Broken crown
A/N: This one-shot is for tvshowgeek who was my 47th reviewer on my other story Call me Maybe. It takes place around ''47 seconds'', where Rick learns that Kate's heard his confession and picks up from there. Drama is a little different from what I usually write, but I tried my best, I'm still learning how to work this angle. I hope this lives up to your standards! x =)
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle, nor do I own the amazing song ''Broken Crown'' by Mumford and Sons.
''Touch my mouth and hold my tongue.
I'll never be your chosen one.
I'll be home safe and tucked away.
You can't tempt me if I don't see the day.''
Mumford and Sons – Broken Crown
''All this time... you remembered?'' It came out as a whisper. He was dumbfounded by her statement. The pain visible in his voice as he took in her words once again. She did remember.
Angry? Yes. Sad? Yes. Disappointed? Hell yes.
He took a deep breath. If she lied about hearing, well, his confession to her. Then how on earth could he trust her ever again? How?
And in that moment, he gave up.
Richard Castle wasn't someone who could simply walk away from a fight. Days of reconsidering mixed with that gnawing feeling that you should say something, anything, but instead just tucking it away for the problem to grow and silently waiting for it to disappear. Especially when it came to Kate. But hey, they had never been good at communicating when it came to feelings.
He stepped out of the observation room, closing the door behind him. The decision was easy. He needed some alone time. He grabbed his coat from where it lay on his chair and quickly made his way to the elevator. He wasn't just going to sit there, torture himself, wondering why she'd decided that lying to him was the best option for the both of them.
He wasn't going to let that tear him apart.
No. He needed space. Time to work things out. Decisions needed to be made. He wasn't sure if he could life with the face that she didn't return his feelings-
She stepped out of interrogation, a quirky smile on her face as she'd just gotten interesting information from the suspect. Rick knew that she wasn't even aware that she had a face just for breaking a suspect, but she did. He had to bite back a smile, made himself remind him why he was leaving at only 1 pm.
He pressed the button for the elevator, groaning because it was taking so long. He'd almost turned around to see where Esposito and Ryan were but he realized that they were in the break room. The elevator finally arrived and he stepped in, letting his back hit the wall.
She walked back to her desk, seeing two cups of coffee standing on her desk. So Castle had been there, but not in his usual seat. Weird.
Kate looked around, she was just about to debrief Castle about what she'd learned from the interrogation, but he was nowhere to be found. Slowly, she let her eyes scan across the room.
Elevator. He was leaving already? She grabbed her coat and took a small sprint to catch up with him.
''Hey Castle, want to go grab a bite?'' A small smile already forming on her face.
''I'm good.''
''Where are you going?''
''Home.'' He snapped.
She had to refrain herself from asking why? She took him in. He looked tired all of the sudden, like the energy was being drained out of his body. What the hell had happened to him in those few minutes he went out to get coffee?
''You okay?'' She tried.
''I'm fine.'' Oh no, he didn't get to play that card.
She stepped in front of him, forcing them to have eye contact. ''Tell me.''
''Beckett. Stop.'' He was using her last name again, okay so maybe he was looking for a fight.
''Did something happen to Alexis? Martha?''
He huffed. ''No, nothing to do with them.''
''Then why the hell are you acting like this?'' She snapped back.
She could see the anger rising in his eyes and his hands curled up in fists. He was trying to prevent something... hurt her? No, he wouldn't do that. She knew the look in his eyes, he wanted to say something. Then why didn't he? Maybe he couldn't. Okay, she had to get this out of him.
He didn't answer, just kept his eyes focused on the elevator door. Shouldn't they have been on the first floor by now? ''Castle, what is wrong.'' She tried with a softer voice this time.
''I can't Beckett, not now. I just need some time, okay?''
''Time? Time for what?'' She asked, a confused look on her face.
''Look, I didn't question you when you asked for time. So it would be nice if you could do the same for me once.''
''Well, yeah Castle, I happened to be shot when I asked for time.'' She spat at him.
''Yeah, I remember pretty well Kate. The real question is, do you?''
''Do I, what?''
''Do you remember?''
Shit. ''I- Castle-''
''No. I asked you if you remembered and you said you didn't. I believed you Kate. And now I stand there watching you interrogate someone and you tell him that you remember. You remember being shot, you remember every second of it.'' She stayed silent so he continued.
''So do you remember, Kate? Huh? That I told you I loved you?''
''Castle, you know it wasn't-''
''Wasn't like what Beckett? I saw you dying in that ambulance, Kate. You lost so much blood- It was everywhere. I can't-'' He had to take a deep breath and force the image out of his mind. ''Do you know what it's like to see the life drain out of someone you-'' He wasn't even going to deny it anymore. ''-love?''
She swallowed. ''Or was it all just a trick, huh? Telling him that you remember it, just so you can play his mind, make him confess. Because Kate, I'm not sure what the truth is anymore. And neither do you.''
''Are you done.''
He huffed. ''Not even close.''
''Continue then.''
He watched her swallow once again as she hid behind her emotionless mask. He knew that yelling at her wouldn't exactly help their situation, but quite honestly, it felt good to get the words of his chest.
''It was all a big joke.'' He whispered, shaking his head as he did so.
Silence took them over.
''Why hasn't the elevator moved?'' She said more to herself then to Castle. Kate grabbed her phone and dialed Ryan's number. ''Ryan, yeah, have you gotten any information about the elevator? Because- I'm in it. Yes, Castle is, too.'' She groaned and got a hand through her hair in frustration. ''Okay, yes I got it, thanks Ryan.''
He just looked at her as if to say: and?
''We're stuck between the first and second floor. The power went out at the precinct. They are working on it, might take a couple of hours.''
''Okay. That's just- Great.'' Kate moved to the left side of the elevator and pushed the emergency button, but apparently that wasn't working either. Thankfully, the emergency lighting was working after all. She let herself slide down the wall and crossed her legs, this might take some time.
The air was thick and Kate was desperately looking for something to say to him.
Castle broke the silence. ''This is my last case.''
''What?''
''I quit.''
''Why?'' She wanted to smack herself against her head.
''Because Kate, I'm tired-'' He paused. ''I'm tired of waiting.''
''Are you now?'' She said, failing to cover up the disappointment in her voice. ''Then why didn't you leave sooner, huh?''
''That's where you're wrong. I'd wait for you Kate, because you're worth it. But I don't want to invest into something that isn't there. And at this point, I just can't do it anymore-'' He started.
''Could you shut up for a second?''
His eyes shot open.
''Castle, what makes you think that I don't have feelings for you?'' What? ''I told you that I was seeing a therapist, right?''
He nod. ''Well, he's been telling me to act on my feelings. I've made progress over the last few months and I know what I want Castle.''
''Do you?'' He said, almost hopeful, but he quickly hid it not wanting to get his hopes up.
''We need to talk about this some other time, Castle.'' She tried.
He chuckled. ''Why not now, we've got the time, it's not like we can go anywhere.''
''Exactly. We can't go anywhere, we can't cool down... we can't just make it go away.''
''Make it go away?''
''Yeah, feelings Rick. Isn't that what you wanted to talk about?''
He was stunned. They were really doing this.
''Because I don't want to make them go away, love isn't just a switch you can turn on and off, Rick.''
''Love?''
''Yes, Castle. Love.'' She swallowed. ''That's what we're talking about here, right?''
He let himself slide against the wall, just like Kate had done earlier, settling down next to her. Castle folded his coat and dropped it next to him.
''You hungry?''
She shook her head.
''I have a snickers bar.''
She chuckled. ''Alright.''
He handed her half of his candy bar and started eating his own half. ''So, what is it you want.''
''You. I just want you.'' Shocked by her statement, he almost choked on his snack.
Kate chuckled. ''Sincere enough for you?''
''Yeah, that does the trick.''
The elevator started moving again and the doors opened. In front of the opening stood a couple of mechanics and some detectives. The mechanics started talking, but Castle couldn't hear what they were saying. He saw Kate standing up and he repeated the movement. She started talking back to the mechanics, reassuring that they were alright. She threw a dirty look at a detective, who was showing a very suggestive smile.
Castle cleared his throat and Kate seemed to understand. She did not feel like being in the spotlight, she hated it. Castle usually didn't have that problem, but this was different. They'd just gotten their answers. He followed her towards the stairs. They didn't talk on their way, he just wordlessly followed her back to the third floor of the 12th precinct.
They walked back to her desk and he sat down on his chair. He saw the two cups of coffee standing on her desk, where he'd left them just before he went into interrogation to check up on Kate. His stomach still twisted when he thought of it, that moment of realization. But he was wrong, she did care for him. It lifted an enormous weight of his shoulder. She did care.
He caught her looking at him and she simply smiled. She grabbed the coffee and took a sip, but immediately frowned.
''Just how long has this been here.''
He chuckled. ''Too long.'' He grabbed the two cups and threw them in the garbage can beneath her desk.
''You guys, okay?'' Esposito asked, coming into view.
''Yeah, we're good Javi.''
''You guys were stuck in that thing for three hours, how did you not kill him?'' Ryan threw in.
Three hours? What?
''I almost did, actually.'' The boys laughed, including Castle. ''Do you boys think you could manage another hour without us?''
''Sure Beckett, we're just going over the video footage again. Nothing special. You guys take a break.'' Esposito told her and Ryan nod in agreement.
''Thanks guys.''
Esposito and Ryan walked back to their desks, leaving the two alone once again. Kate looked at her garbage can and saw the two, still full, coffee cups laying there and chuckled. He followed her eyes and saw her staring at the coffee cups. Suggesting to get a new one would be too soon, right? He thought to himself.
''Want to go and grab a new one? I think we deserve that break.'' She suggested.
''Sounds like a plan.'' Maybe not.
''You're not going home anymore?'' She said with a slightly hopeful look.
''Not unless you give me a reason to.''
''I can't promise you anything Castle, but I'll try.''
''That's all I'm asking.'' He said sincerely.
He nod, grabbed her coat from her chair, helping her put it on.
''I think we should take the stairs this time.''
He chuckled. ''Yes, please.''
''How about we go to that new Chinese place instead? I'm starving.'' She suggested.
''Sure and we could pick up some coffee to go afterwards.'' He added.
''It's a date.'' She avowed, grabbing her bag and making her way to the stairs.
His lips curved up in a smile as he took in her words. Struck by her words, he had to make a small sprint to catch up with her again. No one's tomorrow is guaranteed. Sometimes you need to act on that realization. He was glad he did.