Live, Learn, Forgive. Risk the Pain, it is your nature.
A dark haired girl walked through the woods a content expression on her face. It had taken her awhile to figure some crucial things out in life, yet for one so young it seemed so befitting of one so powerful. The air was cold around her form, but she enjoyed the snowy ground around her and the immense landscape that made her feel so…insignificant.
It amazed her how people just waltzed into her life and took her broken self and sewed it back together again. The first was her dotting father who taught her that she could 'remake' herself. The young girl of seven, killed her own mother by means of self defense. She was afraid of her mother taking her life so it she wouldn't seem so cruel leaving her young daughter alone. Yet without any intent, malicious or otherwise, the young girl protected herself by blowing her mother to smithereens. "But I killed my own mommy…because she tried to kill me! I didn't want to die!"
"-Would you like to become my child?" Those words…those words, gave her a small baby step to becoming a child again. To become what she used to be, but didn't have the chance to revel in it. The first words that made her feel…loved.
"You should understand…that you have no other master besides yourself." Nobody owned her. She was her own master, she could manage herself. No-one would ever abandon her because there was no-one to abandon her. She could never abandon herself.
No! No! No! No! Can I also remake myself? Will I be able to become…someone I can be proud of?!
She was so young…so torn. Broken beyond belief, yet…She wanted to take up her shredded pieces and make herself, something new. Someone that she could say that she was proud of.
"I think that facing your own ugliness and trying to change yourself---turning your scars into strengths…Is very strong and beautiful." For the first time in a long time, someone thought of her. Some-one believed in her. It was a glorious feeling that she could now only enjoy as at the time she was overthrown by grief.
I've realized there are more important things then pride.
"You're the one who insisted on following me. So it would be pretty damn dumb of you to die like this. Besides…you still haven't made me smile like you said you would." Oh, she thought she was dreaming those words. Yet they where said to her, and only enforced when she woke up. Here someone wanted her to fulfill something, a promise she had made that was grudgingly accepted. Acceptance…the need for…the want for.
I respect you for your suffering, after choosing such a burdensome path. But someday…I want you to forgive yourself, if just a little bit.
"When I couldn't help but feel cold and dark and alone…her simple words filled me with hope." The girl had such a powerful mouth. Her words alone could bring people back to life, giving them one of the things they needed to survive. Hope.
"It's because your hand on my face was so warm. It was warm like sun-shine."
I couldn't reach her. I couldn't read the eyes and hands that seek help…
The girl wasn't a god. She her words wouldn't save everyone. It hurt…it hurt her so much that her own wounds stopped bothering her after she had came to the realization that she couldn't save her. Yet…she managed to give someone something that they needed. That they wanted. Finally someone that said to them 'No. I am not afraid or disgusted by you.' Acceptance. Most of all…kindness.
Simply the girl had figured out what it meant to live.
Learning to forgive yourself because you made a mistake.
In times when all looked dark trying to find someway to believe in yourself.
Valiant if not stupid, acts of kindness.
Ending didn't mean to finish. It simply means to begin again.
Live. That is what she learned. To live. All these people, all of these lessons, had helped her learn the most basic of all things. To truly experience life, the first thing you must do is live. And she couldn't have learnt in a better way.
"Hey! Stupid Chick! Do you know where the hell we are?"
"Oh Al, don't be so mean to Rahzel!"
"Shut up you two! I know exactly where I'm going!"
"Then why is where you're going not on the map?!" Alzeid remarked back a scathing look on his face.
"Because, because…it's not a place that's on the map! I know exactly where I'm going! Besides Alzeid…you have the map. You're the one that got us lost!"
"…." Alzeid rolled his eyes and scowled.
Rahzel smiled warmly. Yup, she lived all right. "WATCH WHERE YOU PUT YOUR HANDS BARQUE-HEAT!"
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Author's note- Well, that was a fun character insight piece. As you may have noticed I was using plenty of quotes from the mangas. Yes, I was using them as a crutch because it was hard not to for me. I just wanted this to be strictly insightful, and not romance because I'll end up doing that if precautionary measures aren't made! It's rather short, I'm sorry. Also pronouns are used at the beginning intentionality. That piece of dialog was quite fun to write! Just a little treat for something a bit angsty. Thank you for reading.
Disclaimer-I do not own Dazzle, Minari Endoh does. I also do not own Buffy the Vampire slayer as the title is a quote from it.