"You never smile like you used to. You don't tell me anything, and you haven't said that one word in almost three weeks now."
The clouds aligned in the sky in that moment, the darkness sheltering over the school grounds as two individuals stood on the rooftop. Words being said were borderline yells, which contrasted greatly against the calm demeanor of the leader's mask.
A façade of sorts, slowly crumbling. The one that had always been close at his side seemed so lost. The thoughts were strenuous to endure, every day the problems piling up on one another like blocks. And it never stopped, not until the alignment was perfect-not until he was forced to show his hand and crumble along with those very blocks.
"What is going on Yosuke?"
Steel-grey eyes stared right into brown, waiting for the answer.
It took three weeks to uncover the proper answer.
Unhidden
It was lunchtime; the infamous duo had sat down in the usual place in the usual location of the rooftop. Everything was normal.
Yosuke was almost ferociously devouring the meal that his friend had made. The rice tasted so simple whenever anyone else made it, but Yu wasn't just anyone. He could probably cook the simplest of meals and it would still be worshipped like it was touched by a god.a
"Haw du yuoh du eet?"
Yu had placed his chopsticks down in his empty bowl as he looked over at his friend who had a mouthful of rice.
"Care to try that one more time?"
Less than a minute later, Yosuke had managed to swallow the remainder of his food and set the bowl and chopsticks aside. Smiling widely, he tilted his head as he stared at his friend next to him.
"How do you do it man? Like seriously, your cooking is freaking amazing."
A smile formed on the other's lips in turn and he simply shrugged. That's just how he was, never one to brag, he was just a simple guy.
"It's nice to see you enjoyed the meal again."
"I always do."
The time that was spent with his best friend during lunch was always appreciated along with the food that came along with it. However, today was a little different. Yosuke knew that today was the first date between his best friend and the raven-haired beauty of the investigation team. It had been a long-running feat for him to gain the privilege to date the Amagi heiress. The idea that his best friend would have a girlfriend and be happy and such was a nice thought to Yosuke, what bothered him was the consequences that were going to come along with it.
He hadn't voice any of his concerns. The night before he had been so restless though. It worried him, how he was probably going to slowly lose that closeness he had with the other. It was just some unconscious happening in friendships that when someone got a girlfriend or boyfriend, everything changed.
You would see less of your friends and more of the significant other. It scared Yosuke to think that he would lose the one person that had already significantly changed his life so much and still did on a daily basis. But as he sat there, idly chatting away the last fifteen minutes they had of lunch, he couldn't dwell on the negatives since he was so caught up in staring at the ever-present smile that was on his face.
"Did you want to come over Saturday night?"
"Not planning on asking out Yukiko then?"
Yu shrugged again as he began to pack up the bowls and utensils they had used for lunch.
"I'm not really going to force dates. If it feels natural then I'll ask."
"Smooth man, reeeeal smooth."
Inwardly Yosuke was grateful. He didn't want to lose touch with the friendship that he had grown to love.
"Shut up. Besides, I don't see you getting a girlfriend."
Sighing, Yosuke looked defeated as he waved off the remark. "I'll stick with my fictional nurses for now."
With a snort, steel-grey eyes were shining with amusement as they now stood up and began walking to the stairwell. Yosuke was steadily walking just one beat off from the other, and just as he was about to say something he tripped on a stray rock and stumbled into the other.
Yu was quick to steady him, their bags clashing together slightly as they leaned into one another.
"Sorry man."
"It's okay."
For some reason Yosuke felt his cheeks become warm, and his mouth parted but no words were forming. He stared up at the other, seeing the smile on his lips and in his eyes. That was the one thing that he always longed to see, for some strange reason, with every encounter they had, he always just wanted to see the moment when his best friend looked at him like that. Pure happiness.
But, gradually the happiness became tainted.
"You kissed already? You serious?"
Yosuke was all ears as they sat on the futons the following Saturday. They were like two high school girls, sharing gossip on their latest endeavors. Well, mainly Yu's and it was all being said in guy-mode.
"She gave me that look."
"Oh, the look."
"Yeah. So I kissed her."
"Was it good, bad, awful, amazing?"
"It was all right. I could tell it was her first kiss."
For some reason, Yosuke felt a twinge of relief at the kiss being labeled as just 'all right'.
"Think you two are gonna last?"
"Who knows. It's really just about having fun for now."
Yu smiled over at him as he then went to reach for his soda on the table nearby.
Yosuke stared at him, watching the movements while the previous words were playing over and over in his mind. They were just having fun? Didn't they already have fun? Why was a girlfriend needed then if that was all he planned on doing? Unless he means in those terms, then that's completely different. Of course, friends could still have that kind of fun too.
The sudden train of thought made Yosuke blush and he quickly noticed how his friend's shirt was also raising to show a bit of his stomach. The hint of muscles appeared, and brown eyes quickly stared over at the floor. The fuck was wrong with him and his mind right now?
"How are the nurses?"
Yu was leaned back against the bottom half of the couch as he let one arm hang loosely on top of the couch cushion. His gaze settled on the other, noticing the hint of a blush shading his fair-skin.
"They're all right. Always doing their jobs right, you know?"
"Oh I know."
Biting at his lower lip, Yosuke quickly sat up more as he shifted to look at the other directly. Yu was smirking in amusement.
"Did you want to see-"
The intervention of a cell phone ringing took place. Yu looked confused, moving across the room to answer it.
"Yukiko?"
Yosuke watched as his friend suddenly gave him an apologetic glance before moving into the bathroom to talk without any background noise.
With a sigh, the lone visitor fell back onto the futon as he looked over to his school bag. Inside was the latest issue of his favorite porn magazine, but for some reason, he suddenly felt like he'd be frustrated enough to finish even without the images. His gaze drifted to the reflection of his best friend in the bathroom mirror.
All he could do was wonder if it was always going to be like this from now on.
The week that followed was comprised of interrupted lunches, interrupted hangouts, and eventual bailing of guy's night. It was a little depressing in a way, to be ditched for a girl, but he knew it was inescapable given how uneven Yukiko's free time was from having to work so much at the inn.
Yosuke sat at the riverside. His eyes stared at the water, taking in the glimmer of the sunset on its surface. Against the loneliness he felt, the music was soothing away any thoughts that were leaving lingering doubts and fears. The time alone was nice when he had music, but when he was left to the silence of the world, his thoughts crashed in on him.
He shouldn't have cared so much. He kept asking himself what the hell was wrong, every time he saw the two of them together at school. It was hard not to inwardly cringe, and shy away from even being remotely close to them as they acted like a couple at school. It was so wrong of him, as the guy's best friend, it was so wrong for him to be so hostile towards the relationship.
It hadn't been visible to anyone but himself. He'd hidden it well with smiles, careful remarks, and quick replies of 'it's fine, no big deal' whenever he would be ditched or left early for the girlfriend.
So, you can imagine it came as a great shock to him when he felt his earphones suddenly being pulled away for a moment to let a soothingly familiar voice be heard.
"Hey."
Yosuke jumped in slight surprise, shifting in the seat as he saw the figure of his best friend being silhouetted by the sun's rays. He felt a smile form on his lips in less than a second, his heart suddenly beating a lot faster as he joined him on the bench.
"I thought you were with Yukiko?"
"Her mom called her back to the inn early; they got a huge party in at the last minute."
"Is Yu all lonely now?" Yosuke tried to play off his sudden nervousness with a cutesy voice only to be rewarded with the other rolling his eyes and bumping their legs together.
"You're the one who looked lonely."
The reply had been joking, but it still made Yosuke's heart feel a slight stab from how truthful it actually was. He could feel that leg still remaining close to his own, and that wasn't helping his heart either. At his rate he was going to have a heart attack.
"I'm never lonely with my headphones."
"Woah, too much information."
They exchanged light laughs just as Yu felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He opened it, seeing the text he received and began to reply. A smile was on his face, and the sun shone against his eyes to make the vibrancy of the happiness even more visible.
The similarities in that look that only he saw before were now becoming clear. Yosuke felt scared. It was alarming to see just how happy his friend was from something that was only supposed to be two people having fun.
"We're thinking of doing it."
"Thinking or planning on?"
"More like planning on."
"Please wear a condom. I don't want be the godfather to any baby Yu's any time soon."
Rolling his eyes again, Yu bumped their legs together once more, neither making a move to shy away from the touch afterward.
The touch made Yosuke cling to a hope that would probably never be true.
Another week passed, more confusion and uncertainty had managed to invade into the teen's mind. It had been hard to deal with the reality that his best friend was a guy with hormones and was more than likely going to end up fucking his girlfriend at some point or another. The fact that Yukiko was a virgin made it harder to face, simply because, Yosuke was one too.
What if the situation had been different? What if he had been the one with him…no that would never be. It wasn't possible. And he didn't have those kinds of feelings, well maybe he did think the guy was attractive but so did everyone. And maybe he loved seeing his smile, and when it reached his eyes it made him feel so happy and his heart always stopped and…
Yosuke pulled the blanket over his head as he refused to move an inch out of bed the rest of that Sunday afternoon.
The phone rang. It rang again.
An hour later it rang again.
Five text messages later, Yosuke finally decided to let his arm reach out to grab the damn thing off the nearby table.
The only name that was flashing was 'Narukami Yu'.
The very person he had been trying not to think about at every waking moment.
The messages were a little concerning, more so with how eager he seemed to want to talk to him. He quickly hit to call back, letting his body fall back on the bed as he stared at the ceiling. It only rang twice before he heard the line start up.
"Yosuke?"
"You called?"
"Where have you been?"
"Just…sleeping."
A sigh followed after that, surely out of not being surprised.
"Well, I have a lot to tell you, but my phone is about to die so I guess it'll have to wait until tomorrow."
"Oh."
The line went silent as Yosuke's thoughts were already jumping to the worse conclusions.
"We'll have lunch together tomorrow. I'll tell you all about it then."
"Right okay, see you later."
"Good night."
The line went dead.
Yosuke clutched his cell phone, already feeling like he knew just what he was going to be told.
They did it.
The one thought that had been concerning him ever since he heard it by the riverbank a week ago, he didn't want it to become a reality. But now it already had, and he was going to have to endure every single detail of it tomorrow.
Grabbing his headphones, he tugged them on before moving back under the blanket to try and cut himself from the world, the hurt, and the feelings entirely.
As they sat together for lunch the next day, it was strangely ironic how it had all started with the very same setting. The only difference was how the sky started to have a crossing of grey over the light shade of blue, and it seemed that within the next hour it would probably begin to rain.
They had enough time to eat. Yosuke was trying his best to remain calm, and to force himself to eat since he really had lost his appetite given the impending conversation. It was almost draining him, having to sit and wait for every new topic to come up and then pass.
"Yeah, some of the group was interested in going back to the hot springs again soon."
"Sounds like a plan. As long as we get the bathing schedules right this time."
They recalled the previous time of having been assaulted by the girls when it had been their turn to enter the bath. It was a gruesome memory.
"Is it gonna be at the Amagi Inn or somewhere else?"
Yu seemed to miss picking up a portion of his rice properly at the sudden question. He set his bowl aside in that instant, taking a moment before replying. It seemed like they were finally going to get to the more important conversation given how he was reacting.
"I'm not sure." Yosuke felt his breathing almost stop as he clutched his chopsticks. This was it. He was going to hear the one thing he had feared for the past week. "I guess I should tell you what I wanted to tell you last night."
Grey turned an even darker shade of itself. The subtle sound of thunder joined next, and soon a few scattered raindrops made their appearance on the concrete flooring of the rooftop. Neither of them moved though, and Yosuke could feel himself setting aside his bowl as he tried to keep himself from completely losing base.
"You called and texted me enough for me to already guess what it was man."
"Did I?"
Yu let his gaze drift away from the other, his grey eyes staring directly ahead of him. That made Yosuke clutch at his leg, feeling like he was being mistreated somehow. If something as important as this wasn't something he could even look at him and say, then it wasn't something that he felt the need to approve of. Because, he never really had been okay with it to begin with.
"You did." Yu peered at him from the corner of his gaze, his attention never faltering from the other as he spoke. "Was it great? Is that why you were calling so much? Dude, I'm just dying to know the details." The words came out as normal as he could fabricate them, but it was still evident how his voice cracked at the very last word muttered.
The distinct way he spoke made Yu finally return to looking at him. He could sense the unease there, even though it had been covered up with his false normalcy, the distinct unsureity in brown eyes was clear to him.
"It was so great that you can't even describe it huh?"
Yosuke felt himself falling apart at the weight of grey eyes on him. He couldn't take it. His heart wasn't allowing it, and he found himself getting up, walking away just as rain drops grew from light to more prominent. As he walked across the rooftop, approaching the small awning near the stairwell, his arm was grabbed.
Rain poured down not even a second later. The rain fell, drenching the two in water as they stayed still in that moment. Yosuke allowed himself to turn, his brown eyes staring up, tears unknowingly falling from them as the rain covered up the truth.
For a moment, they said nothing. The downpour filled the atmosphere with noise. A voice that was low, almost demanding was heard, but it never wavered in unease.
"You never smile like you used to. You don't tell me anything, and you haven't said that one word in almost three weeks now." Yu stared intently at the other. "What is going on Yosuke?"
"What's going on?" The question in return was so low that the rain had nearly drowned it out. Yu had to listen closely, noticing how the other's face was clearly wet, but single tears were falling from brown eyes regardless of the rain's guise. "I feel like I've lost my best friend."
Yu remained stoic, never making any change in the grip on the arm he held or how he appeared while listening to him speak.
"I feel like, every time I see you now, the smile that I used to give you isn't one that only I give to you now." Yosuke knew how selfish it made him sound. It hurt him to ever be so clingy or possessive or anything like that, because he hated when people were like that in general. But the feelings he felt, they were too real, too much for him to ignore. It made the tears fall more.
"This has something to do with what we talked about before too doesn't it?"
"You really have to ask man, just-"
"Are you mad?"
"What the fucking hell? How can you ask me that when I'm standing here, telling you all of this, I wouldn't, if I wasn't I wouldn't-" Yosuke couldn't even find the words anymore. He was so frustrated. The tears were never-ending now, his vision blurry, only seeing how grey eyes remained unmoving from him still.
The emotion behind steel-grey was unknown. They were just slits, irises showing nothingness. It felt like a challenge in a way, a testament to his anger or feelings in that moment. Yosuke hated feeling misunderstood, he hated not being heard, and overall he hated how his best friend wasn't saying anything to how he was reaching his breaking point.
The desperation and uncertainty reached its limit, and Yosuke found himself tilting his head up in the little height difference, his face moving in to press his lips onto ones that were wet from the rain.
No response was made, none at all.
Yosuke withdrew, pulling his arm away and finally resigning himself to the end of their friendship. He'd ruined it with his reaction, his emotions becoming overwhelming. His body was trembling, whether it was from the rain or just the impending breakdown he wasn't sure. The few steps he took managed to let him reach just outside of the stairwell door.
A soft gust of wind made his vision change, and he felt himself being turned and roughly pressed back against the wall. Lips ran over his own, claiming his mouth in a kiss that became deep only moments after meeting. Their bodies were slick from being soaked in the rain, yet they rubbed against one another to create a warmth that made them forget all about the storm.
Yu pressed a hand to the other's hip, keeping him in place against his body as he still pressed him against the wall roughly. Their hips dragged together, just as their tongues touched. Letting his other hand move, fingertips brushed away the stray tears that had been on those fair-skin cheeks.
Still, he felt it wasn't enough. Yu cut off the kiss lightly, letting his lips brush to where his fingertips had been. His kisses were gentle, steadily moving over to the side where light auburn-locks were. He brushed past the wet hair, letting a soft kiss be made at the ear lobe before he spoke lowly as if his words were a secret.
"I was calling you, to tell you I broke up with her last night."
Yosuke's eyes went wide with realization. The relief, frustration, and overall embarrassment were flooding through him. It had already been clear to him that his best friend had those same emotions because their kiss had said it all in itself. But, just knowing that there was no one else, just the two of them, it made everything feel right again.
"I don't know how or why it happened, but I feel things for you Yosuke, things that I can never come close to feeling for anyone else." Yu lingered still even after he finished. He could see the blush and surprised look on his friend's face from the corner of his eye. "Yosuke…say that word…" The name was muttered in a way that left Yosuke with goosebumps and the question for the word with such symbolism to them was said by himself shortly afterward without a second thought about it.
"Partner…" His voice was subtle, close to a whisper. "I...I love you…" The blush darkened, his heart racing even more than it already was. Yosuke noticed that gaze piercing through him once again. "Sorry I just, it came out-"
"I love you too Yosuke." Yu knelt in, letting his forehead press against the other's gently as they stared at one another. Their breaths were hot, uneasy, and slightly wet from the rain. "I think I knew it before too, I just never noticed it until now." His hand drifted up, brushing at the lower lip that was reddened from how rough they had kissed.
Yosuke breathed in slowly, his lips parting, letting that thumb brush over the entirety of his bottom lip. It felt almost teasing, and only made him want to kiss again. "I know what you mean." A thought suddenly came to his mind, and it only made the blush darken his cheeks completely. "Uhh, well, can I come over tonight then?"
It took Yu only a few seconds to process just what that statement actually meant.
"You can come over and never leave if you want."
The implications that came along with those words left no more to be said as they initiated another kiss that was handled with a fierce passion; it was enough to leave them breathless.
Yosuke went through his first time, and they both had that genuine smile afterward.
It was a smile that only they shared with one another and one that only they would ever understand.
With the proper answer, nothing was hidden anymore.
~ fin.