Tidal
What are heavy? sea-sand and sorrow:
How ridiculous, Smoker contemplated. You would think that I'd be the first to die, between the two of us. I guess I was wrong.
He wearily loosened the somberly striped noose tied around his collared neck. Funerals, he mused, are rarely ever welcome. Especially when the ones they are held for are much, much too young…
What had possessed his subordinate to fling herself into a bullet's deadly parabola? Duty? Chivalry? A strange form of love? Once again, Smoker found himself without answers, but this time, he had no partner to contemplate with…
Tashigi was gone, gone… Not gone, per se. Technically speaking, she had just been moved to a rather nice home. Underground. Cramped, but with a pleasant view. Lots of flowers. She liked flowers. Smoker supposed it was a 'woman thing'.
But she was barely a woman…! Twenty one, before a hastily aimed pistol robbed her of her remaining years.
And here he was… inexplicably standing on a stretch of empty beach, in full funereal attire. Thirty four, before a woman too loyal for her own good purposely got shot, guaranteeing Smoker more lonely years on the planet.
Why was he at the seashore? Smoker glanced downward at his clothing and grimaced. I'm ready for the beach, he thought sarcastically. Heaving a world-weary sigh, he lit two cigars and smoked them moodily. He was never that fond of the ocean, but the sound of the ebbing tide was a small comfort to his guilt-wracked mind.
The Grand Line Beach… Empty. It was almost always empty. This stretch, with its colder wind, more violent waves, and coarser sand, was less favoured than its nearby Red Line. Nobody ever went to the Grand Line. Unless they were planning on staying in the Grand Line. Permanently. Until relocated to a nice, underground home, with pleasant, flowery scenery.
… Yet there was somebody else there.
Smoker regarded the other person carefully. It was a young man, sprawled like a starfish on his back, feet toeing the edge of the water. Messy black hair and sun-kissed freckles. Plain black swimming trunks, encrusted with salt and sand. And he seemed to be asleep; the stranger's eyes were closed, and his chest softly rose and fell in time with the advancing and receding tide. A bag with a zebra motif lay nearby, with an obscenely orange hat balanced on top.
He was probably around Tashigi's age…
The younger man mumbled, and then jerked upright. "Shoot, I fell asleep again," he muttered before rising unsteadily and brushing himself off. He spotted Smoker. "Oh, hello," he greeted cheerfully.
Not one for pleasantries (and especially not that afternoon), Smoker remained silent.
"You're not exactly dressed appropriately for a jolly frolic in the ocean," the stranger commented, smiling wryly.
"Apparently, I was very appropriate at the funeral," Smoker answered peevishly. The smile was far too… happy for his liking. It also reminded him of a smile he'd never see again.
"Oh," the other man said uncomfortably. To Smoker's satisfaction, the smile faded. "I'm sorry about that…"
"Whatever," Smoker grumbled.
"… There any particular reason why you're here, sir?" the stranger asked politely.
Smoker flinched. Sir. Sir, sir, sir… Sir was not a word Smoker liked at the moment, especially when directed at him. It was reminiscent of stressed overtime, long patrols, and spilt coffee. "No, there's no reason why I'm here," he said gruffly.
"Well, you might as well enjoy the ocean," the younger man said slowly. "I guess you can't swim in it at the moment, but you can just look at the ocean. It's good… you know, for calming down. Thinking. Stuff like that."
"Really," Smoker said skeptically.
The stranger nodded. "Maybe not today," he added kindly, "but on another day, perhaps. You should try coming back another time."
Smoker grunted in vague acknowledgement before heading back towards his car parked nearby. As he drove away, he saw the other man run towards the water out of the corner of his eye…
What are brief? today and tomorrow:
"Hina thinks that you should go someplace calming," Smoker's friend, a fellow police officer, advised mildly. "You won't forget dear Ms. Tashigi, but it'll take your mind off things."
Smoker thought long and hard before accepting Hina's counsel. And the first place that came to mind was the quiet Grand Line…
To his surprise, when Smoker arrived at the shore, the same man from a few weeks earlier was there once again. Even more surprising was that the younger man recognized him and walked over to greet Smoker.
"… Do you always go here?" Smoker asked.
A sheepish laugh. "Yeah, pretty much," the stranger admitted. "I suppose you could say I'm a fanatic of Grand Line Beach…" A thoughtful pause. "Came here to think?"
Smoker nodded reluctantly.
"I see," the black-haired man said quietly. "… Whose funeral was it?"
"Tashigi Shigure. She was my subordinate. Shot at point blank range while we were trying to apprehend a few robbers." The blunter the statements, the less emotional. But it still hurt.
"Ah. Police?" the younger man questioned. Seeing Smoker nod, the other man said, "Tashigi Shigure… that's a pretty name. Oh! I'm Ace," he said, finally introducing himself.
"Smoker."
"So, why did you decide to come back here?" Ace asked curiously.
"There never are many people here, granted there are any at all," Smoker said. "It's quiet. Though I don't see why you can be so enthusiastic about this area."
"Well, I've always loved the ocean," Ace confessed. "It's this awe-inspiring mass of water. It's powerful enough to wear down rocks, to weather pointed slabs into smooth faces… And have you ever seen the ocean during a storm? The waves! There are enormous crests and troughs… But water is life, yeah? So it's like sticking your feet in liquid vitality? It's something 'dead' that makes other things alive. And it's everywhere… our planet should have been named Ocean instead of Earth. It makes more sense," Ace concluded.
"That's an interesting opinion," Smoker commented.
Ace shrugged. "Nah, I'm just weird," he said wryly. Then his face became somber. "… You still upset about Ms. Shigure?"
Smoker sighed heavily. "Every day at work goes by so slowly," he muttered, "and I keep wondering why she saved me. There were so many things she could've done… It all drags on and on. But although it feels like forever, the… grief, I suppose… it doesn't fade. It still feels recent, like she just died yesterday…"
"It's hard to forget," Ace remarked bitterly. "And sometimes," he added, "you just can't forget. When people pass away, they always hurt the loved ones left behind. My mama died when I was young. My little brother is three years younger, so he doesn't remember her much… but I could remember her. I still can't forget her, but it's starting to hurt less. Things take time, and things like this take a lot of time."
"I've noticed," Smoker grumbled sarcastically.
"Someday you'll look back and say, 'Hey, that wasn't so long ago'. Trust me," Ace reassured serenely. "And, well, I'm sure Ms. Shigure would have wanted you to continue on in life," he added slowly. "It sounds cheesy, but I think it's true. Don't forget, but… well, dwell on the memories and not the end of them."
"I just can't accept the fact that she died so soon," Smoker muttered, frowning.
"Was she young?" Ace asked. Seeing Smoker nod, Ace said, "Ah, I see… Well… life really isn't that long… I suppose we should all live it to the full while we still have it? Especially since we managed to have a little more of it than others," Ace stated thoughtfully.
Smoker contemplated. Tashigi's life was wasted, he reflected, but only because she died for someone undeserving. And after a moment of meditation, he decided to try and become someone worthy of Tashigi's sacrifice. He'd continue both of their dreams. That would do her Justice.
"You're right," Smoker said, surprising Ace. "Life is short. But I guess that's what makes it precious… or something."
Ace smiled. "I guess the only thing we can do is just try our best, eh?" He flopped onto the sand. "Did the ocean help?" he asked curiously.
"No," Smoker snorted. "But I suppose you did."
What are frail? Spring blossoms and youth:
Months had passed after Tashigi died. To his coworkers' surprise, Smoker had worked even more diligently than before, with fervour that had been previously extinguished. When asked why, Smoker merely told them that it was in Tashigi's memory. They accepted the explanation.
And so he found himself at the beach yet again. Ace was there. Smoker was no longer surprised.
"Hey, Smoker!" Ace exclaimed, wading quickly out of the salt water to greet the older man. He stared thoughtfully at Smoker. "You look much better," Ace declared.
"I feel much better," Smoker admitted.
"That's good," Ace said sincerely, smiling. "So… fancy going for a swim?" he added.
Smoker blinked. "No," he said bluntly. "Besides, I don't have anything to swim in, and I'm definitely not going naked."
Ace laughed. "You're no fun," he commented, before reaching into his bag and pulling out a pair of large swimming trunks. He tossed them at Smoker. "I hope they fit!"
"You've been carrying an extra pair?" Smoker asked incredulously.
"Just for you!" Ace teased, laughing again. "Now you have no more excuses left. Swim with me!"
Smoker grumbled and eyed the swimming trunks skeptically. After much deliberation, he sighed in resignation. "Turn around," he muttered.
"We're both dudes, y'know," Ace stated, rolling his eyes. He complied anyways. But once Smoker finished reluctantly changing, Ace whipped around and dragged him into the water.
"What's so great about swimming, anyway?" Smoker asked, disgruntled.
Ace pretended to look offended. "You ask, 'What's so great about swimming, anyway?'" he said with mock incredulity. He smiled and admitted, "It's not quite the swimming that's great. It's the ocean, Smoker! How many times do I have to tell you?"
"I still don't see why it's so great," Smoker deadpanned, sullenly kicking the cool surf. "Not everyone's like you… gallivanting in the ocean whenever they feel like it. What did you drag me along for?"
"Well…" Ace paused, and then stated, "Coming to Grand Line has always made me more at peace." He shrugged. "You never know, it could work for you too."
Smoker sighed. "Do you really think so?" he grumbled.
"Oh, lighten up," Ace exclaimed. "Trust me, you'll never feel better if you don't loosen up a bit. I'm serious!"
"How are you serious if you're trying to make me less serious?" Smoker said wryly.
Ace laughed. "See, you can make jokes, or at least lame ones," he commented. "And I'm completely serious about trying to limit your seriousness. You can't be stern and grumpy all the time." He turned to face Smoker. "So… how old are you?"
Mildly taken aback by the random question, Smoker answered hesitantly, "Thirty four…"
"Pfft, you're not that old," Ace scoffed. "Stop acting like an old goat."
"Excuse me?" Smoker blinked.
"You heard me fine," Ace said dismissively. "You're not young forever! Cherish your, um, youngness."
"Youth," corrected Smoker.
Ace splashed Smoker with water. "Do some fun things like 'gallivanting in the ocean' while you're not an old geezer," Ace said, ignoring the wet and angry man glaring balefully at him.
"Fine," Smoker said darkly. He tripped Ace and amused himself by watching the younger man tip over and flail indignantly.
An all out brawl manifested: handfuls of sopping sand were thrown, unsuspecting heads were dunked, and seaweed was used to slap the opponent…
"Maybe this is a bit too ridiculous," Ace gasped, spitting out a mouthful of salt water.
"It's your fault," Smoker accused, trying to wash sand out of his hair. After somewhat cleaning himself up, he proclaimed, "I'm going to leave now. What do I do with the shorts?"
"Keep 'em," Ace suggested.
Smoker paused. "Are you sure…?"
"Of course I'm sure," Ace said, shrugging. "What would I do with swimmin' trunks that don't even fit me?" He grinned widely at Smoker's uncertainty. "If you take 'em, we can go swimming together again."
"Alright." Smoker trudged away from the water and collected his clothing.
"Goodbye," Ace said, waving cheerfully. "See you another time."
"Goodbye," Smoker stated.
"We'll swim again next time," Ace promised.
Smoker nodded in acknowledgement. Not particularly wanting to change, he gave in to his lazy side and went into his car, sandy and wet. And he absently noted that, for once, he didn't really care.
What are deep? the ocean and truth.
- "What are heavy?" (Christina Rossetti)
The next time Smoker went to Grand Line, he was surprised by two things…
One; Ace was not there, although the weather was pleasant and warm.
And two; somebody he had never met before was waiting for him.
"You Smoker?" the stranger asked. When Smoker nodded, the stranger smiled politely and said, "I'm Marco. Ace's friend. I've got a message from him for you…" He pulled out an envelope from his baggy jeans' pocket and handed it to the other man.
"… Thank you," Smoker muttered, accepting the envelope. Hesitantly, he asked, "Where's Ace?"
Marco's face sobered. "He died two days ago," he answered.
Smoker stared blankly at the other man. "What?" he said, stunned.
"The little idiot finally drowned," Marco said. He chuckled dryly. "The fool was narcoleptic. He probably fell asleep in the middle of swimming. I guess that's what happens when you don't really listen to other people's advice and just risk your life by 'gallivanting in the ocean', as he nicely put it once…"
"… Sorry," Smoker said heavily.
"You don't have to be," Marco said mildly, a wry smile on his face. "He was a great guy. But… well, to be blunt, he was a bit stupid when it came to the ocean. It sort of fits that it was the reason he died. I couldn't think of a better way for him to go." He sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm gonna miss the little nuisance, but this way, he never did have to leave Grand Line."
"Is there going to be a funeral…?" Smoker inquired tentatively.
"Yeah, it's the day after tomorrow. Here…" Marco gave Smoker a small slip of paper with an address. "Ace wouldn't have minded if you went, so don't feel weird if you go." He nodded respectfully to the other man and began to leave. "Well, I'll leave you alone now. Pleasure meeting you, though the circumstances could've been better."
As Marco left, Smoker glanced at the crinkled envelope in his hand. He opened it.
Dear Smoker,
Sorry. If you got this letter, it means I didn't go swim with you again.
Turns out my grandfather wants me to go overseas. I'll be leaving soon. Just in case I go before being able to say a proper goodbye, I wrote you a letter. Must've been a surprise finding it in your work mailbox at the station!
The thing is, we'll probably never see each other again, which is kind of a shame. We've met thrice, but we probably could've been good friends or something, even though we don't know each other's full names. Funny, eh?
Before I leave, I just wanted to tell you something.
A few days ago was the 'anniversary' of my mother's death. I visited her grave. But I also found your friend's, by accident. Tashigi Shigure, right? I kept wondering if it was you that gave her those nice flowers I saw…
She really was young. If she was still alive, she'd be a few months older than me… twenty one and a bit?
You were right: life really doesn't last long, but it's what makes it special… or something. (Yes, I'm mocking you.) In the long run, we're pretty ephemeral. I guess we'll never know when it's our turn to pass on. I suppose people come and go like the tide. They don't stay very long, but they still leave a mark on us.
I don't think I'll ever have the chance to return to Grand Line. I'm going to miss that place. Oh, and you too, of course! Remember to have some fun without me! Keep my lovely ocean company for me, please. It'd be a shame to waste the life Ms. Shigure gave to you. Take a breather every now and then. Appreciate the view or something.
Anyways, on the slim chance we'll meet again, let's go swim together. Sound good?
Goodbye, Smoker!
Portgas D. Ace
Smoker looked up at the ocean, a wry smile curling his mouth. The strangest thing was that he couldn't mourn over Ace's death, although he had spent months grieving over Tashigi's.
"Thanks," Smoker stated. "I'll always remember the both of you and what you've done for me." The long hours in the office and the fleeting memories at the beach; the hot, spilled coffee and the cool, splashing salt water; the same warm smiles… One gave him another chance and the other convinced him to use it. No, he wouldn't forget either Tashigi or Ace anytime soon.
Don't forget, but… well, dwell on the memories and not the end of them…
To Smoker, no other view could be as beautiful as the small strip of sand and the expanse of faceted water beyond it. "… The ocean is beautiful," Smoker grumbled to nobody in particular.
But he imagined an annoying, freckled face grin at him and say, That's what I've been telling you all along…
I dig my toes into the sand…
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket.
I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless,
And in this moment I am happy… happy.
I wish you were here.
I lay my head onto the sand…
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it.
I'm counting UFOs, I signal them with my lighter,
And in this moment I am happy… happy.
I wish you were here.
The world's a roller coaster… and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were here.
- "Wish you were here" (Incubus, Morning View)
End