Christmas Promise
A/N: Obviously, if you haven't seen "Extraordinary Merry Christmas" then proceed with caution. That said, this came about because the episode in question apparently ran long, and the scene all Kurt/Blaine fans were dying to see, ended up on the cutting room floor. However, details surfaced quickly enough that in the cut scene where Blaine gives Kurt a Christmas gift, it's a ring. A specific kind. I think the idea is adorable. But I was even more interested in how Burt would take it. And because writing Kurt and Burt having emotional moments with each other is my crack, this happened.
The first time Burt sees it his heart clenches tight in his chest and he can't breathe. It's a bit like when he had his heart attack, but not quiet, because this time his adrenaline is pumping, his mind is racing, and all he can see is the ring on Kurt's long, delicate finger, in place and representing something Burt isn't ready to face. It's jarring and more than a little scary.
Burt isn't ready to give his baby up. Or away, for that matter. Regardless if his baby is a hair away from eighteen, tall, and whether Burt can admit it or not, a man now.
They're at the shop, and Burt's bent over the open hood of a Chevy, checking an air filter. That's when Burt sees it, when Kurt comes around the corner, just back from school, looking pristine and a little tired, but genuinely happy. These days it's hard to find Kurt not happy, which is a startling and wonderful change from just short of a year ago. Burt wishes he could be the reason for the change, not some curly haired kid from two hours away who is a little too honest and a little too gentlemanly.
Burt's got it on good authority from Carole's multitude of self help books that it's perfectly normal for single fathers to feel jealous towards their child's first real, serious romantic relationship. Granted, Burt's not single anymore, and Kurt's probably not the chaste little girl the books have in mind, but close enough. Before Carole, Kurt was all Burt had, so yes, he feels a little jealousy towards the one person who can take his baby from him. And yes, he believes it's healthy. But no, Kurt never needs to know.
Kurt's prattling on about Christmas. He wants it to be big, and magical, and unforgettable. For Burt, it has to be. It's going to be the last Christmas they have together, at the house, as a family. Then Kurt's off to New York, and Burt's going to pray he has the time and money to come home next Christmas.
Burt looks over at him, probably to tell Kurt he can do whatever he wants, it's easier just to give Kurt his way most of the time, when Burt sees it. It's there, flashing against the high ceiling lights, looking so out of place to Burt that he wants to rip it off Kurt's finger, and throw it away.
"What," he asks, trying desperately to keep his voice even, "is that?"
Kurt looks down at himself, eyebrows furrowing. "The same fantastic ensemble you saw me in this morning during breakfast?" Kurt gives a quick twirl, all legs and androgyny. It makes Burt's stomach plummet sometimes, to know how beautiful his son is, and how it both hinders him, and makes him a target. But then there are also times, moments more rare now that before, that he looks at Kurt and there's the love of his life. There's his Grace, hidden in Kurt's eyes, and the tone of his skin, and the strands of his hair. Those moments make everything else bearable.
Burt swallows hard. "On your finger."
It's not a wedding ring. It's not. Burt braces himself as Kurt holds his finger up, a bit dreamy in his expression. It can't be a wedding ring. Kurt is seventeen. He still needs parental permission. And furthermore, unless he skipped second period to fly to New York and tie the knot, there's no a preacher in a hundred miles who'd marry Kurt and his very male boyfriend. It's not a wedding ring. But god, it's probably a promise ring.
Kurt blushes a bit, face heating. "I think I've been boring Blaine to death these past few weeks." He elaborates, "The Elizabeth Taylor collection just released its new line. Dad, they're the most beautiful rings I've ever seen in my life. Gorgeous."
Soft features, Burt thinks, nodding. Kurt could wear a female ring. He has soft features. His broad shoulders and height and everything about him that's masculine, can probably make up for the ring, and create a perfect mixture. And Kurt's always like the shiny, beautiful things. His tiara collection still exists, locked away in a trunk, in the attic. One day Burt hopes Kurt has a little girl, a princess, and he has a reason to open the trunk once more.
"Blaine gave you a … Taylor ring?" It's so hard to get the words out. It's not an engagement ring. But it has to be a promise ring. His baby's boyfriend is giving him a promise ring. It's practically a step away from an engagement ring.
Kurt laughs, voice pitched high, smile warming to look at. "No. Not a chance. Dad, the cheapest ring in the Elizabeth Taylor collection is still completely out of reach for anyone in Ohio. Blaine would never … he couldn't … it's not an Elizabeth Taylor ring."
Kurt's right. Burt doesn't know anything about rings. The last ring he bought was for Carole, and she was with him. But he's getting a pretty good look at Kurt's finger now. He reaches out and holds his son's thin wrist carefully. "What is that material?" It's silver in color, but it's certainly not real silver. It's smooth, but there are hidden wrinkles in the form, and Burt for the life of him can't figure out what he's looking at. It's a nice distraction from the fact that his son has a ring on his finger.
Kurt shuffles forward a little, and after a quick look to Joe, who's working on a Ford across the shop, and Finn who's just coming through the office all the way in the back, he says, "Blaine wanted to get me a ring."
Burt nearly drops Kurt's hand. "What kind of ring?" Certainly not a chastity ring. Burt's all about honesty with Kurt, and the honest truth is that Burt isn't an idiot. He's noticed the growing frequency in which Kurt's been spending the night over at Rachel's, and Mercedes, and half a dozen other girl's houses that provide the perfect cover. He's been hard pressed to miss the crinkled condom wrappers carefully hidden under crunched paper in the waste basket. And no matter what Kurt thinks, Burt knows him better than anyone else. And Burt has seen the glow to Kurt. He knows what the glow is from. It's hard to miss the glow, once you experience it yourself, and know first had what it is. It's been a long time since Burt lost his own virginity, but the glow doesn't change.
"You know," Kurt says gently, "that Blaine and I have plans, right?"
To move to New York. To get a duplex with Finn and Rachel. To get on Broadway. To get married. To adopt a bunch of babies. To be together until they're old and wrinkled and watching their grandchildren grow up and fall in love. "Yes." Burt grinds down on this teeth.
"Dad."
Burt blinks up at him suddenly, a little startled at the tone.
Kurt's eyes water too frequently. They're shiny with unshed tears now. Kurt broaches, "I love him, dad. I want to marry him. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm not completely clueless, and I know we're not perfectly compatible. We have fights, the same as anyone else. And I guess next year, when I go to college and he's stuck here, we'll really test our relationship for the first time. But I love him. I do. And he makes me feel like no one else has. He didn't just want to get me a ring because I've been talking about them."
Hoarse, Burt reminds, "You're seventeen."
"It's a promise ring," Kurt interrupts. "It's a promise from him to me, that he'll be faithful, and honest. Those are the two most important things. He'll never cheat on me, and he'll end our relationship the moment he falls out of love. I've promised the same to him. I think it's very mature for our age. Don't you?"
Burt's thumb rubs the soft skin of Kurt's inner wrist. "I gotta admit," Burt said, giving a bit of a laugh, "I kind of thought he'd come to me first, if he was gonna give you a ring."
"He probably wanted to, knowing Blaine. But I think he's embarrassed about it."
Burt feels a burst of anger.
"No," Kurt corrects. "Not embarrassed of me. Of the ring."
And then it finally hits Burt what he's looking at. The ring. It's not silver or platinum. It's not even solid. It's impossibly fragile, and probably shouldn't even be called a ring. It's nothing but a series of gum wrappers, pressed together shiny side up, in the form a ring.
"Blaine's parents are thinking of separating."
This is the first Burt's ever heard of it. Usually when Kurt talks about Blaine it's where the teenager took him on their date, or how they're coordinating their clothing, or what song they're singing for Glee. It's never this personal, and never this intimate in nature.
"Getting a divorce?" Burt asks. He lets Kurt hand drop away. As he does it, the feelings of shock and anxiety from earlier go with the motion.
Kurt nods. "His father's been having some financial difficulties. He lost his job about a month ago. His mother doesn't really have an work history to fall back on. She's relied on him for most of Blaine's life. So they're having trouble right now. Blaine's very tight lipped, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything, but it's a growing problem."
Burt thinks about Blaine, who's always come off as this rich, posh kid. The kind of kid and Burt and his buddies used to beat up for thinking they were better than everyone else. The kid drives a decent car, used to go to Dalton, and Burt can personally attest to the tuition there, and always seems to have some new fancy clothes every time Burt sees him.
"He couldn't afford to get me a real ring," Kurt continues, something akin to pride on his face. "Blaine's got a part time job now. He's giving everything he makes to his parents, which isn't much, but it also isn't leaving him much for himself. The fact remains, he couldn't afford to get me any kind of ring, let alone the one I was talking about. But he loves me, dad, just as much as I love him, and he wanted to do something."
Kurt holds up his hand, rotating it a little, like Burt sees ladies do with their real diamond rings. Then Kurt smiles, bright and so in love with the boy in question. "I think it's better than any Elizabeth Taylor collection ring. I think it's absolutely divine." Kurt sighs a bit and Burt knows they've reached the moment. It's the moment Burt's been dreading since Kurt was born.
When Kurt was born, five weeks early and with weak lungs, Burt promised himself, and Grace, that he would never let anything happen to their baby. And when Grace died, destroyed by months of Chemo and radiation treatments, he made the promise again. There were times in his life when he was sure he'd failed, those hard years in Kurt's early teenage stages in particular. But Burt kept trying, and kept making the same promise. He never, not for one moment, believed he could keep that promise by letting Kurt fall in love. It's a hard pill to swallow.
"Really?" Burt nudges a little. "You spend all that time and money with your clothes, and you're happy with a little gum wrapper ring?"
Defensively, Kurt hugs the strap of his satchel to his chest. "Yes," he answers, no hesitation and complete honesty. "Because Blaine gave it to me."
"And it's a promise ring?" Burt has to ask again.
"Something tells me," Kurt says, aware of Finn converging on their presence, "that when we're all a little older, and ready, the next ring I get from Blaine won't be a promise ring. It won't be made of gum wrappers, either."
"Hey!" Finn announces, bounding up to them.
Kurt adds quickly, "And he'll ask. You know he will."
Kurt isn't a girl. He's a little soft, and more emotional than others, but that's it. He's no girl. But Blaine will ask. He'll come to Burt, and he's ramble on about the ways in which he loves Kurt. He'll promise Burt he'll be faithful, and take care of Kurt, and keep him happy. He'll show Burt the ring, and talk about how it's the one Kurt's been eyeing for months, maybe longer. He'll tell Burt that Kurt will always come first, and how he's not trying to take Kurt from him, and how much he loves Burt, too. He'll say all these things to Burt, likely too fast and too nervously, and then he'll ask for Burt's blessing.
Burt will give it.
"What's going on?" Finn asks, looking between them.
"Nothing," Kurt says, tucking his hands behind his back.
"Nothing," Burt echoes, still trying to come to terms with the situation. He's more accepting now, less in danger of feeling his heart skip a beat or two, but still in shock. Attempting to shake the idea of Kurt and Blaine and a future wedding from his mind, Burt asks Finn, "What did you get Rachel for Christmas?"
Kurt bursts out laughing, bending forward to brace his hands on his knees. Burt can see the ring again. But oddly enough, this time it conjures a new feeling in him. Content bubbles up in his chest. For some reason, and in no less than split second, the ring has gone from meaning he's loosing Kurt, to ensuring that Kurt's going to be happy, and loved, and cherished and appreciated and wanted. The ring symbolizes all of the good things Burt has ever wanted for him, and fought to give him the chance to have.
"It's not funny!" Finn crosses his arms and scowls at Kurt.
Kurt keeps laughing, the cheap, easily bent ring shining dully against the lights in the shop.
Burt decides Kurt's right. It's better than any Elizabeth Taylor collection ring. It reminds Burt of the daisy necklace he made Grace at their first picnic together, the one she pressed into a book later, and which eventually ended up in a memory album Burt helped her make for Kurt shortly after her diagnosis. Burt won't be surprised at all if Kurt's still got the ring fifty years from now. Burt's still got the necklace. Some things, Burt knows, really are all about the thought, and not at all about the means.
"Dude," Finn asks loudly, "is that a ring on your finger?"
Kurt straightens up, looking a little unsure.
Burt claps Finn on the shoulder. "Give me a hand with changing this air filter?"
Kurt spins the ring on his finger and beams.
Letting go of Kurt isn't easy, but knowing he's going to Blaine, doesn't make it as hard as Burt thought it would be. And in this situation, Burt thinks he's pretty much lucking out, maybe more than Kurt.