Hello again! Another Orihime one-shot for you all. Do enjoy.
XX
Not for Me
I guess the first thing you see when you look at me is my utter non-warrior-ness. I mean, it's all over me: long hair, big, childlike eyes, always-smiling face, wistful voice, big boobs. I'm not like Momo, who has worked too hard for her status to be doubted, despite recent events, or Rangiku, whose persona of constantly drunk bimbo is so obviously simply a façade. I'm just…me. I have no sword, no real weapon of mentioning. I heal, and I heal well, but I am not out on the front lines, battling for some reason or another. I am the one they—the fighters—return home to, to be patched up and comforted, not to be reminisced with, only to thank.
And I do not mind, because I know I am not strong enough. Rukia says I am, but I know that my presence on the battlefield would be definitely a burden. But then again, it always is. I was the one that Uryu had to look after when we were in Soul Society, I was the one kidnapped in Hueco Mundo. And it's still me that is the cheerleader and the optimist, trying to lift everyone's spirits when there is nothing to lift. I am to be coddled and protected, not thrust into the brutal, harsh world of war. That's what everyone tells me, at least.
Honestly, though, I don't mind that much. Oh, I mind being taken advantage of and being kept ignorant, because I believe I deserve to know. But I don't mind being left behind when they go to fight, because I know it's better for everyone. My world is safe like that: I can stay behind and in the shadows and not worry about looking over my shoulder. I can return to my normal life whenever I've had enough of blood and tears. I can go back to high school and go on to a normal life, and get married and have kids and a family and die of old age.
That's why I don't belong in Soul Society, because I am not a warrior. Their society is totally dedicated to keeping the peace by whatever means necessary. Every single high-ranking member of the Gotei 13 (the ones I'm most associated with) knows that when the time comes, they will do absolutely anything, follow any order at any time, to keep Seritei safe. Rangiku-chan will kill the man she loves, Momo-chan will put her captain behind her, Soifon-taichou will turn her back on Yoruichi-san, Hisagi-san will accuse Tosen-san. They will lie and deceive and murder with no hesitation because they are soldiers and that is what they are trained to do—that's what they have to do.
I just can't do that, and that is why I am not a shinigami, nor a soldier. I am me, and I don't belong there.
XX
AAAAAAAND there you go! I hope you all enjoyed! We have yet another snow day tomorrow, so expect A Time of Firsts to be updated soon!
Review on the way out, it inspires me to write!