This is 100% a parody. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters.
Toastiro looked around the pantry, stretched, shot a glare at the whole bread in the corner, and went outside. The first thing he saw was Ranmato, the cursed lazy tomato. No sooner than she noticed him Gin rolled over out of the liquor cabinet, crashing into Ranmato. Toastiro kept going, ignoring the high pitched 'ohs!' Ranmato was making. She never could refuse a drink.
Ichigo waved at him from the open fridge. The stupid strawberry was far too cheerful. From his position on the floor he could barely see Momoo waved at him from near Ichigo. He waved back, and wondered absently which cow had the privilege of bringing her carton into existence.
As he made his way to the table he ran into other people he knew. Frukia from the freezer with her pina colada flavor that always seemed to disappear, her older brother Bychocula, the chocolate ice cream cones that also lived there, Head Food Captain Yamapeno, the jalapeno on the counter, and finally made it to the table.
There Aizening and his Espicea were already there, sitting in their rack. Toastiro glared at them and pulled out his zanfoodough. "Rain over the Frosted Flakes, Tonymaru!" He yelled. The bowl on the table filled with his Bankai, cereal, and Momoo hopped over, filling the cereal bowl with her vital essence. He was laying on the plate just in time for Karin to come downstairs, eat breakfast, and run outside before she was late for soccer practice.
"Thanks for breakfast Yuzu!" She called on her way out. Yuzu, in the meantime, was wondering how in the world some of her fruit had been suspiciously splattered in the bathroom with things like oregano, basil, thyme, and other spices splattered across them. And since when did they ever eat Frosted Flakes?