Here is something you don't see everyday, hee hee....^_^ *sings the Sailor Garv theme song* From the hyperactively bored minds of my alter-ego, the Adept Lina, and the inevitably funny Trickster Priest Ssj Xelloss!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
Within a flash of rose-colored light, and a swirl of scented purple (don't ask) rosepetals, a solitary figure appears. As the light fades, it is seen to be the figure of a young girl-child-
************************
Phibby GIRL!!!! :(
Rayven BUT....BUT! You look more like a girl!!!! O.O
Phibby NANI!!?!?! *holds one of those mega-spells in hand*
Rayven *eeps and goes back to typing*
*************************
....young BOY, who is dressed in a dark blue tunic trimmed with gold. He stops walking and fixes his eyes on his oppenent, golden eyes glittering in the light....A wind arises from nowhere and blows back his hair in the typical dramatic anime-style pose as he gazes at the warring figures in front of him.
"LINA INVERSE!!!!!!! Stop where you are!!!" Phibby commanded.
Lina ignores him and continues to try prying away her Rezo's staff.
"AWWWWH!!! Come ON Rezo!!! Lemme have it!!!!!" she squeals.
"NO! HELL NO!!!!" Rezo shouts and tries to shake off Lina, who has planted both feet on his chest in an attempt to lever the staff away! Phibby perks up at the "hell". I KNEW I was needed! he thinks. YAAAY! My first job! Whee!
"PLEAAAAAASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've wanted it for so long!!!!!! Its just too jingly!!!!"
Phibby face-faults at this horrid treatment! They were INGORING HIM! HIM Sailor Chibi! Stamping a small foot he yells- "REZO DANGIT you called for ME!!"
Rezo does the equivalent of a blind blink (dont ask again ^_^ I'M writing this so there!!) and almost- almost- lets go of the staff. " I called YOU?!" He turns his face right and left, trying to sense where this newcomer was.
Lina, still ignoring Phibby, jerks mightily on the staff, but somehow Rezo keeps ahold of it. "Your tricks shant work on me Lina-!!!!!" the priest gasps out as she kicks in a not-nice place.
"ARE YOU TWO FINISHED PLAYING NOW!?!?!?!?!?!?!? CHIBI HELLMASTER POOOOWAH!!!" ( I swear they say that in Sailor Moon sometimes......o.o()() )
Another swirl of rose petals and lavender ylight surrounds Phibby, and his body looses its clothes, becoming transparent and rainbow-colored with power, as Phibby begins to twirl, trailing petals. 'Oooooh-ing' music abounds-
*************************
Phibby Allright, BIRDY enough!!!
Rayven O.o
Lina For God's sake.....Don't go into detail......
Rezo Absoloutely NO comment....
Rayven GEEEEEZ Guys........*Lina glares at her for the 'Guys'* *Ray wails* Whyyyy do you guuuy alwaaaaaaaays wanna beat meeeeeeeeee???
************************
-and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster steps out in a pink fuku, tacky plastic pink boots, fluffy bows at the breast and rear (XD), but thank GOD no pink rabbit-hair........(O.k. guys I love Sailor Moon actually but this is done in the name of humor! ^.~ No fireballing of Rayven!! NO! 'RUKA!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!!! AIIIEEEEEEEE! *is toasted* Itai....) Phibby turns to the side, showing off his girly form, and strikes the Moonie pose, two fingers culed to palm, pinky, index and thumb fingers extended. He smiles, and the golden eyes glitter with mischievious evil as an image of flames appear behind him.
"I am Sailor Chibi Hellmaster and in the name of Hell I SHALL punish you! I will do wrongs and triumph over all good! Prepare to be vaporized, Dragon-Spooker! Its MY turn to take out the garbage instead of Garv this time!!!! WAHAHAAHHAAHA!"
Lina's head whips around and her jaw drops with an audible ker-plunk......Rezo takes this golden oppurtunity and plants a boot in her face, wrenching his staff away and hightailing it into the forest with a dramatic swirl of red robes. Phibby takes notes on a pink notepad with purple ink. Mutters .."Tips on escaping with style.....not that I will ever need it...."
A moment later, Lina recovers a bit, though she still looks green at the edges, a bit blue too in some spots. She spots the Hellmaster in a...PINK...fuku again...with....PINK boots... and falls back, stiffly, legs and fingers twitching, eyes gone all swirly n' stuff. @_@ (*author takes a break now* be right back, I'm thirsty....Lina wanna come?)
Sailor Chibi Hellmaster raises one lil hand, thinking that THIS was THE oppurtunity! The enemy is paralyzed with total fear of my terrifying form! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! Smirking, Chibi Hellmaster steps tword the thoroughly cowed Lina. He powerposes like his idol-in-life, Sailor Garv, and raises on silkly be-gloved-
****************************
Rayven *returns from nabbing a Mtn. Dew and Chips Ahoy, only to find Phibby furiously typing, thinking she's gone* HEY YOU!!!!!!!!
Phibby *freezes and looks up at Rayven, using the chibi-eye thing as a weapon* *9.9*
Rayven GYAAAH!!! NOOO! NOOOT THE EYES!!! REZO-SAMA HELP!
Rezo *dosent look up from his book, licks a finger and turns a page from one of Ray's Dragonlance novels, having appropriated the Bird's most comfy chair, staff propped against it* (Note allusion to my fav Dragonlance char, whahaha)
Rayven*starting to feel the effects of the eyes* LINA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks desperate*
Lina *only rattles around the kitchen, plundering ruthlessly last night's sphaghetti, a few steaks, three-foot high sandwiches, etc, having been invited on a bad impulse to 'eat all you like' from Ray*
Phibby *eyes get impossibly, innocently larger, and MORE kawaii sparklies appear* **O.O**
Rayven*face-falls, then rolls the sleeves of her black dragony t-shirt up* THAT'S IT HELLBRAT!!!!!!! ~~I'M~~ THE AUTHOR HERE!
Phibby *jumps up and RUNS, scared at this unexpected turn of events, leaving a Phibby-shaped hole in the wall, with his horns showing an HUGE imprint!*
Rayven *mutter mutter* I always KNEW he must've used an invisibility spell on those.....*looks at monitor* ACK! What has he done? Oh well I'm too lazy to redo it....*hears an odd sound behind her, and whips around* Nani!!!
Rezo *is snickering behind the cover of the book, perilously close to rolling on the floor laughing his butt off, which would please the author to no end!!!!*
*****************************
(Now where was I.....) .....hand, summoning the Pink Sugar-Thing sceptere. Holding it high, he prepares to do what the bad guys in Slayers always wanted to do: Destroy the Dragon Spooker! ( NO FIREBALLS LINA! I gave you free run of the kitchen, OK?!?!?!?!?!) Only- the sceptere wasnt there.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It Always worked in training!!!" Chibi-Hellmaster wailed, desparately shaking his hands, trying to make it appear.
Lina grunts on the ground, awakening.
Phibby gets a blue look over his face. "COME on work!!!!!!!" Jumping up and down, pink fuku flapping in that said breeze.
Lina's eyes snap open and they fix in utter horror on Phibby. "OH MY GOD!! Not another Fuku-happy guy! What next?? Rezo in a Fuku!!?!?!?"
***************************
Rayven Uhhhhhhh.....Lina?
Lina HE DIDNT!!!! O_o
Rezo *blushes demurely*
**************************
"......scratch that....ZEL in a fuku next?!?!!"
Chibi-Hellmaster, hurt "But......but....WAIT I'm the Hellmaster here!" He raises the arm again, and a little gold sceptere with pink crystal on top appears in his hand. "HEELLL DESTROOOOYING PRINCESS HAAAALIATION!!!!" A rather large blob of magenta goo flies from nowhere (maybe Candyland?) and glomps itself on a halpless Lina, who once again finds herself with swirly eyes and eating dirt.
Sailor Chibi-Hellmaster powerposes like his idol once again. "I have PUNISHED you!!! MUHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" Lightning flashes in the distance, and Phibby throws back his black-crowned head in glee, cackling....He dosent notice that Lina loved Candyland, the candy especially....She hops up, chanting, her aura flaring an astonishing orange.
"DRAGOOOON SLAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
From his position, now rather astonishingly high in the air, Fibby notes that Lina hasnt been defeated! Tomorrow is another day. and I'll join up with my idol, *moonie eyes* Sailor Garv!!!!!!!! "Hee hee hee hee!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
Garv looks up as Fibby crash lands next to him. "Oh no! Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" Garv jumps up and runs over. "Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,who has done this to you?" He leaned over just in tie to hear Fibby mumble "Dragonspooker..." Garv clenched his fist while Fibby went back to being KO'ed. "Lina Inverse,you will pay for this! Chaos Dragon Power!!!!" Garv swirls around,clothes dissapearing in a bright array of colors. Red bows go into place at the chest and back while Garv's body archs. Garv swirls around one more time before powerposing.
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!" SG runs off to avenge Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,leaping up on roofs and panty-flashing innocent bystanders. Valgarv stands next to Chibi Hellmaster's prone body,waving his banner,"My hero!"
~~Dramatic music plays~~ What will happen next? Will Sailor Chibi Hellmaster ever defeat anyone? Will Tuxedo Dynast make a appearance? Will Garv ever shave his legs?! Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhwhiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkk.... ...baaaaaaaka.....lina.........diiiiiiie.......
His eyes still swirly, Chibi Hellmaster drags himself to his feet, using Val to drag himself up. "I must fight.....I have no choice!ITAI!" Phibby squares those girly shoulders and sets off after Garv, singed fuku swirling in that damn breeze. Vallie-kuns-
*******************
(Another annoying author interruption....: ))
Rayven *has hearts for eyes* White-haired bishonen....
Lina DOWN GIRL DOWN!
Rezo *WHACKS them both with staff to shut them up and goes back to reading Dragonlance* ^_^
*******************
-is being dragged behind by Phibby, who takes one look at the rooftops Garv so recently bounced over..and notes the swirly-eyed innocents that were panty-flashed!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! I wanna do that toooo!!!!" Chibi now tries to go rooftop-panty-flashing too but cant...Instead he throws globs of pink..(ACK) MAGENTA! stuff at said bystanders..Pouting he takes the long way, wading through the masses of ko'ed ones, some singed from panties, some wif pi- magenta stuff on them. Vallie-kuns still drags behind Phibby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And a word from our sponsers:
BUY BUY BUY SAILOR GARV ACESSORIES!!!!!
we Have:
**********Panties!!!!!!!!!!Flash your friends!
*********Boots with THE Sailor Garv powerposing!!
*******Pillows!
******Plushies!
****Action Figure!
**Lunchboxes!!
ANNNNND OUR EVER POPULAR......
!!!!!!**SAILOR GARV BISHOJO HAIR-REMOVER CREAM!!!**!!!!!!
BUY NOW AT YOUR LOCAL SAILOR G-MARKET!!!!!
(Valgrav and Chibi Hellmaster not included)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*************
Rezo I WILL not ask where you got that idea, Bird.
Rayven*giggling, cackling, insanely* EEHAhAHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
*************
Far away......
Lina looks up as she sees that all-too-familiar flash of leghair, accompanied by the earth-shaking thump of HIS arrival. She pauses, Rezo's staff in hand as she stole it while he was reading... (R-chan NAAAAANI!!! LINA YOU @#$%!!)
"NOOOOOO!!!its Sailor Garv!!! AIIIIEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!", she barfs. "GO AWAY YOU FREAK!!!!"
To be continued. Same Garv-time! Same Garv-place
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
~~When we last left our heros,Chibi Hellmaster was running over ko'ed innocent bystanders,Valgarv dragged behind him,while the big hairy red guy (SG) arrived to confront Lina~~
Garv ignored the sound of puking as he landed, magnificently flashing his manly leghairs. He assumed the traditional sailor pose.
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!"
*************************************************
Another word from our sponsers~~~
Fibby is in a kitchen eating breakfast. "But mom! I'm sick of eating the same stuff for breakfast!"
The tv suddenly turns on.
("Greetings fans! I'm Sailor Garv,here to tell you to buy "SG's Wheaties". If you wanna grow up to be big,strong and manly like me,eat "SG's Wheaties". Also available with SG,Val and Hellmaster marshmallows. Now advailable at supermarkets everywhere!")
"Oh wow! I wanna be just like SG,my idol!" Fibby drags mom off screen. Later is seen happily munching on "SG's Wheaties".
We now continue~~~~
************************************************
Garv sneered. "Lina Inverse,you shall pay for what you did to Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" A wand suddenly appears in SG's hand and starts glowing. Sailor Garv does some artistic moves with it then points it at Lina.
"Chaos Dragon Halatioooooooooooooooooon!"
Red and black waves flow out of the wand,nailing Lina who was too shocked to move. Lina went flying over a building. Sailor Garv posed,"Victory!"
He suddenly felt like he was being watched. SG whirled around,only to find Chibi Hellmaster and Valgarv standing at the corner,staring in awe. Valgarv started waving his banner wildy,"Yayyy!" Chibi Hellmaster jumped into the air,"Wahoooo!" "Ahhh,my faithful sidekicks. Come,we must celebrate this victory." After saying this,SG proudly lead them to the nearest bar. A few minutes later,Lina slowly got up from where she'd fallen. "Grrrrrr,they are SO DEAD!!!!!!!!"
~~~What will happen next? Will Lina find our heros? Will our heros get f*cking drunk? Will Tuxedo Dynast ever drag his lazy @$$ over here?! Keep watching to find out,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now a recap of yesterdays THRILLING episode!
Our hero Sailor Garv *insert cheesy cheering da-dam-daaa-daaa!music* had defeated the infamous minion of good, Lina Inverse! But wait?! Is that Lina getting out of the ruins, battle-aura sparking?! Oh no! Heroes watch out! She's back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lina cackles insanely...."Oh ye...oh....YES! THEY shall DIE!!!!! ARRRGH!!! I'm not fooling anymore! GRRRRRRRRRRR....." Shoving another peice of rubble away, she stalks away in search of the trio.
Meanwhile~~
Our heroes were having quite a ball at the bar! Chibi Hellmaster was breakdancing on the counters, knocking over drinks with his tacky boots into the laps of any beautiful ladies he sees! (Then again after 6 beers a chibi would even think that a horse was a beautiful woman....OR Garv...*Rezo is heard to be gagging*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now for another word from our sponsers-
*to a sales jingle*
Happy happy laa dee daa! Sailor Garv is cool no da! Happy happy laa dee da! Sailor G beer no da!
DRINK BEER LIKE SAILOR GARV!!
BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!!! *****Sailor Garv-brand BEER!Aged to perfection!****
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the other hand Sailor Garv *insert music* is seen to be flashing his manly leg hairs, completely drunk...Not an unusual sight, at that. He is attempting to put moves on a waitress that looks at the big hairy red dude like he's a nut. Valgrav looks at Garv and the woman the faint light of jealously in eye...And as Garv reaches out to grab, "In the name of the Mazoku give me your beer! And-"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
The barroom door explodes inwards suddenly, on fire, trailing smoke and more innocent bystanders! Outlined in the flames is none other than Lina, singed, showing several inches of fang!
She roars- "YAMEEEDE GAAAARRRRRRRV YOU PRICK!!!!! DAM YOU CHIBI!!!!!"
Chibi proceeds to hids behind Val to use him as a shield, leaving it up to Garv. "Sailor Garv! You can do it!I know you can!!"
"Yes yes, I know that I will!"
To be Continued~ What will our hero do?! Will he toast Lina or will Lina toast him?!? Will Chibi ever get over being a @#$%&@# coward? Will Val ever kill the waitress? Tune in next time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
Recap)~~~Lina Inverse had finally found our heros! But what is this? Sailor Garv is drunk?!
"In the name of the Mazoku,give me your beer!" Oh my....~~~
Sailor Garv bounced out of the rubble that was previously the bar. "Nooooooooooo! My beer! Damn you Lina Inverse!!!!!!!!!!!" The waitress screams. "Fear not fair maiden,I shall protect you!" Garv grins,fuku slightly swaying in the breeze. The waitress glomped onto his arm.
Funny,he could sense a battle aura nearby,but it wasn't coming from Lina. Garv slowly turns around to see....*dramatic music*
***********************************************
(interuption by Xel)
Xel: Yo Tuxedo Dynast! Where the hell are you?!
Dynast: *appears silently* Right here
Xel: eep! *drools* Dynast-samaaaa,you're so bishy!
Dynast: I know.
Xel: oooooh,elegant cold bishy-type! *hearts and sparklies,with a few bubbles tossed in*
Dynast: ahem,shouldn't you be writing the episode?
Xel: *sheepishly* oh yeah....wahahahahahahaaa!
************************************************
Sailor Garv turns around to see...........Valgarv totally surround by a battle aura! "hehe,ummm Val,is there something wrong?" Val silently points to waitress. "Umm,you didn't like the food?" Val shakes head. "Ummm." Garv scratches his head (drunken brain trying to process this,there's a brief scent of something burning)and looks down at the waitress,who's still clinging to his arm.
"Oh! Hey,I'm just protecting the inoccent bystanders,she doesn't mean anything to me!" Val starts to power down. "Ooooooh,must remember that one!" Chibi Hellmaster furiously scribbles notes on a notepad.
Meanwhile,Lina is getting even more pissed. "DON'T IGNORE ME!!!! FIREBALL!" Just when the fireball is about to fry our heros,it gets knocked away by .....an ice-blue rose?! Everyone looked up to see a dark figure semi-hidden in the shadows.
"Hmm,can it be......we have a new allie?" Sailor Garv said in shock. ~~more dramatic music~~
Next Episode: Will we found out who the new allie is?! Will the waitress ever un-glomp SG? Will we ever find out what's in the Hellmaster's notebook? Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
**********************************************
(somewhere faaaaaaaaaar away,in a secret club named Conquest Bishonen,females were plotting to capture a new species of bishonen,aka "the new allie".) ^_~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And we're still working on it! Enjoy! : ) WAHAHAHAHA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
Within a flash of rose-colored light, and a swirl of scented purple (don't ask) rosepetals, a solitary figure appears. As the light fades, it is seen to be the figure of a young girl-child-
************************
Phibby GIRL!!!! :(
Rayven BUT....BUT! You look more like a girl!!!! O.O
Phibby NANI!!?!?! *holds one of those mega-spells in hand*
Rayven *eeps and goes back to typing*
*************************
....young BOY, who is dressed in a dark blue tunic trimmed with gold. He stops walking and fixes his eyes on his oppenent, golden eyes glittering in the light....A wind arises from nowhere and blows back his hair in the typical dramatic anime-style pose as he gazes at the warring figures in front of him.
"LINA INVERSE!!!!!!! Stop where you are!!!" Phibby commanded.
Lina ignores him and continues to try prying away her Rezo's staff.
"AWWWWH!!! Come ON Rezo!!! Lemme have it!!!!!" she squeals.
"NO! HELL NO!!!!" Rezo shouts and tries to shake off Lina, who has planted both feet on his chest in an attempt to lever the staff away! Phibby perks up at the "hell". I KNEW I was needed! he thinks. YAAAY! My first job! Whee!
"PLEAAAAAASEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've wanted it for so long!!!!!! Its just too jingly!!!!"
Phibby face-faults at this horrid treatment! They were INGORING HIM! HIM Sailor Chibi! Stamping a small foot he yells- "REZO DANGIT you called for ME!!"
Rezo does the equivalent of a blind blink (dont ask again ^_^ I'M writing this so there!!) and almost- almost- lets go of the staff. " I called YOU?!" He turns his face right and left, trying to sense where this newcomer was.
Lina, still ignoring Phibby, jerks mightily on the staff, but somehow Rezo keeps ahold of it. "Your tricks shant work on me Lina-!!!!!" the priest gasps out as she kicks in a not-nice place.
"ARE YOU TWO FINISHED PLAYING NOW!?!?!?!?!?!?!? CHIBI HELLMASTER POOOOWAH!!!" ( I swear they say that in Sailor Moon sometimes......o.o()() )
Another swirl of rose petals and lavender ylight surrounds Phibby, and his body looses its clothes, becoming transparent and rainbow-colored with power, as Phibby begins to twirl, trailing petals. 'Oooooh-ing' music abounds-
*************************
Phibby Allright, BIRDY enough!!!
Rayven O.o
Lina For God's sake.....Don't go into detail......
Rezo Absoloutely NO comment....
Rayven GEEEEEZ Guys........*Lina glares at her for the 'Guys'* *Ray wails* Whyyyy do you guuuy alwaaaaaaaays wanna beat meeeeeeeeee???
************************
-and Sailor Chibi Hellmaster steps out in a pink fuku, tacky plastic pink boots, fluffy bows at the breast and rear (XD), but thank GOD no pink rabbit-hair........(O.k. guys I love Sailor Moon actually but this is done in the name of humor! ^.~ No fireballing of Rayven!! NO! 'RUKA!!!!! PUT IT DOWN!!! AIIIEEEEEEEE! *is toasted* Itai....) Phibby turns to the side, showing off his girly form, and strikes the Moonie pose, two fingers culed to palm, pinky, index and thumb fingers extended. He smiles, and the golden eyes glitter with mischievious evil as an image of flames appear behind him.
"I am Sailor Chibi Hellmaster and in the name of Hell I SHALL punish you! I will do wrongs and triumph over all good! Prepare to be vaporized, Dragon-Spooker! Its MY turn to take out the garbage instead of Garv this time!!!! WAHAHAAHHAAHA!"
Lina's head whips around and her jaw drops with an audible ker-plunk......Rezo takes this golden oppurtunity and plants a boot in her face, wrenching his staff away and hightailing it into the forest with a dramatic swirl of red robes. Phibby takes notes on a pink notepad with purple ink. Mutters .."Tips on escaping with style.....not that I will ever need it...."
A moment later, Lina recovers a bit, though she still looks green at the edges, a bit blue too in some spots. She spots the Hellmaster in a...PINK...fuku again...with....PINK boots... and falls back, stiffly, legs and fingers twitching, eyes gone all swirly n' stuff. @_@ (*author takes a break now* be right back, I'm thirsty....Lina wanna come?)
Sailor Chibi Hellmaster raises one lil hand, thinking that THIS was THE oppurtunity! The enemy is paralyzed with total fear of my terrifying form! WAHAHAHAHA!!!! Smirking, Chibi Hellmaster steps tword the thoroughly cowed Lina. He powerposes like his idol-in-life, Sailor Garv, and raises on silkly be-gloved-
****************************
Rayven *returns from nabbing a Mtn. Dew and Chips Ahoy, only to find Phibby furiously typing, thinking she's gone* HEY YOU!!!!!!!!
Phibby *freezes and looks up at Rayven, using the chibi-eye thing as a weapon* *9.9*
Rayven GYAAAH!!! NOOO! NOOOT THE EYES!!! REZO-SAMA HELP!
Rezo *dosent look up from his book, licks a finger and turns a page from one of Ray's Dragonlance novels, having appropriated the Bird's most comfy chair, staff propped against it* (Note allusion to my fav Dragonlance char, whahaha)
Rayven*starting to feel the effects of the eyes* LINA-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! *looks desperate*
Lina *only rattles around the kitchen, plundering ruthlessly last night's sphaghetti, a few steaks, three-foot high sandwiches, etc, having been invited on a bad impulse to 'eat all you like' from Ray*
Phibby *eyes get impossibly, innocently larger, and MORE kawaii sparklies appear* **O.O**
Rayven*face-falls, then rolls the sleeves of her black dragony t-shirt up* THAT'S IT HELLBRAT!!!!!!! ~~I'M~~ THE AUTHOR HERE!
Phibby *jumps up and RUNS, scared at this unexpected turn of events, leaving a Phibby-shaped hole in the wall, with his horns showing an HUGE imprint!*
Rayven *mutter mutter* I always KNEW he must've used an invisibility spell on those.....*looks at monitor* ACK! What has he done? Oh well I'm too lazy to redo it....*hears an odd sound behind her, and whips around* Nani!!!
Rezo *is snickering behind the cover of the book, perilously close to rolling on the floor laughing his butt off, which would please the author to no end!!!!*
*****************************
(Now where was I.....) .....hand, summoning the Pink Sugar-Thing sceptere. Holding it high, he prepares to do what the bad guys in Slayers always wanted to do: Destroy the Dragon Spooker! ( NO FIREBALLS LINA! I gave you free run of the kitchen, OK?!?!?!?!?!) Only- the sceptere wasnt there.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! It Always worked in training!!!" Chibi-Hellmaster wailed, desparately shaking his hands, trying to make it appear.
Lina grunts on the ground, awakening.
Phibby gets a blue look over his face. "COME on work!!!!!!!" Jumping up and down, pink fuku flapping in that said breeze.
Lina's eyes snap open and they fix in utter horror on Phibby. "OH MY GOD!! Not another Fuku-happy guy! What next?? Rezo in a Fuku!!?!?!?"
***************************
Rayven Uhhhhhhh.....Lina?
Lina HE DIDNT!!!! O_o
Rezo *blushes demurely*
**************************
"......scratch that....ZEL in a fuku next?!?!!"
Chibi-Hellmaster, hurt "But......but....WAIT I'm the Hellmaster here!" He raises the arm again, and a little gold sceptere with pink crystal on top appears in his hand. "HEELLL DESTROOOOYING PRINCESS HAAAALIATION!!!!" A rather large blob of magenta goo flies from nowhere (maybe Candyland?) and glomps itself on a halpless Lina, who once again finds herself with swirly eyes and eating dirt.
Sailor Chibi-Hellmaster powerposes like his idol once again. "I have PUNISHED you!!! MUHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" Lightning flashes in the distance, and Phibby throws back his black-crowned head in glee, cackling....He dosent notice that Lina loved Candyland, the candy especially....She hops up, chanting, her aura flaring an astonishing orange.
"DRAGOOOON SLAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
From his position, now rather astonishingly high in the air, Fibby notes that Lina hasnt been defeated! Tomorrow is another day. and I'll join up with my idol, *moonie eyes* Sailor Garv!!!!!!!! "Hee hee hee hee!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
Garv looks up as Fibby crash lands next to him. "Oh no! Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" Garv jumps up and runs over. "Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,who has done this to you?" He leaned over just in tie to hear Fibby mumble "Dragonspooker..." Garv clenched his fist while Fibby went back to being KO'ed. "Lina Inverse,you will pay for this! Chaos Dragon Power!!!!" Garv swirls around,clothes dissapearing in a bright array of colors. Red bows go into place at the chest and back while Garv's body archs. Garv swirls around one more time before powerposing.
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!" SG runs off to avenge Sailor Chibi Hellmaster,leaping up on roofs and panty-flashing innocent bystanders. Valgarv stands next to Chibi Hellmaster's prone body,waving his banner,"My hero!"
~~Dramatic music plays~~ What will happen next? Will Sailor Chibi Hellmaster ever defeat anyone? Will Tuxedo Dynast make a appearance? Will Garv ever shave his legs?! Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhwhiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkkkk.... ...baaaaaaaka.....lina.........diiiiiiie.......
His eyes still swirly, Chibi Hellmaster drags himself to his feet, using Val to drag himself up. "I must fight.....I have no choice!ITAI!" Phibby squares those girly shoulders and sets off after Garv, singed fuku swirling in that damn breeze. Vallie-kuns-
*******************
(Another annoying author interruption....: ))
Rayven *has hearts for eyes* White-haired bishonen....
Lina DOWN GIRL DOWN!
Rezo *WHACKS them both with staff to shut them up and goes back to reading Dragonlance* ^_^
*******************
-is being dragged behind by Phibby, who takes one look at the rooftops Garv so recently bounced over..and notes the swirly-eyed innocents that were panty-flashed!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!! I wanna do that toooo!!!!" Chibi now tries to go rooftop-panty-flashing too but cant...Instead he throws globs of pink..(ACK) MAGENTA! stuff at said bystanders..Pouting he takes the long way, wading through the masses of ko'ed ones, some singed from panties, some wif pi- magenta stuff on them. Vallie-kuns still drags behind Phibby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And a word from our sponsers:
BUY BUY BUY SAILOR GARV ACESSORIES!!!!!
we Have:
**********Panties!!!!!!!!!!Flash your friends!
*********Boots with THE Sailor Garv powerposing!!
*******Pillows!
******Plushies!
****Action Figure!
**Lunchboxes!!
ANNNNND OUR EVER POPULAR......
!!!!!!**SAILOR GARV BISHOJO HAIR-REMOVER CREAM!!!**!!!!!!
BUY NOW AT YOUR LOCAL SAILOR G-MARKET!!!!!
(Valgrav and Chibi Hellmaster not included)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*************
Rezo I WILL not ask where you got that idea, Bird.
Rayven*giggling, cackling, insanely* EEHAhAHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEE!!!!!!
*************
Far away......
Lina looks up as she sees that all-too-familiar flash of leghair, accompanied by the earth-shaking thump of HIS arrival. She pauses, Rezo's staff in hand as she stole it while he was reading... (R-chan NAAAAANI!!! LINA YOU @#$%!!)
"NOOOOOO!!!its Sailor Garv!!! AIIIIEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!", she barfs. "GO AWAY YOU FREAK!!!!"
To be continued. Same Garv-time! Same Garv-place
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
~~When we last left our heros,Chibi Hellmaster was running over ko'ed innocent bystanders,Valgarv dragged behind him,while the big hairy red guy (SG) arrived to confront Lina~~
Garv ignored the sound of puking as he landed, magnificently flashing his manly leghairs. He assumed the traditional sailor pose.
"I am Sailor Garv! I will fight rights and triumph over good! In the name of the Mazoku,I will punish you!!!"
*************************************************
Another word from our sponsers~~~
Fibby is in a kitchen eating breakfast. "But mom! I'm sick of eating the same stuff for breakfast!"
The tv suddenly turns on.
("Greetings fans! I'm Sailor Garv,here to tell you to buy "SG's Wheaties". If you wanna grow up to be big,strong and manly like me,eat "SG's Wheaties". Also available with SG,Val and Hellmaster marshmallows. Now advailable at supermarkets everywhere!")
"Oh wow! I wanna be just like SG,my idol!" Fibby drags mom off screen. Later is seen happily munching on "SG's Wheaties".
We now continue~~~~
************************************************
Garv sneered. "Lina Inverse,you shall pay for what you did to Sailor Chibi Hellmaster!" A wand suddenly appears in SG's hand and starts glowing. Sailor Garv does some artistic moves with it then points it at Lina.
"Chaos Dragon Halatioooooooooooooooooon!"
Red and black waves flow out of the wand,nailing Lina who was too shocked to move. Lina went flying over a building. Sailor Garv posed,"Victory!"
He suddenly felt like he was being watched. SG whirled around,only to find Chibi Hellmaster and Valgarv standing at the corner,staring in awe. Valgarv started waving his banner wildy,"Yayyy!" Chibi Hellmaster jumped into the air,"Wahoooo!" "Ahhh,my faithful sidekicks. Come,we must celebrate this victory." After saying this,SG proudly lead them to the nearest bar. A few minutes later,Lina slowly got up from where she'd fallen. "Grrrrrr,they are SO DEAD!!!!!!!!"
~~~What will happen next? Will Lina find our heros? Will our heros get f*cking drunk? Will Tuxedo Dynast ever drag his lazy @$$ over here?! Keep watching to find out,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Lina)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now a recap of yesterdays THRILLING episode!
Our hero Sailor Garv *insert cheesy cheering da-dam-daaa-daaa!music* had defeated the infamous minion of good, Lina Inverse! But wait?! Is that Lina getting out of the ruins, battle-aura sparking?! Oh no! Heroes watch out! She's back!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lina cackles insanely...."Oh ye...oh....YES! THEY shall DIE!!!!! ARRRGH!!! I'm not fooling anymore! GRRRRRRRRRRR....." Shoving another peice of rubble away, she stalks away in search of the trio.
Meanwhile~~
Our heroes were having quite a ball at the bar! Chibi Hellmaster was breakdancing on the counters, knocking over drinks with his tacky boots into the laps of any beautiful ladies he sees! (Then again after 6 beers a chibi would even think that a horse was a beautiful woman....OR Garv...*Rezo is heard to be gagging*)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now for another word from our sponsers-
*to a sales jingle*
Happy happy laa dee daa! Sailor Garv is cool no da! Happy happy laa dee da! Sailor G beer no da!
DRINK BEER LIKE SAILOR GARV!!
BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY!!!!! *****Sailor Garv-brand BEER!Aged to perfection!****
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On the other hand Sailor Garv *insert music* is seen to be flashing his manly leg hairs, completely drunk...Not an unusual sight, at that. He is attempting to put moves on a waitress that looks at the big hairy red dude like he's a nut. Valgrav looks at Garv and the woman the faint light of jealously in eye...And as Garv reaches out to grab, "In the name of the Mazoku give me your beer! And-"
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
The barroom door explodes inwards suddenly, on fire, trailing smoke and more innocent bystanders! Outlined in the flames is none other than Lina, singed, showing several inches of fang!
She roars- "YAMEEEDE GAAAARRRRRRRV YOU PRICK!!!!! DAM YOU CHIBI!!!!!"
Chibi proceeds to hids behind Val to use him as a shield, leaving it up to Garv. "Sailor Garv! You can do it!I know you can!!"
"Yes yes, I know that I will!"
To be Continued~ What will our hero do?! Will he toast Lina or will Lina toast him?!? Will Chibi ever get over being a @#$%&@# coward? Will Val ever kill the waitress? Tune in next time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Xelloss)
Recap)~~~Lina Inverse had finally found our heros! But what is this? Sailor Garv is drunk?!
"In the name of the Mazoku,give me your beer!" Oh my....~~~
Sailor Garv bounced out of the rubble that was previously the bar. "Nooooooooooo! My beer! Damn you Lina Inverse!!!!!!!!!!!" The waitress screams. "Fear not fair maiden,I shall protect you!" Garv grins,fuku slightly swaying in the breeze. The waitress glomped onto his arm.
Funny,he could sense a battle aura nearby,but it wasn't coming from Lina. Garv slowly turns around to see....*dramatic music*
***********************************************
(interuption by Xel)
Xel: Yo Tuxedo Dynast! Where the hell are you?!
Dynast: *appears silently* Right here
Xel: eep! *drools* Dynast-samaaaa,you're so bishy!
Dynast: I know.
Xel: oooooh,elegant cold bishy-type! *hearts and sparklies,with a few bubbles tossed in*
Dynast: ahem,shouldn't you be writing the episode?
Xel: *sheepishly* oh yeah....wahahahahahahaaa!
************************************************
Sailor Garv turns around to see...........Valgarv totally surround by a battle aura! "hehe,ummm Val,is there something wrong?" Val silently points to waitress. "Umm,you didn't like the food?" Val shakes head. "Ummm." Garv scratches his head (drunken brain trying to process this,there's a brief scent of something burning)and looks down at the waitress,who's still clinging to his arm.
"Oh! Hey,I'm just protecting the inoccent bystanders,she doesn't mean anything to me!" Val starts to power down. "Ooooooh,must remember that one!" Chibi Hellmaster furiously scribbles notes on a notepad.
Meanwhile,Lina is getting even more pissed. "DON'T IGNORE ME!!!! FIREBALL!" Just when the fireball is about to fry our heros,it gets knocked away by .....an ice-blue rose?! Everyone looked up to see a dark figure semi-hidden in the shadows.
"Hmm,can it be......we have a new allie?" Sailor Garv said in shock. ~~more dramatic music~~
Next Episode: Will we found out who the new allie is?! Will the waitress ever un-glomp SG? Will we ever find out what's in the Hellmaster's notebook? Find out next time,Sailor Garv says! *giggles*
**********************************************
(somewhere faaaaaaaaaar away,in a secret club named Conquest Bishonen,females were plotting to capture a new species of bishonen,aka "the new allie".) ^_~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And we're still working on it! Enjoy! : ) WAHAHAHAHA!