Ok I usually don't like writing things that don't go along with the story line but well I just really wanted to write it

This chapter is really serious but the next chapters will be better that much but its still good!

DISCLAIMER- nothing belongs to me sept the plot so go fuck ursleves..

BE MY HEROIN, BE MY DRUG

CHAPTER 1

Even though the sun was shining, and the birds singing, Roxas couldn't help but look through his clouded eyes into a dark abyss. People stared at him as he walked absentmindedly down the street. The dirt caked onto the boy and the tattered and grimy clothes gave away a lot. The sidewalks were always packed but Roxas never had a problem getting through because the crowd would move out of their way to get as far as they could away from him. The people looked down on him in either disgust or pity and Roxas just learned to ignore them eventually. It was afternoon and Roxas was dreading the night to come.

Sometimes Roxas hated living in traverse town. It had grown so much like a big city full of bad or busy or even stupid people. The city had grown four times the size since Sora and Riku saved the worlds the second time. Sometimes Roxas wished he could go back to destiny islands with the rest of his friends, but he knew he couldn't, not after what he did. He was doomed the rest of his life here in traverse town. Heck he couldn't even depend on his parents. He was only sixteen and yet he was kicked out and thrown in the streets by his own parents. But he deserved it didn't he? After what he did, didn't he deserve neglect and abandonment?

Roxas scanned the curb of the sidewalk and then he spotted it. A trashcan, green and rusted, with a blue newspaper stand next to it, stood there calling to the hunger in Roxas. He walked up to the nasty garbage disposal and looked inside. The rim was covered in ashes from cigarettes spilled drinks and mustard offs someone's "Famous Joe's" hot dog. The inside was worse then the rim, with a collection of different foods and drinks. Cigarettes, coffee cups, newspapers, ice cream and things of the sort all scattered and bunched together.

Roxas hated to do it but not having eaten in three days he was desperate and starving. Roxas looked around frantically and then slowly he closed his eyes and put his hand inside the can. In an attempt to cover his face, he leaned onto the edge and peered inside.

He moved the empty cups and newspapers. After a quick search through the trash, Roxas almost gave up but then he saw it. A half-eaten cheeseburger and some fries inside a McDonald's food bag. Roxas grabbed the bag and then lifted out of the wastebasket. Ashamed and disgusted by his own actions he slipped through the crowd and stepped into a back alley.

The alley was strangely bright for its tight narrow passage, and Roxas didn't even scan the area before he sat down on the cigarette-butt infested ground, pulled out his newly acquired food, and began eating.

Roxas ate slowly despite his starvation, knowing that if he ate fast he would throw up. The food was old and dry but it was at least something to satisfy him for now. He finished the food and then tossed the bag onto the ground and slipped back into the crowded sidewalk again.

Roxas was feeling a bit sick as he felt goose bumps on his arms and his eyes begin to water. He had been through this before, multiple times actually. It would start with goose bumps and watery eyes but then it would get worse, far worse. He would get jittery and begin to shake. Cramps, unbearable cramps and loss of sleep would come and then vomiting and sweating. He hated it. Roxas felt so awful but the only way to get back to normal would be to shoot up.

Roxas quickened his pace and pulled his trench coat sleeves over his hands. He scanned the large mass and quickly spotted a round woman about 5'3. She was putting her large blue wallet in her purse and holding a bag of groceries not paying attention to where she was going and Roxas, walking full speed slammed straight into her. Her purse and provisions scattered around the two as the people moved their way around them and some of them stopped to gasp at the collision. Roxas, muttering small apologies began picking up the woman's things and handing them back to her as they both got up.

The woman brushed herself off and scowled at him as she smugly stated that Roxas should watch where he was going. The woman snatched the purse Roxas was handing her and stalked off down the walkway. Roxas smiled to himself as he thought about how stupid people could be, and then pulled out a large blue wallet and opened it up.

The wallet had about one hundred dollars and three credit cards. A driver's license and social security card filled the pockets along with a few gift cards and family pictures. Roxas pulled the cash out and then dropped the wallet into a postal box. Roxas was beginning to shake now and was beginning to feel uneasy.

Roxas knew exactly where to go and he made haste down the sidewalk and into a dark passage. It was beginning to get dark now, and the trashcan fires had been lit. The path lead to an abandoned warehouse where underground dogfights were frequently held. Screaming and hollering were coming from the direction that Roxas was heading to and as soon as the passageway opened up into a large run down lot. The lot held the entrance to the warehouse and people were fighting there way in. Many smaller alleys that lead to smaller buildings were around the circumference of the huge lot. However, those were usually controlled by the highest of gangs and drug dealers.

Even though the mob was pressing with large angry threats at the entrance there were always people outside just loitering. Some were selling special seats inside the building and many of them were prostitutes. There were drug dealers and many drunk or high individuals. The place reeked of piss and human perspiration. There was trash and broken bottles everywhere. Roxas cautiously walked into the familiar environment and his face-hardened immediately. He passed the begging prostitutes and scalpers, and the angry mob. He walked up to a corner, where a narrow alleyway was and began to walk down it slowly and calmly.

The shakes were worse now and a cold sweat had started in. He started to get chills and knowing all these symptoms, Roxas knew he had to get there quicker. Roxas quickened his pace and finally he was at the end of the lane. He turned to the left and looked at the large man before him.

The man was big. Roxas had only seen him a few times inside the building but he never really paid attention to him. The large male had light brown skin and was wearing a black t-shirt and baggy jeans. There was a chain around his neck that had some symbol on it that represented his gang. There was a red handkerchief hanging from his back pocket and his arms were folded across his chest crossly.

The guard spoke in a deep growl like voice, "what do you want?"

"I need to see Big J." Roxas answered.

"You got an appointment?" the man said.

"No. but I need to see him," Roxas said more aggressively.

"Too bad now scram kid." the man yelled.

"LOOK I NEED TO SEE HIM!" Roxas finally screamed.

The man grabbed Roxas's shirt and slammed him into the wall beside them. About to take a rock hard fist to the face the man stopped when he heard Roxas scream chino.

Chino was a pass that only Big J gave to people to let them pass through without a hassle. The man slowly lowered Roxas to the ground and muttered a small 'excuse me' as he knocked on the door two times. A small section at the top of the door opened and the man mumbled something to the person inside and the door opened. There stood a tall lanky white guy, his hair was messed up and he was leaning on the frame of the door with a crazed look in his eyes. Roxas was forced through the door harshly and the white guy started to walk down the narrow hallway.

The concrete walls were covered in grime and soot. In addition, the cement flooring was cracked and weeds were growing out of them. Roxas shuddered inside as he remembered these hallways. The lanky person began to speak almost like a crazy pedophile on speed. He kept talking as he staggered and stumbled all the way past each door to another door with another guard.

The lanky guy said something in a breathy and creepy voice to the other man.

This guard was about 5'10 and he looked Hispanic. He was skinny but built. He nodded and turned around and knocked an odd beat on the door then opened it.

Roxas was beginning to feel very sick and he began to get muscle cramps as he followed into a large room filled with many men and some women.

The room was large and luxurious. There were TVs and game systems a bar, and small kitchen. The room had couches and tables, and there were drinks and cups everywhere. There were four doors one, which was open Roxas realized was a bathroom.

Another door right next to the kitchen, Roxas recognized as big J's office/bedroom. The others he did not know. Roxas was jittery now and he could feel the cold sweeping across his body.

Roxas ran his eyes over the gang and finally found Big J who had abruptly stopped laughing along with the others when he had come in. Big J stood up with an angry face and moved slowly around the table and couches towards Roxas.

Roxas could feel his heart beating rapidly as fear over took him. He could see the other guys turn in their seat and begin to snicker amongst each other. Roxas held his breath as Big J came close to his face and his eyes bore into Roxas' ocean blue orbs. For about fifteen seconds Big J stayed there. His slightly overweight, but built body was standing in questioning stance, as he glared at Roxas. He had a red handkerchief in his back pocket and had red shoes, hat, and shirt. The gang belt buckle like the one on the chain he wore held up his baggy blue jeans. Roxas could see the gun in the front of his pants and he felt vile start to rise inside of him.

Then all of the sudden Big J laughed aloud and picked Roxas up in a big bear hug. The room erupted in laughter and loud obnoxious noise. Roxas was so surprised by the action that he let his perfected mask fall and he tightened up in the grip.

Big J finally released him and ushered him over to sit with the rest of the guys. He called to one of the girls and made them bring a new round of beers.

"So boy, what ya here for?" Big J said in a relaxed voice.

Roxas pulled out the money he recently stole and held it in his hand as he shook violently, "I need some white girl."

Just then, Roxas felt the vomit rise through his thought and he leaned over the couch and emptied his stomach on the floor. The other men hollered and grunted as Roxas finally stopped and turned back to his dealer. Big J recognized Roxas's symptoms and asked how long he had been off, Roxas answered two days. Big J took the money and took Roxas to a room that had beads in front as a door, and there was a table a dresser and a long couch. The room was tiny and the lights were red. Big J motioned for Roxas to sit and then he went to the dresser pulled out a syringe, filled it with a brown tar-like substance, and handed it to Roxas. Roxas took it and Big J left the room.

Roxas ripped a piece of his sleeve and tied it tight around his upper arm. Roxas took a deep breath and positioned the syringe near the vein in his arm. Two men came into the room and stood at the door. Roxas proceeded with the task, pressed the needle into his skin and squeezed the shot the substance into the vein. Roxas pulled the needle out, lay his head on the back of the couch, and felt the relief. He felt the high, the rush he got every time he shot up. He felt the warmth spread throughout him but this time it was different. It was stronger this time, more fast and harsh.

Roxas closed his eyes and let his mind slip into that euphoria as he felt the men at the door come close and grab him roughly. He felt himself being dragged through doors and hallways. Soon he felt the wetness of something being dropped onto his skin. He opened his eyes. It was raining and he was being dragged toward a car. He fought and struggled against his escorts but their grip only tightened. He was thrown harshly into the back of the car and the car sped off. Roxas tried to get up but fell each time until a man beside him hit him hard and told Roxas to stop moving.

The car skidded off to the side and two men got out dragged Roxas out and threw him at the wall. Roxas felt the pressure but pain, there was none. Roxas slid into a sitting position against the wall as he watched the to men punch and kick and beat into him. He could see the blows he was to receive but he made no sound. There was no pain. Finally bruised, broken, and bleeding the men left in the car and the rain continued to beat on Roxas.

Roxas leaned his head back against the wall and let the tears fall. He screamed aloud in anger and shame.

"Damn it! What did I do to deserve this? I can't take it anymore!" Roxas screamed and finally he closed his eyes and mumbled to himself.

"I just want to go home. I miss you Axel, and Sora, Riku, and Namine, I miss you Kairi and Hayner and Pence and Olette. I miss you guys so much…" he fumbled and slurred his words as we continued. "How did I get myself into this? I don't want it, I tried hard I really did. God this isn't worth it, I don't want it anymore!" Roxas's tear were heavy and they flowed as fluent as the rain.

The quicksilver drops fell against his beaten skin harshly. Roxas cried to himself as the night over took him. It was dark as he felt his mind slip away from him.

'Maybe I should just not wake up… nobody would miss me' Roxas thought to himself.

"That's not true! I would," Roxas heard a familiar voice, a familiar line, and he opened his eyes to meet piercing green orbs before he fell back into the dark abyss that was calling him.

Linelinelinelinelinelinelineline

Ok!! So that turned out odder than I expected but w/e! I like it!! Ill have the next chapter up by like upp 2maro??

Idk but I will haha

And itll be yumminess!!!!

Reviews please!!

Ill reply I promise!

Heres a bakie!!

-Hizeme-