There are many things I would like to say to you,
But I don't know how,
Because maybe,
You're gonna be the one that saves me.
Oasis, 'Wonderwall'

XXX

He knows as soon as he meets her.

"I don't like this." Her frown is aimed at the wall just over his shoulder.

"I close cases," he singsongs, trailing his fingers along the edge of her desk.

Lisbon's frown deepens. "You forced two agents from Organized Crime into early retirement."

Jane shrugs. "Meh. They were old and slow. It was bound to happen sometime."

She flicks a pen at his head. "You need to learn respect."

He flashes her a blinding smile. "Yes, sir, Agent Lisbon, sir."

Really, this is how it all begins.

XXX

"Jane?" Her voice sounds panicked as it bounces off the walls of the abandoned hotel. "Jane?" There's blood all around, and bodies nearby, and when Lisbon glances down she realizes that she's tracking bloody shoe prints across the dusty floor.

"Lisbon?" Her name is cracked and hoarse, but she thinks it's the best thing she's heard in days. (She was terrified that they would find his blood on the walls and his vacant eyes staring up at them, and she wasn't ready to deal with that, couldn't breathe at the thought of it becoming a reality.)

She kneels in front of him, palms brushing against his curls lightly. "Hey."

He shakes his head at her, eyes wide and fixed on the wall behind her.

"Look at me." (She still can't breathe.) "C'mon, Jane. You're all right now, I promise. I'm right here."

He drops his head to her shoulder. "Lisbon," he rasps into her hair, and she realizes that he is shaking.

"It's okay. It's okay." Maybe if she says it enough it will be true.

Jane finally pulls back and looks at her, his blue eyes weirdly hollow in the dim light. "Good to see you, Lisbon."

She makes a sound that comes out between a sob and a laugh. "Good to see you too, Jane."

His fingers press into her arm. "Get me out of here." It's not a request, it's a demand, and as Lisbon grasps his hand she can't help but feel like she's drowning in everything and there's nothing she can do about it.

"All right," she whispers into his ear.

(She remembers the panic in his eyes for a very long time.)

XXX

They're sitting in the middle of a desert.

The sky is a blazing blue overhead, and Jane is gripping her hand like his life depends on it.

"You all right?" Her voice sounds weird, too hollow and tired, like she's been running for days.

"Yeah," he says, and he looks so lost as he stares at her. "Never better."

The wind picks up, and suddenly there is dust everywhere, and the sky is no longer blue, and Jane is next to her, crying. Lisbon looks down at their joined hands and fights back the rising panic clawing at her throat. Their hands are coated in blood.

"You fall, I'll catch you." He's whispering in her ear, over and over again, and she begins to wonder if he's going mad, if they're going mad together. "You fall, I'll catch you."

Above them, the sky has turned a deep red color, and some of the clouds look like smiley faces. (This should mean something to her, but the weight of Jane's hand in hers makes it difficult to remember.)

"You fall-" Jane starts, and this time Lisbon finishes the sentence for him.

"I'll catch you."

She wakes up crying.

XXX

"Shut up!"

Jane shifts uncomfortably against the gun that's pressed to his forehead. "Calm down, Harrison. Just. Calm. Down. Let's think about this logically, hmm? If you shoot me, you're going to be in a lot more trouble than you already are-" The gun digs suddenly into his skin, making him wince. "Seeing as I work for the CBI. And even though they don't give me dental, I'm still considered an important asset, and lots of people would be very put out if I were to be killed by a psychopath," Jane pauses, conducting a quick mental calculation. "Okay, only a few that I can think of."

"You should probably take Harrison's advice and just shut up, Jane." Lisbon's voice comes floating out of the dark and dust of the warehouse, and Jane feels his pulse slow slightly, because Lisbon is nearby, and she will fix everything.

His smile is slightly pained as Harrison presses the gun against him harder. "Oh, hey, Lisbon. Nice to see you caught onto my plan." He is weirdly nonchalant for someone who could be shot at any second.

Lisbon scoffs. "Your plan that's going horribly wrong."

"How do you know? It's my plan. Maybe it's going great."

"Shut up!" Harrison roars.

Jane shakes his head. "This is what I'm talking about Harrison. You could really give yourself a heart attack if you continue on like this. Do you know any breathing exercises?"

From somewhere in the dark, Lisbon groans. Harrison just continues to stare at him, tightening his grip on the gun.

"What's stopping me from killing you?"

"Oh." Jane's throat goes dry. "The delightful back and forth we seem to have developed?"

Harrison frowns. "Nope." He moves the gun to Jane's chest and flicks off the safety.

"Oh."

A shot reverberates through the stale air, and for a moment all Jane can think about is how unfair this is, because he still has an empty, haunted house and a bloody smiley face on his wall and...Then he realizes that he's not dead, and Lisbon is standing near him, gun held tightly in her hands, and Harrison is lying on the floor choking on blood.

It's messy and uncoordinated and definitely not how Jane imagined his plan ending.

XXX

It's raining when Lisbon finally finds him.

She slides onto the bench beside him, but doesn't speak (she's so tired of always leading; it's his turn).

"Hi, Lisbon," he says softly, because sometimes he can read her mind and really, he thinks that he might love her.

"Jane." She will never make things easy for him.

He shifts, wincing slightly as a cold stream of rain runs down the back of his shirt. "You didn't need to come find me, you know. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself." (But really, he's not, and he can't, and he's still terrified of the monsters under his bed.)

Lisbon's fingers brush against his as she chokes back a harsh laugh. "Says the man who just yesterday tried to convince me that not only do Santa and the Easter Bunny exist, but that there's also a Thanksgiving Elf."

Jane's face lights up for a minute. "That's because there is, Lisbon."

"Uh huh."

He chuckles softly at the look she's giving him, and then turns his face to the sky, becoming serious once more. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, about Red John's life being more important than yours." He finds her hand and holds on tightly. "You're incredibly important to me."

Something catches in Lisbon's throat, and suddenly she feels like crying. "Come home with me." It comes out strangled and sad and meaningful.

Jane looks at her carefully, eyes dark and thoughtful. "All right."

XXX

He knows as soon as he meets her.

She will save him.