Daryl knew there were two kind of fear. The first kind was fear of things you can control and the second was the fear of things you have no control over. This was the latter; the worst fear where you know you are just along for the ride, waiting to see where fate spits you out.
He told her to buckle up, and she did. He couldn't remember being so scared in a long time.
He heard the thudding hands outside of the van and the cacophony of snarls. He could feel the van rocking precariously, and had the sudden urge to run, which was silly and impossible. She looked over at him, and he could see from the corner of his eye that she was also very afraid. He braced himself on the dashboard, as if he could hold it up this way. The van tipped forward. He felt her warm hand encompass his own, and he looked over at her. His heart ached.
"You hold on," he said. Words that meant so much more than he could express.
She squeezed her eyes shut tight and held onto his hand.
The van took a final vault forward and shuddered off of the bridge. The feeling was sickening but fast, and then with shocking intensity they hit the ground. He was afraid to know but he forced himself to look at her. She seemed okay. "We're alive." he gasped. For a moment he was relieved, as he watched her unbuckle her seat belt.
Then the bodies of the clawing, growling things started falling from above, smashing into the van and being pulverized on the ground all around them. It startled them both, but then after awhile the noise died down, and everything was still.
Daryl unbuckled his restraint, "You ok, Carol?"
He got out of his seat and knelt beside her, pushing up the arm rest, and checking her over for injuries. At the same time he was so afraid that the worst injuries could be unseen.
"I think," she replied, "My shoulder is a hurting, but all things considered, I'm not going to complain."
"Oh god," Daryl said, burying his head on her chest in relief, "I was so worried about you, I thought we were gonna die."
He breathed her in, as he forced away the tears that were threatening to fall . He loved her so much he sometimes thought she would break him if she looked at him the wrong way. The thought of losing her was something he couldn't bear. He hadn't told her his feelings because he was afraid of the consequences, and of being rejected. It was stupid to be afraid of something he could control when death loomed at their doorstep day and night.
Daryl lifted his head, their eyes met, and that was it.
He impulsively leaned into her, pressing his lips to hers. There was no tentativeness. He was fully committed to this kiss. Carol stiffened for a moment but then melted into it, and she ran her fingers through his hair, and god that small touch was the most amazing feeling Daryl had ever felt.
They broke apart and looked at each other.
Carol's eyes were beautiful, bright and wide with surprise. Her lips were still slightly parted, and for once she didn't seem to have anything to say. Then all at once she was getting out of her seat and climbing on top of him, kissing him desperately as he was struggling to keep up.
"Shit, my shoulder," she said into his mouth.
"You ok?" He asked again. He couldn't really think of anything else to say. His mind was spinning from the intoxicating feeling of her body pressed to his. Daryl groaned as she started unbuttoning his shirt. It was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.
"I think so, but it does hurt. This isn't going to work," she said dropping his shirt.
Daryl's face fell, "I'm...sorry."
Carol rolled her eyes, "No, I mean jammed in between these seats like this. Let's go in the back."
"Oh, thank God," Daryl said.
Carol chuckled at that.
They made their to the back of the van. Carol took off her jacket, and Daryl knew that she meant business. They knelt in front of one another. He looked at her for a moment. She had a look on her face that was full of mischief, despite the fact that she seemed to be in some discomfort. He pulled her gently toward him.
"Careful," she said, her hands busy unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. She put her palms on his stomach, and slid them along to this back and he thought he might come undone from that. Her soft hands felt amazing on his skin.
In one motion she reached up and pushed off his vest and shirt, taking Daryl by surprise, but making him even hungrier for her. He tentatively pulled up on her shirt, but she playfully smacked away his hand and did it herself very carefully, "Sorry, my shoulder…"
"'s okay," Daryl could see her wounded shoulder, and was about to say something about it when she grabbed him around the waist, pressing herself fully to him, and he felt her bare stomach touching his. He reached his fingers around, running her hands up her back. He had imagined himself doing this so many times, but the feel of her under his fingers made him weaker than he could have imagined.
When she pulled him close he knew she could feel his excitement pressed against her and he blushed. As if she sensed this she ran her hands down his back and grabbed his ass pulling him against her tighter, he groaned, "Yer killin' me." as she kissed his neck.
He felt powerless in her arms, but he knew he was getting dangerously too close, so he pulled away from her, giving her just enough distance that she reached for his belt buckle.
"Wait," he said, "Slow down."
"Listen, Daryl," She said still fumbling with his belt buckle, "We've been doing the foreplay for two years. This isn't going to take long."
Daryl laughed an actual belly laugh. She did surprise him sometimes. He wrapped her into a hug thwarting her progress on his belt, and kissing her quickly on the lips, "I love you."
Carol became still and looked at him with her crystal blue eyes, "I loved you, first."
"Nobody likes a one upper," Daryl said, and they both giggled.
Daryl let her go, and behind them there was a stretcher leaning against the wall, he tipped it down, and said, "That's a little better." He gently lifted her onto their makeshift bed, and lowered himself on top of her, kissing her gently.
The stretcher was a bit wobbly but they made due with it, and with minimal fumbling they became more than friends. Carol was right about it not taking very long for either of them. Emotionally exhausted and half dressed they cuddled into one another.
"I could use a cigarette," Daryl said.
"They're gonna kill you," Carol teased.
"Yer gonna kill me," Daryl said.
Carol started giggling uncontrollably.
"Not sure if that's a good sign," Daryl smirked.
"I was just thinking, 'if the van is a rockin' don't come a knockin'" she said, "and that's so stupid but now I can't stop laughing about it."
He looked down and was taken by how beautiful she looked . Her hand was covering her mouth and her eyes were smiling. At that moment it was everything, and he felt fearless.