Note:

All credits for the creation and ideas of this story goes to 'Ask Snape' by ultrasoul who hijacked the idea from another fic she doesn't know about. So don't sue me, okay?

"Now Zeus is doing something worthwhile," stated Hera snobbishly. "Much better than chasing the skirts of mortals."

"An online doubt-clearing site did you say?" asked Demeter.

"Yes. It is called Ask Jove. Com."

"Free to the access of mortals?" said Athena disbelievingly.

"Oh yes. Half-bloods and Gods can post their questions too. He'll answer them within a week."

"I helped in the creation of the site!" said Hermes proudly.

"And Hephaestus."

"What sort of questions?" enquired Poseidon.

"Oh, anything under the sun."

"Worth checking out," agreed Iris.

Meanwhile Zeus was feverishly typing out the answers. He loved this thing. It brought him much closer to his subjects, their troubles, their lives and he need not lose his temper and pay a hefty damage compensation! Why, he didn't even step out of Olympus and he had knowledge that he usually took five years to gain. There were so many other advantages too . . . . .

Q1:Why, why do I always end up killing my Math teacher? Okay, it isn't one my favourite subjects, but then, when I get exceptionally annoyed, I create this white luminescent stick and throw it at him/ her and wham, they're dead.

I'm not crazy!

-Jake Stratford

A: Stratford you say? Son of Josephine? You must be one of my sons. After Henry, before Parker, maybe born during the same time as Asteria. Well, we'll just put you in a school where you can't kill your teachers. But my boy, you can't avoid math. Better start doing your homework!

Q2: I've just discovered I'm in love with my stepsister!

-Michael Wood

A: Good. Sister are HOT! Have a nice stormy affair with her. But DO NOT GET MARRIED TO HER. Ever. She can make your life a living hell.

Man, don't I know about it?

Q3: There's this girl that I like. But she's super cool; there's no way that she'll see me. And there's this other girl, a mortal, who likes me. But Apo– my cousin is trying to see her. Advise me, please?

- Plankton Knight

A: Mr. Plankton Knight, or shall we say, Perseus Jackson?

Consider it a miracle that you're not dead yet. I usually zap kids of my brothers on the spot but as I'm impartial, I answer.

You better forget Annabeth if you want to live. Take the mortal. She's all yours. And do not worry about Apollo, he sees a girl every month.

If you don't make a move within a week from now, I will. Feisty red-heads arouse me.

Q4: Lord Zeus,

I love my father, I really do. But he scares me so much I can hardly face him! Sometimes, he behaves like this absolute idiot, shouting out what he wants, and refuses to listen to others.

I want to, you know, just smoothen things out.

-Rueful Tomboy

A: I suppose you are talking about someone like my son, Ares. If so, let me tell you one thing: you can't smoothen things out with him. Don't you think I haven't tried?

One simple tactic always works: Leave him alone.

Q5: I had a relationship with a satyr. We even got married. But he got, um, promoted. I don't think he'll notice me anymore and I can't go along with him!

-Juni

A: Dear Juni,

Relax. There are no female satyrs. And how much ever he gets promoted, nobody will look twice at him. Trust me. That's why they marry dryads, cause they can't run away. Happy married life!

Q6: A king dies in battle and his city is ransacked, but his wife and daughter escape. A merchant and his son see the pretty footprints they made. The merchant vows to marry the girl with the bigger footsteps while the son goes for the smaller footsteps. They follow the footsteps and reach the queen and princess. But the one with the bigger footprints happened to be the princess and the one with small feet was the queen. But father and son don't go back on their vows. Now, both couples have a child each. What will be their relation? How will the children call each other?

-Wisecrack

A: Aaah, reminds me of the games Hermes and I played. . .

Damn the relation. They'll call each other by name.

Q7: King Zeus,

I . . .I'm out of words. Talking to you, the Ruler of Olympus is a privilege in itself ! * sigh *

I Love you. Your stormy eyes, your powerful frame, that immaculate business suit . . . set my heart soaring the moment I saw you.

If only I get the chance to talk to you . . .

-Madly in love,

Martha Ford.

A: My lovely Martha,

I'm out of words. Meet me at the Palm Springs tomorrow.

Waiting eagerly for you.

Q8: King Zeus, respectable Lord of the skies!

I'm disturbed by the memories of a. . . . . . .boy. Or man. Whatever. I can't respond to his affections, but I want to. Please help.

-Troubled Girl

A: My dear Thalia,

Being a huntress is a beautiful way to live. And nobody can look after you better than Artemis. Always remember that.

Apollo is naturally. . . a bit inclined towards the girls. He may show you a little extra affection among the hunters but he's that way with every girl in the world. Apart from you, he's see ten others right now, including Rachel Elizabeth Dare.

Just ignore him. Or complain to Artemis.

That always works.

I respect your privacy very much daughter, but your e-mail id is quite revealing.

Always willing to lend an ear.

- Lord Zeus

Note:

Please send me your questions too! Any question! Lord Zeus would love answering it.