I do not own anything Yadayayayaya.
He opened up his door to find the love of his life standing there helpless. Her caramel eyes were watery and red. She looked like a lost puppy trying to find its way home.
"What do you want Blair?" He kept the door half open and he leaned against the door frame.
She looked down at her shoes. She sniffed. "To talk." She looked back up at him.
He watched as one tear fell down her cheek. He wanted to wipe the tear away and hold her tight, but he reminded himself of what she had done to him. He stood firm. "You want to talk? Then talk."
She took a deep breath, he could tell that she was holding back tears. "Chuck. I'm so sorry. I know what I did was stupid and inconsiderate. I just… I felt so, confused. I don't know what I was thinking. No one liked me at NYU and I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to succeed in something, but everything I tried, I was shot down. I wanted to feel confident and self assured."
He hated seeing her like this. He wanted to forgive her, he probably already had. But he needed to stand his ground and be strong. "You thought a stupid speech would win over a bunch of pseudo-intellectual homesick malcontents?" He was quiet. He didn't want to scare her or upset her.
She shook her head. "I don't know. I wasn't thinking. NYU is so much different. Vanessa is who people look up to and like. I felt like….. if I beat her at something then, people would like me."
He shook his head. "You're special enough on your own. If people don't like you for yourself, then they aren't worth it."
She nodded and looked at the floor. "It was stupid, I know. I wanted more people to like me. I felt like I had almost no one."
He looked up and looked her in the eyes. "You had me."
Another tear slid down her cheek. "I wanted to be loved. In the process of doing so, I lost the one of the only people who loved me for who I was and trusted me more than I trusted myself."
He didn't say anything. He looked down at the ground again.
"I lost you. I lost the person that mattered most. You're worth it."
He stayed quiet. He hated himself for it, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything.
"Chuck, I need you." She whispered. She started to cry. "You give me something more than anyone I've ever know. Love. You care for me, you're always there for me. I know… I can always count on you. When I'm with you, I don't think about how fat or skinny I am, how ugly or pretty I am. I don't feel like I have to be better to fill your expectations. I haven't thrown up any meal since I've been with you."
He looked up at her. He hated the thought of his beautiful Blair retching over the toilet trying to be better to fill anyone's expectations.
"Chuck, all I'm asking for is forgiveness."
His eyes got watery. Why couldn't he say anything. He tried to speak but his throat was as dry as a desert.
She looked down at the ground and crossed her arms. She was trying to control herself. "Chuck, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you so much…" She continued crying.
He couldn't take it anymore. He let out a tear. "Come here." He pulled her in. He crashed against her like a rock. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tiny figure tightly. She cried into his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him. "You could never lose me Blair."