AN: Hello there, strangers. I have been hiding in the dark corners of this fandom for a long time and well. It's Valentine's, and I sort or unintentionally wrote this a few nights ago (when I wasn't supposed to study) and so I figured I could post it.
It's ridiculously fluffy, I have no spellcheck and I didn't reread it enough to be satisfied. But, well. Too bad.
Warnings: KLAINE. Except that? Fluff. Seriously. Fluff and romance and a teeny bit of angst if you look for it, but mostly fluff. Slash, too. Boy on boy loving, though it's just talk about love between two boys here, so. Nothing dangerous.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee - which we should be happy about, really. It'd be horrible. Like, if I ruled the world, I'd be happy there, but no one else. Sort of like that.
"I... really don't know what I'm doing." he murmured quietly, gently, clutching the pale, soft hand in both of his. It was slightly smaller than his, and lithe, if hands could be lithe. "I'm sort of stumbling around in the darkness here. Doing what I think might be right for you, but it's so hard because you make it so easy to be selfish. And even if you say that I'm perfect and wonderful - and I know that you mean it, it's so clear when you look at me - winging it can only get me so far..."
He trailed off, voice dangerously shaky. He took a shuddering, calming breath and picked up again, "I'm so scared. I'm so scared that I'll finally get you to see how fantastic you are, that you deserve so much better; I'm afraid that you'll see all that and that you'll leave me. And I - I couldn't go through that. Ever. You... you're so precious and I love you so much it hurts sometimes. It's suffocating, crippling and glorious because I'm in love with you."
Blaine raised one of his hands to run it through his hair, before quickly laying it in top of that pale, soft hand again. The other boy shifted slightly and Blaine's breath caught in his throat, but he willed himself to keep talking. He had to keep talking, had to say this or it would clog up in his throat and choke him.
"It doesn't matter that we're sixteen, inexperienced, spent half our lives bullied by ignorant idiots. It doesn't matter that we met a couple of months ago, that we're really just fumbling through life, still stuck in high school. It doesn't matter that we're still new to love and that the rest of the world will say that it's just high school puppy love; because I know that it's not," he took another deep breath, smiling faintly when the other boy shifted closer again. "It's not. It's too real, too palpable and I... I can really picture the future, you know? It's not always happy, it's not perfect, but it's us and I know that we could pull off lives that we'd be proud of if we wanted."
Blaine raised a hand again, but ran it through the other boy's hair this time, gently moving the bangs back in place. He sighed lightly, eyes tracing every inch of the beautiful, peaceful face. He would be happy to spend the rest of forever watching this boy.
"It's just... I know I've been an idiot. I mean, when we first met, I saw you and something clicked. We became best friends unnaturally fast and it felt so right, you know? For the longest time, I really just saw the friendship, didn't see anything beyond that. I thought I fell in love with a guy I'd had coffee with twice, gushed to you about him..." he swallowed and tried to clear his throat. "I was such an ass. I must've broken your heart, but you just smiled and helped me serenade the guy. Had the roles been reversed, I'd never be able to do that. But you just smiled and let your heart break... sure, we worked it out, but it must have hurt. Terribly. And I did that."
Blaine tightened his grip on the hand. "I can't believe you gave me another chance after that. I don't know if I would've been able to, but you did. We remained bestest friends, even when I saw you stare out the windows and sigh in that heart-wrenching, dramatic way of yours," he smiled slightly. "Then, luckily, I saw sense. Well, David made me see sense. It was like he pulled a plug, made me realize so many things and... and... I think I might have been unconsciously in love, you know? From the beginning, I just didn't want to face the feelings, because they're so deep and so real. I won't lie - sometimes being so totally in love scares the crap out of me. But I love it, I love you..."
Blaine bit his lip and shifted even closer, impossibly close, wonderfully close. "I want to give you the world. I want to shake you and yell at you and get you to understand how much I love you. I want to understand why you love me."
He bit his lip and breathed through his nose, hands trembling slightly. Blaine closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them again and letting out another shaky breath. "If you let me, I'll... I'll do anything to make you happy. I'll keep winging it, because I'm bad at romance and I don't know what I'm doing. But if it's for you, I'll keep trying to get it right until the day I die, alright? For you. Because I love you so, so much, Kurt."
Blaine sighed and stroked Kurt's cheek gently. He breathed a little easier now, even if there were still thousands of words piled up on his heart, still thousands of words he needed to say. Even if Kurt was asleep and remained oblivious to the meaningful confessions murmured into his ear.
But for now this was fine; silent declarations of love, fear and some more love, whispered into the night would suffice for the moment.