"The night is silent and Christmas is here. I couldnt ask for more than havin' you near. Cuz I love you girl, (love you girl) And I always will, (Always will) And now I know the moment is right. Cuz I've been waiting to give this gift tonight, I'm down on my knees, there's no better time. It's something to last for as long as you live, Tonight I'm gonna give you, (oh girl) all my heart can give."
"Oh come on really?" Amanda groaned, growing seriously sick of the mushy damn Christmas songs the radio was choosing to play.
"Come on what Rollins? Let me guess you're a scrooge and dont like Christmas music." spoke a husky female voice. She knew to be Liv.
She glanced up and sure enough there was her beautiful lieutenant standing at her desk. Amanda chuckled "These damn sappy ass Christmas songs. Like shit where the hell is 'Jingle Bells'? No all I hear is this whining shit for a lover. Single people dont wanna hear that shit, especially if they plan on drinking themselves into oblivion over the holiday."
Liv shook her head, smirking "Well since it's almost quittin' time you'll soon get your wish Amanda." Amanda smiled. "Thank god, but Ill have to deal with all the cheery people when I leave. 'Merry Christmas lady. Have you been good for Santa?' The last time I was asked that..." Liv cocked her head at Amanda "The last time you were asked what? Amanda?" Amanda's eyes hid a pain that was obvious Amanda still suffered with. "Oh Olivia, let's not go there. I dont wanna ruin your holiday with my demons."
"Fair enough. But besides drinking yourself into oblivion, what are your plans?" Liv asked the smaller blonde. She wasnt trying to question her subordinate to death, but where it was the holidays people tend to get depressed and fall back into bad habits. Amanda scowled "Liv I have no plans on gambling if thats what you are implying. My life is already fucked up enough as it is, I dont need to make it worse. Like I said I'm gonna go get some beer, tequila, whiskey and just drink myself silly till this damn season is over. Is that okay with you? I wont come to work drunk or hungover either. I just wanna be numb. Do I have your permission to do that? Not like I need it anyway."
Liv had only been trying to be nice, but that wall that Amanda had built up around herself was there big time. Not that she blamed her, it was hard this time of year especially when you are alone. She wandered back into her office to start collecting her things. As she did she saw Amanda finally get up, found herself staring as since it was Christmas eve, Rollins was getting up to leave. Holy hell she hadnt really seen her in jeans before, but then again she never really got this side of Amanda. She didnt normally take her time getting up from her chair.
'Goddamn that woman has a nice ass. Not to mention a hell of a figure too. Olivia Benson stop that. You just practically pissed that woman off, now is not the time to be lusting over her. Get your hormones in check. Remember last time you took a lady from the office home. Alex ring a bell? Watch yourself Benson.' What harm could be in asking her coworker to spend the holiday with her. Shit they could both just get drunk for Christmas.
"Hey Amanda, what would you say if I were to invite you over and we just get drunk for Christmas? For one we wouldnt be drinking alone and two it could be kinda fun?"
Amanda thought for a few seconds, 'what could it hurt? I wouldnt be alone with my thoughts and depressed. might actually be fun.'
"Sure Liv. What the hell? You play any games? I know cards are off the table, no pun intended. But maybe like scrabble or something?" feeling slightly awkward Amanda rubbed her now sweaty hands along her dark blue denim jeans and looked down. Liv smiled, she had never seen Amanda this shy and awkward before. It was actually kind of a turn on. Amanda looked at Liv. "So if thats what we are gonna do, do you mind me running to my apartment quickly and meeting you at your place?" Liv nodded. "Thats fine Amanda, or if you like I can give you a lift to your apartment since it is on the way, let you grab your things and then make a stop at the liquor store. I do need to stock up on wine." Amanda shrugged, "Sure why not. Beats freezing my ass off waiting for the metro."
With that Amanda picked up her purse, grabbed her cellphone and put her jacket on.
"Ready when you are Liv." Liv put her jacket on as well and stuffed her phone in her purse, crossing her fingers that tonight her and Amanda could just kick back and have a girls night with no interruptions. "Let's get out of here while we still can Amanda." Liv smiled. Amanda smiled back "You aint gotta tell me twice, lets get the fuck outta here and get our drink on." Liv was happy to see Amanda kinda light hearted. She knew the blonde was a lil lost with the holiday after all that she went through with Kim this past year. They made their stop at the liquor store, both of them having the biggest urge to get completely trashed over this shitty holiday. What neither of them realized was the other was crushing big time. Amanda giggled "Okay I'mma say this now, I'm not responsible for what happens once I'm drunk. You cant hold it against me." Liv looked at Amanda shaking her head. "Okay than that will work if its the same rules for me." Amanda nodded. Then murmured "Only you can hold me against you all you want." Liv looked over at Amanda 'did she really just say what I think she did?' She was about to find out. "What was that Amanda?" Amanda stood straight up knowing she had been heard, but wanted to play it off. "Nothing Liv. I was talking bout the booze over here." She hoped Liv would let it be, and she did. They went and stocked up for the night and tomorrow. Amanda choosing her whiskey and beer. Liv chose her wine. The woman loved a red wine.
Back onto Liv's apartment. Amanda was singing along with the Christmas tunes in the car. Thankfully she had found an upbeat fun one. When they got there they hustled upstairs as it had gotten excessively cold. Entering the apartment Amanda waited til Liv told her to come in. "Hey put the bag of the good stuff on the table and go ahead and change into something more comfortable. Is there a game you'd like to play?" Amanda shrugged, "um since we are both intellectual how bout we try some scrabble?" Liv agreed and as Amanda went to change in the bathroom, she changed in her room. Both of them settling on some comfy sweats and while Liv donned a t-shirt, Amanda donned a tank top, showed off her chiseled arms. Since Liv had emerged first she dug out the game and set them up. She planned on placing some lil wagers maybe to get the mood going. When she saw Amanda come out in that tank top with those arms she just about foamed from her mouth. "Damn Amanda you happen to work out much?" she knew the blonde infact kept in shape and worked out regularly. Amanda felt her cheeks get hot with the compliment, her eyes showed she was blushing. "I gotta keep myself in shape, especially with the assholes we have to bust. Let's get this game started." They played and first game off Liv won. She was gonna take a chance and see if she could get Amanda to play a lil get to know game. "So Amanda since I won, I wanna ask you a question." Amanda took a sip of her beer, "Do I need a shot of whiskey, the look on your face says this might be a doozy." Liv smiled it was only game one, "Nahh it's only the first round. Easy question. Which are you more how should I say this?" taking a deep breath she asked "which team do you play for?" After hearing the question Amanda sputtered on her beer. "Damn Liv, open up with the shot worthy question. Um I am bisexual but for the last few years more into the ladies." Liv satisfied that her question was answered and honestly they went back to playing the game. Liv won a few more games. Got her questions answered. Amanda was more into ladies. She favored brunettes and she liked her booze strong.
Finally after about an hour Amanda won a game. Since both of them were pretty well drunk her winning word brought tears to their eyes. "BOOBIES" Amanda laughing well damn who knew bodyparts could score so much. She had hit the double and triple word score. Landing her like a 300 point lead. Liv laughing as she spoke "Boobies Amanda, really? You went there?" Amanda nodding, "Yup sure did, and it got me a shit ton of points too." They played a few more games, Amanda winning more. And both of them highly drunk. Amanda was drunk as hell, and when she was drunk she tended to get how you say "touchy feely", she kept touching Liv's arm. Slurring her words "So Liv since you asked me my preference, now I'm going to turn it on you and ask you what your preference is. Do you prefer boobies and ass or just peckers and ass?" Liv was hysterical with laughter with the way Amanda asked that question. "Well Amanda, hell of a way to ask that might I add. Liv leaned closer to the blonde who was just as drunk as she was. Manda expecting a slap in the face backed up. Liv not taking the hint or realizing that Amanda thought she was gonna get hit, gently touched Amanda's face. Softly speaking in a warm tone "Amanda, you have the softest skin" touching Amanda's lip with her finger, Amanda's eyes fluttered shut, Liv took her chance to show Amanda the answer to her question. She kissed Amanda's lips gently at first, her tongue licking to be gain entrance inside Amanda's mouth. Amanda granting permission to Liv's tongue, and meeting it with her own. Tongues exploring each other with a needy passion. Each tasting the desired booze drank by the other. Liv pushed Amanda back on the couch, lowering herself between Amanda's legs. Amanda grunting easily at the weight of the other woman against her, turning her on immensly, Amanda breaking the kiss easily so they could both get some air. Amanda's voice husky when she talked "well holy shit Liv." Liv smiled, "did that at least tell you the answer to your question? Hurry up and answer cause those luscious lips are begging to be kissed again."
The drunken make out session continued. Hands caressing everywhere, Liv just couldnt get enough of the feel of Amanda's soft muscle toned body. She began to nip at Amanda's neck and pulse point. "mmm Liv" Amanda hummed. Amanda letting her hands up under Liv's tshirt, gently rubbing the soft skin. Liv continued to kiss Amanda's neck, reaching her hands up inside the lightly ribbed tanktop. "Manda you feel so nice." Amanda grinned. "You do too Liv, but hold up just a minute." She propped herself up on her elbows, Liv looked into her cerulean eyes. "What is it Amanda? You okay?" Amanda smirked, she was okay well more than okay thats for sure. She just wanted to make sure Liv wanted this as she did. She couldnt handle regrets in the am. "Um you obviously can tell I am totally into you, but I really dont want this to be a "random cause we are lonely tryst." Liv kissed her quickly "Amanda I dont think this is what that will be. I see a friendship growing into something more and meaningful."
After just cuddling for a lil bit, Liv started kissing Amanda's forehead again. "Hey if you want we can just cuddle for Christmas or we can begin something new and make memories and go from there." Amanda looked at her, "I just cant take another heartache Liv. Not this year, not after all the shit with Kim. I'm strong but not that strong." Liv kissed her cheek this time, "Amanda I'm not after a Christmas fuck. I'm after more. There's something bout you. Cannot put into words what exactly it is, I can show you." With that Liv leaned back pulling Amanda gently on top of her, kissing her lips. Amanda sensing the sincerity in Liv's touches and kisses leaned into Liv's arms and kissed her back with the same passion. Breaking the kiss shortly after for necessity of air, but staying in each others arms.
Cuddling by the fireplace, and actually having someone there meant the most to them on this Christmas.
Amanda breaking the silence between them, "you know what Liv? you really made Christmas bearable for me. I cant thank you enough. So with that Merry Christmas Liv." Amanda kissed her cheek. Liv smiled, "Yes you made it bearable too, you with your winning 'boobies'. It has been the best Christmas I've had. Thank you Amanda, and Merry Christmas." As she said that she snuggled the blonde closer. The woman had won her heart over in a matter of a few hours.
They had found happiness in the holiday they had dreaded and wanted to just forget. Guess fate had other ideas.
Merry Christmas 2017