A/N: So... I have been thinking about Solitudes. About things that could have been different. But in the end I have come to a conclusion. That episode cannot be changed! It is simply perfect... just the way it is. With all the concern, jokes, honest and also with all those little gaps that your imagination should fulfill. Even with those small mistakes… But it kept nudging me anyway. You know, with all those cute interactions and hidden meanings... it just couldn't let me sleep. Since the first time I have seen it... To me there is something missing afterwards... if you feel the same... you might like this. Anyway - as always - I would love to know what you think. And just to be sure - this might not be the only story referring to Solitudes. Hmmm... you'll see. Oh and to keep my promise - better read the INTRO to my story Taking little risks before this. Might be helpful…

Being all safe and warm

Janet was sitting in her office. She had a blanket over her shoulders. It was warm there but she felt like becoming a popsicle pretty soon. She had heard all those rumours about Antarctica. Sam and the Colonel had been trapped there, with ice everywhere, slowly freezing to death. Both of them had been hurt. She was waiting for them in the infirmary. She had her people ready, with two beds and all the machines. They had prepared the operation rooms. The report said something about internal bleeding and broken bones. And of course they were both way too cold for her liking. She could easily imagine hearing the Colonel complaining about his sweet butt freezing to the ground.

It was tough and it was a close call. They had been brought to her after some treatment but still... the hard work was still up to her. And she fixed them. Saw was awake in the moment of being brought there. She kept repeating: "Internal bleeding... broken leg... ribs... tried to keep him warm... didn't wanna leave". Janet could only assume that it was all about Colonel O'Neill. She was trying to reassure her, to talk to her, but the poor astrophysicist was slowly losing focus. She was just too exhausted. Janet was afraid then… she was scared actually. It looked like she would lose them. But she was a fighter… and so were they.

They both were sleeping by now. It was a terrible look. Those two strong people lying there, hooked up to so many machines, fighting for their lives. She was reading through the reports. It looked like Sam hadn't been wearing much. She had just about a half of layers of her BDU. She must had been freezing! The pictures came in just a moment ago. It looked like Sam had made a bed for O'Neill. She most probably wanted to keep him warm and give him a chance. Had she even noticed those bruises on her own back? Those three almost cracked ribs? Oh... So they had been cooperating on getting the DHD out, on melting some of the ice, on keeping each other warm, right? Or not? She couldn't be sure from the pictures. But she knew them both. Colonel would be trying to order Sam around and make her leave him and she would be just wearing herself out trying to make the gate work and save them.

But the report said something about traces of somebody going up to the surface. Had Sam gone up there to try to find help? What happened out there? All she knew were silly gossips. Like that they were lying too close together. Or that Sam kept calling him. Or that O'Neill wouldn't let go of her hand, even while being almost dead. But who would believe it, right?

She had the whole team in the infirmary during such a short time. She had a hard time with Daniel and Teal'c. They'd been spending too much time with Jack O'Neill. And Teal'c was not afraid of needles. It was kind of stressful.

She was really not herself right now. And only Daniel could really truly understand. Everybody was just ... the whole personnel was just so eager to find them, they were not taking good care of themselves. She had to order those people to sleep and to eat. This base was just too extraordinary. It wasn't easy to work there. But she wouldn't trade the place for anything.

The hardest thing was to come home and face her sweet daughter. She just sensed that something had been going on. Janet had to tell her. She would never forget the scared look. And truth to be told, she had never been more happy to call home and say "We found them. They're gonna be okay". She had to promise Cass that she would bring her to the base pretty soon. Those guys were really important for her.

Daniel appeared there in the office with a cup of coffee, bowl with fruit salad and with bowl of her favorite cereals. Those crispy ones with dried fruit and white chocolate chips. He even brought some heated milk for her. It was so cute.

"I thought you might be a bit hungry."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You wanted to see them?"

"No, actually I am more concerned about you right now. You must be pretty tired. Go to sleep, Janet."

"Naah, I'm fine. And with the snack you brought... I'm gonna be fine."

"All right, but promise me to take some rest, all right?"

"Don't worry, Daniel."

He went to take another chair and sat down next to her. She looked puzzled. He just shrugged.

"Just making sure you eat the fruit, you know?"

She just had to smile. He was a good friend. Sometimes she still had a hard time believing that Daniel and Jack were best friends. But on the other hand, they were complementing each other in a good way. She ate the salad. She had a little chat with Daniel as well. In about an hour there was a time for a regular check-up.

Daniel accompanied her to his team-mates. She checked them and made some notes.

"Are they okay?"

There was a deep concern in the anthropologist's voice. She could only nod.

"They're gonna be."

"Janet…"

Oh, so he noticed the slight tremble in her voice. He looked so… she couldn't describe it. He was just Daniel. The cute clumsy guy with open heart and horrible sense of timing. She could trust him, couldn't she? She could, he was a friend.

"It looks like she is in a worse shape than him. And that's something that I don't understand. It should be the other way around."

"Why?"

"His wounds were more severe. It took me hours to fix the ribs and stop the bleeding. But it's like I'm missing something about her condition."

"Hypothermia?"

"Yeah, I think so… but I'm not sure. It can be the cause… but… oh I just don't know. And it scares me."

"Hey, her results look okay, right?"

"Yes."

"So let her sleep, give her time to gain some of her strength back. She won't die on us. Not when we have another Stargate to play with. And this time even with the DHD."

He tried to cheer her up. And it worked. When she was about to reply she noticed a movement. Colonel O'Neill was waking up. Earlier, he had some troubles with breathing so he was lying on his side, with pillows behind his back, to ease his breathing a bit. It was working. Janet was concerned about his ribs though.

She sat next down to him.

"Colonel? Jack?"

"Doc…"

"It's okay. You're home, safe. Everything's okay…"

He let out a deep shaky breath. Poor guy was afraid. He had troubles with keeping his eyes open. She caressed his cheek, tried to calm him a bit.

"Carter?"

"She's gonna be okay, sir, don't worry."

She wanted to go and let him sleep but he got a hold on her hand.

"Anything wrong, sir?"

"Wanna ….. see her."

Janet smiled. Yeah, this tough soldier had a warm place in his heart for his 2IC. Yeah, he cared about everybody, he was a good man, but there was something else in it, something different when it was about the people from his team. And especially Sam. Who would have guessed…?

"Sir, just try to open your eyes, she's lying right here."

And then in amazement she watched him to fight his tiredness and pain. He opened his eyes and fixed them on the other bed. Sam was there, covered with blankets, steadily breathing. He could see her hands and her face. She looked so peaceful.

"She … awake?"

"No sir. She was awake when they brought you here though."

"Said anything?"

Janet kept holding onto his hand. He looked suddenly like a small scared boy. Did he really care that much? He didn't want to let go. And he even didn't mind that she's been using her "mother-like-ish" tone of voice on him. It was that tone that could calm you down, sooth you, make you feel safe. It was working on Cassandra…

"Yes. She told me about your internal bleeding, broken leg, and broken ribs. She was trying to keep you warm. .. You were hers only concern."

"Huh?"

"I think that's why she's not up yet, Sir. She had severe hypothermia. She wasn't wearing much. It looks like she wanted to keep you warm to give you a chance to heal and survive."

"Shouldn't…"

He closed his eyes in pain. She sensed that this was important. She had to know. Maybe something happened and knowing might be helpful.

"Sir?"

"She shouldn't … care."

"Of course she cares, sir. It's something you guys do… Would you let her freeze to death and die there?"

"No…"

"See? Sir, she saved your life. And yes, it had endangered hers… but as I know her, she didn't mind."

"That's … wrong."

"No, it's not… You would do exactly the same."

She was hoping for some answers… but it didn't look like she would get any. He looked so worried and tired. He was thinking about something, so much she could say. Why Sam shouldn't care? Did he say something? Did he do something? She wanted answers. But they could wait. They would have to.

"You should rest, Colonel. You need it…"

"She… cold?"

"No, she's fine now. Don't worry. You are both okay, Colonel. You made it."

"Wanna… make … sure. Have to…"

It was scaring that he had to fight for every word. He looked so tired. He let go of doctor's hand. He tried to reach out. But it was all too much for his body. He fell asleep soon, with Sam's name on his lips.

Whatever happened out there had clearly brought those two even closer. Was this about being on the same team, about being friends… or even about being more? She didn't know. And she even couldn't know, not for sure. She would have to give them time…

Janet just adjusted the blanket around his shoulders. It was always strange to be tugging these big guys in. She got used to it though. She could even enjoy it. These men were not all whining and complaining all the time about every tiny scratch or anything like that. They were tough. So in times like these, while they've become vulnerable, it was her job, to take care of them. And she really liked that.

Daniel came closer and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"They're gonna be okay, don't worry. They're too stubborn to die on you."

She nodded and smiled at him. He was right. She wanted to leave but he stopped her.

"Can we bring his bed a bit closer to hers? Or the other way around?"

"Why?"

"Because if he wakes up without a chance to touch her, he's gonna try to get up… to make sure she's really alive and you're going to have a lot more work to do then…"

"You think so?"

"Well… she's been his only concern after waking up…"

"You're right… Yeah…."

She hadn't even realized that. Colonel didn't ask about his condition or about the situation. He was concerned only about Samantha.

"Daniel, I'm not sure…"

"Why?"

"I don't want them to get into troubles… I know they are just friends but in their conditions …"

"Huh?"

"They can… slip a bit."

"Oh…"

"And it looks like something did happen out there…"

"Hmm… is there some rule like what happens in the infirmary stays in the infirmary?"

She chuckled. It was cute. And it meant she had been right. There was definitely something more going on. He didn't even try to correct her about those two slipping a bit.

"You know what, doc? You should go to see Hammond and tell him about the situation. Use your charm and make it sound like … something medical. And if he approves…"

He was right.

"I'll stay."

"All right."

She left. He sat down next to Sam. Her hands were still cold. They've become friends some time ago, very good friends. It was hard to see her like this. She was really important to him. Besides she had the ability to make them all talk and work things out. She was a good friend. She was their lucky charm. And usually the only one who could handle Jack in his bad moods. He wouldn't usually dare to be rude to her. And in times when he would try, she could always turn the fight into a friendly bickering.

"Hey, Sam… you should wake up you know? Jack's gonna be fine. You saved him. Now it's time for you to fight for your own life… Don't you dare to leave me here alone with him."

He kissed her forehead then.

Janet went to see General Hammond. She tried to describe the situation without giving away too much information. But the man wasn't stupid. Of course he understood. And he allowed her to do anything in order to get those two back in shape. She thanked him. He was a good man. They were pretty lucky to have him in command. He had understood a long ago that this base was not just a military base. He could grasp the whole situation.

Daniel was still sitting there in the infirmary. He was really happy to have his friends back. It was difficult to know that they'd been listed as MIA. After all they'd been put through together… And of course he noticed those sparks flying around Sam and Jack. Since the moment on Abydos he could sense the charge in the air. He thought it was just an attraction. But in a few weeks, after being with those guys on Chulak and then after the whole Broca incident… oh yeah, he could tell that there was something going on. But they were soldiers and in the same chain of command. They didn't have a chance. And they didn't even know each other well enough to risk anything. So he prepared himself for long months of gathering information, for being with those two and watching them dance around each other, slowly getting closer. And well, he was right.

He even realized something important. In case it would be needed… he'd be covering for them. He … just cared too much. Maybe this whole caring-too-much philosophy came with the label on his shoulder. Something that runs in the team.

And now they were in the infirmary. Sam still sleeping and Jack worried sick. What happened out there? He couldn't wait to hear it from them. But from what he had to understand earlier, they would tell him the official version. It took them only few months to develop this technique. They learned how to miss certain things in reports to stay out of troubles. He was being supportive, of course. But he would die for knowing what exactly had happened out there.

Why would Jack say that Sam shouldn't have cared? That didn't make any sense.

Janet came back with a big smile on her face. Daniel helped her to adjust the sleeping arrangements. They moved Sam a bit closer. Well, more than a bit. Those beds were practically next to each other. But it should be okay.

Daniel told her to get some sleep. She just smiled at him. Of course, she tried to reassure him that she would go to bed soon. He wanted to go to sleep himself but after four hours of tossing and turning, he gave up. With another cup of coffee he went to the infirmary. Janet was asleep behind her desk, Sam's results on the table. He wasn't sure about what to do but then in the end he just picked her up and put her into one of the infirmary beds. It was not much but she could definitely use the sleep.

He took a look at his friends too. And he wasn't surprised. Jack had one of his hands in Sam's bed, holding onto her hand. They were both sleeping. He was smiling at them. He could see all those consequences… all those looks and jokes and embarrassing smiles. Yeah… he would enjoy his time with them later, that was for sure.

Sam opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was Daniel.

"Hey…"

He smiled at her so broadly… she was awake!

"Hey you… We've been worried about you."

"Colonel?"

"Right next to you… he kept asking about you."

"Gonna … be okay?"

"Yes, you both will be okay soon. Just need to rest and regain some strength."

She nodded slowly. Then she realized that something's been in her hand. She tried to turn her head but it hurt. Instead of that she managed to turn and lie on her side. Daniel was amused. He helped her a bit in the end. She needed to adjust the pillow and the blanket. And yeah, he was supposed to leave them alone but he just couldn't let her suffer. He was her friend after all!

Sam thanked him. Then she reached out with her other hand and caressed Colonel's cheek. She knew it was dangerous but in that particular moment she couldn't have cared less. He whispered her name then. She closed her eyes and fell asleep again. She was still holding his hand in her own.

Daniel would love to see Janet's face if she should see that.

During the next two days they've been up few times. Janet managed to persuade them to eat something. They were not complaining about staying in the infirmary. That could mean only one thing. They really weren't feeling well.

They were usually silent.

Then one day, it was around 2 AM, Sam had heard something. She opened her eyes. Colonel had minor troubles with his breathing. He was awake. Their beds were still pretty close together. One day ago Janet tried to move them away. She was surprised and a bit scared about the result. They both had a restless night. They kept tossing and moving, their breathing was erratic, and they felt like crap in the morning.

Janet assumed that it was just about their mental health. She could understand though. They got used to each other. Hearing the other breathe was their only connection. It used to assure them about not being death.

She ordered the staff to bring those beds together again. Sam was really grateful for that. But after hours of blissful sleep…

"Colonel?"

"Go to sleep…. Carter."

He could hardly breathe.

"Should I call the nurse?"

"No. And that's an order. Don't argue…"

"Sir, are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

He looked strange. She was concerned.

O'Neill knew pretty well what was going on. He had a pretty bad dream. And because he had to learn how to deal with those a long ago… he haven't been screaming or anything… he just couldn't breathe. It was the way how his body coped. He was used to it by now… She just wasn't supposed to see.

"Carter… just… sleep."

"Yeah, right… And I just let you choke to death, huh?"

"It will pass, trust me. It always does."

Oops. He shouldn't have said that. He looked at her. She just put her blanket away. She didn't have the IV for the night anymore so she could try to walk. She walked around his bed and sat down behind him.

"Whatcha doin'?"

She didn't say a thing. She started with a slow circular motion with her hand over the upper part of his back. After few minutes he was breathing normally again.

"Better?"

She didn't even bother with the sir now. He rolled onto his back to take a look at her. She moved a bit as well. Her head was resting on his pillow. He moved so he would be lying in the same position. Their faces were just inches apart, bodies next to each other, not touching though.

"Where did you learn that?"

"When I was a kid, my friend was asthmatic. Once she had an attack. Nobody knew how to help her… she never said anything about being asthmatic. She ended up in the hospital that time. And I asked the nurse what to do. She got me instructions. When Nicole, that was the friend, had some troubles with breathing, this was helpful. Not always but when it was minor… it could do some magic."

It surprised them both that she told him this story.

"Thanks, Carter."

"You're welcome, Sir."

"But you know Fraiser's gonna be pretty mad that you are not in your bed, right?"

"She doesn't know…"

He just chuckled. Was this his influence on her?

"Carter…."

"Yes?"

"Fraiser said something about you having hypothermia…"

"That's right. We both were suffering from hypothermia. It happens, Sir, while living in the middle of glacier."

"She said something about you missing some clothes…"

His eyes were dangerously dark. She suddenly realized where this was going. Was this the time for answers? Nobody could hear them… they were almost alone and besides, whispering.

"Are we having an honest conversation?"

"I think that's pretty clear, Carter."

"It can be also just a talk between commanding officer and a junior one…"

"Relax, captain. This is just between us. Like a team night… just with Daniel and Teal'c missing… and we are not having beer and pizza…"

She smiled at him. They remained silent for some time, just looking at each other, trying to find some unspoken questions and unsaid answers.

"Well… what was that about the uniform?"

"She's right."

"Yeah, I figured! Carter, are you kidding me? Giving up your layers? On Antarctica?"

"I needed to keep you warm."

"I know… but you shouldn't have risked…"

"I didn't risk anything."

"No? Walking around there while I've been lying on your uniform? Which you just forgot to mention to me?"

"I kept on working, Sir. I was moving all the time. And you needed to be warm at least a bit more. You had internal bleeding. I had to keep you warm. I just had to. And besides when I needed to get warmer, I just used the combined body heat."

She sounded so … vague. She let it sound like something absolutely normal. Normal!

"So just … you think it's right to risk your life for your CO?"

"Do you think it's right to risk your life for your 2IC?"

"I would never forgive myself… Gosh Carter I thought you'd know this about me by now…"

"And you think I would be able to forgive myself?"

"It's different."

"No, it isn't. Just because you are man and a superior office you are not in a different position. We all are in the same one on this. I feel exactly the same as you do when something is wrong."

"Do you really think so, Captain?"

She nodded. She didn't trust her own voice enough to use it. She felt a tear in the corner of her eye. She just didn't understand why should she be crying now?

He noticed. And he looked guilty.

"I just really hate the idea that your life was in danger just because of me."

"And you think I was enjoying seeing you dying on me out there?"

He understood finally. He reached out to wipe away the lonely tear. The silence was comfortable this time. But the moment was getting a bit serious though.

"So you enjoyed snuggling closer, huh?"

She giggled.

"Oh come one, what's with the giggling?"

"Sorry, Sir. But… It was you who said something about the snuggling being nice…"

He opened his mouth. He wanted to say something. But he couldn't find the right words. Oh yeah, it was nice… having her so close. He was so busted... lying there and having no smart answer!

"It was your idea, Carter…"

"Can't remember you ever complaining, Sir… I don't count the ribs…."

Here it was. The friendly flirting… oh yeah, they both liked that. It was an excuse for discussing personal matters. This way it could have been forgiven.

O'Neill noticed her eyes slowly closing. She was falling asleep in that way too comfortable silence. Maybe it was the best thing to do. There were things that should be cleared between them… yeah. But on the other hand it would pretty difficult and not to mention dangerous, working them out. And having her in this small bed... oops.

"You should go to your bed, Captain."

"I'm cold, Sir."

She really shivered. And he didn't care about the reasons. Just not anymore for that moment. She was there, seeking comfort. And the least thing he could do was to give it to her. He hugged her. She got lost in his embrace. Careful not to touch his ribs, she snuggled even closer. He knew that he was supposed to sleep but he simply couldn't. He kept caressing her hair, holding her close, protecting her from the chill air in there. He didn't even notice those hours fly by.

Sam opened her eyes only to find two chocolate ones looking back at her. Here came the embarrassing moment of silence. She was trying to come up with an excuse… but he just caressed her cheek again. She closed her eyes and tried not to enjoy the feeling of his hand on her face too much. She knew the regs, she knew them all… this was … just in the infirmary. It wouldn't leave the room. But it felt nice.

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Why did you come back?"

She looked puzzled. He could practically see the wheels in hear head moving and spinning. This was his choice. He needed to ask, he needed to know. There was nothing he could do to stop himself.

"You were supposed to go out and try to save yourself."

"I climbed up there… you know that, Sir."

"Yes, I know. I remember telling you it's been an honor serving with you."

"That's right…. Did you mean it?"

"I was almost dead, Carter. Of course I meant it."

"Sir?"

"That came out wrong… I mean… I wasn't even able to lie back then. I was just being honest before losing consciousness."

"All right…"

"So?"

"Oh… Well I climbed up to the surface. The only thing I could see was ice. It was everywhere. I gave up all my hopes that moment. I knew we would die there…"

"You could have tried…"

"No… I was exhausted. There was no way for me to walk out there… I knew it would all end there. And after everything we've been put through together I just couldn't let you die alone."

"Carter…"

"Sir, I don't know what to say, okay? I wasn't acting like a soldier during that time. I just… I was scared, you know? I wasn't ready to die… yet alone. And knowing you were down there... I just couldn't..."

She felt like crying again. Damn it. She hated this weakness. She was supposed to be tough and have her emotions in check… what was this?

"I'm glad you came back, Sam."

He didn't want to say that. He wanted to say that she should have tried… he wanted to give her a piece of his mind for coming back. But when he looked at her, saw those tears in her eyes, the pure honesty, he just couldn't do anything else. He had to tell her the truth.

"I was scared too, you know? After all those years I finally had something to live for… and suddenly I was slowly freezing to death. I didn't wanna die. But I knew I would. And … I swear Carter, I will shoot you if you ever mention this, but I was scared of being alone."

She smiled at him. She could hear all those emotions in his voice. Was this even real? She could hardly believe it. Maybe she would wake up soon?

"And yet you ordered me to go."

"Yes, of course. I kinda hoped you would go up there and find some help so there would be nobody dead in the end…"

They were silent for some time. It felt like something heavy was just lifted from their shoulders. And in the same they felt… like gaining something important into their lives. They just had to find a way how to grasp it and understand.

"Sir… when Janet lets you out of here… you should go and see Sarah."

"Why?"

"Because when I came back and you were just … well you said her name. And as far as I know, something like that usually means some … deep feelings or so."

He became distant at that moment. He closed his eyes and took his hands back. Sam suddenly felt really cold. What was going on? Did she say something she shouldn't? He was closing up. She was losing the connection with him. This honest conversation that should help them to understand each other and the whole situation was suddenly over. She felt so sorry.

She tried to touch his face in the same manner he had touched hers before. It was a risk... He flinched. Well, better than nothing.

"You shouldn't, Carter…"

"I shouldn't what, Sir?"

"Why do you care?"

"What?"

"About me, my life, Sarah… why do you care?"

"Do you really want me to answer this, Sir?"

"Yes."

"And I thought it was obvious."

"Carter stop … playing with me. Just answer the question. … Please."

"I care because you are my CO, because you saved my life, because of everything we've been through, because no matter what the army thinks about it, we are friends… so of course I care! Sir…"

"And you think I should go to see Sarah?"

"Yes, Sir. Because if you have something to live for… it might as well be your wife. No regrets, remember?"

He closed his eyes again for a brief moment. He was so tired…

"We are divorced. I care about her, but I do not love her, not anymore. Things are over between us."

"But…"

"I remember saying her name, yes. I had my head full of images of Iraq… and …"

"You don't have to say anything, Sir."

She sounded sorry. And he was getting a bit frustrated.

"Damn, Carter. Let me finish. I'm pretty tired and I'd like to go to sleep soon… better before Fraiser arrives with her needles and something horrible for me to eat."

"Okay, Sir."

"I knew you were there. I could feel you. You were holding my hand. I wanted to tell you that Sarah saved me from losing it in Iraq… but… that I …"

"Sir?"

He looked directly into her eyes. This was the moment.

"I managed to survive out there in the middle of Antarctica just because of you, Carter."

"I thought…"

"I know. And I don't want you to. That's why I'm trying to explain. I was thinking of you, Carter… I wanted to tell you to fight and to survive. And that you shouldn't be risking your life for me because you have it all ahead of you… but it really felt nice having you next to me… I wanted you to know... I just didn't manage to stay awake for that long. And I remember you saying something about being there so I just..."

"Oh..."

She closed her eyes. She couldn't stand the intense look of his eyes. This was the most emotional conversation on her entire life. And she would swear that the Colonel's too. She got a hold of his shirt and pulled herself a bit closer. He hugged her. Tight. He didn't want to let her go.

It hit them both in the same time. The pure realization. They could see it all around them. Something was happening. And it shouldn't be. And it was wrong. And yet it felt right. They could just lie there next to each other, daring more or less to touch, but that was it. And they would never be able to do more. And they knew it. They could be friends. And lots of things could be excused because of some strong friendship, right?

He cared about her. And she cared about him. As friends? Yeah, for sure. As more? Nobody would ever know.

Then he could hear her whisper…

"Sir, is there a chance that … maybe one day you will tell me about Iraq?"

"You would want to know?"

"Yes, Sir, I would like to know… And maybe even more … about missions and your life, son and maybe even Minnesota."

He was supposed to say no. He was supposed to order her to go back to her bed and never ever mention this again. He was supposed to take care of her. Yeah, maybe she was supposed to be the one to do the thinking… but she wasn't up to it, obviously.

He held her close. It was almost 7 AM, Janet would come soon. And he would have to let her go. These moments were the last ones. Everything would end right now and right here.

"Yeah…"

That was all he managed to say. And she started to shake a bit. He couldn't say if it was from the cold or … maybe crying. But he could feel his emotions burning up inside of him. Janet could have come that moment and stick a needle into his butt and yet he wouldn't care. He could only feel the trembling woman in his arms.

"Ya feeling cold, Carter?"

"No, Sir. All safe and warm now…"

Maybe she was feeling cold and didn't want him to know. Maybe she was crying. It didn't matter. After another ten minutes she looked up at him. He gave her a smile. This was it...

She moved to her own bed then. They knew that they would have to start with dealing with things today. As the first step they should move their beds. And then? They would see. The goal was being fit and ready for duty as soon as possible. Oh... and able to sleep alone.

She would miss him next to her but ... he was her CO and ... she just had to let go and move on. Or not?

When Janet came, she found them both sleeping. Sam's face looked like she'd been crying. And to her surprise, Colonel's too. She couldn't even guess what had happened here. In ten minutes they were both up. They acted normal, maybe way too much normal. And Jack asked her to move his bed away again. She wasn't sure about it. But she tried it. They were not sleeping really well, but they insisted on it. She felt sorry for them. Something did happen… and the way how to deal with it must have been painful. For both of them.

She went to see Daniel. She told him about her ideas and about everything… she needed his advice. He was their friend after all.

"Janet… just… give them some time."

"I'm not sure this is right."

"No, it's not. But they know the risks. They know the regulations. They obviously talked through this. They want to do it this way. It's the way that allows them to be working together, being friends. And as I know them, that's what's valuable to them."

"Shouldn't be…"

He hugged her. She was crying silently.

"Hey… just… do what they want. And try to trust them."

"You do that?"

"Yeah… and I also have to be with them while they bicker and argue and flirt together and when they are slowly making me go crazy sometimes…"

And she smiled. He was right, after all. They were grown-ups. She had to trust them. Actually she could do a bit more. She could be really supportive. She took a deep breath. She noticed the dark circles under Daniel's eyes. So she took him to the mess hall to have some breakfast.

In the infirmary Jack was playing with his yo-yo. Saw was reading a book. He asked her about the plot.

"Actually, Sir, it's a book about the latest expeditions to Antarctica. I thought about..."

"Aaaack, don't wanna know!"

"Yes, Sir."

Despite his desperate tone he was almost laughing. And she smiled at him. They were okay now. And when he kept playing with the yo-yo while looking at her, reading the book, she felt content. Maybe there was something more going on underneath… but this was making her happy too. And it was enough. It had to be.

O'Neill kept staring at her. She was kind of beautiful. Or as he would say few year ago, she was drop dead gorgeous. It took him a while to figure her out – at least a tiny little bit of her. But he was amazed. And now, while knowing how she felt In his arms, how it felt to hear her heart beat and … then it hit him. And it hit him hard. He had it bad… He was so screwed…!

A/N: All right folks. This is the end. I had no idea how to end this. I have already finished it two days ago. But I didn't like it… So I erased the whole thing and started over… and maybe you say that they were way too emotional… but with the pain meds and after a near-death experience… hope that can be excused. Let me know what you think about it because I am still not sure. The whole point was to show that after Antarctica there had to be something to talk about… It had to leave them thinking and with lots of questions… anyway – this is the end I think… But I might as well come back to this episode with something better. I am not sure now… My exams are ahead of me so I won't be able to write for some time I guess…

Oh and the asthmatic thing - I am asthmatic... and while having minor troubles or after an attack - those slow circular motions of somebody's hand over my back are really helpful :o)