I'm taking a break from You Promised Jack for a while. I've been ill alot recently and I've been focusing on my early entry GCSE's and the storys just vanished from my head, sorry. I'll try and get back to writing some chapters soon. But for now, were going back to Ianto Jones' teenage years. What happened when he was younger that made him the man he is? Here it is. Enjoy :)

14th February 1995

I've never really thought about writing a diary. Always thought it was a girl's thing. But right now, I need to tell someone how I'm feeling, I can't really tell my parents, mum's dying and tad's never really shown much interest in me. I can't tell Rhiannon either. She just doesn't understand. Writing a diary seems to be the only way I can talk about it.

We were a happy family up until about a year ago. We always went out to the cinema or for picnic's in the summer. Rhi and I... Well we got spoiled rotten. For my 10th birthday, I got loads of expensive presents. I loved life. Tad seemed to favour Rhi over me but he was still always there.

It all changed about a year ago. Mum changed, she kept saying she just had a sickness bug or a cold, her excuses varied. She went to the hospital for an operation and she kept having to have medicine. Tad started to get mad at me for no reason. He would always shout at me and I just took it. When I fell over and hurt my arm, tad told me that there was nothing wrong with my arm, to stop being selfish because mum was in more pain than I was. I didn't make a fuss, I did all the chores with one hand, my other arm hurt so much I couldn't move my hand, my arm was swelling. When mum woke up from her afternoon nap and saw my arm, she rushed me straight to the hospital. I had broken it, tad was wrong. Mum had asked me why I hadn't told anyone I had fallen over onto my arm and I told her I did but tad told me to stop being selfish because she was in more pain. When we got home, my arm in a cast and sling, mum shouted at tad for not caring more about me. He shouted back that she was more important. She shouted that me and Rhi were just as important as her. He stormed out and went to the pub.

That was five months ago. While tad was out, mum sat us down and told us the truth. Why she was so ill. Cancer. She had cancer. She told us she was having chemotherapy for it. She told us she was doing everything she could to get rid of it. That was just after my 11th birthday.

Two months ago, mum had come back from the hospital with tad. She had sat us down once more, "remember what I told you three months ago?" she had asked receiving a nod from both myself and Rhiannon. "I don't really know how to tell you two this but there's nothing more that the doctors can do" both of us were shocked. I couldn't really form any words, no matter how much a tried. "How long have you got?" Rhi said quietly. "Four to six months" mum had replied pulling us both into a big hug. "I love you both so much" she had said, kissing both of our heads as we cried. Tad just watched, sadness in his eyes.

Mum is so ill at the moment. I know what's going to happen. I hope for her sake, it happens peacefully, and soon because she is in so much pain right now. I can't bear to see her in that much pain.

Please God. I'm not asking for much. I asked before for you to save my mum. Maybe that was something you couldn't do. Mum's in pain. She told me she didn't want to leave us behind. I'm asking, no begging you to make sure my mum passes peacefully, to protect her when she has passed. To help her deal with the pain of leaving us behind. Tell her we'll be fine. Tad will look after us. I hope. Don't tell her the I hope bit. Please tell her that I will always love her and I will never forget her. Remind her of that every day. Please. Ianto.

There it is. It's sad I know. I actually cried writing it.
Please rate and review. I want to know what you think of it.

Leanne x