It had been raining when he first
stepped onto platform 9 ¾ that morning, pouring so heavily that the already
nervous new first years were thrown into disarray and were fleeing soaking on to
the Hogwarts Express to cower shivering in the compartments.Even Potter scurried
on to the train after his worthless friends looking like a drowned rat in his
oversized muggle hand me downs while his relatives looked nervously about at all
the wizarding folk. He allowed himself a small snort of amusement at the memory
of Potter shaking with cold and trying desperately to keep his messy wet hair
out of his eyes but that quickly faded. The sky was as black as his mood today.
He turned to say goodbye to his mother and was granted one of her wonderful warm
smiles that had become more and more common recently. Giving into the urge he
ran back into her arms as if he was a child, not a 16 year old and silently
tried to ignore the fact that he just didn't want to leave the safety of her
embrace. Gently she stroked his back, whispered words of comfort and
encouragement and then urged him onto the train.
She had really blossomed in the short time since Lucius' death, like a flower
having its first experience of the sun she had opened to him in a way he'd never
known in childhood. When the day that he'd feared his whole life had happened
she'd looked so frail standing there next to Dumbledore in the Great Hall and
he'd known instantly that his father had been killed. Standing slowly he'd made
his way over to her holding his head high and feeling the gaze of every other
student burning his neck. He held back the tears until he was out of sight then
broke down, burying his pain in the side of her neck and not caring about the
hand of Dumbledore drawing soothing circles on his shoulder to calm his sobs.
Lucius had been distant, removed and often brutal in his treatment of his son
but it didn't lessen the pain and grief of his passing.
Later in Dumbledore's office his sorrow had quietened down to hitching breaths
and he was told the tale. Voldemort had been destroyed by an uprising of the
death eaters who had grown tired of his obsessive and manic behaviour towards
Potter and his lack of interest in power. Sickening of talks of revenge they had
plotted quietly and then took the first opportunity presented. This news did not
surprise him as his father had been one of the key players in Voldemort's
downfall and he'd been aware of the plot from the beginning of his sixth year at
Hogwarts. He was also aware of the consequences. A massive power struggle had
ensued between the surviving death eaters to claim the position of Dark Lord
which lead to widespread fighting among them. His father had been killed by one
of those death eaters who saw him as too much of a threat, causing a
large enough explosion to kill several other death eaters and nearby muggles
too. Now the ministry was simply wiping up the mess and sending aurors out
against the remaining death eaters who were too busy squabbling to defend
themselves. There was no war between good and evil. Evil had simply rotted from
the inside out.
'Which one killed him?'he asked.
'Nott'
Dumbledore had offered to let him return home (with the agreement of Snape) for
the rest of the year since it was almost over anyway and he would return at the
beginning of his seventh year. When he'd looked into Dumbledore's eyes he'd been
shocked to see emotions he recognised but had never once been aimed in his
direction by anyone in his life: Kindness, empathy, understanding. Then he'd
been rushed away by his mother and ever since then his whole world had revolved
around her.
Now as he settled into an empty compartment and waited for the Slytherin hordes
to descend he gazed out the window at her shadowy form under the large black
umbrella. As he raised his hand goodbye he saw her lips move.
`Goodbye Sweetheart. Take care. I love you.'
And his own brand new smile came unbidden to the surface. Three little words had
gone a long way to heal the gash that had opened in his heart, the fact that
there was at least one person in the world that loved him unconditionally and he
knew about it.
`I love you too… mama' he whispered as the train began to move feeling a spark
of pleasure at the ability to say those words but knowing in his heart of hearts
that something was still missing. A part of his heart that the love of his
mother could never fill but what could…he had no idea. Slumping back against his
seat he fell into pointless thought staring at the blurred scenery flying past.
*~*~*
Harry stumbled up the moving train trying not to bump into the other students
milling around the corridor and trying to get his goddamn hair off his face so
he could see where Ron and Hermione had got to. Peeping into the first
compartment he quickly retreated with a jerk. Ginny Weasley and her gaggle of
giggling Gryffindors had made his life somewhat difficult for the past two years
and getting dragged into their midst and cooed over was not his idea of fun at
all.
`Would rather wrestle a hippogriff' he mumbled to himself.
Sneaking forward he dared a look in the next compartment along and was greeted
by the sight of Neville Longbottom's rear end waving in the air as he searched
frantically for something he seemed to have lost in his trunk on the floor which
no doubt he had forgotten and would be owled to him the next morning. Chuckling
Harry moved on through the train searching for his friends waving at the people
he did know and ducking away from those he didn't who gawped openly at the
little lightning shaped scar on his forehead. He'd never get used to the amount
of attention directed at him because of something so small though he understood
the significance behind it and the expectations attached to it. Though now he'd
never get the chance to live up to those expectations: Voldemort was dead and he
wasn't all that sure how he felt about it. He was glad that the danger was
mostly over and people would be safe but somehow he felt cheated, incomplete, as
though he was missing a purpose.
Still musing he peeped into the next compartment and paused for a moment to look
at the lone figure within. Malfoy. The slim pale boy was slumped in the corner
of the compartment with his long legs aimed carelessly in front of him. His hair
was longer than he remembered, tickling the sides of Malfoy's cheeks and soft
looking without the typical cement like gel. He had gained some bulk compared to
last year but so had many of the students after nearly two years on a diet of
fear and terror. He wasn't as…pretty as he used to be, but the sharp angular
planes of his face had softened somewhat into the expressive lines of someone
leaving boyhood. Chewing on his bottom lip and ignoring the drip of ice cold
water making its way between his shoulder blades he tried to figure out exactly
what it was that struck him as different about Malfoy apart from the physical.
Without the usual superior sneer on his face and with the way his shoulders
slouched he actually looked rather vulnerable. Lost.
He looked so different from that last time Harry had set eyes on him, he had
strode towards his mother with his head high like he didn't care the whole
school had guessed the reason she was there but he'd seen Malfoy's hands
clenched the way they did when he knew a fight with Harry was coming. He'd
glanced him on the platform earlier, a blond light through the rain, wrapped up
in his mothers arms like Hogwarts was a nightmare he didn't want to face and it
had surprised Harry to see him so open with emotions like that. For some reason
he never imagined that Malfoy could express affection.
`Harry! We're in here!' hollered the freckled bushfire sticking its head out of
a compartment ahead `What are you doing standing there?'
Hearing the shout Malfoy's head snapped round and grey eyes collided with green.
Brief shock registered on the pale face in front of him and Malfoy flinched
slightly as if expecting a blow before his expression closed completely and he
simply sat there, staring at Harry and waiting. Harry quickly ducked his head,
long wet black locks covering his glasses, to break that icy stare and backed
away towards Ron. It just didn't feel right to say anything to Malfoy when he
was still so obviously grieving. Putting the odd sensation of wanting to comfort
him out of his mind Harry headed into his friends compartment. He would leave
Malfoy to his pain.
