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+This whole entire story was inspired by the song "Make It Stop" by Rise Against. Watch the music video, it really is beautiful and the message is very strong.
+This is my first serious project and I'm putting my heart and soul into it so please take it seriously too.
+ I do not own South Park.
Enjoy.
Kids who got judged by who they choose to kiss, bullies that fight what they don't understand with the only thing they know: violence and cruelty, and the worst are the ones who stand by and watch it all burn to the ground without a care on how other people felt besides themselves. A problem everywhere that, unfortunately, hasn't been solved out and lives have been lost because of the people who choose to not accept. Blood and embarrassment, any chance of self-respect lost, and the shame they feel for just being who they were; something that was experienced every day and every night from sun up to sun down non-stop and no rest of being criticized by the people they once called friends and family. With tears on their pillows and an emptiness in their hearts they fought this and stood strong not knowing that the darkest comes before the dawn and each day they got weaker and weaker, their souls dying bit by bit from the cruel words that echoed in their head as the that they choose to believe as their only reason why they were made this way. Because what else did they have besides their slimming hope? Teased, ridiculed, and discriminated in the hallways of their school that held memories they wished to forget forever but were brought up every time they passed either that one locker that their head was one smashed into by upperclassmen or the restroom were the were humiliated in by some sick disgusting students and their camera phones . It was all just a never-ending cycle or pain and angst.
Surviving each day by the weakening grip they had on the thought that one day...they will make it through with whatever strength they had left and prove all those who told them otherwise wrong.
This is a story that shows the struggle that these kids suffer everyday just for having different preferences than what is considered "normal", thinking that what they have is a disease that can't be cured and they were born to be misfits of society forever when they don't believe the truth that they are perfect the way they are. They feel certain that they can continue to live what they go through and think it won't get any better, seeing no chance in being something later on in life. They live with their eyes close taking beating after beating being the fighters they are. That not even God can accept them for being what they think is evil. This a story that tries to show that life has its bites and bruises and though sometimes the scars never heal the bleeding does stop at a point. This is a story about them, the ones who are what they are and are saviors to each other.
This is a story about The September's Children.
Chapter 1: The First Child
His name was Kevin Stoley.
A normal sixteen year old kid: blood type A positive, honor roll student, worked part time at his mother's book store, and loved old school rock and roll. He wasn't the most popular kid to begin with, being labeled as the nerdy one who got glasses in middle school, and was often ignored most of the time but used it to his advantage to being more observant than the average kid. He had friends. He talked (not as much as some but he still talked) and was well liked. He hated Eric Cartman along with the rest of the world, his favorite color was green like the green of a brand new light saber collector's item still in the box, his mother is Chinese, and he hated Mondays. But despite all this there was one thing that made him stand out to others, made him so different that he got picked on all the time and often left school with a limp and a bloody nose.
Kevin Stoley was gay.
He was in the closest for years, though he never knew it. He didn't know it until he actually realized he had feelings for someone of the same sex as him. His story started in early high school in the beginning of the second semester of ninth grade, during the time where students who were serious about their grades got a head start on their studying for the big tests coming soon in April and everyone else who wasn't as determined about their mark point average were just psyched that summer was nearing. He had Algebra eighth period that year; right at the end of the school day, making it very hard to pay attention to the lesson with all the nonchalant chattering of his classmates that waited each second out until the bell made it known that their suffering would finally be over and their social lives could go on afterwards. He didn't care for social status or who got a new haircut, he just wanted to learn quadratic functions.
It was a mild temperature mid-February day —mild for South Park at the very least. Snow was starting to melt and scarfs and mittens weren't needed as much as usual, the perfect day for learning without freezing your nuts off in a below zero degree freezing classroom. He had his notes out and his trusty sharpened pencil along with his algebra book ready for just another average day of math until the unexpected happened.
"Hey, Kevin!"
The boy looked up from the pile of papers in his hands, peering at whoever spoke to him over the top wire rim of his glasses. At first he thought he was just hearing things and dismissed the voice as a trick of his ears, returning to his note skimming, until the voice repeated itself.
"Kevin over here!"
His eyebrow arched with confusion as he looked up from his papers one more time, using the tip of his index finger to push his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. The huge goofy grin of a familiar shaggy haired brunette wearing a red and gold school letterman jacket caught his attention.
"Gee are your ears as blind as your eyes?" the boy sitting in the desk further up from him, turned backwards spoke -showing that he was the one that called him. The greasy dark-haired teen laid his papers down flat on the metal desktop and eyed the boy before him peculiarly.
"Your ears can't be blind." Kevin deadpanned making the goofy smile of the other dissipate into a frown. "What do you want?"
The brunette looked both ways, as if he was making sure it was safe to do anything, before getting up and sitting in the empty desk next to Kevin. The student that usually sat there was absent making it vacant for the day. With his smile returned and all, he leaned his weight to the right and lowered his voice to a stage whisper.
"You're good at math right?" Kevin thought he was joking at first but the profound look on the round face next to him looked legit, making him think that "Oh my god, this guy is actually serious." With a slow nod, the odd boy breathed out a sigh of relief and continued with a sudden resurrected goofy smile.
"Awesome. I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor."
Kevin frowned, "Um...what kind of favor?"
"Don't worry, dude. It's nothing bad. It's just..." a light blush tinted his tanned face while he absent-mindedly scratched an itch on the back of his neck.
"I was wondering if you could...ya know," he looked at Kevin like he actually expected him to know. Kevin just arched his eyebrow in confusion once again. This conversation just kept getting weirder and weirder...
"I'm sorry I'm afraid I don't know." The boy groaned and furrowed his hands into his brown hair acting like he was in total agony.
"I was wondering if you could...maybe..." he mumbled the last part too low that it sounded like gibberish. Kevin leaned over in his seat a bit to try and hear what the teen was saying.
"I'm sorry I can't hear you. You're going to have to speak up. "He repeated the mumbled words louder but it still sounded like gibberish to Kevin still. With a sigh, Kevin leaned back into his seat, feeling frustrated with whatever this idiot wanted.
"Look if you're not going to speak louder than I don't have to time for th-"
"I SAID I WANT YOU TO TUTOR ME!" A few students turned heads at his sudden outburst but shrugged it off seeing who it was and returned back to whatever they were doing. Kevin's usually squinted eyes widened behind his thick lensed glasses, staring at the flushed kid with a bewildered expression spreading like wildfire on his face. He cleared his throat awkwardly and bit the inside of his cheek before responding.
"Why on Earth do you want me to tutor you?" he spoke, hiding the perplexity in his voice quite well. "Let's be honest, you don't usually pay attention in class and you don't really seem to care at all about learning. Why the sudden change?" The boy knitted his eyebrows in a cross expression and Kevin grew even more confused on how what he said could've angered the teen. He only spoke of the truth.
Oh that's right, people don't like the truth...
"What if I just want to pass for once? Is that such a shocking thing to believe! Huh?"
"Kind of, yes."
"Well fine if you're going to be a dick about it than just forget I said anything!" the desk screeched the floor as he pushed himself out of the desk but something in Kevin, he didn't know what, made him reach out and grab the boy's arm before he could leave. The shoulder of the desktop jabbed into his chest, making his lungs hurt, but he merely let out a feeble wheeze and uttered out in a pained voice,
"I'll tutor you."
It was the brunette's turn to be confused.
"You will?" the glasses on Kevin's nose where now starting to fall off in a delicate balance on top of his nostrils, forcing him to nod very mildly in response so they wouldn't drop to their death on the dirty school floor.
"Yeah." He gasped out, feeling the desk dig even more into his squishy organs. The owner of the arm that Kevin gripped to grinned wildly, having the urge to hug his new nerdy savior as thanks but decided against it.
"Sweet! So what time do I head over to your place?" Kevin let his arm go and sat up straight, rubbing his stomach soothingly.
"Eh…Why are we are we going to study at my house?" winced Kevin. The other boy laughed as he started heading back to his own desk.
"Because I know if we study at my house I'll never pay attention. Too many distractions." He waved his hand. "So I'll go over this Friday after school! Makes sure you've got food, I can't work on an empty stomach for the life of me…" Kevin smirked and waved the boy back rather lamely. As the boy laughed again sitting back in the desk surrounded by his peers and other letterman jacket wearing jocks, Kevin felt a warmness burn at his face. He brought his hand to his cheeks; feeling a bit embarrassed for blushing for no reason and thought maybe the new warmer weather was starting to have an abnormal effect on his body. He heard a guffaw come from the desk further up from him and saw that goofy smile from a side view just before class started.
"Sure." He murmured to himself. "It's a date."
Only a study date of course and nothing else.
Friday came rather quickly; in fact it somewhat sneaked up on Kevin and he almost forgot about it, being too lost in his studies as usual to remember, until the boy reminded him on the said day.
"Yo Kev!"
The spoken to teen sighed louder than needed to be, looking up from his cluttered notes at the annoying smile he felt a sudden loathe for.
"What?" he sneered, annoyed. He heard the boy scoff at what he felt was an unnecessary angry tone.
"Jesus Christ...no need to be a cranky douche. I just wanted to remind you about those snacks. I'm serious, I CANNOT work without food." The papers went down hard on his desk as Kevin remembered the scheduled study date, running a hand through his jet black hair in frustration.
"Aw shit…"
"Don't tell me you forgot about the tutoring!" the hurt boy gasped.
"...ugh, yeah I did," Kevin inhaled bitterly. ", but there's food at my house so don't worry." The teen tugged at the sleeves of his letterman jacket, wincing, turning back around in his seat.
"Alright cool." He stage whispered again. "Meet me after class then we'll head to your place, okay?" Kevin pushed his glasses back up with his finger, staring at the back of the other's brown haired covered head with an odd feeling at the bottom of his stomach starting to settle.
Why is he whispering this?
The class ended sooner than Kevin expected, the math teacher in a better mood than usual giving them a few minutes to leave earlier than having to wait till the bell rang. He put his organized papers in an equally organized binder, stuffing it all carefully into his old Star Wars sling over shoulder bag, and headed outside of the classroom to the empty hallway filled with the echoed whoops of all the other students let out early from class. Being lucky, his locker was not too far from his classroom and he could get whatever he needed from it now before he headed off home. The familiar steel locker that had dents from all the abuse of rough-housing students of previous years held his well taken cared for lock dangling off the hinges of the openings that kept it closed. Making sure his bag wouldn't slip off his shoulder, he placed the pencil in his hand on the edge of lips and twirled the little knob of the lock to the appropriate numbers that opened it. Hearing the satisfying "click" the locker opened and with the pencil still in his mouth, he brought the shoulder bag on top of his knee that leaned against the other locker as he piled in his history book and other note spiral into the already stuffed bag. He heard a rustling from the other side of the locker door but he waved it off as another student probably getting some stuff from their own locker. When he was finished and had gotten everything, he snapped his bag shut and closed the locker door only to see the familiar letterman jacket flash at the corner of his eyes.
He was startled at first from the sudden closeness but when the brunette showed that goofy grin the fright wore off quickly and was replaced by irritation. He let out a sigh, grabbing the pencil out of his mouth and back in his pocket and returned back to his locker duties-remembering to securely close his lock to make sure it didn't open. Kevin started walking off in his routinely everyday afterschool walk back home...only with a whiny jock following at his footsteps.
The sound of two pairs of footsteps echoed in the void hallway as they neared the exit doors, with each step the strap of the bag dug into his shoulder rather painfully but he bared it. Being used to the heaviness of his books was something he didn't mind at all. But this didn't go unnoticed but his new "follower"...
"You should let me carry that for you." The voice said warily behind him as Kevin pushed the bar of the heavy metal school doors. The fresh mountain air filled his lungs immediately, chilling his insides and bringing a shiver up his spine. Kevin ignored the boy and continued down the steps leading to the partially filled patio with kids who had afterschool activities having a casual chat before heading off to them. "I know you heard me. I can't let you carry that bag. You look like it's tearing your limbs off!" the boy jogged up to his side wearing a slightly concerned expression.
Kevin rolled his eyes, "I'm capable of carrying my own bag. I've carried more than this before all the way home and back." The gates of the school neared and the sidewalk leading to his street was seen in the distance. He snorted out what sounded like a laugh.
"That's pretty sad. You always walk home by yourself?" Kevin's ears burned, feeling the anger start to rise inside of him. He offers his help to tutor this kid and he pays him back by insulting him? That's nice...
"I like the walk alone. Gives me time with my thoughts."
The teen next to him snorted once more what sounded like a stifled laugh, making Kevin's ears burn even more.
"Well whatever I'm still saying you should let me carry that bag and I'm not going to take no for an answer again."
"Well when you put it that way...No."
The boy flushed, "...Uh, well that's too bad! Give me your bag or..." he paused. "Or I'll do something real bad! Yeah! Real bad!" Kevin smirked to himself at the sound of the teen's flustered words.
"Oh? Like what kind of bad stuff? Eat all my food? Because I'm sure that'll happen whether I give you my bag or not." A muttered "smart ass" came from the brunette making Kevin smirk the more. They were now on the sidewalk that led to Kevin's street while the sun warmed them up and their shadows followed them behind like lingering secrets.
"Just give me the bag, Stoley." He made a grab for the strap on his shoulder but his fast reflexes helped him nudge away just at the right moment.
"I said no." he put a protective hand on the strap and smiled smugly up at the teen that was about equal height to him. He pouted rather cutely at Kevin and it was a strange sight to see, a letterman wearing jock pouting to get what he wanted. Kevin never thought he'd lived to see the day...but considering who it was he wasn't that surprised.
"Please!" the boy whined maintaining his pout making Kevin weak at the knees. Why on earth was this actually working? The sight of a varsity athlete whining should be viewed as pathetic...not "cute". Feeling confused Kevin gave in and slid the strap of the bag off his achy shoulder, giving it to the brunette who was nothing but happy that he had won the short lived dispute.
"Damn what do you have in here Stoley?" the books in the back thumped around the more he shook it. Kevin stopped him with a glower and felt the anger rear its ugly head again in the pits of his stomach.
"Books; something you're not used to carrying around." he sniped back rather harshly. "Stop shaking them around, if they get torn then I have to pay for them." The rustling stopped and a grimace was etched on the round faced teen, continuing to walk the path that Kevin knew so well it was almost robotic. It stayed peacefully quiet for a mere couple of seconds before an exaggerated sigh came from the teen holding Kevin's bag on his shoulder. Kevin, of course, ignored it. The boy just sighed again, louder.
"Something on you mind, your highness?"
"Why are you being so mean to me? I haven't even done anything to you yet!" hint of whine hid behind his angered tone with the sound of him adjusting the strap of the bag comfortably on his shoulder. Kevin stifled a laugh and tried to keep a blank face. Was the almighty varsity letterman actually hurt because he couldn't handle a few jokes?
"I'm not trying to be mean, honestly." That was a lie. "I just get annoyed easily. Don't take it as offense." from the corner of his eye he saw a small smile start to take its form on the round face and little more jump go to his step. Kevin almost smiled, too.
"Oh okay." Quiet took its form once more but as the same as the last time it didn't take long for it to be broken. "So...what kind of foods do you got at your place?"
The use of broken grammar made him wince and forget about that smile he almost created, but instead of replying with a snarky comment of his about it (no need for more whining, right?) he answered without attitude.
"Snacks. Just plain old American snacks."
"American? Does that mean you have food from other countries too?" his eyes lit up with a tinge of excitement. This kid really did love his food...
"Yeah I guess."
"Like what?"
"You don't want to know."
"Yeah I do!"
"No seriously you don't."
"What makes you say that?"
"Because as far as I've known, no average American kid likes to eat squid." He stayed silent and then started to make a sound of disgust that sounded just like his snorted laugh.
"...the fuck? Squid?" he gagged. "You eat squid, Stoley? That's sick! Poor little squid!" the end of the sidewalk came finally. Kevin looked both ways before crossing to his street with the annoying boy still at the side of him with the sound of gravel crunching under his sneakers.
"I didn't say I ate the squid now did I?" Kevin bit back. "Besides you asked."
"Yeah but I didn't expect squid! It's all slimy and fishy, it's disgusting." He made the gurgled disgusted sound again. "Who in your family would eat that?" Kevin just shrugged his shoulders and smiled faintly seeing his house come up in the distance. He hit the brunette in the shoulder and pointed in the direction of his house.
"That's my place. C'mon hurry." He picked up his walking pace, desperate for the comfort of his home and just wanting to get this whole tutoring thing over with. The other just groaned and weakly picked up his own walking pace to match up to Kevin's, fixing the strap of the bag from falling while doing so.
"Why are you in such a hurry? Can't wait to destroy some little squid's life already?"
Kevin felt like ignoring would be the prime thing he'd be doing that day.
And it was.
They got to the house even quicker because of Kevin's decision to run like all mighty hell there. After an awkward introduction with his new study buddy and his mom,
"Uh konnichiwa?"
"She's Chinese, not Japanese."
"Oh sorry...um arigato?"
"..."
They made their way to his room and being as exhausted as he was already he didn't even bother how the jock would react to his room.
"Dude..." the sound of his book bag hitting the carpeted floor along with the thump of a heavy body going down with it. Kevin sighed and turned around only to see that the guy was now lying out on his carpet, looking around at the room with awe. "It's like you live in a spaceship full of comic books!"
Turns out his room was a major distraction and it made the whole day seem even longer. The kid couldn't go a single minute without saying, "Oh my god I can't believe you have this, what a dweeb!" or "You have to let me borrow this!" Yes, Kevin's room had everything a nerd could possibly dream from limited edition Batman comics that still said Detective Comics on the front and old school video game consoles like the SNES or an Atari 2600. It was awesome.
"DUDE! YOU HAVE THE GOLDEN CARTILEDGE LEGEND OF ZELDA OCARINA OF TIME N64 GAME!" he laughed like a maniac. "THAT'S SO AWESOME! IT HAS THE ORIGINAL CHANTING IN THE FIRE TEMPLE AND EVERYTHING!"
And they called Kevin the geek...
Though it was nice to have someone to appreciate the hard work and effort he had to go through to get those things he loved and treasured so much, there wasn't time for all this. Days and days went by and the more the guy wanted to go over to his house to study it always ended the same: Kevin's kitchen stripped of its food and his room in ruins. The sooner Kevin could force some math into the dimwit's head the faster this could be all over and no more having to stock up on food. Tests were nearing soon and if they didn't start actually studying then...shit, they were done for.
"I'm serious. If you can't figure out the area of a rectangle than you're going to flunk the whole thing." Kevin sat criss-crossed on the bed with his algebra book flat on his lap. The other was just lying down face up on the floor reading a comic book and sipping a juice box that hanged limply by its straw from his mouth.
"Pfft I know that!" he said through the straw, splattering juice all over the place. "Its pie r squared, ain't it?"
Kevin sighed with his nose still deep in the book, "That's area of a circle, idiot."
"Same thing isn't it?"
"No it isn't."
"Well then fuck..." the comic book came down and he sat up, box of juice still hanging from his mouth by the straw. "Why should I know this shit? It's not like some time in the future I'm going to have to know the area of a rectangle anyways!"
"You need to know it for the test. It doesn't matter if you're going to use it in the future, you need it now and that's all that counts." He pulled the spiral note book laid out on the bed closer to him and scribbled down in quick little squiggles the area of a circle and the area of a rectangle out beneath all the other notes he wrote down beforehand. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed it on the floor startling the teen with the loud thump it made.
"Study that." Kevin deadpanned, returning back to his math book. The jock stared at the spiral before picking it up and looking at it, scrunching his eyebrows like it was all the words and numbers were in a different language. His eyes got to the part with the formula for finding the area of a circle and a giggle spurted out, making the juice box fall to the floor. Kevin tried to ignore it. He tried so hard.
"What's this squiggly thing that looks like a dinosaur?" Kevin leaned over slightly to see what the guy was pointing at.
"That's the Greek symbol for pie." He rolled his eyes. "You should know that. We learned this stuff in seventh grade." The boy on the floor frowned but continued to look at all the other notes that Kevin scribbled out in the midst of algebra class. The more he looked at it the more he frowned, feeling like he could never get this all down by testing time.
"Kevin, I'm sorry I'm so stupid." He sighed, letting the spiral hit the floor. "I'm just wasting your time with all this. I'll never learn anything." The spoken to teen looked up from his book and saw the crestfallen expression of the usual cheery round face. A strange feeling in his stomach arose but it was ignored.
"You're not that stupid." (Wow, so nice.) "You just need to pay attention more. That's how you learn." The sad look on his face remained.
"I try paying attention but it never works. I can't help it. I'll fail the test just like I always do. Maybe I'm just a lost cause..."
"Now you just stop saying dumb stuff like that!" the strength in his voice even surprised Kevin himself. "You are not a lost cause. So you buckle down and you start reading up on quadratic functions, goddammit. You will not fail that test, okay?" The big brown eyes looked up at Kevin from down on the floor, showing bewilderment and marvel for him. Kevin felt his face heat up as the stare started to pierce him like a knife in the lungs. In haste, he returned back to his book. A cold silence started to settle after a long moment as Kevin kept the book close to his face but he wasn't even reading a single word, he couldn't tell if this was supposed to feel awkward or not. It shouldn't feel awkward but it did...what made it feel so awkward? The sense of the brown eyes intense gaze started to drift and Kevin felt himself go to ease behind his book. The silence stayed and after a couple of minutes the teen down below cleared his throat.
"Thanks, dude. That means a lot."
A nervous smile crept on his face.
"No problem."
Both boys were now smiling and now with the sudden feeling of being intent on passing that test he studied and was also —to Kevin's surprise; quiet for the remainder of the day.
Lenient studying and a quick encouragement talk once in a while did make the once slow minded jock learn more. The more Kevin had time to actually analyze a learning method for him, the faster he caught on to the stuff he never got in the past years of math classes. Kevin was a great teacher to say the least, if he could make this guy learn even the tiniest thing like the area of a rectangle than it was a proud moment for just about anyone. Kevin started to see past the annoyances the kid could bring and instead saw him as an eager mind that had been put down thinking there was no point in learning (and having Mr. Garrison as a past teacher could explain that part mostly). He also saw that he wasn't just another transformed meathead and was still that same little kid he once had for that same class, childhood memories caught up in the struggle to grow up as soon as possible just like the rest of the old friends he once knew. Those little study dates they had almost every single day were nice and before he knew it, Kevin had gotten attached to having him there every day after school. However, during school was a whole different story.
During school, he returned to the meathead jock that everyone else saw him as — ignoring Kevin and anyone else that wasn't labeled as "cool" as all the other athletes. Kevin didn't care at first seeing as they weren't really friends, just study buddies, so that shouldn't interfere with their lives at school but the more closer they got during the time afterschool the more the jock ignored him at school. It was confusing but...Kevin disregarded it as just lame social status stuff that didn't really matter to him. They talked afterschool and that was good enough.
The week before testing started was chaotic. Notes were piled high in his bedroom and snacks were overflowing the kitchen, practically bursting out of the cabinets with the more studying they did every day. The anticipations and tension was too much to handle and even though Kevin was well trained for the stress that came with testing his new friend wasn't as prepared...
"I know I'm gonna fail! I just know it!"
"You won't fail. Calm down. You studied very hard for this."
"Yeah but what if everything I studied just disappears from my head the minute they give me the test! Arg holy shit I can't do this!"
"Will you just calm down? That won't happen."
"You don't know that!"
"Yes I do! Believe me, I do! Now shut your face up and study this shit!"
"Fine! Man, I wished I had the power to stop time."
"Me too, dude, me too."
They studied their fucking brains out is what they did.
Despite their effort to try and stop time, testing week did come and the familiar scan-tron sheets and those shiny No.2 pencils that still remained that obscenely bright yellow as always were placed in front of them in a classroom that slightly resembled a prison cell. Stuck in the prison cell for the remainder of the school day with a bunch of other kids that a majority of them you don't even know and the only thing you get for lunch was cold cut sandwiches in a brown sack was pretty brutal...if there was no clock to count the seconds till the day was up then it would be borderline torture.
After the usual reading of the test rules from whatever teacher was doomed to be stuck in the class with the rest of the students the sound of scribbles of lead circling answers on paper soon filled the desolate room and the pressure begun. Now it was time to see if all that studying was for something.
During the whole time of testing a new feeling came up in Kevin that wasn't a feeling he felt usually in testing. A feeling in his stomach that ached and his whole body felt like deadweight in his desk and instead of the usual answers that filled his head for the next question his mind was occupied by something else that made him into a sort of daydream-like trance full of questions and anxiety.
Kevin was worried.
Never had he felt worry during testing time, he always was confident and was the first to finish in his class since he knew all his answers were right. Worry was a foreign feeling to Kevin Stoley, but just what exactly he was worried about had nothing to do with his answers. He was worried for him. What if his little crazy excuses about just blanking out the minute that pencil was in his hand and the blank sheet was in front of him was true? What if there was a question he tried to spend the entire day on instead of just skipping it and doing the rest? What if he never finished the test in time and he failed? What if he had to repeat the ninth grade all over again and he wouldn't be able to join any of those stupid athlete things that he loved so much? Would that be all Kevin's fault if he failed? He wouldn't talk to Kevin ever again if he failed and that would, for some reason, kind of suck.
But even though more questions piled up in his mind he never quite could conclude to the one question he needed to figure out the most from: Why did he care?
Why indeed did he, Kevin Stoley, care about some stupid jock that ate all his food and whined a lot? Was it because he was afraid that if he failed then he could wrangle up all his other jock friends and beat him up for making him fail in the first place? If that wasn't it then could it be some sort of bond that made him worry for his mind sake and esteem if he failed? If he did fail then most likely he would never study again and he wouldn't bother learning because he would see no point to it if he was just going to fail all over again, and that just wasn't right. He would be sad and those huge brown eyes would build up with tears and that just would break Kevin's heart to see because he did work so hard to pass and he deserved to go to the next grade just like anyone else. He was dedicated and really sweet with that big goofy grin of his, being a bit naïve at times but that naïve was what made him so lovable. He was like a child; easily excitable about everything and had an active imagination, it was really fascinating to see someone try to find fun in just about anything. He didn't think he was special but Kevin knew he was special in his own way; way damn more special than others for a fact. Special because he had a heart and a soul and that itself was really hard to find in others ever since they hit high school. It's like people lose who they really are once hormones hit and hair starts growing in places where the sun don't shine. Special because he was dorky and smiled too much, his jokes were mega lame and he thought he was God's gift to earth. Those eyes sparkled every time he won a huge kill streak when they played video games and that hair was just a mess from always lying on the floor, he smelled like sweat and food all the time and his voice got really annoying when he was mad about something. He'd get powdered cheese on Kevin's most mint conditioned comic books every time he decided to eat Cheesy Poof's before reading them and there was even a time he took a limited edition Obi Wan Kenobi action figure right out the box without a second thought. He was frustrating as fuck and he never shut up about how awesome he was and how his day went, like the whole world cared that he stole a marker from a teacher's desk and got away with it!
And it was all this that Kevin liked most about him, he just didn't know it.
When the day finished Kevin made his way to his locker like he always did. Since there was no reason to take his algebra book back home it was in his locker that it will stay for the rest of the school year. The hallway was empty of course; everyone had immediately left because frankly if you're stuck in the same classroom the whole day the school is just the last place you want to be in the minute the bell rings. The bag now hanged limp on his shoulder from lack of books and he slammed the locker shut, twisting and spinning the dial to each number without flaw, and when he turned around to leave he was immediately face to face with that goofy smile he just practically spent all day thinking about.
"What's up, nerd?" the teen snickered, poking Kevin's chest playfully. Kevin frowned. He hated that word so much.
"You know what I just noticed?" Kevin hummed, looking into the big brown eyes of the brunette with a smile of his own. "I'm taller than you."
The goofy smile melted into a scowl, "Like only by a couple of inches!" he lamely fought back.
"So? Still a couple more inches than you'll ever be."
"Whatever! "he pouted, giving up quite easily. "So how'd you do on the test, Stoley?" Kevin felt his ears burn as he turned on his heels, starting to head towards the door that lead to the patio area of the school with the jock not too far behind.
"It was easy." He murmured. "How'd you feel you did on the test? Did you at least finish it?" it sounded like he was just joking around but deep inside he really wanted to know if he at least finished it like he hoped he would. He heard a groan come from the other as he lamely walked by his side out the door.
"Yeah I finished it but..." he trailed off, mumbling whatever he didn't want to say. Kevin's eyebrows furrowed in worry and the thoughts and fears from earlier started to swirl about in his mind.
"But what?"
"I don't know just forget it." The tone in his voice sounded distant while he walked down the steps of the stairs leading out to the patio. The patio was just as empty as the hallway which was odd, but then again it had been a testing day.
"No tell me." insisted Kevin. The other looked away and gave a small sigh, melancholy started to take its form on his expression.
"It's just that, well I gave it my all but I don't think my all was enough. You get it?" that distant tone still covered his words. "It like no matter what I do I'll never pass those fucking tests and even if I do somehow manage to pass the best I could get is a low D. There's just no use." Kevin's ears burned even more seeing that sad look on his face and those words he spoke so strongly like he knew it was true, but they weren't. Not by a long shot.
"What have I told you about being a downbeat?" Kevin stopped in his tracks, stomping his foot on the ground like child starting a tantrum. "You are NOT stupid for the millionth time already! Man, I have never met a guy as frustrating as you! We haven't even got the results yet! Hell, we haven't even left school grounds yet and you're talking shit out your mouth about already failing the test!" his angry voice echoed in the emptiness of the patio. The boy's dopey brown eyes widened at Kevin's sudden change of emotion, how red his face was turning with anger, and the fierceness in his voice. He had never seen him show this much expression before.
"You gave it your best shot didn't you? You studied like a bitch to pass this test, right? Well fuck stop bringing yourself down! You're not going to fail so shut the fuck up already! Jesus Christ, you're a smart kid and you better start believing it or so help me I will kick your ass so hard it becomes your face!" Kevin was panting and his ears were burning hotter than ever. The more he looked into the shocked brown gaze of the other's the more he felt his heart beat faster, his hands clenched into white knuckled fist and his eyebrows furrowed into an angry knit. The brunette's mouth was gaped open before any words came out, he breathed out an unsteady breath.
"I don't know if I should be pissed off that you just told me to shut up" he paused ", or I should be touched that you actually think I'm smart." a nervous laughed came from him. "But thanks...thanks a lot. I'm sure that's probably the first time anyone actually said anything remotely nice to me. Thanks for being so nice." Kevin smirked; uncurling his fist and feeling the anger melt instantly from him. The fact that this guy just considered a threat nice was just the coolest thing ever.
"No problem." The heavy feeling in his heart came back as they continued to walk to Kevin's house. "Just stop being so down on yourself, okay?"
"Okay."
"Now let's hurry up and get to my place! I spent hours shopping for food yesterday!"
"Why? Did the supermarket come in with a new shipment of squid?"
"...boy, you heal up quick don't you?"
That little outburst made Kevin think a lot more than usual. The whole time the brunette was there at his house he couldn't help but to notice on how some things seemed to stand out more than usual about him. He never noticed on how his eyes sparkled when they talked or how his face flushed whenever touch was accidently made. When did all this happen? Why did things so awkward now? There shouldn't be anything that should be making them feel awkward in the first place but yet there was this undeniable tension in the air. Something he couldn't figure out that he was just so desperate on finding out the problem as soon as possible. One thing he never did quite understand was why the guy kept coming over to his house when there were no more tests to study for but he didn't bother asking. He didn't mind it so why should he ask?
The day came for the test results. Sent out to student's homes in a fresh white envelope signed and sealed with a teacher's "love", everyone loathed those freaking results as much as they loathed the school itself. Not only did this said envelope choose your fate in the oncoming school year but the letter inside's life goal was to make it as hard as possible to figure out if you passed or not with that insane little bar graphs on each little question that you did.
It was a nice Saturday morning, cool but not too cool. Kevin woke up to a white envelope on his nightstand that he guessed his mom brought up to him while he was still asleep. Once he recognized that familiar blue stamp and address the drowsiness in his mind was cleared and that envelope didn't stand a chance before being discarded to the floor in a matter of seconds. Kevin's hands trembled a bit and he had no idea why he was so nervous, he obviously passed. Then the thought that that annoying dork was probably getting his own envelope right this second popped up and he knew why he was so nervous. He got out of his comfy bed immediately and went through his habitual morning routine in a much more hurried pace, he had to find out if the dork passed. He just had to. In the midst of brushing his teeth the sound of the doorbell chimed downstairs and not to long the sound of loud, thumping footsteps started to near. He spat out the foam and rinsed his mouth to see who the visitor was, now in his daytime clothes, and he swore he heard them go into his room.
Sure enough there he was, sitting on Kevin's bed with a similar white envelope in his hands. Nervous brown eyes stared up at him as he walked into his room and he couldn't help but to share the same feelings.
"Why are you in my room? Who let you in?" Kevin groaned, crossing his arms in the doorway of his room. "Damn I knew I should've got security or something." The teen on the bed furrowed his eyebrows.
"This isn't a time to joke around, Kevin!"
"Who says I'm joking?"
"Seriously!" he clenched the envelope tighter. "This is a matter of life and death here!" Kevin rolled his eyes and sat next to the other on his bed, extending his hand towards the envelope.
"Stop being a drama queen. Give me the freakin' envelope." he smiled briefly before doing so. Kevin used his finger to open up the envelope and take out the paper; and just like earlier his hands were shaking. He looked below the complex bar graphs to the numbers that showed how much you missed out of the fifty questions and saw that...
"You passed." Kevin smiled. "You passed, dude! You passed!" a laugh came from both of them as they both looked at the paper with amazement.
"Are you sure? How can you tell? All I see are a bunch of graphs..."
"You see the numbers below that?" he pointed to said numbers. "It says here that out of all the fifty questions you missed only twelve." The boy still looked confused. "That means you did really good! You passed!"
That huge goofy grin came back at full extent that it looked like it might've hurt just a bit.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE I PASSED! HOLY SHIT THIS IS AWESOME!" Kevin flinched as the kid yelled right into his eardrum but the smile on both of their faces remained. "I'VE NEVER FELT SO FUCKING HAPPY IN MY LIFE! AHH FUCK THIS IS AWESOME!"
"Calm down, killer. You'll make the whole neighborhood go deaf." he laughed while rubbing his ear.
"I'm sorry but come on you can't say this is just awesome!" he yelled in a much lower tone. The two meet eyes feeling the excitement in the air starting to take ahold of them. Those big dopey brown eyes that Kevin seemed to love so much were filled to the brim with delight and that feeling that his stomach had been getting for the last couple of weeks was now sinking in big time. They sat so close together on the bed being so distracted they hadn't even realized that both of their hands were now touching.
"Yeah it's pretty awesome! I'm real proud of you, dude." Kevin smirked. The big brown eyes started to show an emotion besides the happiness of the math scores while the big round face started to tint a light pink.
"I have you to thank! If it weren't for you than I never would've stood a chance!" the hand clutched Kevin's hands even tighter making him now aware that they were indeed touching hands. The sudden skin contact made Kevin's face burn up in a bright red and the heavy feeling in his stomach got heavier.
"It's no big deal. You're the one who studied, I just helped." his words were nothing but modest. The tension was starting to build up; the same tension that Kevin could never figure out on why it happened.
"Dude shut up. It was all you!" the light pink on the guy's own face grew even pinker. The feeling of his rough hand against Kevin's skin was nice...very nice.
"Uh...sure okay I guess." the nervousness in Kevin's voice was very clear because he honestly had no idea what was going on. The look on the other's face was adorable, all nervous and shy; it started to make Kevin scared on why he thought he was adorable. Silence covered the moment and no words left either one's mouth, their eyes continued with their awkward lock and their faces grew brighter with each long second that passed. Soon they started to feel the other's breath on their face, warm and heavy breaths, as they grew closer and closer and the next thing that happen was inevitable.
He kissed Kevin.
There was nothing but shock at first but as their two lips continued to be pressed he felt nothing but pleasure. So this was the thing he was trying to figure out the whole time. That weird feeling in his stomach was finally explained. The reason why he cared so much about him was so easy to answer now. Just everything made sense. Everything felt complete. The solution was just so freaking simple he didn't know why he never came up with it in the first place!
Kevin was in love.
But this isn't right. His first love wasn't supposed to be with another guy! It was just wrong...wasn't it? It didn't feel wrong...it didn't feel wrong at all. Logic has it that if it doesn't feel wrong, it shouldn't be. He should just accept for who he is. Right?
The kiss deepened but before anything else could happen he pulled back from Kevin's lips, the others brown eyes now showing deep confusion.
"Holy shit." He whispered, touching his lips with his fingers. "Holy shit!" the bed bounced up as he stood up from it with his hand still touching his lips. Panic was widely shown across his now paled face, looking like he just saw a ghost. "HOLY SHIT!" he repeated. Kevin felt his eyebrows knit in worry but he remained seated on his bed.
"Uh-"
"SHUT UP!" he pointed a shaky finger at him, anger replacing any other emotion he once held. "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! SHUT YOUR GAY ASS MOUTH! JUST SHUT IT!" tears brimmed at his eyes as he looked at Kevin with hate. "YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME GAY FOR YOUR SICK LITTLE TWISTED DESIRES! WELL THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT!" he shoved the envelope in his jacket pocket as he started to storm out the door. Kevin felt his heart sink.
"Your just confuse-"he never got to finish that sentence because a fist to the jaw shut him up before he could .Blood trickled from his mouth as numbness started to settle at the lower half of his face, knocking his glasses straight of his nose and forcing him to the floor. He kicked him in the ribs making all the air leave his lungs. As he clutched at his stomach the rabid look in the jock's eyes pierced his thoughts along with the words he spat out like vile sick venom.
"I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of you. Just you wait." The sound of footsteps pounded on the floor as they made their way out of the door. "You should die for being such a fag..."he slammed the door closed leaving Kevin curled up on the floor with a bruised jaw and a broken heart.
"If you no stand up to you fears then you no better than what causes them", his mother once told him in broken English when he was young. The words stuck to his mind like a Post-It that he never forgot. Just something in that sentence struck a chord to him when he heard it and even though his current situation was far worse than his old fear of Darth Maul hiding in his closet at night at the age of five, the meaning behind it wasn't any different. He had to go to school Monday whether he liked it or not, a little high school drama wasn't going to interfere with his studies. Sure he had just got rejected in the worst way possible by the first person he ever had feelings for and he had just realized that he was gay but... all in a day, right? He just had to keep on going just like that saying. He walked to school just like he always did, he went to his usual classes like he always did, and he wrote down notes just like he always did. So far the day had gone off without a hitch and no one had asked him how he got that bruise on the side of his jaw thanks to the help of a hooded jacket. The desk that usually held the brunette was strangely empty but he ignored it because that's all he could really do about it. It was all going great...until he got to the last part of his day: putting his books back into his locker.
The hallway was just as empty as ever. He put the last book into the safe hunk of metal and locked it up doing everything just like he normally did. He felt at ease that nothing had gone wrong so far and that school day finally ended, home was just a couple steps away and he'd be safe. As he approached the doors that lead to the patio a hand patted him on the shoulder, startling him. Kevin let out a quiet gasp and whirled around; staring at the face of the owner that only gave a cruel smile and a piercing glare full of hate in return. The tall, build bodies of four other meat headed jocks stood behind him with the same nasty smile that he wore, cracking their knuckles and laughing maliciously with the obvious intent of breaking some bones on their minds. Kevin felt his heart stop beating, feeling fear's cold hand choking his last pulse out with sharp, jagged nails and a cold sweat starting to bead on the back of his neck.
"Ready for your beating, fag?"
How Kevin thought his smile was once adorable was far within the depths of his mind now. Instead of that goofy grin it was a mouth full of blood-thirsty razor-sharp teeth and as a replacement for his once dopey, warm brown eyes were now dark soulless voids that seemed to rape his mind clear of lucid thoughts. Oh the word adorable was enough to be laughed at till you died. This wasn't the boy he fell for; this was a malevolent, heartless monster.
He wasn't given time for an answer. One of the meat heads grabbed him by the collar and forced him into the lockers, his glasses flew off onto the floor as his head collided with the dank metal with a huge amount of force and slight low pounding starting to throb into the hollowness of his ears as a voice started to snarl in it.
"We're gonna beat the fucking gay right out of you!" his heavy breath breathed onto his face as he laughed before he slammed Kevin again, face first, into the lockers. Blood trickled from his nose while numbness filled his face again; a low groan somehow came out of his mouth. Someone kneed him hard in the stomach forcing him to his knees knocking all the wind out of him. Another person stomped on his back making him hit the ground, jaw crushing onto the floor while he laid spread out, more blood starting to leave his mouth. More kicks to the stomach and sides up to the point where he started coughing out blood. A merciless jock stepped on his hand making him shout out in agony as his scrawny finger bones got crushed underneath the letterman's heavy boots. He ached all over and the pain felt unbearable as they continued to find more ways to torture him. It felt like they had been beating him for hours on end until he realized that they were now carrying him out to the patio, dumping him in a nearby trashcan. The vile garbage leaked into his cuts and wounds, making it burn even more, and the sound of their laughing haunted his mind.
"Fucking nerd! Not even trying to fight back!"
"What else do you expect from a faggot!"
"You're fucking pathetic, Stoley! You should just kill yourself! No one would even notice!"
"Yeah it's not like you'll get anywhere in life! No one likes a flaming fag!"
"Kill yourself, you geeky fuck! Get a gun and just blow your brains out!"
"Better yet, use your light saber and just shove it up your ass till you die! Then at least you'll die doing something you love, shoving things up your ass!"
"Haha what a loser!"
The boy with the changed smile and soulless eyes that he once loved held his glasses in his hands, only throwing them on the ground and smashing the lenses and frames to bits underneath his pitiless shoe.
"Try to see shit now, butt pirate!"
He drank in those words like bitter poison just like he took punch after punch. He walked home with a limp and a shattered spirit. Never had he felt so depressed, never had he felt so ashamed, never had he just wanted to disappear from the world forever. He couldn't ignore this, not if it he had to face it in the mirror each morning with the bruises and cuts he received almost every day. It stared him right in the face like a big remainder on how pathetic and downhill his life had become. There's was only a month or two of school left, he could survive...at least that's what he told himself. He told his mom that he fell and of course being a mother she did not believe him. He lied to her over and over. He could never tell her the reason why he kept getting beat up. He didn't want to shame her and the family by telling her that her only son was gay. That would kill her just like it was nearly killing him. He felt like he was just this big shame to everything around him. Sitting by himself at lunch was no different but the heavy stares coming from everyone around him was undeniable. Everyone was going to know his secret. They would all know his story soon, each and every one of them and they'll talk about him behind his back about how pathetic he was. He felt like he didn't deserve any emotion towards him, not even pity. The whispers in the hallway and the classrooms were melting into his skin like shadows of a secret, darkness of the misfortune. Stares were always on him that at the end of the day he felt like showering his skin with the hottest water temperature known to man and rubbing himself clean of those hungry stare until he reached bone. His pillow was always soaked in either tears of blood from an open wound, his dreams turned to nightmares of those eyes that he fell in love with telling him that he should die, and that's only if he got any sleep. His story was a tragic one...but that's how he was known now. All students now knew him for the one thing that made his life into the living hell that it was:
Kevin Stoley, the boy who fell in love with Clyde Donovan.
Huge Stolovan fan right hurr so it pains me to make Clyde a huge dick...
Sweet sugar nuts, you have no idea how hard it was to not mention Clyde's name once throughout this entire chapter. Never had I used the words "teen", "brunette", "jock", "boy", and "other" more in my life...
Don't worry this isn't the end, there's more to come. I hate sad endings too much to leave it like this ;A;
R&R~