Hey guys its me, funnybunny16 again with the story you are going to read! I'm sorry it took a while, but I was very busy...but this whole time I was anticipated about writing this fic. This is my first story for 2016, so it is very special indeed. Haven't written story like this so this should prove to be interesting. Oh, and I think Nute Gunray from clone wars is a sexy beast. RAWR! Hope you guys enjoy!
THE JEDI AND THE GALACTIC SPACE ADVENTURE
Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Mace Windu are on spaceship; heading to desolate yet wealthy foggy place run by a race called Neimoidians on the planet of Cato-Neimoidia. The four Jedi knights are heading there to meet Viceroy Nute Gunray and his collegues, Rune Haako, Daultay Dofine, Tey How, and others to sign treaty and see if they can come up with some sort of agreement for them to all agree on. Chewbacca's father, Mikabacca was originally going to come but his father dead, poop matting up in fur around his anus, blocking his poor rectum and causing his to die from massive poop overload. He may now rest in peace in Kashyyyk heaven.
They are coming near massive planet of Cato-Neimoidia, blue and white as a bunch of sea foam covered in fog. Yoda's eyes raise in intiguiment and looks at Anakin who is piloting the ship with furious look on face.
"Anamin," say Yoda. "You good pilot, I see. Don't kill any pylat bird though." He laughed. "Yes, good pilot are you, hair ugly but eyes golder than C3PO, you determination you have unlike Neimoidians." Anakin is angry that her have to deal with Neimoidians. They already barge in to room wehile he and Padme are making passionate Jedi fuck in temple because they don't pay taxes early enough...so why should he be nice to them? They be very cheap and cowards.
Anakin lands their ship on the Eastern Arch into the spaceship airship dock, where they step out and are greeted by nute gunray, who very tall, had green skin and strange eyes that had odd pupils and have big headdress that remind Mace Windu of when he was a little boy when his mom loved him. Nute Gunray is there with a smile spread and is there with his gay colleuge, Rune Haako. Rune has been very sick lately. He be pregnant with Nute's baby. He have very bad morning sickness.
"Hulello there Jedi," say Nute. "Welcum to Cato-Neimoidia, home of big boobed voluptuous neimoidian babes and home to more hemorrhoid clinics than any other planet." Anakin mad when he hear that they could have Mikabacca's life here, but he must forget past and continue on. He sniff like dyke and follows the viceroy and his colleague Rune with the rest of the Jedi.
"Nut Gunray," starts Mace Windu as they head toward big senator building where the delicoussmells of fungi and mold waits them. "We are informed that you feel Naboo be taxing neemodorhoidians on Cato-Neimoidian too much money. Prinzess Amyidala inform us so we were wondering if this is true."
Nute nods his head. "Yes i feel that way. Since that dumb bitch Amidala be taving Cato-Neimoidia til we drop dead on floor, I feel that we must all have meeting to discuss all this."
Anakin mad again. What a whiny whore bitch. "Princess Amidsla my wife! Why do you talk about her that way?"
"Because your wife greedy money whore," said Rune, who was very clever in responding to people. How else do you think he got to being a lietenanut senate officer? "We will discuss this all a the meeting so if you have any questions of concerns just shut the hell up now and we will talk about them while we eat." Rune very crabby from baby kicking his uterus-prostate.
…
The Jedi marveled at the amazing neimoidian architecture. The Neimoidian city on Cato-Neimoidia was suspended on five massive bridges that were at the very least 8000 feet off the ground, the ground itself covered it thickly dense forest covered in thick fog. speculatory it was probably more like 14,000 feet but who the fuck was counting? Neimoidian archtecutre was beautiful, and old. Neimoidian outfits were gorgeous.
"This way Jedi!' cried out Nute, pointing to a massive buiding that was beautifully decorated with alkaloid beetle and beer bottle for more effect. Homeless old human man was there on front steps his beard was dirty and log, down to his chest. His eyes were cross-eyes and he was shitting his pants and farting louder than the voice of God. Everybody ignored him and contnued into the beautiful building that was the Senate building. It was secluded and private.
The two insectisoid men lead the Jedi to a large room that was lightly colored and made of marble. The jedi sat down and Nute and Rune bowed before them. "We'll be backs soon with the others, Delicous food will be brought out. Wait here." Nute and Rune then left, Rune belching up aicid burps on the way out.
The jedi sit down at a table. They decide to sit on the side where there are cushions on the floor while the other sides of the table has benches, most liekly resevred for the Neimooidian senators. Mace Windu lookes around the wondefully decorated room in suspicion.
"YODA," says Mace. "There is something suspicious about all this. i mean look how friendly Nute was too us; we need to look around the room to see iof there may be bomb."
Yoda grabas his man boob in anguish. "Nonsense you speak, oh dumbass. I do not sense time bomb in room." Jedi dismiss the thing about the bomb and see the doors open to reveal little bunny droids carrying out the Neimoidian feast that was coming toward them. The droids put the platters on the table. Flies vommiting parahenelia all over mold and spores, bowls of maggots eating freshly cut toenails of a Duros, and mushrooms spewing liquid acidic Volcanic flaming marninara sauce all over the table were the prefered foods on the Neimoidian race. Mace Windu choked and wished for a bowl of fried chicken. Yoda just coughed a bit and Anakin turned pale. Obi wan Kenobi inhaled the scent of the food and his nose shriveled off and fell to the ground, limp as a old man dick.
"Holy fuck Yoda," said Obi. "There is no way in hell I'm eating these bowls of shit."
Yods looked weary. "Just be polite, oh ginger-bearded one. Just put a little on your plate and pretend to eat it."
Before Obi Wan could object the Neimoidian senate came in. In came in Nute Gunray, Rune Haako followed by Rute Gunnay, Lott Dod, Mar Tuuk, cousins Daultay and Lushros Dofine, Sib Canay, and the two femme Neimoidians Tey How and Mik Regrap. They were followed by a fatass pork Neimoidian Lok Durd. Mace Windu almost vommited when he saw the fatass.
The Neimoidian senators sat down at the table and looked at the other Jedi.
Nute Gunray is not happy to see the bowl of maggots writhing around in jar jar binks feces. You see, when Nute was a little boy he was brutally ass-raped by a tentacle monster plant on Serenno. The act traumatized the poor lad ever since but at least the people spectating got a creamy treat after the act was over so everybody was happy.
"Lok Durd!?" questioned Anakin. "What are you doing here?"
Lok Durd got mad and burped a chicken. Nute got angry. "Sit down, Lok! We must have an important meeting and I'm hunfry as all fuck!" Lok Durd nods and sits down nextto Nut, sneding the bench to tilt upwards to the right, making Tey How fly up into the air and into the lap of Lok Durd, wh wrapped his arms around the skinny Neimoidian babe.
"LOK!" cried Tey How. "Let go of me! This is BEYOND perverse!"
"Don't worry my bellesweet," said Lok the fatass. "I have bonner problems, so I won't penetrate you through the robes." Tey How grumbled and continued to sit in his lap. The other Neimoidans were tipped sideways, making loading their plates with the disgusting shit difficult.
"So jedi lords," began Rune, eating maggots with chopsticks. "I guess we are here to discuss why Naboo queen Amadalya is taxing us poor neimoidians to a stumphole. Explain yourselves. Why is she doing this to us?"
Anakin started fuming. Smoke pouring out of his ears. "Because you guys are wealthy. We want to tax the wealthy more and the poorer should have to pay less."
Rute took a swig of beetle wine. "I find that to be shite. You remind me of the political party of democrats on a planet called Earth. Why would you do something that stupid? Also why are you ll budhist? Buddhist is not a peaceful religeion you fuckwads." He drank a little more wine.
Rune listening to all this with anguish. It reminds him of when he was a boy barging into his parents room seeing his mom riding his fathers dick like it was the last dick she would fuck. It was very traumatic but also very arousing. Since then Rune became gay...which led him to the Trade Federation.
"You must be pateint with us, insect people ones," said Yoda. "We are also here to discuss you must pay taxes more than other planets since it is rumored that Cato-Neimoidia has problems with global warming."
Mik Regrap huffed. "In our prophecy it is rumored that one Neimoidian can only cause global warming on Caito-Neomidia. So that means that there is one Neimoidian on this planet who is doing all this!'
"And that would be…"
"I don't know!" she exclaimed. "It could be anybody. Heck, the person could be right here in this room! It's scary but we shouldn't be taxed for it."
Yoda nodded his head. Obi Wan was vommiting out maggots and shit on the nice floor. Nobody was paying attention. "Well…" began Yoda. "According to Jedi rules, we cannot stop charging a planet of global warming until the global warming is gone! We can help you out. We can sojourn to the desert planet of Tatooine and bring back the machine that will eliminate global warming from yo planet?!"
"But…" Daultay Dofine began. "How are you going to get this machine? Who…who sells something like that on the planet of Tatooine?"
Yoda grinning. "Watto doesnt jsut sell slaves but he also sells powerful machine. I'm sure I can get a used one from his for about $10."
Rune and Nute clapped their hands. "oh thank you wise and powerful smelly jedi master! You are helping us out a great deal! When will you get the machine for us?" Lok Durd starts vomiting and coughing. Nute looks ar him in disgust. "Now don't eat too much the food Lok of it's really going to upset your stomach."
"We will go right now…" drawled the Yoda. "C'mon other Jedi douches we must go get that anti-global warming machine."
The Jedi group run out with a dying Obi Wan on their trail huffing from lack of air from the disgusting Neimoidian meal. He convulses and spazzes and shits boogers as he heads into the spacecraft, making room for padawan Anakin. Anakin step on gas pedal and blasts them into space at the speed of light, throwing a green space dog against the windshield, splattering its body, organs, blood and bones all over it.
"Dangg," say Anykin. 'Fuck this dog." He turns on winshield wiper scrapiing the dogs body into a nearby trash can. Yoda todd the trash can out a nearby window as proper disposal of the dog body.
They see Tatooine just ahead, bragging its magnificent sandy sands in crystal view of galaxy. Anakin threw his body against the control board, sending them into ultra-galactic hyperdrive to the planet, their spaceship going 50,689 miles per second. They seen landing on planet near the place of Watto's trade, spewing sand and dirt all over the place.
The Jedi get out of the ship and then soon come across the junk shop of Watto, who grow big hairy beard like dirty Jew and has a wierd insect body...but not like the elegant Neimoidians. They're hot and have muscles. Watto also have meth mouth and severe obesity so he's on the brink of death if he cannot sell his stuff to pay medical bills.
Anakin gets ahead of the others and approaches the junk shop of Watto.
"What the fuck do you want?" asked Watto yiddish accent. "I let you go when mere baby and your mother isn't here anymore so what do you even want from me now?"
"Watto…" drawled Anakin, placing his arms around smelly insect man. "We need the Anti-Global warming machine to save Neimoidia from their catastrophic global warming mess!" Anakin glances over at Obi Wan who is quivering, a little bit of blood coming out the poopshute or his trainor. "Could you also help us out a little bit, too? Obi needs Tatooine-rape ointment."
Watto contemplates this for a second before pulling out a machine almost as big as Anakin's body. The Anti-Global Warming Machine! My god! This was the thing that could save Cato-Neimoidia from perverse destruction! Yoda gets really excited and pees himself a little bit grabbing his left buttcheek in anticipation softening his anal chasm.
"Get it, we will," say Jedi master Yodi. "Watto you are great help to us. I will thank you some other time." He gives Watto a $10 bill for the jew insect to blow on pickles and pretzels which he is very excited for. He stares at the Tatoo-weeies (Tatooine children), and grins. He's going to take them all out for a party now! \
The Jedi carry the machine back to the ship and blast off into hyperspace. Mace Windu has a very worried look on his chisesled masculine face.
"What seem to be the problem?" ask Yoda inquisitively.
"Master Yoda!" Mace cry out. "I have bad feeling that Cato-Neimoidia already in peril!"
"Don't fret my youngling," say Yoda. "Everything will be fine, I'm sure."
Anakin knows Mace is right! Up ahead he sees the Cato-Neimoidia planet, in which he heads toweard slowly, and things aren't looking too good. They fly through Cato-Neimoidia's atmosphere, and come across a devastating sight!
The bridges supporting the cities are crumbling, the sky has turned a neon-purple orange, and is raining dead pylat birds and feces, lighting the size of the Jedi ship strike the Earth, killing innocent trees! Tornadoes the size of Earth are are whirling around Cato-Neimoidia's grounds, shooting flaming acidic fungi-infested meteorites at the cities! Volcanoes are shooting hot magma that is 1,000,000 degrees fahreinhigh straight up in the air and landing all over. A dark purple void opens up in the sky and starts spewing green much all over the towns, covering them in feces.
"My god!" cried Mace. "I was right along! Let's go fellow Jedi! Let's go save Cato-neimoidia!"
The Jedi jump out of their ship onto one of the bridges and head toward the Senator building. They run past crumbling buildings and statues falling on ground. Neimoidian ladys tits are being ripped off by the force of small black holes that occasionally appear.
"No!" screamed a young Neimoidian woman. "My wonderful fleshy orbs of femininity!" She fall down dead with the other now-not-so-big-boobed femmes. This is indeed a very tragic day for the wealthy planet of Cato-Neimoidia.
They are almost at the Senatoe building when they hear the sounds of a thousand bolts of lightning hits the Earth, starlting the Jedi out of their sub conscious dream statres! It sounds awful, like wretching across the sky! The Jedi look at eachother. "What the fuck was that?" asked Obi-Wan, maggots and moldy mushrooms spewing out of his mouth along with caterpillar chrysalis'.
The Jedi sniffed the air and covered their noses. "My gowd!" say Anakin. "It smell like rotting ass!"
The smell is coming from the Senator Building! Oh no! The four jedi run toward the massive landmark and throw open the doors, where, in the middle of the large elaborate room, standing the fatass pork Neimoidian, Lok Durd. The room is as hot as an oven, and smells like 20 dogs shitting at once into somebodys nostrils.
"Lok!" cried Yoda. "I should have known it was you who was calming this intense global warming on Cato-Neimoidia! You are infecting the city with bad smell!"
Lok Durd get angry. "I am NOT causing the global warming you Jedi fuckers!" Then, Lok Durd's face contorts a bit, and releases a fart the size of Metropolis, the back of his robe flying up exposing his humongous, voluptuous ass. After the flatulence subsides another flaming tornado forms outside.
"Alright…" Lok Durd said. "Maybe I am causing the global warming…but not on purpose! Why would I do that to my own planet! You gotta help me Jedi knights…or else Cato-neimoidia will be destroyed, and I'll self-combust from internal gas!"
The Jedi knights feel bad for Lok…they know he's not doeing this on purpose. The four huddle together and start to come up with a plan. They cannot use the global arming machine until the global warming has subsided! They must come up with a way for Lok Durd to stop passing gas out his ass! They nod when they have come up with their fantastic idea.
"Alright, Lok…" Yoda drawled. "Lok, you'll have to co-operate. We have found a solution to get rid of aweful gas which wil help subside the global warming. Mace will have to take you up the ass with his foot-long cock to make sure your farts come out as burps, Anakin wil suck your dick releasing your orgasm juices and subsiding the volcanoes, and Obi-Wan will kiss you to arouse you and release your heavenly fluids, is that okay?"
"Okay," said Lok. Lok was horny anyway, and he loved polyester and beign-clad men.
The three Jedi approach him and get to doing their duty. Yoda pulls out a camcorder and starts to videotape as evidence.
Lok Durd taked off all his robes, leavin him in just his headdress. He was even fatter than the Jedi realized…but it just made them even hornier! Yumm!
Mace got behind Lok and slid off his robes, revealing his massive black dong. He parted the bigg bubble buttcheeks of the Neimoidian general and licked hia lips with unison before plunging into the hot caverns that was Lok's ass. Lok moaned as he felt the black Jedi thristing into him. He was even better than Nute! Mace felt his cock grow two inches longer, touching the Neimodian's prostate. His eyes rolled and buckled up for the ride.
Anakin went to Lok's crotch and tried looking around for the Neimoidian's cock and balls, which he had a very hard time finding since the Neimodian man was so fatass, but he ended uo finding Lok's eight-incher and slid his delicious petit man mouth over the alien's dick, sucking it like it was a lollipop givent o him by Padme. Lok groaned even louder and Anakin sucked even harder.
Obi Wan went to Lok Durd and planted his dry lips over the Neimoidian's very moist ones. He savored it, but then again starting vomiting insects and chrysalis' into Lok's throat, coughing and kissing as he went. Lok savored this and knew it would ll come back up, but he didn't care. He just wanted to keep kissing the Jedi and hope Obi would be willing to take back his own puke.
The three Jedi were both in ecstacy and disgust with their task. Mace was savoring the lovely butt of the male Neimoidian, loving how it clenched around his dick like hot biscuits in an oven with butter on them. Anakin was repulsed at sucking a big cock that had the terxture of worm. Lok Durd loved Anakin's mouth. It was softer than the dry mouths of the Neiomoidian sluts that hated fucking him.
Obi Want of course, was still vomiting in Lok's mouth.
"Yeah, Lok!" cried Mace. "I'm gonna ride you like Padme rides Anakin!"
"Shut the fuck up you bastard!" said Anakin, his voice muffled. He's getting angry like the whiny bitch he is again, smashing his fists into Neimoidian's balls, much to Lok's delight. Mace's long balls swing back and forth with every thrust into tight ass. Yoda is jerking off, his old hairy wrinkled dick is full of vigor, but is, sadly, only seven inches long. No Jeid or mortal would ever want to fuck that ugly old green bastard worth a nickel.
Mace feels his balls churning with purple plasma jedi cum that is ready to be shot. Hegives a thrust and shoots the splunk right into the Neimoidian, his asshole overflowing and splashing onto their thighs and the floor. Anakin gjves a final suck, Lok cried out and spews a creamy load into the Jedi's mouth, coming out by the gallons, shooting out of the padawan's mouth in multaiple streams, covering Lok's stomach and balls in cum.
Obi Wan then stops kissing the Neimoidian. Lok Durd hiccups and projectile-burps and gags Obi's vomit back onto the poor Jedi. Obi Wan is now covered in his own vomit! Obi Wan's eyes roll back as he gives one last vomit spurt and falls to the floor now dead. He twitches…and that is the last of Obi Wan.
Lok coughs and spurts diarrhea all over the senate walls, the last of his gas subsiding. Cato-Neimoidia is now saved! As Yoda cums his old load all over the floor he picks up the giant machine and flips on a green button, which is sucking all the evil global warming energies into the machine. When it's done, Yoda turns off the machine and sighs with happiness.
The Neimodians are very happy that the jedi saved their planet. They give them old spores to eat on rhe way back home and wave as they depart to their ship. Lok mis most gracious of all. Anakin is very sad, though. He misses his master, the one who was teaching him the right from wrong, good from evil. He sighs…and knows that Obi is in a much better place now. His body is being burned in sake of all the brave stuff he has dfone, but Anakin still feels thwe dark enetgy inside him become stronger…
Anakin is gonna turn into Darth Vader!
And they all lived happily ever after!
THE END
So guys I hope you liked the story! This one took me a LONG time to write because of computer problems but I'm not having them anymore! My AVP fic will be up in March when its taken off my old compiter so look forward to that! I haven't written too many Star Wars fics for some reason. I should do it more often…but that wont be until a little while. Also, this is my 15th story! Woohoo!
Until then, tah-tah for now!