One look at her and I knew I would drown.

I tried so hard to stay afloat, but in the end I didn't care. I cannot live without her.

Try to forget. Try to ignore the desire. The one unbroken thought racing through my mind. I cannot breathe without her.

One night together. I cannot deal with just one night. Knowing I had held her. Knowing I had kissed her. Knowing it was all I wanted. I want to drown with her. In her.

Believing I could carry on. Thinking we could be friends once more. Wishing I would forget. But I cannot dream without her.

We know it's wrong. If discovered, our worlds will end.

Damn the consequences.

Constant reminders of that night taunt me. Those lingering looks, once so innocent. Standing so close I can smell her shampoo. Small, innocuous, torture. Knowing this is wrong.

Our friendship was never the same. Everyone could sense it. Opportunities once seized to work together, we now avoid. Being together is too painful.

Cannot not take this sweet torment another minute. Cannot not carry on. This lie, this sham. It kills me.

Years. Years I have thought of nothing but her. Have yearned for nothing less than her. Nothing could prepare me for the agony of knowing yet not having. Surely there is no worse a pain?

Pleasure. Anger. Misery.

So I go. Leave the safety of my quarters. Leave the sanctuary of duty. Throw my whole in pursuit of that which I desire and fear more than anything else.

I will hold her in my arms. Completion. That surge of emotions too strong to hold back. Weakness. I must hold her closer. Kiss those soft lips. Taste the sweet scent of her on me. Life.

I will carry her upstairs. Place her on the bed. Tomorrow will come. Let it.

My hand hovers above the wooden door before me. Fear grips me. No. Not fear. Something new, unknown. In itself terrifying. Deep breath. Perhaps my last.

She stands before me. Hair rumpled from sleep. I sigh. Let my eyes find hers. She knows why I'm here. I lean forward, slowly. Lips touch for the briefest of moments. Tentative. Passion and need swell within me. The incessant need for more.

Mouths meet again. Hunger. She pulls me into the house. The door closes behind me.

My jacket is soon discarded. Move quickly towards the stairs. Never breaking contact. Hands. Mouths. Bodies. Must touch her. Must feel her. Need to know this is real.

Soon her robe is laying abandoned. Fatigue pants unbuttoned. Rush towards the bedroom. Collapse onto the bed. Arms, legs, bodies seem to be everywhere.

Then the soft warmth of her skin beneath my hands.

In this moment I know. I know pleasure. Know lust. Know love. Know I was wrong.

Without her there is no life to go back to.

Without her there is nothing. Without her I am wrong.