Please forgive this little waste of time on my part, just playing Batman Arkham Asylum and just finished the morgue and scarecrow dream section and this went through my mind (after I'd finished been freaked out) so please enjoy...or look at the screen and think "You prat." Strong language and certain references to zombies...which are scary. It's rated M for a reson people. (Also must warn about an inexcusable amount of violence towards my favourite villain which I DO NOT condone in the slightest. Remember kids, hug a scarecrow and make a sandwich for him once a day to stop him gassing you)
Batman cautiously opened the door. The voice was growing louder and louder"GET OUT...GET OUT!" Now Batman had never once thought that Arkham was a bad concept, after all, he sent most of his victims there instead of Blackgate. But Jesus Christ! If this was the music been played over and over again, no wonder nobody was cured! What the hell was wrong with playing something classical? Walking into the room, he saw three body bags laid out on three gurneys. "Fuuuck! I hate this place! Just had to be body bags didn't it?" Mumbled Batman to no one in particular. "I'm going to kill you Crane."
Edging closer, one of the bags was wriggling. Concerned that one of the doctors or staff were in there, Batman hurriedly unzipped it. He immediately wished that he didn't. "Oh Jesus! Hang on...dad?" Staring directly at the corpse of his father, Batman resisted the urge to throw up.
"You should have stood up to him Bruce, like a man." His father's reanimated corpse moaned.
"How do I do that father?" Batman asked confused. Forgetting he was speaking to a zombie, Batman was overcome with confusion as to how to stand up to someone with a perchance to dress as Worzel Gummage who liked throwing questionable drugs around like he was some drugs dealer in Malaga. Instead of an answer to this conundrum, Zombie Wayne Senior seemed to have remembered George Romero's rules of zombie films (in that they can't actually speak) and had resorted to writhing around the gurney moaning. Exasperated, Batman zipped it back up before his dad discovered a sudden appetite for human flesh. Backing away absent minded, he banged into the parallel gurney,causing the inhabitant of the metal tray to begin fidgeting in its bag moaning theatrically. "Oh what now?" He muttered exasperated. Unzipping it, he saw himself starring at the zombie version of his mother. Not even bothering to listen to her, he re zipped the bag and looked at the third body bag randomly placed.
"Oh screw this!" He snapped angrily, "I've had it with these mother fucking zombies in this motherfucking building!" Before performing a body slam on the bag without even bothering to open it.
"OWWWWWWWWWW!" Came a rather high pitched squeal the bag, which rolled off the gurney and landing on the floor, resulting in yet another girlish scream. Batman dutifully unzipped the bag to behold Dr. Jonathan Crane in all his impressive scarecrow finery (though what a hangman's noose had to do with scarecrows was beyond Batman) writhing around in pain and all in all, not looking impressed. "You tosser!" Screamed Scarecrow, "Why the fuck would you do that? Ow! Seriously! Who does that?" Batman, not stopping to exchange with the former doctor (who was now screaming about how Batman had broken his spine), promptly picked him up and threw him into a wall.
"How you get fangirls, I'll never understand." Muttered Batman, before carrying on his merry way. "Now, to find Gordon, otherwise Barbra probably won't cook dinner tonight."