I do not own any of JK's characters, that is all to her beautiful mind. This is but my ideas. Rated M for future chapters, please use discretion if you are too young to read. Other than that, enjoy xx
Severus' quill scratched furiously at the worn out piece of parchment in front of him. He was trying his hardest to stay focused on his letter to the editor of Potions Weekly, but as usual, a million and two thoughts invaded his mind at once. With each movement of his arm, the coffee in his mug at the top of the desk swished dangerously close to the top, threatening to spill its contents onto his parchment. For two weeks now Severus had been trying to write this letter, but each time he began he found something of higher importance to accomplish- and by higher importance, it turned out being mediocre things like lounging on the couch and letting his mind carry him away, drowning himself in a great book, or just drowning himself in glasses of Firewhiskey. For months now, Severus had been working on perfecting the perfect potion to cure Dragon Pox, something he was planning to not only sell to St. Mango's Hospital for some extra money on the side, but to be published in Potions Weekly. Publishing meant something as exciting as possibly having a job offer and being able to leave Hogwarts.
Severus was all for that idea.
Today, though, his mind was on something much more important than Firewhiskey or a book, it was on Lily Evans. Since their graduation, Severus had not heard much from her. A few owls were exchanged between the two (and by few, about eighty percent from Severus), but the two of them lived separate lives. The last he heard, Lily was working full time as a healer at St. Mungo's, and the latest news, she was preparing to wed James Potter. The sound of his name made Severus' blood curl and it was the reason he had near fifteen empty bottles of Firewhiskey stashed neatly away beneath his kitchen sink.
Though he was a smart man, he told himself every time that alcohol would not get rid of love, and in his half drunken state he found himself each and every time composing a letter for Lily, desperately pleading her to give him a chance and throw Potter away. More times than none, the accidental spill of ink or drink on the parchment sobered him just enough to make him throw it away.
Three months, and she would be standing at the alter in a beautiful gown, confessing her love to a man who did not deserve it. Then again, did he?
Severus looked down at his parchment, his quill stopped at the end of a word. His eyes scanned towards his cup of coffee, and judging by the stillness of it, he let his thoughts get to him for too long once more. He was calling it quits. He crumpled the paper and tossed it into the waste bin next to his desk. He stared at it for a moment before pointing his wand at it, and lighting it on fire. "Blasted letter." He murmured, grabbing his coffee cup with a steady hand to sip the now ice cold liquid.
It was quitting time for the day, and he stood, taking a look around his office. It was in its usual state, something that he considered clean while others may consider messy. Everything was in its place, and that was fine with him. He left the coffee on the desk for the House Elves to clean, and he packed a few papers away in his brief case to bring back to his quarters with him. Something caught the corner of his eye near the window, but he did not look immediately. It wasn't until the owl became impatient that he snapped his head up, examining the snow-white owl. He scowled. "Can you not see that I am busy?" He hissed, and he took the letter from it. The owl stared up at him with big eyes, and Severus stared right back. "I do not give owls treats for doing their jobs." He told the thing with an odd coldness in his voice, and the owl flew away. The chances of it being a letter from Bellatrix were high- and he was not in the mood. He tossed the letter in with the rest of the papers and retreated quietly, and alone, to his quarters.