centimetres shorter than Dean. He had golden, curly hair that went down to the shoulders. He was dressed in what looked like it could have been a white sheet that was only wrapped around the body and over one shoulder. They just stared at each other for a minute or two, before Michael walked up to Dean and with a voice so soft and low that it was almost a whisper he said: "I'm proud of you Dean. You did what the angels asked from you. You said yes to me, and for that I'm forever grateful. I wish I could take you to heaven, 'cause if anyone deserves being there it's you. But your time is not over. You have many years left to live." Dean had tears in his eyes and said: "What… what about Sam?" Michael smiled and said: "Your brother played his part. He deserves something for that, so I'll take him to heaven." Michael put a hand on Dean's shoulder and now Dean saw his blue eyes, reminding him of the angel he had once loved and lost. "Take care, Dean." Michael let go of Dean and turned towards Sam. He picked up Sam's bloody, dead body in his arms and suddenly Dean could see a pair of white wings opening up and closing around Sam and his own body like a shield, before a glowing light came from his body, getting stronger and stronger for every second. When the light got too bright to look at Dean closed his eyes and put an arm up to make it darker. A couple seconds later and the light were gone. He opened his eyes and Michael and Sam where gone too.

Amazingly enough he found a place that wasn't completely in ruins. It was a hotel he remembered from about 15 years earlier. He couldn't have been much older than 17 years and they where just passing through. At night when he was sleeping in a bed a ghost had come out of nowhere and just thrown him out of bed. Dean, Sam and John had struggled with the ghost for a while, but they didn't get rid of it until after Dean had gotten thrown down a stair and broken his arm. He could still remember the red walls in the room and the unusually soft beds. He wondered how it looked like now. He walked over to the dust covered stairs and judged that they wouldn't break if he walked on them. And if they did, he'd probably die or get hurt and lie there until he died. He wouldn't mind if that happened. It wasn't like no one would care. Everyone that had ever cared about him was all dead. Well, most of them anyway. He didn't know if Cas was dead or just gone.

Slowly walking up on the stairs memories of a 13 year old Sam suddenly invaded Dean's head. It was the night they had come to town and Dean had been out buying some M&M's and he was walking up these stairs when a smiling Sam stood in front of the stair and said: "Turn around. I asked dad about going to the cinema. He said it was okay, but only if you come with me." Dean didn't feel like going to the cinema, but he loved seeing his brother smile so he nodded and just turned around and walked back down again with Sam following close behind.

When he got upstairs and saw the door right in front of him he got unsure if he really should walk inside there. He knew that more memories most probably would come to him. Memories he wished he could forget, cause remembering hurts. He wishes he could just forget about everything. Or that he didn't have to be alone, but he knows… he knows that he can never get what he want. Especially not the thing he wants the most. His brother.

He took a deep breath and laid his hand on the handle and slowly opened the door. It looked exactly as it had done all those years earlier, only now dustier and it wasn't the same chairs that had been there when they stayed there, of course that could be cause they broke when they where fighting the ghost.

Slowly he walks into the room and more memories from this hotel flashes by. Tears form in his eyes but he blinks them away. He takes another deep breath before walking over to the bed and lays down on it. He closes his eyes and just listens to the thunder while slowly drifting asleep.

I watch him every night and every day. He doesn't know and I plan to keep it this way even though it breaks my heart to see him sad all the time. He thinks I can't hear his prayers, but I do. I just have to… It's so hard not to show myself for him whenever he calls. If I could I would, but I have to listen to the other angels.

It's mornings like this that's he hate the most. Mornings when he wakes up and thinks Sam is lying in the same room. Mornings like this Dean always wakes with a smile on his lips, a warmth in his heart that he haven't felt since… he doesn't remember it, doesn't want to remember it. But then he opens his eyes and the smile goes away and the warmth in his heart becomes so icing cold that he thinks he's going to die. For a few seconds he can't breathe and it feels just like… just like his heart is breaking in a million peaces. But only for a few seconds, then he's fine again. As fine as he can be.

He sighs and turns from his side to lay on his back while sighing and feeling his stomach scream for food. It's been about a day and a half since he last ate. He needs to find food. He have been without food for up to 5 days before eating anything but one of those times he collapsed and a nice family had taken him to their place and gave him food, clean clothes and a shower. It can't be much more than 3 months since he met them and he wish he could see them again sometime. Make it up to them. At the time he had nothing to give them as a thank you.

He's surprised over all the nice people he has met through the years since the apocalypse. He thought people would be selfish and only help themselves. He was wrong. Every person he has met has helped him. Or maybe they know that he helped saving the planet. A few person he have met have admitted to knowing it but he wish people wouldn't help him just because of that, cause really, wasn't it his fault the apocalypse ever came? He was the one to break the first seal.

Sometimes I wish I could read his mind. This is one of those times. Sometimes he's like an open book, his eyes tells me everything he thinks of, other times so distance and shows no emotions. I don't like that. He's like that right now and… truth to be told, it's scaring me.

It's days like this that are the hardest. Days when the sun shine and the birds sing. Day's when the few persons on the street are happy. Why? Cause Dean knows Sam would have enjoyed it. Maybe read a book or take a walk. Days like this used to be the few times Sam smiled and forgot about the whole world and the apocalypse. It where days like this that sometimes even Dean could suggest they'd just do something. Swim if they were near a lake, shop if they had money, really just do anything as long as he got to be with Sam. But now there were no lakes to swim in, there were no places to shop at and there was no Sam to be with.

The hours turns to days and the days turns to weeks which turns to months. It gets easier but there are days when he just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel so he just sits there on some concrete floor and tries not to break down. It really hurts me seeing him like that. And knowing that I'm the reason for it is even worse. I know I won't be able to listen to the other angels much longer. This is all my fault. If I had just not killed Lilith nothing of this would never have happened.

"Dean… Dean… Dean…" Someone is whispering his name and there's something really familiar about that voice. He know he should know who it belongs to, but he just can't remember. "Dean..." He wakes up from his sleep and the whispering voice disappears. It was just a dream. A stupid dream. Slowly Dean sits up, but quickly lays down again. The ground is hard and cold, but Dean don't care. He feels like giving up, like just lay there forever until he dies. And that's what he decides to do. Just lay there until the end of time.

For three days strait he just laid there doing nothing. For three days strait he just waited to die, begged for it. But nothing ever happened. He got hungry and thirsty, of course, but he didn't die. Then suddenly at the beginning of the fourth day he heard a voice from somewhere in front of him saying: "What happened to you? You where doing so grate. Why did you just give up?" He thought the voice just came from his head so he just ignored it and closed his eyes. "Hey, listen to me!" Getting annoyed at the voice that was just in his head he said: "What?" The voice from within his head sighed and said: "Look at me when I'm talking to you." Dean opened his eyes and sat up, not believing what he saw. "You're not real. You... You're just a manifestation of my dreams." The man standing in front of him smiled and said: "You wish I was here with you?" Dean nodded. "Why wouldn't I wish for that?" He stood up and walked over to the man and embraced him in a hug. "Dean...?" Dean let go of him and said: "I've missed you, Sammy." Tears where welling up in his. "I've missed you so much." Sam looked Dean in his eyes and said: "Dean... We need to talk."

"About what?"

"About you."

"What about me?"

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what?"

"Trying to kill yourself by not eating and drinking?"

"Because, I can't take it anymore. I've been all alone for years. Do you know what that is like?" Sam shook his head and said: "Look, I can't even begin to understand how you feel, but I've been watching you everyday of your life since Michael took me to heaven and made me and angel, so I know how miserable you feel, but there's a reason why you're still alive and I'm not gonna watch you die. You are going to do something. You are going to eat, drink, sleep and then you are going to find a place where the world is still alive, a place where people live, a little village or a town somewhere that didn't fall in to ruins because of the stupid apocalypse. And then one day when you're old, have a wife and maybe a few kids, then I can watch you die... Of old age of course. Do you understand me?" Dean took a deep breath to control himself. He wanted to punch Sam as hard as he could for telling him what to do. He licked his lips and finally said: "You can't tell me what to do!" He turned around to walk away, but got stopped, by Sam that grabbed his arm. He turned towards Sam and said: "Let me go or get a black eye!" Sam quickly let go of his brother and said: "Please, Dean. Don't do it for me. Do it for you. You need someone in your life and I just can't stay. Please, please, please, I'm begin you." Dean looked down on the ground and said: "I don't just need someone..." He looked at Sam and continued: "I need you." Sam shook his head and said: "You're strong. You can make it without me. You've been doing good on your own for years. You never needed me. You just wanted me there because you had never really been without me. But now you have and we both know you can do it. You're ready. You can and you will find someone. I know you know it too, Dean!"

"Yeah, but maybe I don't want to."

"Dean... it's hard for me too, you know. But one day you will come to heaven and we can be brothers again. It's just a matter of time." Dean took a deep breath. "I know."

"So you'll do it? You'll find a place, a home, a family?" Dean just nodded. Sam looked up at the sky and said: "I have to leave. The other angels are calling for me." Sam looked back at Dean and they both just stood there for a few seconds before they ones again hugged and Sam just disappeared in Dean's arms. Dean looked up at the sky and he was almost sure he could see Sam's face in the clouds as he smiled and began walking away to find a place where people still lived.

The end.