You Keep Me Sane
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Season 3, Earshot. Buffy runs out of the cafeteria when the voices started getting louder and collapses in a cemetery while trying to escape other people's thoughts. Who knew that the last person she thought she could trust would be the one to help save her sanity?
Buffy was currently curled up on the ground of the cemetery, holding her head in pain as tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn't take it anymore. At first it had been fun and helpful to have telepathy but now she couldn't stand it. Her friends didn't even want to be around her. They were scared of her. She should've listened to Angel about great power having a really big down side. It was driving her crazy. She couldn't turn it off. Everyone's thoughts were all being pushed onto her so much that it hurt. She just wanted it to stop but it seemed to only get worse the more time passed. She didn't think because she couldn't. Too many thoughts. Too many voices. It didn't even register that she was whimpering like some poor hurt puppy or that she screamed out in agony not too long after that. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, the voices lowered their volume from yelling to whispering. In place of that there was a comforting hum. It wasn't the feeling she felt whenever vampires were around, it was the one she felt when Faith was around.
Faith had just gone out for a walk to relieve some tension. Becoming the enemy of the only friend she ever had wasn't exactly easy on her. She just didn't have a choice anymore. If she turned on the mayor now he would kill her without any trouble at all. Her idea to join the other side was done out of fear and rushing in without thinking; something she did a lot. She just didn't want to leave Sunnydale. She didn't want to leave Buffy. When that new Watcher had tried to take her away, she just couldn't take it anymore. It broke her. The mayor treated her like a daughter and let her do what she wanted as long as it didn't include helping the good side. He had given her protection so she wouldn't have to worry about leaving but when he asked her and Angelus to torture B, it had taken everything she had for that act. She knew the older slayer would make it out just fine though because she knew that Angel still had a soul. True, she wasn't an expert on spells or anything of the sort but she heard about what happened when Angel had lost his soul. He would've tortured or even killed Xander but all Angel had done with knock him out with a single punch and move on. Ya, she had taken a big chance on that but then again she probably could've just staked him and accidentally let Buffy go, saying Angel had double crossed her. Her thoughts were interrupted by a horrible screaming along with that certain hum that always alerted her to where the blond was. Without thinking, as usual, she ran toward the screaming, fearing the worst. She stopped to find her a wreck on the cemetery ground, crying her eyes out but the screaming had stopped and lowered to a whimper. Her heart twisted painfully at the sight. Before she knew it, she was kneeling beside her supposed enemy and putting a hand on her shoulder, "B."
She looked up to see her ex friend kneeling beside her with a grief filled expression. The familiar voice of the rogue slayer sounded oddly concerned and full of worry which caused her to be confused. Weren't they supposed to be enemies? Why was she worried? Maybe if she focused enough she could find out exactly what was on her mind.
Oh shit. Was she attacked by a demon or something? He said it was too early for that. He said she would be left alone. I swear if that basterd is the cause of all this I'm going to take him down to hell with me. Her lips were set into a frown. "Buffy, what happened?"
If she didn't have this painful annoying telepath problem she probably would've gaped at Faith's thoughts but then again, she wouldn't have heard them in the first place and neither of them would be there at all. Her head was pounding in pain she so tried to explain in few words as possible, "Demon…touched…cursed…hear…too many…thoughts…pain…won't stop." Those voices were started to get loud again but when she felt arms wrap around her, they started to lower again. She took a handful of the slayer's top and tried not to whimper but she couldn't help herself. The after effects of having all that seemed to be worse than the actually pain of dealing with those thoughts. It was strangely comforting to have Faith there for her and in weird sort of way, that she would take revenge on the demon responsible for her suffering.
Whoever the demon was that did this, they were gonna pay, with interest. I need to fix B before I go off on a demon killing spree…I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do that. Her hand rubbed Buffy's back in an attempt to calm her.
"Giles," her muffled voice told her.
The dark slayer couldn't help but smile. Duh, geez I'm stupid. "Ok, to Giles you go," she picked her up in her arms and started back toward the school.
Buffy had her arms around the other slayer's neck, holding on. "Thanks Faith."
"Don't mention it B," Faith answered. "Cuz seriously, it'll ruin my rep." She heard the blond slayer giggle a little as she quickened her pace.
The next thing Buffy saw were her friends all staring down at her.
I think she's waking up now. Willow thought, feeling worried.
Oz stared at her with no real expression as usual. She's ok.
Her eyes are opening. Xander thought.
Oh thank god! "You alright," Giles asked.
I'm cold. Cordelia spoke, not really caring about anything. "I told them not to move you. They probably severed your spinal cord."
"I'm ok." Buffy sat up.
"Buffy..." Giles started, still extremely worried.
"No really. I'm ok." She had more important things to worry about. "Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria."
"See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew." Xander commented.
Cordelia hit him on the arm, "Xander."
"I mean, what the hell's a Mulligan?" He went on.
Buffy ignored him. "Someone was thinking about it. They thought 'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.' I have to find them."
Giles helped her up. "Well, did you, uh, recognize a voice?"
"No." There was so many voices, it amazed her she had been able to even pick that thought out before she had ran out of there.
"Boy or girl?" Willow asked.
"I don't know. I mean, it was hardly human. It was full of so much anger and pain." She started to walk away from them when the cacophony of their thoughts begins to intrude again, causing her to stumble back. God, without Faith there, she was probably going to lose it again.
"Buffy," Giles started again.
"No, I have to find them." She may be out of it at the moment but there was no way she was going to just sit and let someone commit murder.
"Yeah, I mean, who hasn't just idly thought about taking out the whole place with a semi-automatic?" Xander said, out of nowhere.
Everyone stared at him.
"I said idly." He said in defense.
"I know the difference. He... she... whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it." Then she started hearing their thoughts again.
She looks so tired.
How horrible.
I'm not getting any warmer.
I bet it was Hogan.
Who could it be?
She grabbed her head, "Shut up!... Uh, I'm sorry. I, it's just, can you guys not think so loud? Or, so much..."
"Buffy, you should go home. I'll take you home." Giles suggested.
"Yeah, ok, wha-No! Look, I need you guys to go back to the cafeteria. Make a list of everyone who's there. We have to find the killer before lunch tomorrow."
Willow reassured her, "We'll do it Buffy. A list of all the students."
Buffy started walking away, "Yeah. Nancy was there. She's scary. And, uh, oh teachers too. Mr. Beech, he thought something about getting rid of all the students."
"Come on." Giles helped her away and the group walks the other way.
"I can't shut it out Giles. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there's these strangers walking around in there. It's just a... Look at this, I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're really clamboring to be near me anyway. Even you."
"I'm sorry Buffy. It's hard for all of us. Wesley and I are, are looking for a way to help."
"I'll be okay right? I mean, even if you can't get rid of it?" She asked hopefully.
They reach the passenger side of Giles' car.
"You'll be fine. I promise." He stepped away from her to go to the driver's side. If it doesn't go away she'll go insane.
Buffy stopped dead in her tracks, shocked at Giles' thoughts. She really wished Faith was there with her now. On the way home she wondered if she should tell Giles about Faith and how it had helped her greatly to lower the volume of all the thoughts when she was around. Maybe the slayer connection was the key to the cure. No, she couldn't do that. He wouldn't believe how genuinely concerned Faith was concerning her well being. Plus, it wasn't like she had any method of locating or calling her.
That night she stood by her bedroom window, hating the fact that the range on her power had grown.
I should have just quit, no job is worth it. Look at him smiling, like he thinks I don't know about her. I'm going to tell him we're going to have a baby, Oh, I'm so happy! I can't believe we're getting away with this. One more drink then I'll...
Buffy closed the window and climbed into bed. The thoughts blended into one long, rambling, incoherent stream as she curls up under the covers and presses a pillow to her head. Even after she fell asleep and her mother had gone to bed after staying up to watch her for a while, she could still hear them and it caused her to toss and turn. Then, just like that afternoon, she stopped and the voices began to slowly fade away. It was such a sudden change that she woke up, blinking away her sleep as she heard her window open. She didn't need to ask who it was. "Faith," she mumbled, sleepily.
Faith was standing by the window, inside the room, "Hey B." She went over and sat beside her as the slayer turned to face her. The frown returned upon seeing her tear streaked face. She pushed the stray strand of blond hair out of her eyes, "Feelin' better?"
She nodded. "Now that you're here," a small blush on her cheeks. "I mean, when you're here it goes away for some reason."
The dark slayer didn't say anything. She only wants me here because she doesn't hurt when I'm around. I don't know whether to be happy I have that ability or upset cuz that's the only reason she'll let me stay with her.
"I didn't mean it like that," the blond shocked her with her response but refused to meet her eyes. "I-It's not just that. I-I…Y-you're the only one who isn't afraid to be in the same room with me," she stammered a little.
Faith narrowed her eyes at that. Afraid? Those little…What kinda friends…Why I outta… She felt a hand grasp her own, stopping her train of thought. When she looked down, she saw Buffy's hand holding hers.
"You don't have to go and hurt them for me," she gathered up her courage to look her in the eye. "Just, be here for me, okay?"
She flashed Buffy a smile, "Alright B." Her smile turned into a smirk, "but if you ever change your mind, just let me know." She winked at her, causing her to smile but hit her playfully. Faith was just happy she wasn't so sad anymore. She knew she shouldn't be there. It would only hurt them both more when they had to hate each other but maybe just for tonight they could put that all aside.
Buffy awoke feeling rather refreshed and extremely comfortable. The volume of everyone's thoughts had been reduced to a low buzzing sound in her ears. She shifted slightly to find herself in someone's arms and she could hear the person's heart beating. Her eyes opened to see Faith asleep, leaning back against the wall, her arms wrapped around her to keep her held to her chest. A small blush appeared on her cheeks.
The younger slayer began to stir as she left out a small yawn while looking down at the blond. "As much as I'd like to stay, I kind of have to leave so you think you can let go of me now?"
She frowned in confusion until she noticed her own arms wrapped around the brunette's middle. Her blush grew as she let go and turned away.
The dark slayer caught it and smirked, "Or is it that you just want to keep me all to yourself?" She was only kidding, mostly anyway. It wasn't like her fellow slayer would ever feel like that toward her. Hell, she didn't even think B was attracted to girls, much less her but when she moved away looking embarrassed instead of hitting her like she always did when she joked too far, it kinda made her wonder. Faith pushed the thoughts out of her mind. Naw, it wasn't possible.
Suddenly, the older slayer went serious, "Faith, why did you change sides?"
Her smile disappeared and her expression became unreadable. She got up and made her way to the window. I-I can't… She couldn't say anything. It would only make things harder in the end.
"Faith, wait!"
She stood next to the window, back facing Buffy.
"I'm…sorry." She apologized. "Just, stay with me please? I promise not to bring it up again."
I'm sorry too B. Faith sighed and opened the window. "You know I can't." After that she was gone and the next time they say each other, they would be enemies because that was how things were supposed to be.
I had just watched the episode Earshot online and this idea popped up into my head. Sadly, no such scene happened but that's what fanfics are for. My first Buffy the Vampire Slayer fic but I think I did pretty good. I'm proud of this one. Anyway PLEASE REVIEW and tell me if it was any good or if it sucked.