Only One Person

"I'm so sorry, Ms Smith."

Sarah felt her heart plummet, and for the two seconds of silence she could hear it pounding in her ears. Her mouth grew dry, a lump formed in her throat and her hands began to shake. "You found him." She blew out a sharp breath, trying to stop herself hyperventilating. Her eyes were already so full of tears that she couldn't see. "Where's Harry? What happened to him? I've got to see him, please, take me to him so I can see him. How much did he suffer? Where did you find him?"

The Brigadier contemplated the best way to comfort her. He felt cruel; she was one of his dearest friends and this was the second time in a few short months that he had watched her heart break, and caused it. "That's just it, we didn't."

"You didn't find him?"

"No, and now he's been missing for too long. My superiors won't allow me to search any longer, I can't put any more funding into it and I've been instructed to focus on other things. I am truly sorry; If it was my choice I wouldn't stop searching until we found him, but officially he's presumed dead."

Taking a few seconds to absorb the information, she felt her tears ease slightly, even when the pain in her chest didn't. "No body? That means he could still be out there. He could still come home."

Lethbridge-Stewart offered her a soft, sympathetic smile. "I sincerely hope he does."

Sarah looked down at the bundle in the man's arms, just a pile of fabric representing a whole life, a man who had achieved so much more than could be shown in the military coat she was being offered in place of a body. After all they'd been through, she couldn't let the last line of their story be her stood on the doorstep in tears, alone. "Funding? You said you need funding."

"It's not that simple."

"I can give you funding. I can fund you for as long as you could ever need to find him. I'll fund whatever you need."

"Sarah Jane, I can't. I have orders to stop; I can't put any more resources into the search. I am on your side with this; it's a wretched thing that someone who means the absolute world to those that love him can be abandoned for being only one person."

"Then where is he?"

"I don't-"

"Where did you send him? Where was the mission?"

"It's confidential, you know that."

"And that's what he always told me before he went on any mission; he stuck to the rules and wouldn't tell me anything until he got back." She stepped towards him. "But you owe him this. You owe him to tell me where to start; he'd retired from the field, he stopped because he was terrified that one day he would never come back, never make it home, just disappear. But you begged him for just this one and look at what's happened; it might have cost him everything. So you tell me where you sent him because whatever has happened I cannot leave him out there alone."

"I am sorry, this should never have-"

"Just tell me. If you won't, can't search, I will. Whatever you think has happened, I won't give up until I can see for myself that he's gone." After all the people she'd lost, he was the one that promised to never leave, and he had always held true to his word against all odds. He was the one that was supposed to stay forever. "I can't give up on him. Harry cheats death, that's what he does."

"And he'd never forgive me if I sent you into danger."

"Do you want me to search the whole planet?"

He sighed, looking at the determination on her face. "Okay, the mission was in Brazil, the last time we heard from him he was travelling along the Amazon, but we looked there, we searched the whole river, he's not there anymore."

"I have to start somewhere and I have to look for him. I swear he's going to come home, I believe he will, I have to." It was only to herself that she could admit that if there was a final straw that could break her, losing him would surely do it. "Please just help me."

The Brigadier nodded; she was right, and he owed it to her too. "However I can."

"Thanks."

A few seconds later, he held the items he was holding out to her. "Here. He left these on his bed."

Tentatively, she took them from him and looked at them. His hat and his coat, and between them a photograph; the two of them, her grinning whilst he kissed her cheek, his lips curling upwards with utter joy. The choice of keepsake struck her right down to the core, but she couldn't help thinking that the coat should be with him. Wherever he was he should have it to help him survive, and she hated the thought that he could be freezing to death somewhere, all on his own, whilst she was stood there in the doorway holding his coat. It would smell like him too, she was sure of it, and despite her aching heart she intended on burying her nose in it later. "Oh, Harry."

"The rest of Dr. Sullivan's effects will be passed on to you soon. I am so sorry for your loss, Ms Smith."

She clutched the possessions to her, and took a deep breath to keep her emotions back as much as was possible. "Thank you. I'll keep you up to date."