Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Weiss Kreuz. Please don't sue, because... No, no, I have no money...*waves hands to indicate that money is not had.*
AN: Happy Birthday to Unspoiled Rini! For those who don't know, she is one of my Soul Sisters. We're not related by blood, but family is more than blood anyway. I wanted to write this for her to hopefully make her smile on this very special day. Luna-Nee, I'm thankful every single day for having someone who understands me the way that you do. I love you, and I hope you NEVER forget that. I'm sorry this isn't the best. The idea sort of just popped into my head, and I tried to rush to get it done so I could surprise you on your birthday. If you'd like to request another story, I'll do it for you too. Hopefully you enjoy this. It's not the lost GW/SM fic I got Scott McNeil to sign for you, but it's hopefully good in it's own right. *Massive birthday huggles*
xXxXx
Crawford shook his head. He had just received their latest orders from Esset. He had a bad feeling about it...there were many, many ways this could backfire spectacularly-Honestly! He knew they had other precogs at Esset. Was he really the only one who thougt putting a girl who eventually took on an angel-like form in a relatively small space with Farfarello was a bad ides?-, but orders were orders. He left his office after printing off the file they needed and headed to the livingroom to pretend this wasn't a disaster waiting to happen.
He was not surprised to find Schuldig watching cartoons...South Park, if memory served him, and eating a pint of Hagen Das. Nagi was seated in a chair typing, as always, on his laptop...hands free, naturally. Farfarello was sitting on the floor cleaning his knives. He saw a few new cuts on the Irishman's hands, and made a mental note to get them cleaned before leaving. He stood there for a moment, and was resolutely ignored. This was going well already...
Clearing his throat meaningfully, he strode forth, and shut off the TV. In the same motion, he snapped Nagi's laptop closed, and nudged Farfarello with his foot, ignoring protests from all three. Now that he had their attention. "Sailor Moon-"
"Oh, does Braddikins have a thing for schoolgirls in short skirts now?" The infuriating German ate some more of his ice cream. "I mean, we are in Japan, so she might go for a much older American guy, but I've heard rumors that she and that masked guy are a thing."
Cue Crawford Glare Level 4.5. "Esset thinks she would be useful for their upcoming plans. We are supposed to...recruit...her, by nearly any means necessary." He had to add 'nearly' because otherwise Farfarello tended to consider massive blood loss 'reasonable force'. "They have tracked down her true identity. Tsukino Usagi, age twenty-one. Currently residing with boyfriend Chiba Mamoru." Blah, blah. "We're to convince her to join Schwarz, and-failing that-force her to join."
"Twenty-one, huh?" Schuldig was leafing through the file, and-Crawford noticed-had stopped on a picture of her in her Sailor Moon costume. He didn't have to be the resident telepath to know where said telepath's thoughts were wandering. "On second thought, maybe she's prefer a slightly older German...she doesn't look like the sort that would go for a much older American."
"Master Mind, stay focused!" The American snapped. He pinched the bridge of his nose, attempting to stave off the near-constant headache this group gave him. He also hadn't cared forthe way Schuldig had stressed 'much older', for some reason.
"Dirty thoughts hurt God..." Farfarello snickered. His attention was back on his knives, but he was clearly still paying attention. Well, as much as he ever did.
"Then between Schu and Balinese, he must writhe in near-constant agony..." Nagi replied with a smirk.
"Not helping, Prodigy." He released a slow sigh before shooting them each with a Crawford Glare Level 6.5. "I've foreseen that our best time to strike is tonight. She will be home alone, and unprepared. Everyone get ready, we leave in an hour." With that, he turned and strode from the room. That gave him an hour for his Excedrin to kick in before he had to face the others again...
xXx
"So, what's the plan, oh great and fearless leader?" Schuldig asked as they entered the apartment building. "Surely it's not just to stroll up and ring her doorbell..."
"Actually, that's it exactly." Crawford replied. "We need this to go as smoothly as possible, and I figured the civilized approach would be better than breaking and entering."
"Swanky..." Farfarello said as he looked around, visions of the mayhem he could cause here dancing within his twisted little head.
"Prodigy..." Crawford began.
"I know, I know...keep Berserker from going...berserk." Nagi sounded bored.
The four of them only drew a little attention as they crossed the lobby to the elevator, and hit the button for the 30th floor.. Schuldig whistled appreciatively. "Man, either her or the boyfriend must be loaded...everyone knows the higher the floor, the more money the resident has..."
Crawford refrained from pondering what it meant that they lived on the third floor...in an area far less nice than this one.
They arrived at the apartment listed in the file, and rang the doorbell. There was what sounded like some scuffling on the other side, perhaps a few things being knocked down in haste, and a cheerful female voice calling "Just a moment! I'm coming!"
When the door opened, a lovely blonde woman stood staring curiously up at them. It was obvious they were not who she was expecting, if indeed she had been expecting anyone at all. "Can I...help you?"
Crawford realized he'd neglected to think of what to say once he was face to face with her. He blamed the others. They tended to mess with his train of thought. "Tsukino-san, we are from Esset. We would like a word with you." He shot Schuldig a quick look, speaking to him though the mental link the team shared. 'Be useful for once, Master Mind. Compel her to let us in.'
Schuldig looked at her, and smirked. 'She's not as dumb as she looks...'
'Master Mind!' Crawford realized she was speaking, and focused on what she was saying.
"I'm sorry...I'm not familiar with that religion, but I'm really not interested in changing at the moment..." She looked genuinely apologetic.
'She thinks we might be Christians, since we're mostly forigners.' Schuldig informed the others, amuses. 'Baptist, maybe. There are a lot of branches of that...'
Farfarello snapped to attention at the mention of religion, and Nagi clamped down to keep him from doing anything too...Farfarello-ish. He had to telekinetically gag the Irishman at the mention of Christians and Baptists.
"We're not from a religion...it's a...company." Crawford corrected. trying to ignor the peanut gallery he shared a mental link with. "If we could come in, I'd be happy to explain further..."
The woman, Usagi, looked a bit puzzled, but stepped back to let them in. Schuldig grinned. 'The only reason she's letting us in is because the nosy neighbor across the hall is staring. For some reason I can't compel her like I usually can. I can read her thoughts, but I can't influence them.'
'Maybe that's why Esset wants her?' Nagi ventured a guess as he followed the others inside.
"Tea? Cookies?" Usagi offered, her blonde odangos bobbing as she tried to be a good hostess, even if the four strangers confused her just a bit.
Crawford had a quick vision ending in a trip to the ER if they accepted. "No, thank you, Tsukino-san..."
"So...if I may ask, who are you? And how do you know my name?" Her tone was cheerful and light, but Crawford recognized that, as Schuldig had said, she wasn't as dumb as she acted. This was a clever ploy on her part, and he was sure it was one that worked on her enemies more often than not. Perhaps on her friends, too...
"I am Crawford. This is Schuldig, Farfarello, and Nagi. We are Schwarz, a subgroup of Esset...an organization for people with...special abilities."
"I'm a telepath, Brad is a precog, Nagikins can float stuff, and Farf...well, he's insane, and that's special, right?" Schuldig grinned, nodding at each as he mentioned them, and ignoring the glares from Crawford and Nagi.
"Farfarello doesn't feel pain." Crawford corrected. "And he's skilled at astral projection." He shook his head before pressing on. "We were sent to invite you to join Esset because of the unique skills you posses as Sailor Moon."
Usagi took a step back. "I don't know what you're talking about..." She was almost convincing, but since they knew better. almost wasn't good enough.
Schuldig smirked once more. "Telepath, remember? Precog? No point in playing dumb, little Bunny, we all know you're not."
Usagi crossed her arms. "Why should I join your group? I'm already the Champion of Love and Justice, along with the other Sailor Scouts." And Tuxedo Mask, but she didn't need to mention him... "I'd be happy to work together for the forces of good, if you'd like..."
Nagi snorted none-too-gracefully. "Do we look like the forces of good?" He motioned to the four of them. "Seriously?"
'Not helping, Prodigy...' Crawford warned.
'I've got an idea...' Schuldig informed the team, and then gave her his most charming smile. Balinese wasn't the only heartbreaker in town, after all...
"Bunny, what do you say we discuss this over dinner? Just the two of us..." Cue flirty raised eyebrow.
'How is that supposed to convince her to joing Esset?' Crawfored nearly slapped his forehead. Or Schuldig. Yeah, probably Schuldig.
'Screw Esset, I'm trying to get a date. She's cute.'
Make that definitely Schuldig. And change 'slap' to 'shoot'. In the foot.
Usagi's eyebrow rose in turn. "Sorry, I have a boyfriend..."
"He's cheating on you." The German replied without hesitation. "With your friend."
"Mamoru wouldn't do that!" She protested instantlat. And then after a hesitant pause. "...Which friend?"
"The shorter list would really be which ones isn't he cheating with..." Schuldig replied, sounding just a bit regretful. Not much though. She opened her mouth to say something, nad he cut her off. "Telepath. Precog. We know these things."
Usagi looked quite offended. "I think you'd better leave..." Her hand was reaching for her broach to transform, her blue eyes clearly stating that she was ready to dish out a moon themed butt kicking if they didn't get lost, and fast.
'Let's go. Master Mind ruined this little attempt. Let's just come back when she's sleeping and snatch her.' Crawford felt suddenly tired, though he hid it well.
'Why didn't we just do that to begin with?' Farfarello wondered, but was ignored.
"Here is my card if you change your mind, Tsukino-san..." The Precog held out a card to her. It simply had a phone number, nothing more.
"You can also reach me at that number, if you decide to ditch the cheater." Schuldig added with a wink as they turned to leave. He acted as if he might linger and say something more, but Crawford shot Nagi a look, and the telekinetic dragged him along behind them by force. "Bye, bye, Bunny..." He called over his shoulder.
Usagi hurried to slam and lock the door behind them, and then looked down at the card in her hand. "What the...?"
xXx
By the time they returned to their apartment, Crawford had received new orders. Apparently, Esset had decided it didn't want Sailor Moon after all, and canceled it's earlier demand to bring her in. He wasn't sure if he was more annoyed that he'd wasted an evening on a fruitless effort, or relieved that the fiasco wouldn't be repeated anytime soon. He didn't feel like facing the others, so he called down the hall that the mission was no more, and locked himself in his room with a good book. He had earned a little quality time with Anne Rice's newest, after all...
A week later, the phone rang, and Crawford knew who it was. He raised an eyebrow as he yelled down the hall. "Schuldig, it's for you!" He wondered what made the blonde decide to call. Was she really into Germans after all? Or was her boyfriend really cheating on her? He shrugged. It didn't really matter, did it?
The End
AN: So that's that. I hope you enjoyed it, Luna-Nee, and I hope anyone else who reads it enjoys it too. It was sillier than I'd planned, but hopefully it's still good. Please read and review.