An: For Deadly Diva, the best muse I could possibly ask for. She's been pecking at me for months to write a Misao Aoshi one shot. So here is the fruit of her labor. Enjoy.
Aoshi closed his eyes, shoving the irritation he felt at this entire scenario aside. How he longed for the temple at the moment and tranquility it provided. The chirping of the birds, the fresh, clean, air of the temple. He opened those azure eyes again and looked around the room. Instead he was surrounded by the entire Oniwabanshuu. They all sat around him resplendent in fine clothing, with Misao at the head of the table, food sitting waiting to be had. The entire round of faces looked sullen, some of them even irritated and angry, others just uncomfortable, particularly Okina who was still recovering from his wounds that Aoshi himself had inflicted. Aoshi hid the wince he felt every time he looked at Okina.
Whose idea exactly was this to throw them all into the same room so soon after the Shishio incident and to pretend to get along? Aoshi stared down at the head of the table at Misao, who was making small talk with Okon and Omasu ,who were both shooting him veiled glances and replying to Misao at the same time. Ah yes. Misao…
She had thought of this idea. She had said it was going to be a homecoming celebration. It was painfully obvious to him, if not everyone else that this was not the way to go about it. But she was the Okashira, and he had to respect her wishes. As if that was all there was to it his mind retorted. Alright…she looked exceptionally beautiful when she pouted, her small coral lips turning into a frown. There was very little he had refused those ceruelean blue green eyes when she was a child…Now that she was a woman he had no idea how he would cope. When had he started feeling and thinking these things about her? Certainly he hadn't always felt this way.
At first she had simply served him tea and left him on his own. Then she started talking to him incessantly ruining any concentration he hoped to have through meditation. He had been thoroughly irritated with her one day and finally snapped, asking her to leave him alone so he could concentrate. He hadn't really meant to be quite as rude and harsh to her, but after that she'd stopped serving him tea. She stopped meeting him with umbrella's for the rain. She stopped coming and finding him whenever she had a problem with how the Aoiya was run and how he could help. She stopped pestering him at random. It had taken him a week to realize the shadow that was Misao was gone, and so he proactively sought her out.
It turned out that she was ill with fever, apparently had become ill the night that he had told her to leave. She was feverish one moment and burst into chills the next. She wasn't really coherent, but he remembered her apologizing to him over and over again. It broke his heart and he insisted to Okina that he would take over her care and nurse her better. Okina had silently approved, the old man still not recovered from his wounds and weak himself.
When she had recovered she was not only twice as persistent, but realized that they hadn't celebrated his homecoming yet. The second time around though he appreciated her a lot more…particularly her green tea…he couldn't brew it for the life of him. Anyways, She insisted that they hold a celebration of Aoshi's return. Misao, while good hearted, didn't think of the implications of a party. The Oniwabanshuu needed to grieve and still didn't trust him. But she had insisted upon it so firmly, and the other couldn't and wouldn't deny their young Okashira.
So here they sat, all of them miserable in their own way. It reminded him of the way he and Hannya and Beshimi and Hytotokko used to play tea party with Misao when she was a child. Like pulling teeth those times…Aoshi felt the smile slid across his face, but then he remembered their violent deaths, each of them falling valiantly at his feet, their blood, staining his clothes….He clenched his fists. His heart swiftly ached with emptiness. He needed to focus on the party, the here and the now, not get lost in his nightmares.
Misao had seen the emotion flicker in his eyes and she knew in that moment that this had been a mistake. None of them were ready to accept her Aoshi sama. They all sat, making idle chatter, all of it stretched and awkward as they sat twiddling their thumbs. Why hadn't anyone told her? Why hadn't any of them been honest with her? Because you made it an order and you're the Okashira…She felt the tears coming, but forced them down. She cleared her throat and got to her feet, her black kimono rustling as she rose.
She had wanted to be beautiful for the celebration and insisted upon getting dressed in his mother's old kimono. It was a festival kimono, black, but splattered with bright colors of red and green and blue and orange. The kimono depicted flowers and carts upon it. It made her look older, more mature. The tone of this party was anything but a celebration. It could have been mistaken for a funeral were it not the bright colors of everyone's dress. They had barely picked at the food she'd prepared. She'd spent the entire day in the kitchen making it for tonight. How had this gotten so out of hand?
"Minna…thank you for coming. This…this is awkward isn't it? I'm sorry….I'm sorry that I didn't have the foresight an Okashira should in planning these sort of things…I didn't mean to waste your time…" Her voice broke on the last word and she felt her lip tremble. They all stared at her…she couldn't face them. With a stifled sob she retreated out the shouji door.
"Misao!" Okon cried, and Omasu got up from their seats. Okina rose painfully to his feet with a grunt.
"Let her be" He told them, eyes looking meaningfully at Aoshi.
Kuro and Shiro gave him a dark glare as they rose. Okon and Omasu followed them out, each giving each other questioning glances.
Okina sighed. "Aoshi…"
"Aah." Aoshi replied, wondering what Okina would say to him. He expected something…the old man still hadn't addressed Aoshi's betrayal…none of them had actually.
"Will you go and talk to Misao?" Okina asked.
Aoshi was startled by his request. He had been expecting condemnation.
"Aah" He replied with a nod, and got up from the table walking out the shouji door.
Aoshi honed in on her ki and found her a ways off by the pond filled with coy, knees curled in her arms as she fed the fish. Aoshi approached her in full view so she wouldn't be startled.
"Have you come to scold me?" She said, not even looking at him as her tears fell. She was so sullen…so bitter. This wasn't the way she should be. Aoshi said nothing at first wondering if her question for rhetorical or not. Should he answer her? This was so unlike her…she was always smiling and cheerful and saccharinely sweet…Could he answer her? He was acutely aware of his sin and his unworthiness and became lost in the memories again. Their screaming cries.
"I made a fool of myself didn't I Aoshi sama?" Misao asked him, snapping Aoshi from his nightmares and returning his focus on Misao. Her mascara was running but her eyes were crystallized jade in that moment. Beautiful…he had never seen a lovelier woman crying. Wait…that wasn't right…
"Iie" He said simply.
"Ww-what?" Misao asked, startled by his response. Her eyes filled with hope and her ki soared.
"You did what you thought was best" His quiet voice answered her. The last time he'd spoken with her he'd been furious. He'd never apologized for it. He would make his reparations now.
"You are Okashira" He replied simply.
"Just because I'm Okashira, doesn't make me right" The bitterness returned in her voice and Aoshi stopped the frown that tried to break through the surface. This girl…she had been so little when he'd left…He realized in that moment that he'd left a child and come back to an adult…and he didn't know what to do with her.
"You made a choice. Part of being an Okashira is living with the choices we make" Aoshi told her, his heart constricting painfully as he thought of his comrades…their comrades he amended. He had hurt her too.
"But I didn't make the right choice" She said. "I made the right choice for me…but not for everyone else. But I just wanted everything to be the way it was. I wanted us all to be a family again. It's exactly like my childhood Aoshi sama…I'm not sure I can be the Okashira." She admitted, sullen again.
Aoshi looked at her, startled again by the myriad of emotions she displayed so freely to him.
"How so?" He asked simply.
"My childhood? Remember when I wanted to play tea party? I would hound you and Hanyya and Beshimi and Hytokko until you finally gave in. You all hated doing it…but you knew it made me happy so you did it anyways. " She began to laugh at this point.
"Hey! Remember when I convinced Hyotokko to wear the hat and the bib and everything?" She burst into laughter as she shared the story. "He looked so ridiculous!" She exclaimed. Her laughter lit up her entire face. Aoshi found it contagious and felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips.
"And- and Shikijyo came in" She said in gasps between laughter. "Hyotokko never heard the end of it…haha!" She exclaimed in peal of laughter. Aoshi remembered that day well and lost in the memory felt the smile break through his mask.
Misao's laughter had stopped as she stared in awe at Aoshi. He realized what he'd done.
"You know" Misao started with a smile. "You look like you used to when you smile Aoshi sama. Like the Aoshi sama I traveled the world looking for."
Shame hit him like a ton of bricks. He was a completely different person then when he'd left. Her eyes flashed as she watched him.
"Please don't blame yourself! Gah! This is why I can't be Okashira!" She exclaimed, angry now.
"Nani?" He asked, startled out of his melancholy demeanor.
"I can't do anything right Aoshi sama! I insist that you take the title from me so I don't mess this up anymore." Misao exclaimed.
Aoshi couldn't hide his thunderstruck glance at her. He thought carefully on her words, but knew his answer even as he formulated the words in his mind.
"Iie" He replied simply.
Misao eyed him skeptically.
"You are everything the Oniwabanshuu needs right now." He told her simply, as he watched the expressions dance across her face, from confusion, to pride at his compliment, to a light pink blush as she realized his words. Suddenly it occurred to him that she was lovely, even in the shade of pink. He dismissed the thought and continued.
"I was Okashira in times of war. You will be Okashira during times of peace." He told her.
"But I keep screwing everything up. An Okashira knows their people and responds to those needs. How can I be a leader when I act so stupidly?"
"That will come with time, maturity, and training." Aoshi replied. He had remembered his first bungle ups as Okashira…but back then it had cost them lives…if the only thing Misao had to face was a few grumbling Oniwaban then she was still doing far better than he had faired at her age.
"Aoshi sama you know them better than I ever will. You have this way of reading people and seeing beyond the circumstances. You look beyond people." Misao told him. Her eyes gazed at him seriously. How could she think so highly of him after what he'd done? Her faith in him amazed him. He pondered her statements mulling them over quickly and then replied.
"That's why you must be Okashira."
"What?" She asked confused.
"I overlook people. You will not. And you displayed a decent amount of leadership by canceling a decision you'd made for everyone else's benefit."
"But Aoshi sama when you were Okashira-"
"I made careless mistakes and followed them through to the bitter end. I didn't make people unhappy Misao…I costed time and resources and people's lives… I was too proud-" He bit off his sentence as he thought of the others….his friends… Their deaths were by his hands.
And suddenly he felt her in his arms, squeezing him out of the nightmares again, as her warm lithe body pressed against his. She smelled like cherry blossoms…
"Thank you, Aoshi sama…" She murmured, hugging him tight. Aoshi was startled by her ardent display of emotion, but found himself settling into the feeling her hug gave him.
"And Please…"She begged, tears in her eyes. "Please don't blame yourself for them. They wouldn't have wanted it…You know that don't you?" Crystallized jade met his eyes again, and he found himself lost within them.
"I'm not sure how to do that" He confessed, startling himself with his abruptness. Had he just said that aloud…to her? Shame and guilt reached out for him once more.
"Then let me help you" She said, cheeks flushed pink as she wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed her lips to trace his.
Aoshi's mind fizzled as he felt her lips connect with his. Suddenly his body was operating without his mind, wrapping his arms around her lithe waist and kissing her back with intensity leaving Aoshi's mind still processing.
He had just admitted weakness and frailty…to her! She had offered to help him…willingly…she wasn't mad at him about what had happened to his comrades…she had kissed him! Good gods…she WAS kissing him! He was kissing HER! They were STILL kissing. Suddenly Aoshi realized the inappropriate ness of it and released her regretfully from his arms.
Green emeralds met his gaze as he looked upon her. Her cheeks were stained a light pink.
"Misao I-"
She placed a finger upon his lips and reached for his hand. She kissed it, interweaving it with hers.
" I don't want your apology Aoshi sama and I don't need one. I followed you half way across Japan Baka. Did you think I'd let you slip into your own darkness too? Where you go, I'm following you Aoshi sama. I wont let it take you…atleast not without a fight!" She said jade eyes alight with passion.
Her words touched him deeply. She was so passionate…about everything. The ex Okashira found himself the student when it came to passion. When had she grown up and how had he missed it?
"Misao…"
"I have a proposition for you Aoshi sama. I need help being an Okashira, and you need to be pulled out of your dark memories. So if you'll help me and teach me, then I'll teach you how to be happy"
Aoshi stared at her, so serious in her kimono about teaching him happiness and started to laugh. He felt laughter course it way through him, and she became indignant, which only made him laugh further. It felt so good to laugh again, as he had with Hannya, Beshimi, Hytokko, and Shikijyo.
"KEICHIRO KICK!" She cried, irritated that he was laughing at her, but forgot she was wearing a kimono and ended up tumbling into his arms. He caught her and the both fell into the pond, and still Aoshi laughed, but at this point, Misao had caught his infectious laughter and had begun laughing as well. Their laughter echoed into the forest, and made Okina, who had briefly been spying on the two smile as well.