Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, everything else is S.M.

AN: thanks to bluebaby for betaing this one-shot.

Dream a little dream

"...For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing.

I could see Charlie and Ren e mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push.

I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him.

For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them..."Eclipse, chapter 23

Her eyes opened and they tried to adjust to the soft light entering from the window. She searched for his warm dark hands, but as soon as she turned she was met with pale delicate hands. She blinked and confusion settled in. "Edward?" She whispered.

He opened his golden eyes, and smiled at her. "Good morning my love. How did you sleep?"

Bella felt uneasiness crept into her. The last thing she remembered was her asking Jacob to kiss her; she recalled the feeling that had crept into her heart when she saw the future that she could have with him. And then nothing else. "What are you doing here?"

He seemed surprised by her question. "I'm here like usual, you want me here when you wake up."

She stood up and ran to check the calendar. It was impossible! It showed that it was two weeks earlier than the date of the fight. Had she dreamed everything? But how could that kiss been just a figment of her imagination? She turned to look at Edward, he was watching her carefully. "Is everything all right love?"

Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. What exactly had happened? She took a deep breath and decided that until she found out what happened she would try to act normally. A smile was forced on her mouth. "I'm okay; sorry I was just a bit confused. I had a dream and I just... imagined things."

He chuckled. "Leave it to you to get messed up over a dream."

Her smiled felt a little less forced then. "Yeah... you know me. My mind is weird by any standard." She passed a hand through her hair. She checked in her heart and she was startled to realize that she loved Edward the same as before but now there was a space belonging to Jacob. She was in love with him too!

Dizziness caught her unprepared and when she opened her eyes she was in Edward arms. "Love, you fainted, what's wrong?"

"I guess I need some food." She whispered hoping that he would believe her. It was strange being in his cold arms when the last thing she remembered was the feeling of Jacob's encompassing heat.

He smiled crookedly at her. "Just lay down, I'll go and get you something."

Bella was left in her room, alone with her thoughts and the new feelings that the dream had raised. She wanted to see Jacob, but at the same time she was scared. How would she react to him now that she knew that she was in love with him too? And then it hit her, she hadn't agreed to marry Edward yet!

It had happened the night before the battle, so she was still not engaged. A width of possibilities opened up to her. She checked her heart, she had been sure that she wanted to be with Edward for eternity, but could she deny right now that she owed herself, Jacob and Edward the truth? How could she give Jacob up now that she knew how she felt?

Had Jacob been right in suggesting that if Edward hadn't come back she would have fallen for him? Hadn't it happened already?

She sighed and closed her eyes. But it was the wrong move because images of Jacob's scorching mouth on hers reverberated in her mind and her eyes opened quickly. This was serious; when she had agreed to get married she hadn't known about Jacob. Now she couldn't in all honesty behave like the kiss hadn't happened, technically it hadn't but it had felt so real that she couldn't avoid the ramifications.

The phone rang downstairs and Bella slowly went to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Good morning Bells!" Jacob's voice reached her and it was strange how butterflies flew in her stomach.

"Good morning Jake." She whispered back, not sure what to say or how.

"So... I thought that with it being sunny outside we could spend the day together." He suggested happily.

She closed her eyes again seeing their kiss, the intensity, heat, little kids with his smile. "Bells? Are you there?"

"Oh... yes... sorry got sidetracked. Errr... I don't know Jake..." She said not sure if she could face him, what if he saw in her eyes her change of heart? She could never hide anything from him, he knew her too well.

"Come on Bells, don't be a spoil sport. Just a day with your favorite man on this planet." He whined.

"How do you know that you're my favorite man?" She joked back but part of her wanted to hear his answer.

"Please... like you could like anyone else more than you like me... eventually you'll have to admit that you love me my dear Bells." He said.

She took a deep breath because now she knew that he was right; there wasn't anything to counter his words. "Okay... I'll spend the day with you."

Silence on the line told her that she had surprised him. "Really?"

She laughed. "Really. Edward has gone to get me breakfast, let's meet in an hour at the treaty line."

"Sure sure. See you later...my Bells." He whispered.

She felt goose bumps all over her body. The way he had said that she was his had something sparkle in her heart. She was in trouble, deep, deep trouble.

Edward was back five minutes later. "I hope you like croissants and coffee."

She smiled at him; loving Edward was as natural as loving Jacob. "Yes, thanks." She started eating with Edward sitting in front of her watching.

"What are we going to do today love?" He asked lovingly.

"I... I actually agreed to spend the day with Jacob." She stuttered and she saw his demeanor change. He looked so hurt. "I'm sorry Edward, it's sunny outside and I thought that we couldn't really do much..."

He sighed. "It's okay I guess, we have the rest of your life to be together."

"Yes, we do." But something had changed for her. Could she really be with Edward? Didn't he deserve a mate that loved only him?

When she finished eating they got into his Volvo and drove to the treaty line.

Edward parked and frowned. Bella looked up and saw Jacob, bare-chested with his arms crossed. His muscles were huge and looked like they were made of steel. Her heart fluttered and Edward asked, "Why are you tense love? I can hear your heart rate picking up."

She frantically thought about an excuse good enough to pacify him. "Nothing, I was just startled. I hadn't realized that I already have to leave you. "

He took her hand and kissed it softly. "I'll pick you up tonight."

She smiled at him. "Don't worry about it, Jacob will take me home."

He frowned but nodded.

She got out of the car and slowly walked towards Jacob, her heart was still beating wildly in her ribcage. Images of his hands in her hairs, around her waist pushing her closer were swarming her mind, she couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. She reached him and he pulled her into his chest.

"Hey beautiful." He whispered gruffly in her ear.

She closed her eyes and put her arms around his waist. "Hey wolfie." She was basking in his heat, his scent burning a trail in her mind, how had she never noticed all this before?

When she heard a car accelerating she moved away just in time to see the taillights of Edward's car. Uh-oh, maybe she had exaggerated with the hugging.

Jacob chuckled and she looked up realizing that she was still holding him. She blushed and took a step away but not before noticing that his eyes had a darker hue. "Don't worry Bells; he'll get over your enthusiastic hug. He always does..." Jacob said and Bella for the first time thought it over.

Shouldn't Edward be angry with her too? Why would he excuse her behavior? If she had a boyfriend she would rather kill him than see him hugging another woman.

"Earth to Bells!" Jacob said jokingly but watching her intently. "Finally you're back. Has something happened between you and Edward?"

She blinked. "No, I just had a weird dream last night and I'm still sort of out of tune." Out of her mind would be better. When Jacob had pulled her into him she had felt like she wanted to be there. Before she had always cut short their physical touches, had he noticed a difference? Her eyes met his and she saw that he was studying her, suspecting something was off.

"Nightmare?" He asked concerned and his hands went to her face, caressing her cheeks lightly.

Bella's heart started to beat wildly again, it was too close to the dream. "K-kind of." Great, now she was stuttering as well. What had happened?

He got even closer to her. "Don't worry Bells, while you're with me I'll keep the monsters away."

She closed her eyes, it was all too much. "I know you will." She whispered and at the same time knew that he was her worst nightmare. He was what divided her from the life that she had always dreamed with Edward, her love for him was burning and expanding and screaming to be let out in the open. But she couldn't, she had chosen her future the day she had left for Italy. The Volturi would hunt her down and kill her if she didn't change.

Jacob opened the door of the rabbit and she sat in. He entered as well and grinned at her before turning it on. "Where are we going?" She asked starting to feel the excitement of being with Jacob. Alice couldn't see them so Edward didn't know what they would be doing; she had the freedom to do anything she wanted.

"I thought about something... but I'm not sure if you're up for it." Said Jacob giving her a quick glance.

"Spill! You know that with you I'm up to anything." She replied.

"Anything? Really?" He raised his eyebrow suggestively and Bella blushed. She had really put her foot in her mouth with that.

"Yes, really." She answered. What? Her brain was screaming, was she flirting with him?

His grin wavered for a moment, he seemed unsure of what to say. She had probably startled him with her answer. She noticed then that a faint blush was visible on his cheeks and she grinned. "Gotcha!" She laughed.

He looked at her and laughed too. The tension evaporated. "Geesh Bells, did you want to give me a heart attack?"

She grinned at him. "I couldn't kill you even if I tried. So, what's your idea?"

"I thought that we could go cliff-diving." He said.

Everything went still in her. Cliff-diving was a big thing, she had jumped to hear Edward's voice and she had almost drowned. But this time Jacob was with her, the day looked good and no storm was coming their way. "I don't have a change of clothes."

He laughed. "I asked Emily and she gave me some of hers. They are in the back, you can change into them, jump with me and then you can change back to yours."

"You thought about everything." She whispered, still contemplating whether she was up for it. What if Edward or Alice saw her jumping? She would never hear the end of it.

And since when did she care what other people thought? In a few months she would be a vampire; this was the time to experience life to the fullest. "Let's do it." She said enthusiastically.

They parked in a secluded place. "You can change in the car, I'll keep watch."

Bella got in the back and changed. Emily had given her a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. When she exited she felt Jacob's eyes on her legs. "My eyes are a little higher buddy."

He chuckled and looked up. Their eyes met and for a moment she forgot everything. That dream was really unfortunate and her idea to spend the day with him was even worse. Maybe if she had stayed with Edward and given herself the time to get over her silly dream, but now it was too late. She blinked and he shook his head. She reached for his hand and he looked surprised. "What?" She asked feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing, it's just that you never touch me willingly." He said softly. "I mean, you let me touch you but you pull away quickly or are passive. This is new."

She blushed thinking about what he had said. That dream had changed a lot of things, but right now she didn't want to dwell on it, she wanted to have fun. "New is good, right?" At his nod she smiled and they started walking towards the cliff.

When they arrived she looked down and felt a bit dizzy. "Did I really jump from here?"

"Yep, it still beats me why you did it." Said Jacob.

And she didn't want him to ever know why. It would kill him for sure. "I don't know it either. So... how are we going to jump?"

He grinned. "Do you trust me?"

He had no idea how much she did. A nod was all she could muster. His grin widened and he walked to where she was. He took her hands and placed them around his neck, then put his hands on her waist and pulled her closer. His hands slid down under her bum and she blushed. He took her thighs and pulled them up, after a moment of hesitation she closed them around his waist. "Take a deep breath Bells."

Before she could reply he had started to run and then air was out of her lungs. She felt them dropping down and it was a new feeling, fear and excitement mixed together. They plunged into the cold water and for a moment she was scared but Jacob was still holding her and they re-emerged after a moment.

She laughed and he laughed too. Then their eyes met again and this time Bella couldn't stop. Her lips touched his. He seemed startled but after a moment his lips started to move with hers. He touched her lower lip with his tongue and she opened her mouth. Their lips battled together and the feelings of the dream came tumbling back, the kids, the bonfires, an older version of them cutting a wedding cake, them lying on a bed making love. It was so intense that she never wanted to stop kissing him, but the need of air was overwhelming. They separated and they fixed each other. Jacob was keeping them up in the water effortlessly so his heavy breathing must have been because of the kiss. She knew she was breathing heavily too.

He searched her face and after a moment he dove for another kiss and she let him. She actually kissed him back with the same hunger and intensity. All her brain could think was more and closer. Jacob's dark eyes were watching her like she was a dream. "We should get out of here before you freeze to death," he whispered.

She realized that she was shivering and nodded. He moved her on his back and started swimming towards the beach. Her mind was in overdrive, had they really kissed? What now? Would he expect that something has changed between them? Had it?

He was silent for the whole swim and when they arrived at the beach he let her down. "We better get to the car," he said without looking at her and she felt hurt. Hadn't he wanted her for the longest time?

"Jake, is everything okay?" She asked softly.

"I'm not sure... does this mean that you have chosen me over him?" He asked seriously.

She hesitated a moment and he understood, that this kiss changed nothing. "Jacob I... don't... I'm not..."

His eyes turned dark. "I can't do this anymore Bella! First you say that you don't want me and then you kiss me in that way! I don't know you anymore, what is it that you want? Because I know that tonight you'll let your bloodsucker tuck you in for the night, won't you?" He spat.

She bit her lip, unsure about her answer. "Jacob I..." She felt awful, she was undecided, and she had kissed him because the dream had showed something that she didn't know she wanted. She had to be sure before agreeing to marry Edward.

Then he spoke and her heart froze. "It doesn't matter. You need to change and then I'll take you home."

She was trembling from the cold and probably shock. "Why? We have the whole day..."

"Because I can't do this anymore. I won't ask you to choose Bella. I'm making the decision for you. I give up. I tried everything and now I'm drained. When you kissed me for a moment I thought that you finally realized that you loved me and that I was right for you...but I should have known better." He looked defeated and started walking away.

She followed him to his car, not really knowing what to say. He wasn't really giving up on her, was he? She changed slowly in the car thinking about something to say. Something to lighten up this situation, after all Jacob, got angry but he always got over it. When she was ready she sat on the passenger seat and he came in.

The drive towards her house was silent. When he parked he was still looking straight ahead, like he didn't want to see her.

"Jacob... talk to me." She pleaded.

"I've got nothing else to say Bella. We'll help the Cullen's in the battle and then you'll be free to be with your leech for eternity. Get out of the car now, I can't stand to look at you a moment longer." He said angrily but underneath it all she could see the hurt, the pain and the hope that she would say something different this time. But she couldn't.

She tried to touch him but he moved away. "Don't touch me." Shock, hurt and rejection mingled in her mind. She got out of the car and he sped away.

Bella watched the car leave; Jacob had finally given up on her. She couldn't believe it, after she had finally realized that she loved him he had left her. A pain, very similar to the one she had when Edward left, crushed her heart. The hole that she thought had finally closed was ripped open again and she could do nothing to stop the agony.

She tried to hug herself, trying to hold it in but it was too great. She fell on her knees and then she sat on the ground. Her legs couldn't keep her up. She didn't know how long she sat there, but she was shook out of her funk by warm hands.

"Bella what happened?" asked her dad looking concerned. "Has Edward left you again?"

It probably would have hurt less if he had. "Jacob... Jacob left."

Charlie seemed puzzled. "What do you mean Bells?"

She closed her eyes while her father helped her stand up. "He said he couldn't take it anymore, he left me... but he promised that he would never leave me... that he would never give up, but he has."

Her dad hugged her and probably for the first time she hugged him back. "Bella, a guy can take up to so much before exploding. You don't have to worry, Jacob will be back. Maybe he is just stressed out, let him cool down and soon he will be back. But you should take this opportunity to..." He seemed to hesitate, "to think things through."

She blinked still shocked and hurt. "What are you talking about dad?" She managed to ask through her daze.

"I'm speaking about your feelings for him. Bella, don't you see how much you care for him?" He said still holding her.

Tears started to fall. She knew she loved him, now she really knew how deep her feelings for him were, but she loved Edward too. She loved Edward more... or didn't she? Would Edward be able to fix her like Jacob did? She wasn't sure. She had always thought that she couldn't live without Edward but Jacob had helped her through the darkest phase. Could she survive though without Jacob? Was Edward enough?

Too many questions and not enough answers. She let her father take her inside and into her room. "Why don't you lie down a bit?" She nodded feeling numb and disconnected.

Bella sat on her bed and didn't know what to do with herself. She lay down in fetal position and watched the wall. Jacob told her that he had chosen for her, that he was letting her go. But how could he? He had fought through thick and thin for her, for her humanity. She sighed, could she give Edward up for Jacob? Would she want to? She stayed there letting her mind wander to all the months that Jacob had been there and helped her out. He had slowly gained her heart, inch by inch; he fought through anything she had given him for granted. She had given her heart to Edward without him doing absolutely anything to deserve it, but Jacob did deserve it and she had left him out cold.

A knock at the door startled her. Edward entered slowly. "Love? What happened? Alice saw you here crying."

Bella looked at Edward, really looked at him. For the first time she tried to see him like the others did. He was handsome and kind but underneath it all his mind was made of steel. Never had he wavered in his conviction, for him it was either black or white. But to Bella the world was made of colors, and for the longest time she had forgotten that you couldn't live only of love.

She blinked, realizing for the first time that she had survived after Edward had left but she now knew she couldn't live without Jacob. "Edward... I'm sorry." She whispered.

He kneeled by her with his beautiful golden eyes looking at her with love and adoration. "What are you sorry about love?"

"I can't be with you anymore." She blurted out before she felt her courage fail her, had she really said that?

He seemed startled."Why? What has changed?"

"I'm in love with Jacob." Her voice was finally acquiring strength.

He relaxed slightly. "I know Bella. But you love me too, so don't feel guilty about it. I know part of your heart belongs to him, but the most important thing is that the biggest part is mine."

"It was yours..." She replied. "Now I think that it's the other way round. I love you Edward, my seventeen years old self will always love you totally and completely. But I'm nineteen now and I want to grow up. You weren't there but Jacob was and we grew up together. I never knew that I wanted what Jacob was offering until today when he decided to let me go. I can't lose Jacob, I can't."

"But you're ready to lose me." He said brokenly.

She gulped. "Yes." Her heart was beating wildly but there was no hesitation.

"Are you sure Bella? Maybe it's one of his tricks." He said desperately.

Her heart broke a bit at seeing him so sad but she couldn't lie anymore. "It might be or not, but now I know what I want. When I'm with you I feel like I can be this fragile doll for the rest of my existence but Jacob isn't scared of breaking me. He doesn't keep me on a pedestal. I'm real and he is real."

He passed a hand through his hair. "And I'm not."

She nodded. "You are perfection, you are the fairytale prince. But I'm no princess, I'm just a simple girl who finally realized that she loves her best friend and he matters more than anything. More than my own happiness, because I've got no doubts that I would have been happy with you... I could have given up my parents, my life, my friends, my career... but not Jacob. Never Jacob."

He smiled sadly and took her hand in his. "So are you going to get your man or what?"

She seemed startled by his words. He kissed her hand. "Bella, for as much as I love you, there is something I cherish more and that's your humanity. I'm aware that you could have been human with me but it would have never made you happy, with Jacob you can be human and share everything that comes from that. I'll love you forever Bella and I know you will too. But if Jacob is the one that you want more, I won't stop you."

She stood up then and hugged him. He held her closer; they were both marking it to their memory. There was not going to be anymore closeness. "I love you so much." She whispered.

"I know." He said.

Then they separated and walked downstairs where her father was watching them.

Edward reached for the door. "Take care Bella."

"You too." She said and smiled at him. He smiled sadly and left.

Her father turned to look at her. "What was that?"

"I chose Jacob." She replied and his eyes widened. She laughed then. "What? You wanted me to pick him since the beginning, am I not going to get your approval?"

He hugged her. "Of course you're. Let's go."

"Where?" She asked puzzled.

"To tell Jacob, you don't think that I'm going to miss this. Hop in my car." He said laughing.

Bella shrugged her shoulders, and followed him.

They arrived at the Black's house and she saw Billy coming out from the house.

Bella walked slowly towards him. "Is he... home?"

Billy nodded and then grimaced. "I'm sorry Bella but he doesn't want to see you."

She bit her lip; she hadn't just broken hers and Edward's hearts for nothing. "I know Billy, but I finally made up my mind and I want him to hear my choice from me."

Billy studied her face and then seeing her eyes he smiled. His entire demeanor changed. "Really?" She had tears in her eyes but she nodded. He moved the wheelchair away from the door. "He is in his room."

The house was dark and no sound came from Jacob's bedroom. She opened the door and he was lying on the bed with his arm on his eyes. "I don't have anything else to say to you."

Bella heart was beating wildly. "Not even if I say that I'm sorry? That I have been a fool, that I took you for granted and that you didn't deserve to be treated like second best? Not even if I tell you that I chose you, that I broke up with Edward because I realized that you are the only one I want to be with?"

Jacob moved his arm away and his eyes searched hers. He wasn't giving away anything. "Can you guarantee that you won't go back to him at the first problem?"

"Can you guarantee that you won't imprint?" She countered.

They studied each other for a long moment.

Jacob sighed. "Bella, I don't know if I can take another disappointment. If I let myself believe in what you're saying and then you go back to him..."

She walked closer. "I won't. I love you Jacob, I'm in love with you. I want everything with you. A family, kids, always being late, drinking warm soda on a dirty sofa, sharing you with the pack... I'm sure Jacob and if you give me a chance, you won't regret it. "

He smiled then and opened his arms. She dashed into him. "Ohmp!" He said when she basically put all her weight on him. "Bells, you're heavy!"

She laughed. "Shut up! I'm not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Jacob... shut up and kiss me."

The end