Title: The Woes of an Older Brother
Fandom: D. Gray-Man
Characters: Lenalee Lee and Komui Lee
Rated: K
Word Count: 1,000
Summary: It's one thing taking care of a six year old, it's another explaining to said six year old why two men can't have children together.
It starts with a few, simple words:
"They'll make pretty babies together."
Then Komui is choking on his tea in the middle of the park and looking at his baby sister with all the disturbed, horrified feelings only an older brother in this situation can muster. She's only six, so it's obvious she can't understand; maybe for now she could just…stay ignorant to the fact that two men can't have babies together, regardless of how pretty they are.
"Don't you think so, Brother?" She asks, smiling up at him – and oh those innocent amethyst eyes and that big smile and – Christ, as a man of science he can't leave that be. He can't have Lenalee growing up thinking that's possible.
"Well," he starts, wondering how to tackle the upcoming conversation, because he really never imagined he'd have to do anything like this. After their parents died, he quickly assumed all responsibilities over his sister, and he realized that at some point they'd have to have 'the talk'; certainly not now, though. "They can't."
"What?" She asks, eyebrows pulling together. "Why not!" She grabs onto his sleeve and pulls hard, making him bend over in the most uncomfortable position. He can't tell if it's anger, confusion, or sadness in her eyes – it might be a bit of all three. "Are they sick? Is there something wrong with them?"
"No, no – it's not that," he tells her, trying to make his voice soothing and not patronizing – it's hard to differentiate when talking to a child, but Lenalee picks up on it so well that it's scary. "But only women can have babies."
"But that's not fair!" She whines, letting go of his sleeve. Letting out a small sigh, he crouches down into a squat to talk with her at eyelevel. "You do science. Make them have babies!" He holds back his chuckle at 'you do science,' a six year old's way of calling him a scientist. He situates himself to sit Indian-style on the ground and pulls her into his lap. She looks at him, expectant and a bit demanding – looking very much like their mother used to when trying to get him to do something.
"It's not that simple, Lenalee," he explains, shaking his head. "Men don't have all the right parts to make a baby. You need a woman so the baby has a place to grow." And he's really trying, really, to make it simple enough and to a point where a six year old can understand. As much as he wants to go into the technical aspect of it all, she'd never get it.
"But why can't the baby grow inside the man?"
He slaps a hand to his face and lets out a small distressed noise. "Because there are certain parts in a woman where the baby grows and certain ways it gets nutrients; men don't have those parts. And even with science, we can't give them to them. Men just weren't made to have babies on their own."
"But why not!" She cries, slamming her fists down on his leg – the one she's not sitting on. He closes his eyes and groans a bit. She might be small, but that doesn't mean she isn't strong for a six year old. Tears spill down the sides of her eyes and she turns in his lap, facing him completely. "It's not fair, it's not fair! What if they wanna have babies and they can't?"
"Well there are other options," he explains to her, patting the dark green hair down on her head. "They could adopt a baby."
She sniffs a bit. "Adopt?"
"Yeah. And then they could have all the babies they want."
"Well," she smiles. "Okay. I'll go tell them."
"Lenalee, please. Let them enjoy the park."
"No, no – they have to know they can have babies if they want!" She exclaims, climbing off his lap and running towards the two men on the park bench. They're just kind of sitting there, talking amiably and looking at nothing in particular. Lenalee bounds towards them and plops down on the bench next to them. Walking closer, he hears her say, "I have good news for you both!" She's so, so cute. Why is she so cute? She has to be the most adorable baby sister in all the world.
Amusement evident on their faces, one of them asks, "Oh yeah? What is it?"
"You can adopt! Isn't that good? Now you can have a million babies!"
The one who didn't speak looks a bit horrified and perhaps a bit confused, while the one who spoke just laughs at her. "That is good. But wow, a million babies. Huan, up to the challenge?" Huan looks at the other man as if he's crazy, then shakes his head, but says nothing.
"I am really sorry about my little sister," he says, nearing them and picking Lenalee up into his arms. She turns a bit in his grip and gives him a look while folding her arms.
"It's no problem at all," says the talkative one. "She's adorable." She turns and smiles at the man as if to say, 'Of course I am! Thank you for noticing!'
Bowing a little, Komui smiles at them and says, "Have a nice afternoon," while keeping Lenalee from saying anything else and embarrassing him more. It's cute for her to say those things, but taking responsibility for said things is something he's not too keen on doing. He's still technically a teenager. He supposes he can cut himself some slack.
"So Brother, since I'm a girl, does that mean I can have a million babies grow in my stomach?"
He almost trips on air.
I have one thing to say to people who write Mpreg. It isn't possible. I'm sorry if you write it or whatever, and it offends you that I think so lowly of it, but I couldn't care any less. Men do not have ovaries, or a uterus or a VAGINA, so no. They cannot have children together. The amount of fics with Allen pregnant kind of disturbs me, and I think it would disturb him as well, so keep that in mind when writing fics. Please.