DISCLAIMER: I do not own Roy Mustang or FMA if i did Hughes wouldn't have died. However I do own Erin Chronos and this list. I did get the idea of this list from "Skippy's list." I know shame on me... but I couldn't resist making one of my own.

(if any ideas like this have already been done then I am sorry. )

Oh mustang was livid. He was steaming from the ears mad. This time lieutenant Pain in the ass went too far. She ruined everything, and caused it to come down to this...a list...of the things she can no longer do while under his command. It even had the Furher's seal of approval and he never approved anything of Mustang's, well at least what he thought was important. ( cough mini-skirt policy cough)

The Flame alchemist slammed this list down on said pain in the ass' desk causing her to look up at him confused.

" What's this?"
"Guidelines." Mustang said sharply.

"for what?"

"you!" He screamed at her.

Bewildered the young leiutenant looked at the list,

Things Lieutenant Chronos is not allowed to do under the command of Roy Mustang:

1:You cannot purchase souls during work…or at all for that matter.

2:You are not allowed to leave your office when high-ranking officials are visiting.

3:You are not allowed to set things on fire even if I (Roy) do.

4:You are not authorized to fire officers.

5:You are not allowed to touch any buttons.

6:You can't drive the tank either.

7:You cannot show up for formation whenever you want to.

8:Just because Havoc takes smoke breaks does not mean that you can take them too. You do not smoke.

9:You are not allowed to invite Wrath over for a play date with Ed.

10:If the thought of something makes you giggle for more than 5 seconds you should assume that you are banned from doing it.

11:No, You cannot use my pictures as the targets while at the shooting range.

12:You cannot touch Riza's guns.

13:You are defiantly not allowed to sell Fury to horny men for Kalishnikovs…no matter how fun the name of the gun is.

14:You cannot arrest Ed for being rude.

15:Or for refusing to drink milk.

16: No you cannot play with the explosives.

17:The correct way to address Lieutenant Hawkeye is " First Lieutenant Chronos reporting sir." Not "What the hell do you want now bitch?"

18: You cannot taunt Havoc with cigarettes while in the office.

19: You are not allowed to get shot.

20:No, that doesn't mean you can use Alphonse as a shield.

21:You can't threaten anyone.

22:"I'm here aren't I?" Is not to be spoken from your mouth when asked why you're not doing your job.

23:You can't pay Cain to rub your feet while you work.

24:Don't look at me like that.

25:You cannot come within three feet of power tools.

26:Don't touch my desk.

27:Don't end your briefings with "In my pants"

28:Don't call Hughes just to talk then give the phone to me.

29: Don't kidnap Ed!

30:Don't attack your officers with water, just because they control fire.

31:Don't get shot

32:And finally, stop getting shot!

After reading it she looked up at him with anger blazing in her eyes. "Name one time I have done any thing on this list."

Mustang looked at her and sat down. "Don't even get me started..."

dani:Yes my lovlies I am back for 2010 a bit early and I come bearing a new series of insanity. this series is a bunch of one shots based off my list that i created while watching FMA one night. Enjoy!