If You Stay: Chapter 1

A Hidashi (Hiro x Tadashi Fanfiction)

!Warning!: May contain offensive language, sexual interactions, triggers such as hospitalization, burn scars, age difference, and incest between two brothers in later chapters...

It had been over a month now since the explosion. That one day had changed Hiro's life for the worse; the brother he had looked up to had now been laying in a hospital bed, and worse of all is that he wasn't sure if he was ever going to wake up. The doctors had said he was lucky to be alive, but they weren't sure when he was going to get out of a coma. Hiro could only sit and wait by his brother's bedside, even almost for days at a time, for his brother to wake up.

Hiro: "Hey Janet." He said to the nurse at the front desk as she waved to him as she usually did. Hiro had come into the hospital a little bit earlier than usual; he liked to be alone most of the time he went to see his brother. As he was passing down the halls, he carried a bouquet of flowers for Tadashi's bedside table since the old ones were looking a bit sadder than they were supposed to.

After walking down what seemed like an endless hallway of doors and stairs, Hiro finally reached Tadashi's room.

Hiro: He sighed as he opened the door and then called out hopefully, "Hey 'Dashi! It's me again!" Sadly like always, there was no response from his brother as he just layed there with his eyes closed. Hiro let out another sigh, shook his head, and walked to the corner of the room on the other side of his brother's bed as usual. He took out the old flowers and replaced them with the new ones and stood up some of the numerous cards that had been left by countless of people for Tadashi. Sitting down on the chair next to his bed, Hiro relaxed a bit as he took his usual spot as he always did; he never had school so he always tried to come in every single day.

"...Tadashi..." Hiro said under his breath looking at his brother just laying there almost motionless besides the faint rising and falling of his chest. The doctor's had done a lot of surgery when he came into the hospital the first time after the explosion, but they said they could never fix the scars that had been left by the fire. Now as Hiro looked as his brother, he could see the half of Tadashi's face that had been burned. He had gotten used to what his brother looked like now, but it still made his stomach turn...

Hiro: "What if I had stopped him?...What if I had tried harder...What if..." He said over and over in his mind every time he had looked at the scars. He shook his head after a while and scuffed up his black hair. He knew what he should be thinking about is if Tadashi was ever going to wake up, not if he could change the past.

It had been a couple of hours since Hiro had came into the hospital, and once Hiro heard the door open, he rubbed his eyes and looked at who was coming in to see Tadashi. Aunt Cass smiled at Hiro, and he smiled back.

Hiro: "Hey Aunt Cass. Wh...Why are you here?" He said while still rubbing his eyes and yawning a bit. He must of fallen asleep because he felt a little drowsy and was in a weird position on the chair.

Aunt Cass: "Well I'm here to give my adorable nephew his lunch!..." she held out a brown paper sack with her bakery logo on it. As she handed it to him, she also added, "And I'm here to give you a little break as well."

Hiro: "You know Cass...I really do-" he was cut off by his aunt kneeling next to him and speaking to him in a gentle, yet serious tone.

Aunt Cass: "Don't need a break, huh?...Hiro...you know the hospital would call us if he woke up...I know it's been hard on you. And I know how much it means to you to be here when he does wake up, but you don't have to keep coming here EVERY day...What about college?...Ta-" she was cut off by Hiro speaking in a hushed, somewhat angry voice.

Hiro: "I know what he would of wanted! You think I don't know that!..." He crossed his arms as he said it and huffed glancing a little bit at Tadashi in the bed. He most certaintly knew this isn't what Tadashi wanted for him to be doing right now, but he didn't care. He wanted to be there...he wanted to be the first thing his brother saw...just like the last thing he saw before..."Before all of this happened..." he finished in his mind.

Aunt Cass: "...I know..." she said as she put a hand on his knee and looked up at him. "But even I think you should at least take a break. Just for a little bit, okay?" she put out a forced smile trying to hold back the tears. She really did miss him too, but she was his only family now; she had to be the strong one.

Hiro: He turned a little, looked at the window behind him, and then back at his aunt. "...I...I...I'll think about it, okay?..." he said to her solemnly.

Aunt Cass: "Okay then. Well I have to head back to the bakery then..." she smiled and stood up placing the bag back in the middle of Hiro's lap. As she turned to walk out she looked back at Hiro, and then at Tadashi. She let a brief moment pass before she headed out the door and out of the hospital.

Hiro had only eaten a little bit of Cass's lunch that she had brought him. He hadn't really been too hungry the past month and that wasn't about to change now. A couple hours had went by again and Hiro had gotten comfortable in his chair looking at Tadashi, then at the window, and then at Tadashi again. Hiro still had a backpack that he had brought with some stuff to tinker with for a couple of bot fights coming up, but now wasn't the time. He was thinking about what Cass had said to him.

Hiro: "...c...could I really go to college?" he wondered inside his mind. Of course he didn't want to even think about leaving his brother alone in the hospital, but he wondered, when Tadashi did wake up, if he would ever go to college at all. He started pondering over and over about this all while watching Tadashi just lay there.

Hiro sighed and scooted the chair a little bit closer to Tadashi's bed; he never really talked to his brother like this, but he thought it would be comforting. Now that Hiro was close enough to Tadashi, he started to talk to him.

Hiro: "Tadashi...'Dashi...it's me...Hiro..." he started off feeling a little embarrassed talking to someone who probably wasn't listening at all. "I...I just wanted to say...um..." he choked a little as he said, "I...I miss you..." Taking a deep breath, he took a moment to get his mind straight again before he started to talk again. "Aunt Cass...she wants me to try to go to college...I don't know if I can 'Dashi. I don't think I'll be as good as you." He shrugs his shoulders and rests his arms against the side of the bed; he rests his chin against his arms and starts to talk again. "Come on Tadashi...wake up...I need you..." he said over and over again while getting quieter and quieter. Just when his voice was about to crack, he yelled out, "TADASHI COME BACK TO ME!" When he got no response, he started to cry. Hiro buried his face into his arms and cried into the bed sheets. It was true that he had missed his brother so much. He couldn't take it anymore without his big brother to help him out. He kept crying and crying until he couldn't cry anymore.

Hiro had finally calmed down after a couple of minutes and was now sitting up again resting his elbow on the arm of the chair. He couldn't stop thinking; he wanted his mind to be blank, but it kept racing. So instead of just sitting there, he decided to talk about what was going through his head.

Hiro: ''Hey remember that time you helped me build my first robot or taught me how to create fiberglass armor?...that was...really cool bro...Maybe when you wake up you can teach me some more...Remember when you got that really bad haircut?...I laughed so hard that I sprayed my soda on the cat!...You never took off that hat after that...when you wake up we could take you to cut your hair again..." he went on and on saying things that he would do with Tadashi when he woke up. It went on for a couple hours or so until Hiro had fallen asleep with his head resting against Tadashi's arm and his hand holding Tadashi's.

Hiro dreamed of what life would be like after Tadashi woke up. It was a happy dream; Hiro had never had a good dream after the explosion, and this was the first time it ever happened. It was a weird dream for him though...he dreamed that he was laying in his brother's bed...and that Tadashi was laying next to him...and then the next moment passed...then suddenly Tadashi had kissed him...Then from the distance he felt something pulling him back to reality...

The Next Day...

Hiro woke to the sound of Aunt Cass shaking his shoulder and sitting him upright on the chair again. He groaned and rubbed his eyes looking at her. He felt so tired from talking all day and he felt really wierded out after his dream. He needed a moment, but he knew he would have to wait a little bit.

Aunt Cass: "Hey there sleepy head!...It looks like you've been in here all of yesterday! Let's go take a walk outside, okay? The fresh air will help wake you up." she said smiling at him and urging him to stand up. Surprisingly, he did, and he let her take him outside and walk around the hospital crosswalks near the trees and the courtyards.

After they had found a spot, Aunt Cass sat down on a grassy spot in the middle of the lawn while Hiro joined her. Cass pulled out some food and handed a bagel to Hiro; he started to eat right away unusually because he had never really eaten a lot.

Aunt Cass: "Wow...I haven't seen you eat this much since-" she was cut off by Hiro smiling at her with a mouthful of bagel.

Hiro: "It's really good Cass! Good job." he said with his mouthful as he ate; he thought if he kept his mind, and his stomach, occupied, the dream would fade away. He looked around at the beautiful sky and green grass and listened to the sounds of distant cars and chatter. It seemed so peaceful, yet on the inside, Hiro's mind couldn't stop thinking about his dream. His mind raced around the idea of his brother, HIS OWN BROTHER, kissing him. "Why would I ever think of that?" he thought to himself. He tried to think of kissing someone else like a really hot girl he had seen walking to the hospital yesterday, but the thought of Tadashi kept coming back to him.

Aunt Cass: She interrupted his train of thought by touching his shoulder a little and saying, "Hey Hiro, you look a little tense. What's up buddy?" She tired to act cool in front of him and yet gentle at the same time. She knew he was having a tough time, but she wanted to make sure everything was alright.

Hiro was just about to say something when she heard her cellphone ring. She answered it looking at Hiro; suddenly tears started to roll down her face as her face remained emotionless. Hiro looked very sternly and stiff; he knew it was probably about Tadashi. All of the questions raced through his mind: all of the bad ones included. Aunt Cass slowly closed her phone, set it down, and then looked down a little before covering her eyes a little and whiping her tears. Hiro looked down at her and set a gentle hand on her back; he didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong for his Aunt.

Hiro: "...I...I..." he tried to say something comforting, but only asked, "A...Aunt Cass...are you alright?..." he was already holding back tears that he knew would flow if he heard those words he had dreaded for the past month..."Is...Is he alright?" he thought in the back of his mind.

Aunt Cass: She could only cry and wrap her arms around Hiro; he did the same as she cried into her nephew's shoulder. She tried to speak, but it only came out in gentle mumbles. "He...He...T...Tad...Tadashi..." she tried to start but couldn't let her voice come though.

Hiro: "Is he?..." he couldn't bare to say the word. He asked this simple question while comforting his aunt. Everything else he had been thinking about was pushed away and all he could think about was Tadashi and only him. He wanted his brother. He needed to know.