Okay, so I KNOW I have not updated my stories in like forever, but this one-shot would not leave me alone and I needed to get it out of my system before I continue my other stories. I am SO sorry, but I promise I will update them soon! But anyways, this is basically me wanting to write angst and going totally overboard. I wrote this while listening to the song 'Life Without You' by Stanfour, which is a gorgeous song and one of my favs, so I definitely suggest listening to it while you read. There is no character death in this, but not a happy ending either. I will give nothing more away, but I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for reading! :D :3

Rain Is Just Our Form of Tears

They never did properly warn Tony.

They warned him to stay away from Loki. They told him he was a master of manipulation, of lies and deceit, of chaos and mischief and magic all rolled into one. He was never to be trusted, destined to live under a name that branded him as a monster, someone who was only capable of bringing terror and destruction wherever he went for all of eternity.

They never warned him to watch out for his eyes. Those beautiful, penetrating emerald eyes that could make you feel complete and undone all at the same time. They never warned him how truly spell-binding his magic was, that with a twist of a lean, elegant hand an entire city could see its downfall in the form of transfixing green and gold flames.

And they sure as hell never warned Tony how fucking broken Loki really was.

Tony only really realized this while standing in the rain, the shattered god mere inches away from him, his devastatingly gorgeous eyes fixed upon him. Rain poured down around them, running clearly down Loki's face, which was all sharp angles and striking ink black hair that had started to curl and stick to the sides of his neck. The god was yelling something at Tony, his pale pink lips moving in words of self-hatred and un-paralleled rage and pain that was clearly ripping through him like a jagged knife, and Tony wanted nothing more to run his hands against the warm, wet leather of his armour and make him feel worth something again.

The rain was heavy as it fell, hot and cold at the same time and blinding Tony until all he could see and hear was Loki. He could barely make out what he was saying anymore, but it didn't matter to Tony because god it was like Loki was voicing everything Tony was and feared he could become. Loki was Tony's nightmare version, who had allowed his demons to consume his being until it became him. And Tony was only just realizing how close he had been to that edge, how close he had been to being Loki. But then Afghanistan happened, and then everything else and now suddenly he was Iron Man; an Avenger, a protector of the world, one of its saviours.

But he was no hero.

But maybe he could do something right, something that could even help him truly become one.

Maybe he could save Loki.

It was there, in the pouring rain and god-knows-where, that Tony kissed the god for the first time, cupping his face in his hands and smashing their wet lips together, all passion and desperation and two shattered people only just starting to become whole again. Loki tasted like mint and tea and stale biscuits and warmth and bittersweet magic and something distinctly him and Tony allowed the sensations to fill him, decimate his senses and unwind his deepest desires. It was beautiful and tragic and as Loki deepened the kiss, also giving himself in, Tony started thinking that possibly it could all work out.

And as they eventually broke apart, foreheads resting together, Tony whispering unintelligible words about pain and healing and don't leave and Loki staring at him with such bright, bright eyes, it occurred to them that love possibly did exist…and maybe they could salvage each other enough to make it stay that way.

Except that love in itself is a tragedy, and actions dictated by passion always have consequences.

Like their relationship being discovered.

Like SHIELD imprisoning Loki in an unknown facility in some foreign country, as far away from Tony as possible.

Like them locking Tony in his tower, monitored and shunned by his teammates and Pepper and disappointing everyone even though he felt whole when the god was around and he couldn't bring himself to regret anything that emerged between the two.

Tony spent all of his time in his workshop, drowning in a never-ending whirlpool of thoughts and managing to drink himself into an incomprehensible stupor that he knew Loki would be ashamed of (but he wasn't here and didn't know, so why should Tony even care?).

That was until SHIELD came for him and all but dragged Tony to the top of the tower where the Avengers, Pepper and even Rhodey were all standing. And beside Thor was Loki, shackled and restrained from speaking by a giant muzzle, his mouth (which Tony had long since mapped out) covered by rusty, bitter-tasting silver. Tony wanted to scream, and opened his mouth to do so, prepared to fight his way to Loki despite the agents holding him back with guns pointed directly at his head, but suddenly Loki shook his head, causing Tony to freeze.

He raised those eyes, iridescent as ever, and just stared at Tony. There was pain there, there was an apology, there was memories and sorrow and maybe even a bit of love. There was no regret. Suddenly, he tilted his head up slightly, gesturing to the sky. Tony looked up, and for the first time realized that it was raining outside, the drops suddenly deafening as they hit the tower rapidly. God, it was pouring outside, and Tony was surprised by how clearly he could see everything through it.

Tony looked back down at Loki, and there was suddenly laughter in the god's eyes, illuminating the grey and god-awful scene around them. It's like the first time we kissed. In the rain. He was saying with them, and he just looked so damn beautiful right then. Suddenly, rain wasn't the only thing blurring Tony's vision.

Fury, who Tony hadn't even realized was there until then, was talking, saying that Thor was taking Loki back to Asgard, that Loki was being imprisoned and this was the last time they would ever see the 'supervillain' again. But Tony wasn't listening, not really. Vaguely, he understood the words, felt dread seeping into his bones at what they promised, but he only had eyes for Loki. His Loki, who had dark purple bags under his eyes and was wearing torn up armour that was dotted with dried pools of blood, who was the image of a perfect prisoner, and yet he looked to Tony as stunning as ever, as captivating as all those times they had met. Tony never tired of looking at him, of thinking that Loki was his, that they were probably the world's two most fucked up, self-destructive people and yet they loved each other and healed one another. Tony drank Loki in like a drug, let the god steal every ounce of his heart, and Loki let Tony do the same to him.

And as they watched each other, neither could ever regret it.

Tony wanted to protest when Thor and Loki stepped into the center of the tower's roof, preparing to go to Asgard. But Loki was staring at him and saying don't do it with his eyes, and Tony could never refuse anything the god wanted. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, and felt like a giant, gaping part of him was being ripped away and it hurt.

Everyone, the rest of the Avengers, Pepper, Rhodey, Fury, the SHIELD agents lingering all around, were watching the two of them, eyes flickering back and forth to see what would happen. They were looking at each other as if they were everything, the only people that mattered in this world to the other. And to them, it was achingly true.

Tony wanted to proclaim his love for Loki right then, to say something monumental and magnificent and to show Loki he was worth something, just like he had all that time ago when they first kissed. Instead, Tony simply stated, "The rain is beautiful, isn't it?"

Tony could swear the god was smiling behind the muzzle as the Bifrost swallowed him and Thor up forever.

As much as Tony hated to admit it, life went on.

Eventually the Avengers, Pepper, and the others forgave him. He convinced them that he made a mistake, even though they all knew that was a lie. But he was still Iron Man, still saved the world on a regular basis, was still the world's favourite genius/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist. Things went back to the way they were, and the others practically forgot about what happened between Tony and the god of mischief (or at least acted like they did). SHIELD started to trust him again, at least as much as they trusted him before, and his 'infraction' was overlooked and even eventually taken off the record. Eventually, everything was plunged back to blissful normalcy.

But sometimes Thor would mention Loki in an offhand, casual way, saying that he was fine and even starting to 'heal'. Tony would stay silent at this, torn between laughing and crying, and not venture any further even though he wanted nothing more.

And sometimes, Tony would see it was raining outside, and grab a bottle of his finest scotch. He would go up to the roof and sit on the very edge, right by the giant A. He would tip his glass to the sky, to a realm he couldn't see and the god that he loved who it still held in it.

He would take a giant swig and let the rain blind him, drown him, and let bright green eyes and gorgeously accented words and a stunningly beautiful laugh surround him and cloud his thoughts.

Tony would smile.

Review please? :D