A/N: Well, looks like we're back! DemiGoddess007 and I decided to start this sequel to Smoky Passion just to get our creative juices flowing.

Most of this crack-fic will be in 3rd person perspective, but this chapter is in Sub-Zero's POV.

Warning: This story will contain serious OOC-ness, and controversial humor of all kinds. Most of the insanity is tied to the events from the first story. That having been said, don't even think about telling me that Sub-Zero (Bi-Han) is OOC, because I already know. He's like that for a reason. Also, you'll only understand this story if you've read Smoky Passion.

Anyway, enjoy!

(Sub-Zero's POV)

It's been like a month and a half since Smoke got married and left with his wife to Puerto Rico. Shit has been downright boring here in the Lin Kuei temple since then, and my little brother was no fun, man. He was always in his room, doing Elder Gods know what. Probably jerking off to carrot porn or something, I dunno...

But that was when I remembered what Smoke and his girl did; they'd both jinxed Kuai Liang and Aya into being the next married couple. Kuai Liang, I know, can't handle public embarrassment, so it made sense to me now. That's his double-standard, though: he can diss you, but he sure the hell can't take it.

I remembered going off on my lil' bro about his shitty mood a week ago, since that motherfucker had gotten so butthurt that I had to take his damn food to his room. Like, shouldn't this fool be happy that Aya caught the bouquet, even if it was all done on purpose? I know I'm not ready to marry Pilar, yet... But that's another story. I just don't get my little brother sometimes...

The funny part about all of this is how Tundra always makes fun of me when I act up. Like, he'll flat-out say that I'm gay and all that shit. But the joke's on him... What he's pissed about...

It's fucking stupid and makes him look gay. I'm too much of a badass to get my booty all hurt over something like that...

Because I'm Bi-Han, bitch! Tundra ain't about that life! He needs to step his game up and be like his big, sexy bro, yo!

Anyway, I was just hanging out in one of the lounges, watching twerk videos on my iPad. I was bored and didn't feel like staying in my room. Besides, no one was really around, and the Grandmaster was sleeping since it was still early in the morning. In fact, I think that I was the only one awake.

"The fuck are you doing up so early, man?"

...Or not.

I looked up and noticed Scorpion leaning against the wall, giving me a very confused look. I didn't know why he was looking at me like that... It wasn't like I was naked or anything...

Not that I'd give a shit, of course. Gotta show these other guys what true sexiness is, anyway.

"I'm not tired. Then again, you're up too," I answered. Scorpion rolled his eyes and sat on the couch in front of me.

"So, I heard some news about Tundra, bro," he said with a laugh.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. When the fuck did my brother leave, and where the hell did he go?

"He's been acting weird, man," I said.

Scorpion smirked. "No shit. I think it's safe to call him a faggot now, since it's clear that he's taken your place in the basic bitch department."

I had to laugh at that. My dude had a point. "Naw, man. What happened? He's not in his room, is he?"

"Hell no! I just got off the phone with Mileena, and from what she's saying, it seems that Kuai Liang finally grew a pair and proposed to Aya."

WHAT!?

My eyes must have been wide, because Hanzo started laughing at me. Shit, if I had seen the look on my sexy face, I'd laugh too.

"Quit lyin'! He went to Edenia? When!?"

Scorpion smiled, tracing his finger along the designs sewn onto the upholstery. "Nigga, he's been there since yesterday. Knowing him, he won't be in Earthrealm for a while..."

Well, shit. "Hey, gotta get some punani somehow. I'm surprised his nuts didn't shrivel up," I remarked.

Scorpion fell off of the couch, laughing at the honesty of my statement. We both knew that Tundra had been itching to get some from Aya, so it made perfect sense that he'd disappear for a few days.

"Man problems, no doubt," Scorpion said, catching his breath. He got up from the floor, dusting off his plaid pajama pants as he sat back down on the couch.

My lips formed a thin line. Us men had too many issues, and women always thought they had problems. Like, do they have to worry about sitting on their nuts like we do? Nope.

Anyway, the video I was watching caught my attention. It was a music video – a very cheap one, at that. Thick, dingy ass women were shaking their sweaty asses around in rapid circles to hip-hop music, leaning against shopping carts at Walmart. Scorpion caught wind of what I was watching, and he started laughing his ass off.

"Man, you trying to learn how to twerk?! Damn, man... You can get the gay card back," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "How? I'm a man, you know. It's only natural for me to want to see bitches shaking that ass for the camera, anyway."

"That ain't what I'm talking about, Bi-Han."

The fuck?

I turned my iPad off before this mofo could drill into me about this shit. I don't even know why Scorpion was talking, anyway! Like he hasn't ever watched stuff like this on YouTube!

"What are you implying, then? I can twerk better than these basic bitches, anyway. It doesn't mean I'm gay, though..."

Scorpion snorted. "Like I'm gonna believe that one. It's a good thing you've been on those meds, though. This is the longest your crazy ass has been stable, and I'm fuckin' glad."

Ugh... This nigga didn't even have to remind me about my bipolar disorder. I ain't crazy! Sure, I wear bright colored thongs and makeup, but I ain't gay! Let another man come near me with that shit and it's a wrap!

"Fuck yo couch, Hanzo."

Scorpion laughed again. "Aight."

What he did next killed me. He blasted some slow R&B music on his phone and proceeded to hump the couch! Like, what the fuck, man!?

"Hanzo!" I cried. "I wasn't fucking serious!"

Scorpion turned the music off and sat back down, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "You told me to fuck my couch, so I did."

"Whatever, man. I'm hungry."

Mess hall was opening in the next 5 minutes, and the breakfast menu was gonna be badass. Cyrax had said that we were having a country breakfast, and I was looking forward to it. Matter of fact, that's probably why I was up.

Scorpion sniffed the air and smiled as he inhaled the scent of scrambled eggs and bacon. He stood up and gave me that look.

"Let's go eat, man. We can discuss the plan to bully your brother during breakfast."

I smiled, getting up as well. Grabbing my iPad, I looked at my friend. "Aight, let's go."

A/N: I feel sorry for Tundra now... Lol. R&R welcome!