Saving Myself

Chapter One

Unwanted Protector

Natsuki POV

She stands with her head held high, her tea brewing before her on her desk as she listens with that calm smile as her fellow council members argue. Such pride and unwavering patience made her look like a role model, and as if that didn't attract enough attention for her, most of the school had a crush on her for her beauty and kindness alone.

Everyone accept for me of course.

I glared through the crack of the open door at her, noting how she leaned back in her chair and gazed across the room without paying any real attention. Her mind was always somewhere else it seemed…

Wait, what am I doing?! I hate her! I loathe her! And the reason for it reeks of irony…

As though sensing my angered thoughts towards her, her crimson eyes turned in my direction and locked with my own. Immediately her mouth curved into an actual smile, a smile of pure delight.

"Why Natsuki, why don't you come in instead of looking through that door. You look like you have something to hide, staring at me like that."

I felt my face go red with embarrassment and anger. "W-what?" I gasped as I threw the door open and stormed in. "I was… uhhh…" I saw the clock hanging above her head on the wall behind her and grinned. "I was just checking the time."

Her smile faded a little and a flash of emotion passed over her features. It was too fast for me to recognise, but I was sure it was disappointment.

"Well you took your time, didn't you? Do you have anything to say for that?"

Haruka was furious whenever I was late, even it if it was only by seconds. However, today I had been ten minutes late due to running into two fellow friends of mine, Mikoto and Mai. Despite how annoying they were, always cornering me and began talking non stop, they were still my friends. But today I had not been in the mood, knowing that I would have to face the wrath of the beast Haruka. It seemed fate enjoyed watching our little arguments though, it seemed, for she was already on my back.

"I'm sorry, but I-"

"No excuses!" she roared, pointing to a seat.

"You asked me to say something."

"Jut sit!" she growled, her finger jabbing at the chair again.

With a growl, I complied and sank into the seat, three chairs away from the nearest company. I liked being on my own, which was another reason why I couldn't stand Shizuru. She was staring at me already, I could feel it. She was always doing it, her eyes never leaving me whenever I was near. The vein in my neck felt like it would explode and I turned to her to see her smiling again.

Why was she always smiling at me?

Once the meeting was over I hurried to my room to change. It wasn't mine alone though. I stayed with Mikoto and Mai and somehow survived. I supposed it was the good food Mai cooked, and the peaceful conversations I could share with her. Mikoto was the entertainment, as cruel as it sounded. She also liked to buy things for Mai to use in her dishes, and she would bring me mayonnaise. Precious mayonnaise…

The thought made my mouth water as I changed and as though in a trance I headed to the fridge. It may not sound appetising to someone with normal taste buds, but a bowel of the stuff was all I needed for lunch.

With my stomach full and no more lessons remaining for the day, I headed out into the wilderness of the school grounds with the wild animals. They were everywhere, some making out, some frolicking through the fields. Many of them gave me lingering looks as I was known as the Ice Queen, or whatever they called me. I didn't care. The only stare that sent pricks up my spine was Shizuru's.

As though expecting her to be behind me with those blood coloured eyes, I turned. She wasn't there, and I pat the beck of my neck nervously. Was I getting paranoid?

"Damn it, pull yourself together!" I muttered to myself, heading towards the forest, my favourite part of the school. It led to the mountains and the lake, the most serene areas I could get to where no one would follow. No one but her.

I supposed I should tell you why I hate her so much, right? Why I have to look over my shoulder and constantly hide from her stare? The truth is… she is my saviour. She always has been, and still is, and I hate the fact.

During my first months back here at school I was shaken up by my mother's death. She found me crying in the library at one time and comforted me. Of course, the motherly touch of someone was not what I needed, so I ran. The next time she saved me from myself was when I was choking at the lunch tables. She performed the hymnlike on me and dislodged the mayonnaise soaked sausage (leave my eating habits alone!). Everyone had cheered, but the embarrassment was too much for me and I ran, again.

I was my own protector. My personality demanded it. I hated it when people fought for me, even if they did save my life. A small part of me wished sometimes that I wasn't so cold and I could thank her, but my pride was too much.

Amongst the trees, I felt free, like I could scream and no one would have to hear me. It was calming, being alone like this, and I could finally smile. I decided to head to the lake and get some fresh air. As I had expected, Haruka had a lot to say like usual, and the meeting had gone on for over the usual hour. I thought my teeth were going to break as I ground them together the entire time. Both the blonde and the brunette were getting to me, and I was glad to be rid of their presence.

The lake was not far, and I enjoyed the walk. Despite people thinking that I was some sort of psychopath whom would probably strangle a kitten, I had a soft spot for animals, especially the cuddly fluffy ones. I listened to them as I walked and it calmed my aching head from the sound of yelling council members, namely Haruka.

The lake worked a charm, ridding me of the final pounds of a headache. I sat at the edge and stared onto the shining surface, letting all of my emotions float away. As I had suspected, there was no one here. Only the trees surrounded me, breaking apart so the lake could stretch out to the mountains. It gathered speed as it ran towards the slopes, and despite the danger, I felt like I needed a rush.

Adrenaline was like a second nature to me. It was an addiction, an obsession, thus was my fetish for motor bikes. Seeing as my precious bike wasn't here with me, I decided that the only other was to get my mind off of everything was to go for a swim near the rapids. I wouldn't go too far of course, and I was an expert swimmer. If anything went wrong, I would save myself.

I stripped off into my underwear, my eyes peering around for anyone who might have decided to come down to the lake for some peace and quiet as well. So far, there was no one, so I eased into the water and sank down beneath the surface to wash away the filth of the day. The water was cold and I surfaced to feel the warm sun on my face again. Droplets of water cascaded down my body, cooling me instantly. I wiped my eyes free. The beginning of the rapids was not far, and I was in a hurry to feel that rush before Mai expected me back for dinner.

That's right, she treated me like a member of the family. She was the mother, I was the teenager, and Mikoto was the pet.

I swam through the water, my arms ripping through like it was nothing. I took extra swimming lessons when I was a little girl because I enjoyed it so much. My mother had of course been delighted to pay for them, and I could remember her face when I told her that I wanted to go on a motor bike one day. Of course, she forgot about it seeing as I was ten, but the wish never left me.

Remembering her was like piercing myself with a knife. I swore to myself and bowed my head down into the water. Just concentrate on swimming, I thought. This is your time, so don't ruin it with the past.

I kicked hard with my legs and kept my mind on every stroke. It worked well enough that I completely forgot about the council meeting, Haruka's burning anger for my lateness, and even Shizuru.

Then I felt it. The tug. My eyes lifted and glistened with excitement as I saw the river begin to slide down a small hill and swerve into the darkness of the forest. This is where the dash began.

I rested my feet into the pebbles at the bottom of the lake and pushed off. My body sped through the water and was caught in the rapids. I had done this before, of course, so I directed my body in the centre away from the rocks and waited for the branch that lied in the forest. When I reached it I would grab on and hoist myself on as usual and I would be safe, laughing myself to teras in the tree at the fun of it all.

So maybe I sound a little crazy, but what else do you do when you need to desperately get things out of your head? People have their own ways of dealing with it: Self harm, social sites, eating. My cure was adventure. Speedy adventure.

I slipped under the cooled shadows of the trees. The water raged around me and I stayed flat and straight, letting it carry me on its back. My blood tingled and coursed through me, my heart thudding against my chest. The fear only heightened my senses and made it more amazing, but like good things… it had to come to an end.

I hoisted my body up with a powerful push from the cobbled ground beneath me and reached up at the same point, my fingers searching for the branch that would pull me out. The feeling of it was so familiar that I was shocked when I grasped at nothing but air.

The branch was gone.

"Shit!" I swore before my body fell beneath the water. Bubbles exploded around me and I was blinded. Struggling to find the edge of the river, my hands reached out desperately, finding nothing but air again. I strove out for the rocks, but they were too slick to hold onto. My body was thrown out of its position and left me to be pulled about like a rag doll. I was almost relieved to lose all senses as my head struck the bottom.

I was floating without feeling, the water carrying me into the calmer depths. I wasn't sure where I was, but the rapids were slowing. I had no strength to move though, so I was stuck beneath the surface.

So this is it, I thought, opening my eyes a crack to get a last glimpse at the world that was nothing but muddy water. What a pathetic way to die. But at least I had fun beforehand. Those rapids were… really… something…

My thoughts began to break down as darkness started to engulf me. I hadn't had air for over a minute at least, and my body couldn't take it anymore. I felt my chest aching so badly I thought for a moment I had been injured. My muscles were lifeless as though my limbs were made of spaghetti.

Did I regret anything?

No.

But I didn't count on being rescued either.

Something broke through the surface and appeared before me in flash of bubbles as they disturbed the lake. I felt that familiar feeling inside as my pride was threatened.

No, I can get myself out of this, I thought, tyring to push them away. Of course, I could do nothing in this sate, and I was caught tightly around the middle. Whoever it was, they were strong. In little effort we were both above the surface, but I knew no more. My consciousness gave one final flicker as I stared into red orbs, then it was gone.

**********

"Natsuki…"

The voice echoed in my mind.

"Natsuki… can you hear me?"

I tried to reply, but it was little more than a croak. I couldn't move an inch. Someone was slapping me in the face. I felt like slapping them back and raised my hand a little as my strength returned. I could hear them better now.

"If you don't wake up, I'll have no choice but to give you mouth-to-mouth, Natsuki…"

Oh God no!

I jerked to life, my strength retuning in a heart beat. Above me was… no, it couldn't be… "Shizuru?"

She gave me that smile that could mean so many things. "Well, well, looks like I don't get to after all."

It wasn't what she said exactly, but all of a sudden the water I had taken in gushed out. I coughed it directly at her face (Trust me, it wasn't actually intentional), but she swiftly and gracefully flipped me onto the side and it all soaked out into the grass leaving her completely dry.

"That's it Natsuki. Get it all out of your system."

I dug my nails into the grass as I vomited up the last few litres of the lake. "I'd rather it if you got out of my system."

"What?"

My eyes widened as I realised what I had said sounded like. "That… didn't come out right."

A smile crossed over Shizuru's face. That smile! That annoying little smile! "Sure, sure, Natsuki."

Her sarcasm annoyed me even more and I inched away from her on the grass, aware that I probably moved like a half drowned turtle. Unfortunately my weakness from my little stunt meant I was slow as well, and Shizuru caught my arm easily.

"I don't think so, Natsuki. You've swallowed a lot of water. I think it's time to get you to the nurse."

I ground my teeth and tried to break free from her. Why did she have to save me yet again? For once, couldn't it at least be someone else? Why was it constantly her diving into things and rescuing me? I opened my mouth to let her know just what I thought of her when she lifted me up into her arms and started to carry me like a groom carrying his new wife.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?" I asked, the strength of my voice well and truly restored.

"You can't possible be expected to walk after almost drowning like that, Natsuki."

"Put me down, you ogre!"

"Now that's not a very nice thing to call your saviour."

Her sweet voice wasn't doing her any favours against my wrath, and she just put a bullet in her own head by calling herself my saviour. "Don't you dare bring up all of those times! I don't need your help! You just dive in there and pretend to be a hero when I don't even need your help!"

Shizuru didn't even look hurt. She just kept on grinning. "You would have drowned if I hadn't pulled you out of those rapids. Are you saying you would rather die than be saved, Natsuki?"

Finally, she was getting it. "Yes! That is exactly what I am saying!"

"Well… I would never let that happen to a student, let alone you, Natsuki."

I didn't even want to know what that meant. "Just put me down," I groaned.

"Not a chance."

So that was how it was. She carried me through the forest in her arms with me screaming and swearing the entire way. I was dreading being seen by everyone in the school. My face went red with embarrassment just thinking about it.

"Shizuru, I feel fine. Can you put me down now?"

She glanced down at me and shook her head. "I don't think so. You look terrible."

"That's because you are holding me in a totally embarrassing way! I don't need your help! I have legs!"

"Uh… Natsuki?"

That voice was so familiar that it struck me like a hammer. I turned with stricken eyes to see Mai standing just outside of the school doors, her eyes wide and staring.

"It isn't what it looks like!" I said quickly. "I'm trying to get her to put me down, but she won't listen!"

"Now, now, Natsuki. Looks like I'm not the only one you had worried," Shizuru said, greeting Mai with a surprisingly formal bow. "Good evening, Mai."

"G-good evening," Mai stumbled. "I was just coming to look for you, Natsuki, but… well… did something happen?"

I tried to answer, but Shizuru was faster. "Natsuki here was drowning in the rapids near the forest and I saved her life. Now she is too weak to make it to the nurses office on her own, so I am taking the liberty of delivering her there myself."

Mai could see the plead in my eyes and tried to rescue me from my own annoying saviour. "Umm, well, maybe I could take her off of your hands. I mean, you look pretty tired, Shizuru."

The woman only laughed. "I feel fine, Mai, thank you. Anyway, I don't think you could carry Natsuki on your own like this."

A new flame of anger roared to life inside of me. "What the hell does that mean?"

"Language, Natsuki," Shizuru answered simply, shaking her head. "Such inappropriate language you have."

Mai smiled apologetically and hurried off to find the cat-girl, Mikoto, so my disdain. Shizuru and I headed into the first hall and my eyes immediately searched for anyone. Luckily it seemed they were all eating dinner. Then a bell rung, and my heart gave a painful jolt.

It was lunchtime!

Students broke out into the hall, heading everywhere they saw fit to enjoy their lunch. Of course, many of them rathered the peaceful fields and headed straight towards me and Shizuru.

I swear I died and had an out of body experience.

Every pair of eyes in the hall stared right at me, and all voices ended and turned to giggles. Many boys went red and turned away having their dreams of Shizuru crushed, but others were delighted at the 'girl with a girl' event. Many of the female students whispered, 'How cute,' or 'I never thought they were like that.'

Shizuru walked past them all slowly, deliberately letting many of them pass before us and wasting time. I closed my eyes and pretended to be unconscious so I wouldn't have to look, but I could feel their stares and it was enough to make me feel sick to the stomach.

Damn you, Shizuru!

By the time we reached the nurse, Yhoko, lunch break was almost over and half of the school had seen me in Shizuru's arms. I had been mortally wounded and refused to show my face again.

"Here we are, Natsuki."

I opened my eyes a crack to see the nurse's office door right in front of me, and tried again to leap out of Shizuru's arms. Still my strength was sapped and I ended up on my backside.

"So hasty." Shizuru gathered me up again and pushed her way through the door with her back. I tried again to escape her clutches, but she held me still and turned so I was forced to face not only Yhoko, but Midori.

Needless to say, she found it hilarious. The woman was in hysterics, and I could have been mortally wounded. Yhoko took a much more serious approach and helped me to a free bed as Shizuru tried to explain everything to Midori whom was going red trying not to lose it again.

As I rested against the sheets and the two nurses tried to make sense out of Shizuru whom seemed to be busy asking if I was okay, I found myself seething in so much anger that a tear ran down my cheek. Immediately, I moved onto my side away from them. I didn't want to be seen as a weak person again like I had been over the past few weeks of being saved by Shizuru. I needed time by myself.

I needed to get away from her.