Just a bit of silliness I thought up while lying in bed last night... If you don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that. I however, have always fantasized about Hermione/Draco pairings, and are sort of strating one in my huge fanfic, but I needed a break from that so here's my skit - one shot . Basically what has happened, is Draco's father has gone completely insane, locked Narcissa in the pantry and has come after Draco. This is after Hogwarts, and Hermione lives on the third floor of a muggle apartment building. (Lucius out of Azkaban?) Just a key to some of my symbols -()- non-specific actions, () actions specific to person mentioned in front scene/italics/ thoughts

Scene: Hermione Granger lies
awake on her bed, staring up at
the ceiling, bored as hell and
waiting for the morning.
Time: Quarter past 1 am.

-(knock on screen door)-
Hermione: What the... (walks over to the door-opens)

Draco: Quick! Hide me!

Hermione: What? What's going on!

Draco: (out of breath) My father's hunting me down with a lit wand and a homicidal will.

Hermione: (gives him a skeptical look) What did you do?

Draco: Shut up. (gasp gasp) He just flipped out. I guess too many years in that place finally hit home.

Hermione: (suddenly realizes that she lives on the third floor) How did you get up here?

Draco: Well...

Hermione: You didn't Apparate did you!

Draco: Look can we not talk about this...

Hermione: You could have been seen!

Draco: (looks around at empty street below, and all the dark windows around them) But–

Hermione: I can't hide you here! I'll be jeapordizing every muggle in this building! Your father is a bloody Death Eater!

Draco: (quietly) Which is why I need to hide.

Hermione: (notices a slight fearful look in Draco's eyes) What did you do?

Draco: ...

Hermione: (pulls Draco inside) Alright, you can stay here tonight, but then you're going to have to find somewhere else to hide. (sees wand light shining on the street below her balcony)

Draco: (sigh of relief) thankyou thankyou than– (gets cut off-pushed into bathroom-door locked)

Hermione: Shhh...I think he knows where you are.

Draco: Oh shit.

Hermione: Quiet! I'm going to call the police.

Draco: The who?

Hermione: Shut it or I'LL hex you.

-(looks for the cordless phone, locking the bathroom door several times with various charms)-

Draco: (pulls out wand and locks door from the inside)

Hermione: I think he's gone... (carrys phone over to screen door) He's gone.

-(loud banging on the front doorHermione jumps, silently charms the door from the inside, goes over to the peephole)-

Hermione: (claps hand over her mouth to keep from screaming) /Oh Shit/

Lucius: OPEN THE DOOR MUDBLOOD!

Hermione: (close to tears now dials 9-1-1, waits untill operator speaks, then hangs up knowing they'll trace the call)

Lucius: Miss Granger...

Hermione: (now really crying backs up towards bathroom door)

Lucius: (increasingly louder) open the DOOR!

-(door blasts open with flash of white light)-

-(Hermione screams, Lucius turns his wand on her)-

Lucius: WHERE IS HE!

Hermione: (shakes her head, staring at the wand) no.

Lucius: I don't have to hurt you Miss Granger.
Hermione shakes her head continuously while not taking her eyes off the wand I don't have to... but I will.

Hermione: (trips on corner of rug falls) I've called the Police, you'd better take off! (reaches desperately for wand, only 4 inches away from her fingertips)

-(Meanwhile, Draco is desperately trying to stay quiet, so as not to be found, hoping his father will leave)-

Lucius: Accio wand! (points both wands at Hermione)
I'm not afraid of the muggles. Tell me where my son is.

Hermione:(shakes her head, closes her eyes her face stained with tears)

-(Draco, knowing that he will actually kill her, aims his wand at the bathroom doorknob)-

Lucius: Fine, I've given you time. (aims wand) Avada Ke––

Draco: (blasts open door, aims wand at Lucius) AVADA KEDAVRA!

Lucius: (falls to the floor, lifeless)

Hermione: (staring, disbelieving at Lucius' dead body) Oh my god.

Draco: (realizing) Oh my god.

Hermione: You killed him.

Draco: (walks over to Lucius) I killed him!

Hermione: (looks up at Draco) You saved my life!

Draco: I saved– what!

Hermione: (stands up, embraces Draco)

Draco: (not knowing how to respond just accepts the hug... the very long hug) Uh, are you ok?

Hermione: (nods) Yea. (then adds) Thankyou.(finally lets go picks up the two wands, stuffing them into her pocket, and sits down on the bed, stepping over Lucius)

Draco: (scratches the back of his head, still freaked out) Um.. You're welcome? (walks over and sits down beside her)

Hermione: Why did you? (gesturing at Lucius)

Draco: I don't know. I just.. acted on instinct.

Hermione: (looking slightly put out) Oh. I probably would have done the same.

Draco: Hey.

Hermione: (turns to look at him) Yes?

-(Draco leans in to kiss her, she follows.)-

Hermione: (delighting in exploring this new terrain for whilesuddenly feels unsure about it breaks off the kiss, wanting him more than anything the second they part)
Wait.

Draco: (thinking that he has done something wrong, but wishing that he hasnt't) Sorry.

Hermione: (understanding his worries correctly) No, it's not that. I just... (looks up at him, watching him turn bright red realizes she loves him)

Draco: (noticing Hermione staring at him, a strange new expression on her face) What?

Hermione: (put her hand on the back of his head, kissing him again)

-(they stop for a split second, look at eachother, as if confirming everything, and then continue kissing, her hands running through his soft blonde hair, his planted firmly on her hips.)-

-(they are sadly interrupted by the sound of rushing footfalls as 3 muggle police officers come barreling through the door)-

-(they see Lucius' dead body lying on the floor of her bedroom, both the front and bathroom doors blasted open with the locks broken)-

Cop #1: What the hell happened here?

Hermione: (throwing a worried look at Draco) It was me.

Cop #2: Im afraid you're going to have to explain it better than that Miss.

Hermione: (now looking confident, reassures Draco and steps forward) He broke into my apartment. I picked up the phone immediately and dialed 9-1-1. He hung up the phone and turned on me with this. (she bent down and picked up the small knife that Lucius had sticking out of his pocket)

-(at this time, Cop #2 takes the knife, passing it to Cop#3 who bags it)-

Hermione: I couldn't s-see anything to defend myself with that was within reach, th-that's when Draco came from the kitchen, distracting him s-so that I could reach the blinds cord. (She picked up a few strands of what was noticably unicorn hair, handing it also to the cop)

Draco: (looking disbelievingly at Hermione) /That woman thinks of everything/

Hermione: So I mmmanaged to grab it before he knocked Draco backwards, nearly br-reaking down the bathroom door. He turned back to me, pulled my hair back p-probably going t-to slit my throat...

Draco: /She can act too.../

Hermione: (getting right into charatcer) I then thought of a tactic I learned years ago and kicked his kneecap as hard as possible (demonstrating by kicking sharply backward), then tripped him (mimed pushing her foot into the back of the invisible man's knee). He got down to the floor, and that's when I held the cord tight around his neck, not enough to cut it, but enough to cut off his air supply. Another thing I learned.

-(Draco noticed that Cop #1 had been incesantly writing in a notebook, shaking his head every so often. He hoped sincerely they would believe her; decided to take action)-

Draco: Yea, I thought she was going to slit his throat but I guess she just wanted to make him pass out until you arrived.

Hermione: Exactly, but I held on too long. (She started to cry so convincingly that even Draco looked taken aback)

Draco: (walks over to Hermione and puts his arms around her, leading her back to sit down on the bed)

Cop #1: We understand Miss. Self defense doesn't get charged for murder. You're one of the lucky ones. All we need is for you to come down to the station to sign a release, enabling us to keep your explanation on record.

-(Hermione nods. The muggle policemen start to escort her out of the room, she stops them, and walks over to Draco)-

Hermione: I want you to come.

Draco: (looks uncertainly at the cops, but the re-assuring look in Hermione's eyes convinces him to follow) Ok.

-(the muggles take them both down to the cars at the curb below, the stares from the crowd that had gathered around the yellow tape burning into them)-

-(in the back of the patrol car, neither Draco nor Hermione said anything for a while)-

-(Hermione,after 5 minutes of silence, looks over at Draco staring out the window, leans over and softly kisses his cheek. Neither one noticed the cop smiling gently in the rear view mirror)-