From Tom to Hermonie: "The only thing you don't know is how stupid you really are."
Mean-Spirited Joke:
From Tom to Hermonie: "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that frumpy little head of yours, Granger, but then I remember that I don't care."
Over-compensate Joke:
From Hermonie to Tom: "You know, normal men just buy brooms."
From Tom to Hermonie: "What are you going on about, now?"
From Hermonie to Tom: "Well with a snake the size of Nagini, you've GOT to be over-compensating for something."
Drunken Joke:
From Hermonie to Tom: "You know what's so good about you right now?"
From Tom to Hermonie: "I really don't care."
From Hermonie to Tom: "I'm really drunk, you're really hot, AND you're a bad boy who's holding my hair back."
From Tom to Hermonie: "I still don't care, Granger."
From Hermonie to Tom: "What's good about me right now?"
From Tom to Hermonie: "You're really drunk, you're hair's a mess, AND you're throwing up in the john, what's not to like?"
Muggle Joke:
From Hermonie to Tom: "This darned thing won't work!"
From Tom to Hermonie: "Must be muggle made."
PureBlood Joke:
From Tom to Hermonie: "It's disgusting, a wizard actually marrying a muggle woman."
From Hermonie to Tom: "What's disgusting is marrying your relative."
From Tom to Hermonie: "DISTANT relative!"
From Hermonie to Tom: "STILL incest!"
PureBlood Joke: 2 From Tom to Hermonie: "This makes absolutly no sense!"
From Hermonie to Tom: "Must be wizard made."
Foot Joke:
From Hermonie to Tom: "Tom, you're like a foot."
From Tom to Hermonie: "Excuse me?"
From Hermonie to Tom: "The foot is an amazing appendage. It supports our weight day after day, going the path we wish to go no matter how rocky and bedeviled it is; yet they are also the most tender. So sensitive a single feather's stroke will tickle, and a single needle would hurt; and yet nobody pays it any mind, for it is just a foot."
Hair Joke:
From Tom to Hermonie: "When I first saw you it was that frightening hair that stood out on you."
From Hermonie to Tom: "You were scared of my hair?" (said sarcastically)
From Tom to Hermonie: "I had thought it was a creature attempting to eat your head."
Hair Joke: Pt 2 From Hermonie to Tom: "What, so you were going to kill me to put me out of my misery, then?"
From Tom to Hermonie: "Merlin, no! I was only trying to keep it from eating dirty meat."
From Hermonie to Tom: "So what you're saying is that I'm a mudblood, real creative."
Mudblood Joke:
From Tom to Hermonie: "There is one good thing about a mudblood, they're aot of fun to splash in."
Potions Joke:
From Hermonie to Voldermort: "I wonder what you'd look like without all that makeup on."
From Voldermort to Hermonie: "I wear no makeup! This is how I was made to look!"
From Hermonie to Voldermort: "I don't care what you read on the back of the potion bottle, you've always got to re-take after six months or the new bits start showing through."
Panty Joke:
From Hermonie to Tom: "Can you look in my panty for the cream, please?"
From Tom to Hermonie: "I'd be happy to, lay down on the table."
From Hermonie to Tom: "I meant pantry!"
From Tom to Hermonie: "I'd prefer the former."
Slythern Fact:
Slythern's run from battle because Slytherns are aware of the danger, for it is best to always over-estimate your enemy.
Griffendor Fact:
Griffendor's stand true in combat not because they know they'll win, but because they know they've got to try.
Ravenclaw Fact:
Racenclaw's don't aspire to know anything about everything, but everything about anything.
Huffelpuff Fact:
Huffelpuff's loyalty is not given out of aquaintence, but out of a solid belief a Huffelpuff makes.