A/N: Several readers have been asking about the end of the Blue Blood Trilogy. I am happy to announce the story is in outline stages and will be titled The Storm. I do not yet know when I will be posting this, I like to post pieces that are at least partially finished. This little brotherly story will take place around the middle of The Storm. I hope everyone enjoys. Please let me hear from you.
Currently publishing are And Baby Makes, That's What Love Is For, and Pillow Talk.
It was a Thursday night and Danny invited Jamie out for beers and a chat. Danny was treating, and Jamie was intrigued as to why he had asked him. Normally, Danny shared his worries and troubles with Linda or Baez, not his kid brother. Jamie arrived and found Danny sitting at a table, with two beers. "Hey Danny. How are you?" Jamie asked his Harvard brain spinning.
"I'm good kid," Danny replied. "How are you doing? How's Eddie?" His brother's partnership is a mystery to Danny. He was s but there are things about the match that are just plain odd.
"Eddie is good. I dropped her home before I came to meet you," Jamie replied. Jamie started drinking his beer, and realized it had been awhile since he had a night out with his brother. "She was a little tired so she's going to have a nap while we have a beer."
"Things are really shaping up with her then, I remember when you couldn't leave the house without her getting all worked up, that's good. You had patience, that's good." Jamie sighed, after Eddie had remembered that she been raped, she had gone through a period of nervousness when it came to being alone. She and Jamie were newly engaged and her clingy nature had put a little stress on the fledgling relationship.
"It was hard at first, because we weren't partners anymore." Jamie explained. "You go from protecting and watching someone's back, to being engaged to them, and suddenly you realize, hey you aren't their partner anymore. But the guy they got me riding with, half the week now, is great. Smith is his last name, and the rest of the week, they have me with Kara, and Eddie really trusts Kara." Jamie drank more of his beer. He got the feeling, things are about to turn serious, really soon.
"How do you do it Jamie? How do you stay with…someone who is a little...?" Danny made the motion for off their rocker. "A little bit cuckoo. Which face it Eddie kind of is right now."
Jamie chose to ignore Danny's comment and simply give his honest answer. "I stuck with her, because I really truly love her. I loved her, far before she told me, before she realized it. Eddie remembering and telling me everything, made me love her even more," Jamie admitted. "I feel like this is going somewhere."
"When she asked you to go to the lady shrink…that's was okay with you? You just went to this woman and bared it all no problem?" Danny sipped his beer. "Did she push that or how did that come? Did Eddie start first?"
"You mean the new doctor?" Jamie clarified. "That was actually my idea. I actually broke down about Joe in there," Jamie confessed. "I needed it as much as her, and I never even realized it."
"But if she did ask you, and you didn't want to go…" Danny sighed. "Linda is making me go to see this therapist. This head shrinker wants to talk about Mom's feeling and her and Dad's marriage, that's just stupid. Linda is the one that changed, why do I have to change too? I am always the same, I never change ever!"
"Listen, the best advice I can give you, is to go. You will talk about stuff, you never even knew was still hurting you. You will get it out, and you will feel better. You and Linda were both shot inside a year, that's a traumatic thing for anyone. You don't have to talk about your childhood, just…talk." Jamie I finished his beer and signaled for another round. "My relationship with has gotten better, since I learned to let Joe go, and live in the present. I learned that Eddie is the one to go to now when I need to work things through, Eddie…or you."
"You still haven't let go of Joe," Danny observed. "Not all the way. But you are better. I'm going to go…but…Eddie is getting better seeing the doctor, Linda seems to be getting worse kid."
"It's because she needs reassurance. At the end of a rough day at work, the first thing you should do, is grab her into your arms, and cuddle her. Make her feel secure. If you go to other things first, she will feel left out, and like you don't need her," Jamie advised. "Show Linda you can be a great father, by helping the boys with their homework. The little things really count. Maybe plan a weekend vacation with her." Jamie felt a little odd giving Danny marital advice, but at that moment in time, his relationship with Eddie was on more secure ground that Danny's marriage to Linda. "Linda will get better, with time. Show her you have the patience to go through it all with her, and she will reward you with progress. I promise you that," Jamie encouraged. After all, he was speaking from experience. Every bit of progress was a celebration.
When Eddie's memories returned full force, she had shut down on him. She had banned him from their bed and refused him even the slightest bit of affection aside from hugs. Those she wanted seemingly all the time. Eddie needed Jamie to make her feel safe, but anything close to sexual in nature sent her off the deep end.
"So you and Eddie are engaged what, almost four months now? Are you…has she progressed…?" Danny wanted to know how long this crap was going to take. Jamie was the patient one for a reason, Danny wasn't the type to sit around and talk, he wanted to take action. Now! Linda has been at this longer than Eddie and Jamie and all Danny saw was that she was getting worse.
"I'm not a huggy kind of guy. I'm not a homework guy, that is why they have Uncle Jamie's cell phone number."
"We haven't been at it long, but Eddie is working really hard and has a fiance who is willing to go through it with her. The problem with you, is that right off the bat, you are fighting it, instead of going there, with an open mind." Jamie studied his hands, this felt too weird, but Danny was asking for his help, he had to give all the advice he could. "I shouldn't tell you this, I gave my word but I think it's important. Linda called me crying the other day, and said you keep fighting going, and that she wishes you would be more tender, the way you used to be before you got shot. This whole thing is really hard on both of you. You were both shot inside a year and you are going back into the line of fire every day. Put yourself in Linda's shoes. Wouldn't you be scared?"
"It's stupid!" Danny erupted. "We never had to get to do this before. I have had this job forever and ever. Hell yes' I'd be scared. I would be really scared but that's not the issue here Jamie! I am trying to be tender and understanding, damn it!" Danny slammed his fist on the table.
"The issue is, that you don't want to do whatever it takes. You are going to lose your marriage, if you don't grow a pair and go to therapy with her." Jamie's tone was growing angry, he was getting fed up with Jamie's pigheadness. "Do you want to throw all those years down the drain, over not wanting to go to therapy? If you think she won't divorce you, you're wrong." Jamie meant to deliver that as a shock and awe. Danny needed to open his eyes.
"No, but this therapist…she's just out to lunch Jamie. You are the world's best fiancé, you can't even have sex with Eddie right now. That is kind of sick but it's also kind of sweet…" Danny took a long drink finished his second beer. "Maybe I don't love her enough then. Maybe I don't love her like you love Eddie."
"I really love Eddie, but I think you really love Linda. You have to look deep inside yourself, and find a way to convey that love to her now. She's not receiving it the way she did before," Jamie offered his observation. "You know what Joe would say. He would say to get off your high horse, and then kick you in the ass, hard." Jamie laughed and Danny's eyes grew wide.
"He probably would," Danny admitted. "I love Linda, I really do. I want my Linda, this is not my Linda. She's…gone…My Linda died, Jamie…" Danny's throat closed as he fought tears.
"She didn't die. She is fighting to get back to you. Therapy is her weapon, and she is utilizing it, to fight this and get back to you." It hurt Jamie to see Danny in such pain. He reached out and rubbed Danny's back in soothing circles. "We are all in this together. If I can go to therapy for Eddie, I think you can make an effort for Linda."
"Did Eddie change?" Danny asked as he caught his breath. "Did she totally change on you from the person you fell for? Linda did, she is not the same. I think I could have handled the paralysis better. I feel so horrible saying that, but this is like a shell of my wife and I…I am really losing it." Danny took a few more deep breaths trying to calm himself down.
"In some ways she did change, but they were good healthy changes. I will always be in love with Eddie, no matter how much she changes. You have to be willing to accept these changes and love her in spite of these changes."
Danny began his third beer. "I don't know if I can accept this. She is so sullen, so withdrawn. She doesn't even take the kids to their games. Pop does it. Okay? My wife is not who she was. And to me, Jamie, there is no reason…Eddie was held down by a boy that she knew from her school while four others guys watched while she was raped, beaten and left for dead. That haunts you, Jamie…but a gun shot. You were shot at the Bitterman houses, in the vest but still…I've been shot and beaten. We move on."
"I'm about to tell you something, I haven't even told Eddie. This stays between us okay? I am still haunted some nights about my shooting," Jamie confessed. "I have a good reason to be scared of the job sometimes." Jamie lifted his shirt and showed Danny a long slash scar across his side. "Got slashed on the job, with Vinny, and never reported it. So don't tell me her fear isn't real. I am lucky to be alive today, because I could have died so many times, on this damn job." Jamie raised his hand and ordered a whiskey to chase his beer. "Don't tell Dad, he would be angry that I let that go."
Danny nodded his promise, "My point is Jamie, we all have our demons. Linda was mugged at knife point and kidnapped by a madman and held in a bathroom. It's not like it's her first time being in harm's way. I'll go to therapy wither, but I have no idea why it's so necessary. I don't know if you are hearing me Jamie."
"Bad things happen true, but it's what happens next, that matters the most. To Linda this is what happens next. Going to therapy and getting better for you and the boys. So do what comes next with her, and if I find out you aren't going, I will pull a Joe, and kick your ass into next week." Jamie took the whiskey shot that he ordered and downed it.
Danny worked on his third beer, "Maybe it's the wrong shrink. Can you maybe ask the lady shrink if she would see us? She seems to be making progress with Eddie. I like her style, she doesn't blame people. This one blamed my marital issues that come from Linda on Mom for not being more open about her fear of Dad on the job. Mom, our Mom!"
"Mom wasn't open with Dad about that, but it was no secret, we all knew. You shouldn't worry too much about that," Jamie advised. "It would be a conflict of interest, she can't see you guys. Linda already trusts this woman, and you have to learn to be okay with going. No one is perfect, Danny. Not me, not Mom, not you."
"No, but that woman has no right to pick on Mom saying she brought us up wrong, and I didn't think I'd ever live to see that day when you didn't stand up for your own mother. She said to me your mother protected you too much and taught us to be unfeeling, our Mom!" Danny slammed his fist into the table in anger. "This shrink is anti cop."
"I watched Mom hide her true feelings from Dad for years," Jamie sighed. "I was the baby, no one realized I was watching but I watched. Then when Joe died, I did the same thing as Mo used to do and if you remember, I got very sick. I was diagnosed with depression, remember? That was all because I never talked about my feelings. Mom was great for so many things, but telling Dad how she really felt was a bust, and you know it too." Jamie could see he was slowly making a dent in Danny's shield. "The doctor is not saying Mom was unfeeling, she is just saying you didn't have a good example growing up on how to openly express feelings. Dad struggles with it too. Why do you think he can never talk about the tough things? You need to really think about it Danny. We learned from them all of the good and some of the bad too." Jamie kept his tone soft, he knew his words were making it through.
"I don't like this doctor. How can I make her see someone else? If it was someone, like the lady shrink, maybe I could embrace it more. Marriage is compromise, if I am going, I think I should feel safe too." There it was, Danny felt exposed and vulnerable.
"Well actually Dr. Connor shares an office complex. There is someone there called, I think it's Dr. Emery or something like that. Maybe you could see that doctor. Eddie and I saw him once but she didn't respond well to his being a man, but I thought even battling that part of it that he was amazing." Jamie knew how hard this was on Danny. Jamie could tell that Danny wanted to try, he was broken inside too, he had suffered a lot of loss too. If he did get Linda to see a different doctor, and the two of them work hard, Danny could feel whole again.
Jamie wrote down the phone number for Dr. Emery and smiled. Danny returned the gesture and took the napkin. "Thanks kid. If Linda is giving me a job on this, can I have her call you? I think this doctor might be better, we can start seeing him together."
"Sure you can," Jamie replied standing up. "You know I'm your brother first, right? That's why I can't let you give up."
Danny nodded and slapped Jamie on the back, since Joe died they had times when they were close. He was just glad this was one of those times.