Yup, we're doing this. So pull up a chair, get some popcorn and get ready for some fun times. Also, you're gonna get the occasional fourth wall break, hope you're cool with that.
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Hey there, welcome back to the show. I'm Jaune Arc, your beautiful bastard for the evening.
Anyways, I'm out at the Crow Bar drinking what they have on tap and doing my thing, y'know, getting wasted.
It's pretty quiet in the bar today, just me, the bartender, and the television. Life is good. Well, it would be better if I didn't have to deal with my team hounding me about my drinking habits, but whatever.
Anyways, I take a drink from the beverage in front of me and look at the TV. There's nothing good on.
But then I hear the door open and see a certain someone walk through, I'll give you a hint, we share the same drinking habits.
"Hey, how you doing you drunk little bastard?" Hear Qrow say.
"Oh i'm just fine tall, dark and avian, how about you?" I say in a sarcastic tone. I'm not gonna say the pirate bit again, I think I've said it enough.
"Meh, can't complain. Anyways, what are you doing here, don't you have more important things to be doing?" He says as he sits on the stool next to me.
"Not really, I've got my assignments done, my teams off doing god knows what, and Blake won't let me pet her ears, so no, not really." I say as I take a sip from my drink.
"What is it with you and trying to touch her ears, is it a fetish or something?" I hear Qrow say.
"No, it's not a fetish! It's just curiousity, nothing more!" I say, well, 'say' isn't the right word, more like yelled.
"Ok, jeez, just messing with you kid. Anyways, how have my nieces been?" He asks, so that's what this is about.
"They're alright, I still don't get why you're asking me though, why not ask them?" I ask.
"They aren't supposed to know I'm here, at least not until the Vytal tournament." He says, again, why?
"Why can't they know again, and why are you telling me?" I ask
"One, it's a secret, two, because you wont remember any of this." He says, just how am I not going to remember? Oh right, this isn't canon to the story.
"Well, while we're here, you wanna make a bet?" I say as I turn to hin.
"What kind of bet?"
"Guy who drinks the most wins, the loser has to tell Ozpin that his coffee tastes like shit."
"Kid... you just lost a bet." He says with a smirk.
"Bartender, get us some of the strongest stuff you got! Put it on Ozpin's tab." I say, oh man, Ozpin's gonna be pissed.
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About an hour later, I think...
I feel my eyes open and I'm instantly blinded by a bright light. I rub my eyes and open them once more and what I see doesn't surprise me.
On the counter I see a large stack of empty glasses and all of the alcohol is gone. Just how much did we drink?
I look around and see that Qrow is gone and the bartender's gone too. I stand up and walk towards the door but as I reach for the handle the door opens and I see a certain someone. I'll give you a hint, it's Yang.
"Jaune, just when were you going to tell me you were out drinking, and why didn't you come back to the dorm last night?!" I hear her yell into my ear, what's with her and yelling into my ear? Seriously, I feel like one of these days I might go deaf.
"I was gonna invite you to come with me but you were too busy sleeping, and what do you mean 'last night', I've only been here for an hour." I say, I check my scroll and see that it says 7:00.
"No Jaune, you were here for 13 hours." She says with a face that just says 'unamused'.
I check the time again on my scroll and see that it says 7am, I got here at 6pm, well fuck.
"I'm in trouble aren't I?"
"Yup."
"You want to hurt me, don't you?"
"Yup."
"You want to take this outside?"
"Yup."
Well then, this is gonna suck. I walk outside the door and past Yang, but the second I walk past her, I feel something hit the back of my head and I go unconscious, ok, I guess she was really pissed.
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Oh hey, consciousness is coming back to me. I feel as though I have been knocked out a lot lately, then again, the writer isn't very creative.
Hey, fuck you. You know I've got the flu.
Build a bridge and get over it. Anyways, I open my eyes and I find myself back in my dorm. If I had to guess, I think Yang might have dragged me back here.
Welp, time to wait for my team to bitch and moan about me being out so late, seriously, what are they, my parents?
Well, I'm sure you guys don't want to see that, so I'll just skip to the part where I tell them to chill. So yeah, see you in a few...
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Can't say I'm too proud of this one, but I think it's alright, maybe I'll come back and make this better. Anyways, if you couldn't tell, this is the start of a wonderful new series that I hope you guys will enjoy. It's not gonna be too close to the canon of Drunken Bastard, but it wont stray far from it either. Also, I wasn't kidding when I said I caught the flu, it sucks but I'm still willing to make these. Anyways, that's all I had to say. Cya