A/N: Potential spoilers for a future episode! You've been warned! So if you are still with me, this is in referenced to the soon to air 7.10 episode where Hotch is supposed to get a romance with a woman named "Beth". The idea for this story evolved from a discussion on Twitter where I happened to say, "Wouldn't it be interesting if she turned out to be a serial killer?" Little did I know at the time that NCIS would actually do that on an episode that recently aired! Because seriously, Hotch + Beth = BOTCH, like in "botched". Did no one think of doing the name pairing thing before they named the character? This is a, I believe the term is "crack fic" so don't take it too seriously. It has some humor, romance, angst, bit of a mish mash. If you think this is a little out there, you should have been in some of those discussions on Twitter. There is an even crack-ier fic being planned! So enjoy this as it's meant to be enjoyed, a non-serious piece. It'll only be about 3-4 parts.

It was Emily Prentiss' opinion that Aaron Hotchner was the dumbest jackass that ever walked the planet and when this was all over, he'd be lucky if she didn't kick his ass ten ways to Sunday.

She had tried to tell him there was something off about his new girlfriend, Beth, but the arrogant bastard actually had the gall to accuse her of imagining things and being jealous. Jealous! She was only concerned about his welfare, and more importantly, his son's, Jack. Well, if she was being totally honest, and right now she was just far too angry to be honest and generous, she might have been a smidge jealous, but instincts were going crazy when she met Beth and as the weeks progressed, the feeling just got stronger and stronger.

For weeks, she tried to ignore it until she couldn't anymore. Things just didn't seem to add up about Beth, but everyone else seemed to like her and Hotch was part way stupid over this woman. The only person she had noticed who seemed reticent about Beth was Jack, but the little boy had sensed that his father liked this woman, so he made an effort with her.

Emily didn't know who to talk to about her suspicions. She knew the rest of the team would pass it off as jealousy. Half of them thought she had a crush on Hotch anyway. Well, maybe at one time, but he was going a loooooooonnnnnngggggg way to destroying any warm fuzzies she might have towards him.

She had narrowed it down to Reid or Rossi as someone she could talk to and then the matter had been taken out of her hands when coming back from a custodial interview one day, Rossi had simply asked her,

"Do you think something is off about Beth?"

That had opened the floodgates and Emily had gone on for about fifteen minutes listing all of her concerns before she realized she was carrying on a monologue and Rossi was looking at her like she was out of her mind.

"I just meant, do you think she might not be into Aaron as much as he is into her."

Emily had wanted the ground to swallow her up, but Rossi had looked at her kindly and then his expression turned thoughtful. He asked her a few questions about her observations and then miracles of miracles, Emily saw a frown cross his face.

"I hadn't considered it," Rossi mused. He looked at her sheepishly. "Okay, maybe I was taken in by her pretty face and pleasant demeanor, but…you're right. Those are odd things. You know, Aaron does like her a lot."

"And he's turning a blind eye to potential warning signs. What are we going to do?"

She didn't know how it happened or how Rossi had managed to talk her into it, but she found herself knocking on Hotch's apartment door one Saturday afternoon when she knew he would be alone. Jack was with Jessica and he would be meeting Beth later. He was surprised to see her, but invited her in and offered her a drink.

Emily declined and plunged right in to what she had to say. It wasn't pretty. Hotch said some pretty horrible and nasty things. Jealous. Vindictive. Pining for him. Need to get over your crush. Never been in love before except maybe with a sociopathic terrorists so who really could trust her judgment. The last comment had stunned her speechless and Emily let him have it with both barrels.

"I don't give a rat's ass about you, Hotch!" she had snarled. "I'm worried about Jack! Because if you bother to get your head out of your ass and read the file I'm giving you, you'll find Beth is actually a black widow who has glommed onto single fathers, married them, sucked them dry and killed both the father and children. A finger print at one of the crime scenes and a photo of the suspect confirms it." She threw the file at his head noting with grim satisfaction when it hit him square in the face and stalked out of the apartment.

Obviously he must have read the file because come Monday morning, Rossi had pulled her into his office. He explained quietly that he spoke to Hotch on Sunday and after getting Garcia to do more extensive research, they had come to the conclusion Beth was actually the woman the New York police had dubbed The Merry Widow of Mayhem, the last place she struck.

Hotch, Rossi and Morgan were going to confront and bring in Beth that afternoon. Garcia, JJ and Reid were compiling the necessary paperwork and background evidence. Hotch had asked Rossi to ask Emily to pick up Jack from school.

Emily crossed her arms and glared at Rossi. "He couldn't ask himself?"

Rossi's eyes twinkled at her. "I think he was afraid you'd shoot him on sight before he could. I take it Aaron was a bit of a jerk when you spoke to him."

She snorted. "Jerk is the kindest word I would use to describe him."

Rossi nodded. "Look at it from his side, Emily. He liked Beth. Now to find out she was a serial killer who was plotting his and his son's deaths? Not what you want to hear from-" Rossi seemed to catch himself. "From someone." He cleared his throat. "But he knew you would be happy to help with Jack."

Emily sighed. No matter how mad she was at Hotchner, Sr., Jack Hotchner always had her heart. She nodded and left Rossi's office to go to her desk. She could feel Hotch's eyes on her, burning into her back, but she ignored it and him for the rest of the day. She helped the others with the paperwork as Hotch, Morgan and Rossi tracked down Beth. When the time came, Emily left the BAU to pick up young Hotchner.

As she pulled up to the school, she recognized Jack's teacher, Mrs. Harkness. Emily had picked Jack up a few times, as had JJ, Morgan and Rossi. Each of them along with Garcia and Reid were on Hotch's list of okayed adults for Jack. He never knew when something could come up so he made sure everyone on his team would be able to pick up Jack if he or Jessica couldn't. Usually, Emily volunteered and the school had become somewhat familiar with her. She had hit it off immediately with Mrs. Harkness so the women knew each other on sight.

"Emily!" Joan Harkness called out.

"Hi Joan!" She walked up to the other woman. "Agent Hotchner has been delayed and he asked me to get Jack."

"Oh," the teacher looked startled. "But Miss Elliott already came by."

Emily tensed up. "Beth Elliott?"

"Well, yes," Joan Harkness replied, her face marred by confusion. "She's picked up Jack several times, sometimes with Agent Hotchner. Is something wrong?"

"Where are they? Did they leave already?" Emily asked sharply.

"No, they're still in the class room. Jack forgot his jacket. Emily, what's going on?"

Emily simply tossed the teacher her cell phone. "Call Agent Hotchner and tell him Beth Elliott is here with Jack! Call now!" She raced into the school, her hand on her weapon, but not drawn. She came up to another teacher she vaguely knew, identified herself and informed her that a suspect was in the school with a student in Mrs. Harkness' classroom. The woman was to inform the other teachers and get the children out of the school as quickly and as quietly as possible. She then hurried into the building as the teacher went scrambling to make sure the rest of the children were safe.

Fortunately, it was the end of the day and most of the students were already out of the school. The teacher Emily had collared was fast and efficient and whatever children were still around were being quietly and quickly ushered out. Prentiss unholstered her weapon and cautiously made her way to room 6A, Jack's classroom.

There were large windows that faced out into the hallway, allowing Emily to peer into them without being seen by the occupants inside the classroom. She could see Beth helping Jack into his coat. Emily bit her lip. It was too dangerous to go in there with her gun pulled and not knowing if Beth had a weapon. She re-holstered her gun and simply walked past the windows to the door and entered the classroom.

"Beth!" Emily called out in surprise. "I didn't know you were picking Jack up. Hotch asked me if I could do it today since he called into a meeting with Chief Strauss." She was hoping Beth was here simply to pick up Jack and she hadn't been tipped off that the FBI were on to her murdering ways. If Emily could just get Jack out of the room, then she could take down Beth.

"Emily, hello. I guess Aaron got his dates confused and forgot I was picking up Jack today. Right honey?" she cooed at the young boy.

Beth may have the power to warp perfectly intelligent adult male brains, but she was a little less successful with a sharp six year old. Hotchner, Jr. had never really taken to Beth, but seeing his father enjoy the woman's company, he had made the effort to tolerate her. It helped that his frequent requests to be around Aunt Jessica and Aunt Emmy were typically granted, it meant less time with this woman Jack considered to be a big phony.

"Emmy!" Jack started to run forward to Emily but Beth suddenly reached out to grab his jacket and pull him back towards her. Her eyes narrowed at Emily even as she smiled. She held Jack close against her, causing a flicker of fear to cross the little boy's face. She was holding him too tight.

Shit. Emily thought. So much for trying to end this peacefully. "I can take Jack."

"I think Jack is fine where he is," Beth snapped. Her eyes flickered towards Emily's gun. Beth reached into the pocket of her coat and withdrew a switch blade. She held the knife to Jack's throat. "I think what's going to happen is right now is that you are going to take that gun and put it on that desk over there, or I'll slit the brat's throat."

"Emmy…" Jack's voice quaked.

Her eyes steady and her voice strong, Emily simply said, "It'll be alright, Jack." She unfastened her holster and gun from her belt and set it on the teacher's desk next to her, moving slowly, her eyes trained on the knife held to Jack's throat. "Beth, let Jack go and we'll talk about it. You'll still have me."

Beth let out a nasty laugh. "Oh yes, you've been a constant thorn in my side, Emmy." She gave Jack a little shake. "It was always, 'Can I see Emmy now?' 'Is Emmy coming over?' with this one. I had to put up with his constant whining for you the entire time I've been with Aaron."

"He's just a little boy and doesn't know better, Beth," Emily said in a calm voice. "But Aaron does care about you?"

"Does he?" She sneered. "You know how long it took him to finally fuck me? Weeks! It's the hardest I've ever had to work on a man! If there wasn't all that life insurance money from Haley, I would have dropped him a long time ago. Yeah, he's great in bed and God knows he knows how to use that enormous cock of his, but those moods he would get in! Geez!"

Emily winced listening to the crude language the other woman was using in front of Hotch's kid. She made a mental note to make sure Beth's beating was extra painful just for that.

"And then there's the damn BAU! Calling him at all hours! How's a girls supposed to hook a guy if he's always rushing off to another city?"

Beth continued to rant and rave, the knife moving further and further away from Jack's throat as she complained about the little boy's father. By this time, Emily had inched towards the other end of the teacher's desk where a small, brass paperweight in the shape of an apple was sitting. She made eye contact with Jack. She rolled her eyes slightly towards her right where the apple was and then looked down at the floor. Smart child that he was, Jack understood and nodded his head slightly.

His jacket was not zipped, but it was on him. When Beth suddenly gestured with the hand holding the knife, she moved it away from Jack's throat and above his head. Emily yelled out, "Now!" Jack threw himself towards the floor, holding his arms back so he slipped out of the jacket, leaving Beth holding it. Simultaneously, Emily picked up the apple paperweight and hurled it at Beth, striking the other woman in the shoulder. Beth staggered back, but held onto the knife as Jack scrambled out of the way and Emily charged forward.

"You bitch!" Beth screamed. She slashed at Emily who threw up her arm to protect herself. The blade sliced through her jacket and shirt, cutting into her skin and drawing a thin line of blood. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jack scrambling to his feet and running for the door. He hesitated and looked back at Prentiss.

"Jack, its okay, run and get help," she said softly to him. She heard the door open and close and small footsteps pounding in the hallway until they faded away. She turned back to look at Beth and gave the other woman a feral smile.

"Assault on a federal agent," Emily purred out. "You just gave me permission to pound your ass, bitch!" She dove forward.

Hotch ran up the steps to the school, Morgan and Rossi on his heels. Jack nearly collided into his father in the doorway when they crossed paths.

"Jack!"

"Daddy!"

Hotch dropped down to his knees and pulled his son into a fierce hug. "Are you okay?"

Jack was trying to wriggle out of his father's grasp. "She's going to hurt Emmy! She's got a knife and she made Emmy put away her gun! She's already cut her!"

"Where?" Rossi asked.

"Miss Harkness' room."

"Down the hall, left turn at the end. It'll be the third classroom on the left," Hotch informed them. He pulled Jack into another hug and for a moment was torn between staying with his son or helping Emily.

Morgan and Rossi took that decision out of his hands as Morgan dove into the building and Rossi only paused long enough to say, "Get Jack checked out, we'll help Prentiss." He ran after Morgan.

The two agents approached the classroom at a quick, but cautious pace. They could hear the sounds of a struggle and female shrieks along with some grunts. Before they reached the classroom, there was suddenly silence. Exchanging concerned glances, the two men quickened their pace and cautiously pushed open the classroom door.

Both men blinked at the scene before them.

Emily was sitting on an unconscious Beth's back where she had just finished cuffing her. The brunette lifted her head and the two men could see a bruise on her cheek, but that was about it though they would later realize she had a shallow cut on her arm and a few more bruises. Rossi would later suspect and have Emily confirm with a twinkle in her eye that the only reason she had the injuries was that she wanted enough proof to show that what she did to Beth was not excessive force, but simply an agent protecting herself.

Beth, from what they could see, was another story. A black eye, a fat lip, multiple bruises, the Merry Widow of New York looked more like a boxer who had gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson and lost. She was also unconscious.

"Uh, you okay, Princess?" Morgan asked as he holstered his gun and walked gingerly forward. Morgan winced when he saw Beth's bruises and made a mental note to not aggravate Emily whenever they sparred.

"Oh, I have my share of bruises," Emily said as she got to her feet. Realizing she was moving too easily and seeing the skeptical looks on the men's faces, she suddenly wilted slightly and said in an unconvincing voice, "Ow?"

Rossi guffawed. "Just put on a better act in front of IA when they ask about this." He gestured to a prone Beth.

"She came at me with a knife. See? I'm cut." She held up her ruined sleeve where a trickle of blood had stained the fabric. She pointed to the switch blade lying a few feet away.

"Okay, get that checked out while we deal with her," Morgan said as he gave Emily a little push towards the door. After she had left the room he turned to Rossi. "You think she enjoyed that?"

Rossi grunted. "Maybe a little too much, but seeing how scared Jack was, I'm not feeling too kindly towards Beth in the first place."

Emily walked out of the school into a chaotic scene of local police, FBI, parents, school staff and news crews. She saw two ambulances and since her arm was beginning to sting a little, thought she would head there before dealing with anyone else.

As she walked up to the ambulance, she heard a small voice cry out, "Emmy!" Seated at the back of one ambulance was young Jack Hotchner with his father hovering over him. The little boy jumped down and ran over to him, Hotch trailing behind. Jack threw himself into her arms.

"You're okay!" he sniffled as he held on to her tight.

"Oh honey, of course I'm okay," she said in a soothing voice. "Hey, you were very brave today, my little man."

Jack pulled away and looked at her with watery eyes. "When a bad man had Mommy and she told me to run, she wasn't okay later."

Emily and Hotch felt their hearts constrict. She glanced up at his tortured eyes and despite the antagonistic feelings she had towards the man, she wouldn't wish this type of pain on him. She turned back to face his son.

"No, no she wasn't," Emily said softly. "And I know how much that hurt and how sad it made you and your Daddy. It made me sad too. But Jack, I'm okay. I'm okay and I'm here."

"You won't go away?" he asked in a small voice.

Emily hugged him. "Oh sweetie, no matter what happens I'm always going to be there for you, just like your Mom is. You may not see her, but she's always with you."

"Are you always with me, Emmy?"

"You betcha!" she said with a grin. "It's because you're my best guy! I can't give up my best guy!" She pulled him towards her to give him a warm hug.

"I love you, Emmy," the little boy sighed in her ear, warming her heart and startling his father.

As Hotch watched the two interact, he was trying to sort out the storm of feelings within himself. He was reeling from the revelations about Beth, a woman Jack had never warmed up to. But here his son was confessing his affection and love for Emily Prentiss, a woman with whom he had accused of being incapable of recognizing true love two days ago. There were a lot of messes to clean up now that Beth was in custody and Jack was safe, one of the biggest being his relationship with the woman before him.

"Jack," he interrupted with a hand on the boy's head. "Why don't we let Emily get checked out to make sure she's okay?"

The woman and child separated and Jack looked at her anxiously. "Do you have owwies, Emmy?"

"Just tiny ones," she said in a loud whisper. "Don't worry, they'll be okay." She stood up and with a smile at Jack, started to move towards the ambulances. Hotch stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Emily, I don't know what to say. Thank you for saving Jack. I'm sorry-," Hotch began in a contrite, emotion-choked voice.

"Don't," she said in a low tone, so Jack wouldn't catch the snarl in it. "I did it for Jack. But you and me? We're not okay and I suggest you take your hand off me and keep your distance, sir." She gave the 'sir' a level five 'screw you' tone that she normally reserved for Strauss.

Hotch dropped his hand and watched as she walked away from him, knowing he had far to go to make things up to Emily Prentiss.

A/N 2: Thank you for those who nominated my two stories, "A Rose By Any Other Name" and "Reckoning" for the Profilers' Choice Awards. The final ballot is up so you can vote if you wish. forum. fanfiction. net/topic /74868/ 51253709/1/ (just eliminate the spaces to make the link work). Voting ends November 30th. There are a lot of good stories nominated, maybe some you haven't read before so it might also give you an opportunity to discover a new story.