First M*A*S*H fic, leave lots of reviews! starts off a little slow, but the next chapters will be up soon.

Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H or any of the affiliated characters

Chapter 1: Ferret Face's Leave

When Hawkeye strolled into the Swamp with a huge grin plastered on his face, Trapper, couldn't let it go without questioning.

"Someone's walking on sunshine," he commented.

Hawkeye turned to him. "Trapper, if I hadn't had those martinis for breakfast, I would've skipped through the door."

"And why is that?"

"I got the best news."

Trapper's head perked up. "The war is over and we can all go home?"

Hawkeye held up his hands in defeat. "Fine. Second best news." He paused for a dramatic flare. "Ferret Face goes on his leave in two days."

Trapper's grin spread larger than Hawkeye's. "You're kidding!"

"You think I'd lie about this?" Hawkeye said.

Immediately, Trapper headed over to the still. "How about something to celebrate with? Still got some left; today was an excellent year." Hawkeye grabbed the glasses and Trapper filled them to the top.

"A toast," Hawkeye said, adding an olive as a finishing touch and holding his glass up high. "Two weeks without Frank. Two weeks is color."

"I'll drink to that," Trapper agreed, clinking their glasses together. "Where's he going?" he asked after a sip. Not that he really cared where Ferret Face was going to be as long as he was away from them.

"Tokyo."

Trapper grinned. "He deserves every minute."

"So do we," Hawkeye said.

"Won't there be a replacement? He supposed to be a major."

Hawkeye nodded. "They're bringing another surgeon in from the 58th, or somewhere around there."

Trapper lifted his glass again. "Then to the new surgeon: May he be more fun."

"Less ferret-like."

"A good drinking companion."

"And able to use a scalpel."

Hawkeye and Trapper went about business as usual the following day, the day before Frank was supposed to leave.

"Hello, Frank," they greeted him in the mess tent as they sat next to him and Margaret.

"Oh, Lord, what do you two want?" Margaret asked rhetorically.

Hawkeye looked deep into her eyes. "Margaret, we've been through this already."

"We want you," Trapper finished, eyes on her just the same.

"Excuse me!" Frank exclaimed.

Hawkeye looked him up and down. "There is no excuse for you."

"But we do see that you control your want very well."

"Yes, what medicine are you on? Could we get in on that?"

Margaret turned to Frank, eyes wide. "Frank, we don't have to take this!"

Frank nodded energetically. "You're right. Let's go."

"Frank!" she yelled, stopping him halfway through getting off the bench. "Give them an order!"

"Oh, Margaret," Hawkeye whined, "he was doing so well!"

"He was this close to realizing we don't listen to him!" Trapper held his thumb and forefinger a hair's width apart. He looked at Hawkeye. "Now we have to start all over."

"Come on, Margaret," Frank said, taking her hand and leading her out the door, though this time she went without complaint.

"Two whole weeks in Tokyo," Trapper said.

Hawkeye shrugged. "I give him two days before he comes crawling back."

"Why? He'll miss us too much?"

"Why else?" Hawkeye asked as they stood and left the mess tent, hearing the PA system announcing incoming wounded. "It's certainly not the hours."

Thoughts? Review please!