We're Okay!
By Rebecca Sparkes
"Oh, c'mon Luce."
"You know I can't." I replied a little harshly. Ashley understood my situation better than anyone. She'd been there through it all, kinda like a protector.
"Yes you can, leave her with Jane. You know how much fun they have." I have to give it to her, Ashley could argue about anything and most of the time she won, when we were younger it was small things like who got to go on the swing first but now that were sixteen it'd progressed and was now about things like staying out all night for whatever party was on at the time.
"NO I can't. Mums going out tonight, she has that perfume party thing, what's it called again?" Trying to distract her was always a sure fire way to get out of long winded arguments that could easily be solved in a couple sentences. Dealing with my best friend was a chore though; it was never a simple call like, "Hey Lucy, you free tonight?" "No. Sorry." "Okay, Bye." It was always drawn out and exhausting like the one I was currently having.
"Oh, Le'reve. My aunt had one of those last weekend. I got this killer perfume; it's called like Dream or something." And my plan was a complete success.
"Is that the one you were wearing on Monday at the Aquatic Centre?" I asked, now focussing more fully on the task at hand. Tedious task it is, picking out food for someone other than yourself, especially when the person you're buying it for relies on you.
"Yeah, that's the one. I'm surprised you could still smell it, I'd been in and out of the water for hours by the time you guys got there."
"Well you try wrangling her when she doesn't wanna be moved. Turns out bananas are just that good." I replied light heartedly, using this as a chance to draw some focus from my conversation and use it in my actual world.
"I could, she likes me." Laughing like she had some sort of inside knowledge made me intrigued.
"Why, what's your secret oh wise one?" I asked in an awe filled voice that was completely mock filled. I found it funny.
"You see, there is this magical process where you actually take her, deposit her in the seat and then pass her the object of infatuation." She replied in a faux knowledgeable tone.
"Against her will?" my faux shocked tone caused a fit of giggles to resonate through the phone line and it seemed it was contagious as my own body began to shake with laughter, earning me looks from the other occupants of the stores isle.
Isle eleven, the isle that always, without a doubt earns me odd looks. Every time I turned the cart out of isle ten and continued on the path, descending the trip to my destination eyes would turn and whispered conversations would ensue, especially when I started selecting my items.
"Why of course, it's the only way. You shall one day learn the lessons of the master, Grasshopper." At hearing this I broke out in another fit of giggles. She really had watched too many movies. It was ridiculous; she could come over to my house any time of the day, any day of the week and surprise me with some movie that was completely out of left field. One day we'd be watching the original Karate Kid and then another we'd be watching Flash of Genius (seriously, that movie was about windscreen wipers).
"Okay, well Grasshopper has to go. Who knew this stuff could be so heavy." I heaved the basket higher on my arm, its contents rattling in protest of the sudden jerky movement.
"Alright, well I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow?" it was more of a statement than it was a question but I knew, obnoxious as she was, Ashley would never come over uninvited. She knew just how organised my life needed to be.
"Yeah, tomorrow." I was relieved that she'd seemed to have forgotten our beginning conversation.
I was just about to hit the red phone button that would end our phone call when I heard through the little speaker, "And by the way I'll be sure to tell Sophie you're sorry you couldn't make it." Smiling at her understanding nature I finally hung up my phone and slipped the small, silver device into my right jean pocket of my pants. Looking back up at the food selections again I quickly grabbed a couple cans of fruit and vegetable creations, making sure to grab extra of the banana flavoured custard.
Making my way up to the cash register I dug my wallet out of the brown, leather handbag, slung over my shoulder. After finding it right at the bottom, underneath a selection of various junk I opened it, finding that I only had five dollars in change I figured I could just use my bank card and deposit the money I used back in there when I get it next week.
"Next." I heard called from register three, two registers down from where I was at number five. Noticing that no one was going to fill the opened space I made my way across the four metre gap between me and a quick check out.
Reaching the opened space I realised everyone's reluctance to be served. Some tall, teenage boy was working the register, looking more and more confused with the push of every button. I just hope he could ring my items up and complete the transaction without having to embarrassingly call out over the intercom for assistance. Some of the most embarrassing moments of my life had happened in supermarkets over the intercom.
When I used to wet the bed:
"Can I please have a price-check on dry nites, ten to fourteen years?"
My first period:
"Price check on extra long, Libra invisible pads."
Did I mention that I'd been crushing on period call guy since I was ten? Well I had and then he had to scan up my feminine products.
"Hey." I greeted as I placed my basket on the conveyer belt and started unloading my items.
"Hey." He greeted back as he grabbed the first jar off of the belt and scanned it through. Well, one down, twenty to go. I thought as I watched him swipe the jar of banana custard over the laser that somehow took all the information off of the barcode and into the computer.
After scanning all of my items through and bagging them in some really expensive reusable bags he spoke for only the second time, turns out he wasn't interested because he hadn't even looked up or struck up a conversation with me. I however was interested, craning my neck to catch a glimpse of his name tag that read 'Will'.
"That all?" he asked, still not looking up but keeping his eyes on the screen in front of him.
"Yeah, that's all. Thanks." I replied as I pulled my card out of my wallet, dislodging my photo of Grace at the same time. Watching it I cringed as it fell to the floor behind where Will stood. "Crap, I'm sorry. Could you please get that for me?" I asked politely as I stood on the balls of my feet to look over the bench between me and my photo.
"Sure." Will crouched down to the floor and disappeared from my view for a couple of seconds as I set myself flat on my feet and righted my balance again. Returning to his rightful position he looked down at the piece of glossy paper between his fingers. "Cute." He deduced from his first glance. "Your sister?" he inquired sheepishly.
Yep, that was the conclusion that everyone came to. Complete strangers that had no idea of me or my life would immediately assume that the picture of the baby in my wallet was my sister. "No, daughter actually. That's Grace; she's a little over a year old." I suppressed a burst of laughter at the look his face took on, he was completely shocked.
"Daughter?" he asked and looked back down at the photo still in his hand. I'd taken it on a family vacation to Queensland where we stayed in five-star hotel that had the most gorgeous carpets and Grace seemed to love them, constantly crawling everywhere and falling asleep during the day just because she was so comfortable. The carpets were the shaggy style in a pure whit colour, it was almost as if someone had just poured bleach all over it and gone to town. Photo opportunities had slipped me by one too many times so I had taken to carrying around the small blue digital camera I'd bought before we left, adamant that I would catch the next one when it came.
The perfect moment came when I was folding up the load of Graces clothes I had just washed and decided to put a crème, green and grey beanie on her head for a laugh. I never thought anything could be as cute as watching her crawl around with the over-sized beanie flopping around on her head. Lying down on the ground next to her I took the camera from my jacket pocket and started snapping random photo's. My favourite had been printed and put in my wallet, just to remind me of what I lived for every day. Grace was lying on her stomach, facing me and watching as the camera caught the perfect moment with big green/grey eyes. Those eyes are the same ones her father had had, a green so deep that you couldn't tell if they were actually green or grey. They were the first thing I'd fallen in love with when I was fourteen, being a teenager I fell quick and fell hard. After a couple months of dating we'd made love and after that it was every time there was no one in either his house or mine. Our love was carefree and fun until the strip turned pink, informing me that I was pregnant and our worlds were about to be turned upside down.
Jake, Grace's father, had been perfect. Coming to all of my appointments, reading all of the right books and putting up with mood swing after mood swing, that is until I went into labour. After ringing him to inform him of Baby's early arrival, a week and a half early he told me that he liked the name Grace and then ended the call. As my body was being put through the ringer by our baby he was fighting his own battle.
After the call had ended Jake climbed into his car and drove to meet me at Woman's and Children's hospital to meet me, apparently forgetting some important things like speed limits and his belt which was proven to be a big mistake when he was hit by a semi-trailer. Admitted through the Emergency ward he was immediately taken up to surgery where they fixed a couple of internal injuries like his punctured lung and ruptured appendix. Because of the extent of his injuries they induced a coma and after a long and hard fought fight Jake was taken off of life support.
I made sure he met Grace and vice versa. I walked into the sickly white room two days after giving birth to our daughter and laid her on his chest, only managing to mutter one sentence before dissolving into a fit of hysterical crying. "Grace, meet your Daddy."
Coming back into the here and now instead of where I was in my memories I met Will's eyes as I reached for my photo and stuffed it in my wallet quickly. "Yeah, she's the light of my life." I said, confidently defending my lifestyle.
"Cool, I like that. Some people are all about the materialistic things and not the deep stuff." He said as he spun the card machine around to be facing me. "Credit or savings?" he asked as I held my red NAB card up, ready to swipe it and complete my transaction.
"Savings." I said as I swiped my card down the machine and all I could think while putting in my pin was, who does this guy think I am, Miley Cyrus, pffft, credit? I wish. "Thanks." I muttered as I went to grab the bags from the end of the register's bench.
"I probably should've known you had a kid from all the stuff you bought, hey?" Jake laughed and gestured to the bags filled with Diapers, formula, new pacifiers and a variety of different mashed up foods in jars that I, personally, thought were disgusting.
"Yeah, probably."I smiled and left the store, vowing to come back and see this mysterious 'Jake' again. Maybe next time I would bring Grace with me and see what she thought, of course she couldn't talk but she'd sure cry if she didn't like him. My baby had some lungs.
Climbing into my little, yellow lancer I started for home, wanting to see Grace now more than ever.
After driving the ten minute drive home from the supermarket I entered the two story, brick building that I'd been calling home for my entire life. Walking through the front room and into the kitchen, placing my groceries on the counter and unpacking them, putting my purchases in their rightful places, carrying some of them into Grace's nursery: it was all so methodical and I couldn't wait until I had completed the ritual.
With everything put away I made my way into the lounge room and saw my baby on the ground, playing with toys she'd gotten for her birthday roughly three months ago. After glancing at my mum and throwing a wave and smile her way when she looked up from the magazine she was reading she greeted me back, "Hey Lucy. Get everything you need from the store?"
"Yeah, it's all good." I said and watched with a smile as Grace recognised my voice and looked up at me, smiling a cheesy grin that stretched from ear to ear and she pulled herself up off of the floor and toddled over to me, almost falling on her bottom a couple of times on the way over to me where she leant against my knees and slapped my right thigh with the palm of her hand, trying to get my attention.
I heaved her up and onto my hip while still holding my smile in place. "Hey, Grasshopper." I said, now jiggling her her around a bit.
Eliciting a hearty giggle from her little body she squeaked out, "Yay, Momma." And clapped her hands as we bounced around the lounge room to some song I'd gotten stuck in my head on the car drive home.
"Yeah, Baby. We're okay aren't we?" I smiled at how our lives had turned out. Sure, Grace didn't have a dad but that was only because he loved her so much, okay, we lived with my mother because she knew we needed somewhere to live but all in all we were on our own. We did our own shopping our own cleaning and we had each other. Yeah, were okay.