Paradoxical Instincts
Chapter One:
I Develop a Serious Case of Cattitude
The night was going normally until I saw the cardboard cutout of Lou Ellen. If it hadn't started talking, I might have not noticed it.
"Hello there!" The cardboard cutout buzzed, it's recording of Lou Ellen's voice grainy. "How are you doing today? That is nice to hear."
I stopped in my tracks and stared at the cutout. Of all the peculiar things to find in the forest a little after five A. M., this about topped the list. Who on earth would not only create a cardboard cutout of Lou Ellen and then, secondly, leave it out in the middle of the forest overnight?
I approached the cutout cautiously.
While the cutout seemed completely harmless, I had fallen into the habit of being suspicious of my surroundings everywhere I went around camp. This was because the Aphrodite cabin, within roughly the last week, had been very... uh, 'interested' in 'helping' me with what they perceived as romantic deficit in my life. Despite the fact that I'd politely turned them down several times already, they kept trying to interfere, sometimes forcefully.
Anyways, it was right around five A. M. in the morning, which meant that the Aphrodite campers should still be getting their beauty rest. I really doubted that this random cardboard cutout was meant for me to find.
"Hello there!" The recording buzzed to life again as I stopped a foot away. The moonlight illuminated cardboard cutout Lou Ellen's permanent, crafty smile. I found her frozen expression oddly amusing.
It was as I was pondering this strange cutout when I noticed the blue sphere pushed into the cardboard at her stomach. For a long moment, I pondered about how it looked strangely familiar. There was intricate detail etched onto the surface of the orb. Where had I seen that before?
The answer came to after a moment of consideration. Lou Ellen's pig balls. Her pig balls looked something similar to the blue orb.
Wait... I realized that if that sphere looked like a pig ball, it might actually be a pig ball. I started to back up immediately, but I wasn't fast enough. The orb glowed for half a second before exploding and filling the world around me with blue smoke. I fell to the ground, my lungs burning and my body numb. The forest cleared up rather quickly, but it took a long spout of coughing to fully clear my chest of the thick smoke. It left terrible flavor in my mouth which reminded me of old tuna. I spat a wad of saliva out on the ground.
As I gathered my bearings again, I realized that the forest had changed. Now, I'm not the tallest of the demigods, but I had never found the forest canopy so far above me. The trees had suddenly gotten a lot larger. "What the hell," is what I tried to mutter. However, the noise I actually made was more akin to, "Mrr-row?"
Oh no.
I didn't want to look, but I had to.
My gaze hesitantly dropped downward. Sure enough, my wonderful, normal, human hands had been replaced by a set of paws. The sphere hadn't been a pig ball; it had been a cat ball.
One of the nearby trees rustled. "HAHA, GOT YOU!" The real Lou Ellen landed heavily several feet away. However, she stopped her gloating abruptly when she saw me. "Huh? You're not Cecil."
I hissed at her.
Lou Ellen took a few steps closer and crouched next to me. She looked huge, which was kind of unnerving.
"I know you're not Cecil because he's always a tabby." Lou Ellen commented thoughtfully, before stretching out a hand to pet me on the head. However, since she was the reason I was currently a cat, I wasn't really interested in letting her pet me like some simplistic animal.
I batted her hand away and hissed again.
"Oh, Nico! It's you!" She exclaimed with surprise. I wasn't sure how she figured out who I was. "Sorry, I was trying to prank Cecil. We have this war-thing... anyways, don't worry, the spell should wear off soonish!" She waved her hand nonchalantly.
Soonish? I didn't like the sound of soonish. I gave Lou Ellen my best cat glare. I really hoped that by soonish she meant, let's fix this right now!
She picked me up. Now, I had been carried before when I was a little kid. But as a sixteen year old male, I couldn't remember the last time someone picked me up and carried me. So I reacted, flailing to get out of her grip. Again, I tried to talk, "PUT ME DOWN!" but it just came out as a high pitched yowl.
"Holy Hades, calm down. I'm just going to bring you back to camp. You can't stay out here as a cat, 'cause something might eat you."
Hmph! If anything in the forest dared to try and eat me, it would find itself swarmed by undead soldiers. Unfortunately, due to my predicament, I couldn't make this argument with Lou Ellen (besides that, I had a creeping feeling that my underworld powers would work while in cat form). Even though it was absolutely annoying, I decided to allow her to carry me.
I huffed loudly and relaxed in her arms.
When we reached the edge of camp, Lou Ellen went the wrong way. Both the Hades cabin and the Hecate cabin were in the same direction, to our left, with the rest of the newer cabins. Lou Ellen headed to the right. I glared up questioningly at her, sinking my claws gently into her sleeve to get her attention. She ignored me.
The sun was beginning to rise when we reached the Apollo cabin. "No," came out as a short growl. I flexed my claws deeper into her sleeve for emphasis.
"Oh, shush you. I don't have time to babysit you today." Lou Ellen was grinning deviously.
I wanted to scream at her, "You turned me into a cat! I'm your problem, whether you have time or not! You should be concerned with fixing me, not babysitting me!" But just like before, my vocalizations came out as a mixture of incoherent hisses and growls.
The Apollo cabin was broken into two sides, one for the girls and one for the guys. Lou Ellen went straight for the guy's door and barged in.
"Hey Will – oops!" Her voice jumped up a few pitches at the end of her exclamation.
Several male demigods in various states of undress all turned to stare at Lou Ellen and me. It looked like they all had just woken up, with their hair ruffled and some still partially in their pajamas. Luckily, I was a cat, so no one could see how much blood rushed to my face. In the very back of the group, a shirtless Will Solace was in the process of pulling on a pair of jeans.
He yanked his jeans up quickly when he saw Lou Ellen. The rest of his brothers, while yelling in annoyance and embarrassment, also quickly slipped on more clothes. "Lou Ellen!" Will complained as he walked over. "For crying out loud, you can't just come in like that!"
Don't stare at his chest. Don't stare at his chest. I told myself fiercely. … okay, maybe I'll just stare for a moment.
"Sorry about that, Will." Lou Ellen muttered, clearly embarrassed. It seemed like the half-naked, muscly demigods had affected her too.
Will's face softened. "It's fine. Just... don't do that again. Ever. Please." His eyes drifted down curiously to where Lou Ellen had me cuddled against her chest. I nodded my head at him in greeting.
Before Will could ask why Lou Ellen had brought a cat into his cabin at five thirty A. M. in the morning, she sloppily shifted me around in her arms, grabbed me under the arm pits, and thrusted me towards him.
"I got you a present!" She declared cheerfully.
Flattening my ears back, I let out a hiss, "I am not a present."
Will stared in confusion at Lou Ellen, then me, then Lou Ellen again. "Um, what? Lou Ellen, we can't have pets."
"Well, this one is kind of a special pet."
I let out another hiss. Will frowned and asked apprehensively, "Special pet...?"
"I accidentally turned Nico into a cat." Lou Ellen answered flatly.
Behind Will, the other Apollo guys started snickering. Their cabin counselor's ears reddened. "You... what? Why?" He looked at me, clearly baffled. I avoided his gaze, twitching my tail in discomfort. I didn't like all this attention.
"Long story short, I was trying to get Cecil. But I accidentally got Nico with my cat ball." Lou Ellen explained, before taking a step forward and shoving me into Will's chest. Upon hitting Will's muscular chest, every inch of my being felt electrified. It took everything in my power to not sink my claws into Will's bare chest out of shock. Breath, I reminded myself. Lou Ellen then said, "Here you go! I've got to get to working making another cat ball to use on Cecil."
With that, she let me go and took a few steps back. I would have fallen, but Will's arms had wrapped around me. Even through my fur, I could feel his warmth. I was glad that he couldn't see my blush since I was, well, a cat.
"Wait, hold on, how long until he turns back into a human!?" Will asked a good question; I would have also liked to know that.
"I dunno, maybe a day?" Lou Ellen replied, a big, innocent smile decorating her face. She didn't wait for any further questions. "Okay, bye!" The mischievous daughter of Hecate turned and skipped out of the cabin.
I made a mental note to get revenge on Lou Ellen as soon as I was back to being a human.
The arms holding me started to move, until Will's hands hooked under my arms just like Lou Ellen's had. Why did everyone want to hold me like that? He held me about a foot away and stared at me curiously.
"Um." He drawled awkwardly, "Hi Nico?"
"Hi," came out as, "Meow."
That's when he started to laugh so hard that he leaned heavily forward, his entire body shaking with each deep laugh. Meanwhile, I didn't find anything worth laughing at. This was a tragic situation, not a funny one! I, the Ghost King, the son of Hades, had been turned into a damned cat! Thoroughly annoyed, I glared at Will.
"Oh gods, Nico, you poor thing." He chortled after calming down. He tilted his head and inspected me curiously. After a pause, Will commented pleasantly, "You make a cute cat though."
I glared at the floor shyly.
He laughed again. "Yep, you're definitely Nico. Okay, well… I guess you're coming with me to work today." Once again, I found myself being handled precariously as he shifted me onto head. His mop of blond hair smelled like lavender and campfire. "Comfortable?" He didn't wait for a reply (not that I could give anyways, since I was a cat). After he put on a button up shirt, we were off.
Technically, I've been alive for almost ninety years. Yet, honestly, I have never experienced an earthquake. Riding on top of Will Solace's head was what I suspected one would feel like. It took everything in my newly found cat balancing skills to keep myself centered on his head.
Will made a pit stop at the dining pavilion for breakfast. The nymphs were more than happy to receive special requests, especially for a handsome son of Apollo. I'd be lying if I said it didn't annoy me at how thrilled they were to scramble to find cat food for Will. "Oh, anything for you, Will!" They cooed sweetly.
The cat kibble that they found was old and stale. Begrudgingly, I gulped some of the tasteless crap down. "Stupid nymphs." I complained, which came as, "Mreeow."
"Yea, that was nice of them to find you some cat food." Will agreed happily as he chowed down on his lucky charms. I sighed miserably. It wasn't as fun complaining about things when others couldn't understand me.
When Will finished eating and I was done torturing myself with the cat kibbles, he scooped me up and dumped me back on his head.
It was just past six A. M. when we reached the Big House. Oddly, both Percy and Jason were sitting on the porch steps, awake. It was very unusual to find either Percy or Jason anywhere but in bed before nine A. M. They grinned as Will approached the steps of the porch.
"Hey Will, nice cat." Percy greeted, his grin looking particularly impish. Immediately, I was suspicious.
Jason looked just as insidious, with a grin that matched Percy's. "I thought Chiron doesn't allow pets?" Jason's words sounded more like a satirical line than an honest question. Had Lou Ellen given them a heads up somehow in the time that it took us to eat breakfast?
"Oh, well, he's not a pet." Replied Will, "He's Nico. Lou Ellen accidentally turned him into a cat."
Both of the demigods formed perfect circles with their mouths as they ohhhed. "Well alright then." Percy chuckled, his amused sea green eyes focusing on me. I shifted uncomfortably, diverting my gaze down to the ground.
"So, you're cat-sitting him?" Jason inquired.
"Yea, Lou Ellen asked me to watch him for the day." Will said.
"Hm, I wonder why she picked you!" Commented Percy, a thoughtful finger on his lips.
Beside him, Jason nodded in agreement. "Yea, me too. I like to think I'm a pretty decent cat-sitter!"
"It's like she thought Nico might enjoy Will better as a cat-sitter." Percy quipped, his eyes sparkling mischievously. I groaned.
Will shrugged, which nearly caused me to fall from his head.
"You know..." Jason said with growing excitement, "It's really quite the purr-dicament!"
Oh my gods. I sighed and covered my eyes with a paw. Sometimes, the children of the most powerful gods were huge dorks.
Percy jumped in on the game. "This situation... it's kind of a cat-tastrophy!"
"Guys, I'm feline like this cat-n't get worse."
"I'd be lion if I said this wasn't paw-sitively strange!"
"It's sort of hiss-terical, if you think about it."
"Okay, I'm out of puns."
There was a pause where Jason rubbed his chin. "Me too."
Below me, the blond carpet of hair began to shake as Will laughed awkwardly. "Haha, yea." I found Will's response strangely unenthusiastic. Usually, he loved stupid jokes as much as the sons of Zeus and Poseidon. "I'll see you guys later? I've got patients waiting." He slipped between Percy and Jason on the steps. I glanced back at the two idiots and found them both holding thumbs up at me. When Jason winked at me, I turned away, flustered.
I made a mental note to destroy both Percy and Jason after I was done with Lou Ellen.
The infirmary was busy today. Will started the day by checking on the three demigods that had spent the night in the infirmary: an Ares kid who'd gotten stabbed during sword practice, and the two Stoll brothers. The Stoll brothers, per usual, had landed themselves in the infirmary because another one of their (many) pranks had went awry.
The Stoll brothers were quick to declare that they liked me better as a cat. So, I jumped off Will's head and tried to test out my new claws on them. Will scooped me back up before I could do any real damage.
"No attacking my patients." He chided me, before placing me back on his head. I didn't really agree, but whatever.
Thorough out the day, demigods rolled in consistently for both big and small issues. One Aphrodite girl showed up with a hang nail, tears streaming down her face. Will was amazingly patient, even with her. I watched curiously as he took her hand and began to rhythmically murmur a healing hymn.
While some of the healers would belt out their healing hymns, Will settled for a simple approach. After all, this son of Apollo was (somehow) rather tone deaf. Still, there was something innately soothing about the tenderness of his voice. I relaxed and let myself enjoy his hymn.
I didn't even realize when he had finished with the girl. "Nico..." Will spoke softly, "Are you purring?"
Uh. I hadn't even realized that I had been. "No," I tried to lie, "Meow."
"Aww," He chuckled, "Do you like my hymns?"
Abashed, I stayed quiet. If he thought he was getting a reply to that question, he was downright wrong. I wasn't about to voluntarily embarrass myself.
His hand came out of nowhere and lightly pressed onto the top of my head. The sudden petting freaked me out, and I tried to retreat. The only issue was that there was no place to retreat to, so I just ended up slipping off Will's head.
Weird instincts kicked in and I started flailing my limbs in a calculated manner as I fell.
It ended up not mattering though; Will twisted around and caught me. His hands slid to rest under my arm pits and he held me up so that my little cat nose was only an inch from his huge human nose. "Careful there!" Will chuckled. My mind went blank as I stared into his blue eyes. I had dreamed silly, impossible dreams about being this close to him. The only problem was that I hadn't been morphed into cat in my dreams.
He gave me a quick peck on my nose, and my mind short circuited. I stayed frozen as he lifted me back up and plopped me back on his head. My heart was speeding and I couldn't find the soft purr that rumbled through me. Traitorous purr, I thought with annoyance.
The rest of the day went by peacefully. I found a very comfortable position on Will's head, and eventually drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up, I found myself on a hard counter with warm pressure brushing over my stomach. It felt nice, so I started to purr. That is, until I peeked an eye open and found that it was Will rubbing my stomach. Surprised, I snapped awake and scrambled up to my paws. It was really weird how casually he kept touching me.
Being a cat was tough.
"Good afternoon, Death-kitty." I scowled at Will's nickname for me. "Ready for dinner?"
Dinner? It had been lunch when I had started my catnap.
I padded to the edge of the cabinet and was about to jump down. I might have been a cat, but I was fully capable of walking around myself to the dining pavilion. The only reason I had let Will carry me around earlier was because... well, I had kind of liked it.
Will picked me up before I could jump down. "I'd rather carry you." He said, as if he had read my mind. "I don't want Mrs. O'Leary getting any ideas."
Today, the nymphs were serving BBQ. The sweet, smoky scent filled the entire pavilion. My mouth began to water as the smell hit me. I was excited up until the moment that the nymphs handed Will both a plate of BBQ and a bowl of the tasteless kibble.
I hissed at them as Will thanked them.
The Apollo table was already full of campers when Will reached it. Once Will had sat down, I hopped onto the table. Some of Will's siblings looked at me curiously, while others seemed more interested in the delicious smoked ribs. One boy in particular glared at me disdainfully, before sneezing loudly.
"Will, I hope you don't plan on bringing him into the cabin tonight." He sneezed again, "I'm really allergic to cats."
Will scratched his cheek, "Oh yea, I forgot. I guess we'll stay over in the Hades cabin tonight."
Next to the Apollo table, the Aphrodite table suddenly broke into riotous giggles. I twisted around and glanced through the shoulders of the Apollo kids. All of the Aphrodite campers were outright staring at me. I couldn't help but think of the many recent offers to 'help' with my love life that I had turned down from them.
Funnily, I also noticed that Drew Tanaka, who was practically the ring leader of the Aphrodite cabin (despite Piper being the official cabin counselor), was missing from the table.
A few tables away, I noticed Lou Ellen and Cecil sitting next to each other at the Hecate table. They were leaning together, whispering. For a girl who claimed that she had to spend the day trying to turn Cecil into a cat, she seemed unusually chummy with him now. When Lou Ellen noticed me staring, she grinned big, waved, and then winked. Beside her, Cecil laughed and his lips moved in a manner that looked like he said to her, "You're so mean!"
The gears started turning in my head. While I didn't fully understand Hecate magic, I hadn't seen Lou Ellen ever accidentally curse the wrong person. Had she purposefully turned me into a cat? A myriad of cusses poured out of my mouth, except all they sounded like was hissing and snarling.
My hissy fit caught Will's attention. "Aren't you hungry?" He asked as he nudged the bowl of cat kibble towards me.
I stared at the cat kibble and considered it. "Yea, no." I meowed, but I added in a shake of my head to get my point across. While my cat stomach was growling at me, I decided I'd rather go hungry then torture my taste buds with any more lousy kibble.
"Nico, you should eat! Doctor's orders." Will insisted with a smile. I threw back my head and let out the best moan that my cat vocal cords could do. The big dork wasn't a doctor and he knew it. Will grinned and pushed the bowl forward until it pressed against my legs.
So I did what any good cat would do: while staring firmly at Will, I shoved the bowl right off the table. It clattered to the ground.
"Really?" Will whined. Before he could again remind me that I need to eat something, I got to my paws and stalked over to his plate. If I was going to eat anything, it was going to be worthy of a Ghost King. I pawed one of the ribs off Will's plate.
Somehow, being a cat made the rib taste even better than normal. I dug in and found myself really enjoying the sensation of ripping the meat apart with my teeth. Being a carnivore had its perks. The sauce was getting all over my fur, but I didn't care. The deliciousness made up for the messiness.
Will leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I think I might have to give you a bath after this." There was a hint of teasing in his voice. My fur felt too warm as I squirmed under his amused gaze.
Before I could think of some way to make a witty comeback, the air rippled next to Will. Hazel, my Roman sister, appeared as an iris message stream opened up.
"Hi Will!" Hazel greeted cheerfully.
Will seemed a little confused, but still replied pleasantly, "Oh, uh, hello, Hazel!"
Growling suspiciously, I swiftly climbed up onto Will's shoulders so that Hazel could see me. I wasn't sure what she was trying to pull; after all, she didn't really know Will very well. Not well enough to be calling him randomly at dinner, at least.
"I heard my brother got turned into a cat!" Hazel didn't beat around the bush. As much as I would have preferred to tell her that it's not of her damned business, I had to settle with sticking my tongue out at her.
"Yep, he did." Will said, pointing unnecessarily at me.
"Aw, Nico, you are an adorable cat!" She giggled. Even though Hazel was my sister, I found myself wishing that I could summon a few skeletons and send them after her.
Will started petting me again, which I didn't like. His hand made my head bob up and down strangely. "He's not too pleased about it though!" As he laughed, I flexed my claws. I didn't want to mar Will's beauty, but a few scratches on the hand probably wouldn't do any permanent damage.
"Naturally! But I heard you're taking good care of him?"
"Um, yes, ma'am."
"I'm very glad to hear that, Will. I'm sure Nico really appreciates you... helping him." This is when I discovered how to fluff out my fur. It wasn't very useful, but it did help express my total rage at Hazel's not-so-subtle comments. From the way she said 'very' (more parts of her face moved then was necessary for that word) to the large, purposeful pause after saying 'you', Hazel words were laced with more than basic concern. I added her to my revenge list.
That made four demigods currently on my revenge list: Lou Ellen, Percy, Jason, and now Hazel.
"Uh." Laughing awkwardly, Will mumbled, "Yea, sure." His face was red.
Luckily, my savior appeared. Never before would I have guessed my knight in shining armor would be Reyna, with her purple and silver clothes rippling with the waves of the iris message.
"Hazel, what are you doing?" She asked bluntly, glancing back and forth between the iris message and Hazel.
For some reason, Hazel sounded chagrined. "Oh, um, I'm just telling Will how glad I am that he's taking care of my brother... because he got turned into a cat."
Reyna's eyes narrowed dangerously. "They actually -" She paused and then huffed, "Idiots. Hazel, you're only encouraging them. Let's not torture Nico." I wasn't about to argue with that suggestion. "Sorry Nico, Will. Have a nice night." Reyna said curtly, before waving her hand and shutting off the iris message.
Most of the dining pavilion was now watching the Apollo table. Personally, I was ready to just go ahead and die from embarrassment. But before I could hop off Will's shoulder and start banging my head into the table, he stood up.
"Uh, I'm full. Good night everyone." I dug my claws into his shirt as he quickly shuffled out of the dining pavilion. I could feel the other campers' eyes on us until we rounded around the corner of one of the camp's buildings. Sighing with relief, I relaxed on Will's shoulders.
Today had been too much. Everyone seemed to be in on some weird joke concerning me and Will. Was this an extensive prank by the Aphrodite cabin? I shuddered fearfully.
"We have weird friends, Nico." Will said with a sigh.
"You're telling me!" I groaned in agreement.
At least things couldn't get worse, right?
- x - x -
- x - x - AUTHOR'S NOTES - x - x-
Hello! I hope you all enjoyed chapter one. C: I decided to try writing in a style similar to the original five Percy Jackson books, which lead to this. I've actually already got the rest of this story already written; I'll be publishing the next chapters once every three to four days. Favorite and follow along! Also, leave a review. Reviews inspire me to write more, haha.
The idea for the story was loosely inspired by the amazing cat puns in Legowerewolf's Solangelo fan fiction, "Cat-astrophic."
Normally, I include a link at the end of my FF's to a social media site of mine where I post accompanying extra tidbits to go with the main story. However, I am unable to link to that here, so I'll just post the extra tidbit below!
- x - x -
- x - x - TIDBIT # 1 - x - x -
"How about… cat-tastrophe?" Percy suggested. He was leaned over one of the desks in Jason's cabin, a pen in his hand.
Jason, who was sitting on his bed, nodded enthusiastically. "Ooh, yea, that's a good one. Write that one down."
Biting the bottom of his lip in concentration, Percy sloppily scrawled cat-tastrophe on a piece of notebook paper.
Jason scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Let's see… what about… hiss-terical?"
"Yea, I like it!" Percy chuckled, before scribbling hiss-terical below cat-tastrophe.
Both boys stopped and looked up when the door to the cabin opened. Piper and Lou Ellen entered the Zeus cabin, dragging a life sized cardboard cutout between them. When they propped it up against the wall, Jason blinked several times in surprise.
"What on earth… why do you have a cardboard cutout of yourself, Lou Ellen?" Jason asked.
Before Lou Ellen could reply, a scratchy recording kicked on. "Hello there!" The cutout greeted, in Lou Ellen's voice. Piper reached behind the cutout, messed with it, and the recording shut off.
"This is our trap!" Piper explained cheerfully.
"The cutout is mine, obviously." Lou Ellen chimed in, grinning, "I use it pretty often to dupe people with. It's quite deceptive once I wrap some mist around it."
Jason had a hard time believing that. While the picture of Lou Ellen printed on the cardboard wasn't necessarily bad quality, it was still a two dimensional print out. Besides that, not everyone was swayed easily by mist, including their target.
"Okay, but Nico is pretty good at seeing through the mist." He pointed out, concerned.
"Oh, we're not going to bother wrapping it with mist." Piper said, "We're pretty sure he'll get close to it out of pure curiosity. I mean, look at it!"
"It is pretty weird." Agreed Percy.
"Thanks guys." Lou Ellen snorted, before playfully adding, "Curiosity killed the cat. Or, in this case, curiosity leads to becoming a cat."